Moonlighting
by HikerChick
Summary: AU in which our favorite characters make a little cash on the side as Fae artifact hunters. Lauren, Dyson, Hale and Ciara are hired to track down several mysterious and powerful gemstones. Things are going as planned, until unaligned newcomer Bo shows up on the scene. Doccubus ensues. Funny, flirty, and mostly angst-free.
1. Being Badass

**Chapter One – Being Badass**

Lauren Lewis bit her lip and leaned so close to the video screen her nose touched.

"Don't sit like that, you'll destroy those beautiful brown eyes." Dyson snapped his utility belt in place. "You humans are too damn fragile."

"That's why I'm the one running surveillance in the comfort and safety of the van, and you're the one breaking in to the Toronto Museum of Antiquities." Lauren turned to her friend and winked. "Besides, the notion that a computer screen is harmful to eyesight is predominantly a fallacy. Eyestrain and concurrent headaches are caused by environmental conditions surrounding the screen – insufficient lighting, improper placement of equipment…"

"Wow. I _do not _care." Dyson yawned.

"Seriously chica, can't you turn the Doc off for two seconds?" Hale groaned from the driver's seat.

Lauren furrowed her brow. "You want me to turn off fourteen years of medical training because you two can't understand words that consist of more than three syllables?"

"We want you to turn it off because it bores us to death," Hale replied.

Lauren looked back and forth between the two of them. "Fair enough." She turned back to her surveillance equipment and grinned.

For almost six years, Lauren had been crushed under the weight of her responsibilities to the Ash. But now that Lachlan was dead and Hale's sister, Val, was in power, Lauren was finally enjoying certain freedoms. The freedom to come and go from the lab as she pleased. The freedom to associate with the people she chose. And the freedom to put her college hacker skills to good use.

Unfeeling, professional, frigid doctor by day. Five star badass Fae treasure hunter by night. It wasn't a bad way to live. She pulled a headset over her ears.

"Ciara, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear. Can you see me?"

Lauren had hacked into the museum's security cameras hours ago. With a few keystrokes, she pulled a wide shot of the DeVry Gallery up to full screen. In the corner, the fairy queen gave an almost unnoticeable wave.

Dyson grabbed a headset and hovered over Lauren. "We see you. Where's the Llangareth Stone?"

"Follow my movements. I'll walk right past it and give you a signal."

Dyson grinned. "I am _more_ than happy to watch you move."

Lauren rolled up her museum brochure and smacked him in the nose. "Bad dog! Down!"

Dyson shoved her shoulder good-naturedly, and they watched Ciara slide elegantly through the museum crowd. She paused briefly in front of a glass case. She scratched the tip of her nose before continuing to the exit doors.

"That's our mark," Dyson said. "How long until the museum closes?"

"Forty minutes until the doors are locked. The guard starts his rounds in that gallery, so we'll need to wait until he clears out before you proceed," Lauren replied.

Hale scoffed. "He's only a human, we can take him no prob."

"You want this to be clean, right? Quiet? That's how I work." Lauren ducked down under the console, and emerged with a Styrofoam carton and four sets of chopsticks. "Now, who wants Chinese while we wait?"

* * *

Lauren checked her watch as Ciara polished off the last of the moo shu pork. Dyson impatiently paced back and forth outside the van. Hale sat on the bumper and whistled to himself. It still made Lauren nervous when he did that.

Their van was parked three blocks away from the museum entrance, outside an abandoned building. Lauren checked the exterior cameras. It was dark, and the only light came from the streetlamps on the sidewalk. There weren't any people around. She checked her watch again. 8:02.

"Cue the guard," she whispered to herself. In that exact moment, a pudgy human guard waving a nightstick sauntered out into the main gallery, peering into cases as he went.

"I have activity," she told the group. Dyson, Hale, and Ciara gathered around her monitors to watch.

"I still think we should just knock him out and grab the stone," Hale muttered.

"Okay he's almost to the exit doors," Lauren gave a play-by-play. Suddenly he stopped and turned around, holding his nightstick high in the air. "What the?" She zoomed in for a close-up on the guard's face. It looked like he was speaking to someone off camera, but the video quality was too poor to read his lips.

"Now can we go in?" Hale said.

"Not until we know who's there with him." Dyson leaned in closer.

Lauren zoomed back out to a strange sight. The guard was staring, slack-jawed, at a woman. Lauren could understand why he was so hot-and-bothered. The woman was wearing the shortest skirt Lauren had ever seen. Lauren couldn't get a look at the woman's face…her back was turned to the camera.

"Who is that?" Ciara asked. No one answered. No one knew. Onscreen, the woman reached out and touched the guard's cheek.

"Looks like she's about to get her freak on." Hale whistled. "Someone get some popcorn."

Lauren's eyes narrowed as she watched the action onscreen. The woman tilted her head slightly, and Lauren caught a glimpse of her eyes – it seemed like they were glowing. Strange…and sexy. Girl on guy didn't really do it for her, but there was something about that woman that oozed sensuality, even over a low resolution black and white video feed.

"Shit!" Dyson growled. "It's the succubus. She's going to steal the Stone…come on!" Dyson, Hale, and Ciara leaped out of the van and sprinted toward the Museum, while Lauren's eyes remained fixed on the screen. She knew what a succubus was, obviously, but she'd never seen one in action.

The succubus leaned in for a kiss…but her lips never touched the guard; her mouth hovered a few centimeters away. A thin wisp of vapor slid from the guard's mouth and into her own. She was feeding.

"Uh oh." Lauren said. This was bad, bad news for the guard. His legs dropped out from under him, and he slumped to the ground in an unconscious heap.

Lauren was up out of her chair and into Doctor Lewis mode in two seconds flat. She grabbed her medical kit from under the car seat, jumped out of the van 'action hero' style, and ran toward the museum to catch up with the others.

* * *

Lauren rounded the corner at full speed. She reached the set of concrete stairs in front of the museum, and her shoes skidded along the pavement as she forced herself to hit the brakes. The scene in front of her was like something out of the Wild West. Showdown at the O-Fae Corral.

Dyson, Hale, and Ciara stood faced off against the Succubus, legs bent, arms out, ready to pounce. The Succubus was simply grinning, laid back, amused by the attention. She tossed the Llangareth Stone in the air, and caught it with a cheeky wink.

Lauren gulped at her first good look at the succubus. This woman was, quite simply, the most gorgeous specimen of Fae or human she'd ever laid eyes on. Everything about her screamed 'sex'. Lauren followed the high heels of her shoes up the contours of her calf to her thigh. She felt a wave of desire roll through her entire body as her eyes travelled to the point where her miniskirt barely covered….

"Hey! Hair Porn!" Lauren was snapped out of her trance by three words from the succubus. The brunette grinned and slowly licked her lips. "Your gay is showing."

"Shit." Lauren quietly swore and looked away, blood rushing to her face. Succubi and Incubi were capable of reading the sexual energy of humans, and she'd completely given herself away. How mortifying. "Shit, shit, shit."

"What happened to the guard?" Ciara had the good grace to ignore the exchange between the Doctor and the Succubus.

"He's still alive. Don't worry about him…I left him a very happy man."

"We can't just let you walk out of here, you know."

"Actually, I was counting on that. I'm having a bad day you see, and I'd love to bang. In the violent sense of the word," she looked and Dyson, "and most definitely in the sexual sense of the word," her eyes flicked towards Lauren.

"Think about kappa." Lauren thought to herself, "smelly, slimy, disgusting, web-footed, nothingsexualaboutthem kappa."

"Give us the stone," Dyson growled.

"Finders keepers puppy dog. My employer is shelling out big bucks for this baby."

"So is mine," Hale took a step forward. "And I plan to collect." He pursed his lips to let out a siren whistle…

"Yo! Andy freakin' Griffith!" Lauren heard a voice behind her, and felt cold, sharp metal pierce her neck as a thin arm wrapped around her throat. "One note from you, and blondie's done. I'm feeling kinda stabby today."

The Succubus rolled her eyes. "Kenzi I told you to wait in the car!"

"You always make me wait in the car! I can do more for Team Bo than just looking hot in boots, you know…"

While they argued, Lauren ran through several scenarios in her mind. There's no way she was going to let this puny girl threaten her…not five star badass Lauren Lewis.

She'd been taking ju jitsu classes since the very day she began working for the Light Fae. A human had to be able to take care of herself out amongst all these crazies, after all.

"…you want to contribute? How about cleaning up your dishes before they start growing mold? How about not leaving dirty socks in the frickin' living room?"

"Oh you want to play it like that, huh? How about not having _sex_ on the _couch_ where I blast robot hookers! How about that?"

Lauren marveled at how quickly the situation had turned from deadly to ridiculous. With a shake of her head, she hooked her leg around Kenzi's and pulled. The girl completely lost her balance and fell backward. Lauren grabbed the knife out of thin air and circled around. She wrapped an elbow around Kenzi's throat in a headlock and held the knife to her temple.

"Give us the stone, or your friend dies," Lauren said, calmly.

"Hey…hey…" Kenzi squirmed beneath her. "Violence is never the answer. We're all friends here, right? Right Bo?" She looked to the Succubus with pleading eyes.

"See? This is why I told you to wait in the damn car." Bo fumed. "Well, it seems like my thick-headed BFF has me in an…awkward position."

Lauren closed her eyes. "Think of kappa think of kappa think of kappa…"

Bo held the stone in her palm. "It's a shame, really." She took one last look before tossing it to Dyson. He caught it, never taking his fuming eyes off of her. She slowly walked down the stairs. Lauren rose to let Kenzi scamper away.

The Succubus stopped in front of the doctor, and stared hungrily at the blonde. Lauren's breath hitched in her throat, as Bo ran a soft thumb along her jawline. "As for you," Bo leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "I'm sure we'll see each other again, soon."

Lauren's eyes shot open as the Succubus sent a burst of pure energy into her body, pulsing through her bloodstream from head to toe. Every molecule in Lauren's body was jolted awake and begging for more. Bo pulled back and grinned slyly, knowing the affect she had on the sexy blonde. She sauntered away in her tiny miniskirt, hips giving a little extra roll, knowing that the other woman would be watching her every move as she walked away.

"So Doc," Hale jogged down the steps and stood next to her, head tilted slightly, enjoying the view of the retreating Bo. "What's your professional opinion on our new Succubus friend?"

"Fuck me." Lauren whispered, as Bo rounded the corner and was gone.


	2. Satisfaction Guaranteed

**Chapter Two – Satisfaction Guaranteed**

"How are you holding up, Lauren?" Dyson took his eyes off of the road long enough to give the Doctor a concerned glance.

"I'm fine." Lauren held a small cloth up to her neck. "It's only a minor laceration, a few millimeters deep. Stitches won't be necessary. And according to the International Clinical Recommendations on Scar Management, the application of silicone gel polymers and an oral dose of methylsulfonylmethane should…"

"I get it, I get it. You're okay."

"Dyson, did you know that woman?" Ciara leaned in from the backseat. "Only, I got that impression from the way you reacted when we saw her on the surveillance video."

"I've knew _of_ her, but this was the first I'd ever seen her. She's been in town for a few weeks with that human sidekick, taking odd jobs for the Dark."

"So she's Dark Fae?"

"No. Unaligned."

"What?" Lauren narrowed her eyes at Dyson. "How is that even possible?"

Dyson shrugged. "I don't know her backstory. Everything I've heard is rumors."

"Don't need to know her backstory to know that she's smokin' hot," Hale chimed in. "Listen Doc, if you aren't gonna hit that tell me _right now_ because I've got plans that involve red wine, Barry White, a sexy succubus and very little clothing…"

"Ugh, Hale. That's a visual I did _not_ need." Lauren groaned. But in the back of her mind she couldn't help picturing herself in the exact same scenario. She turned and looked out the window so the others couldn't see the sly grin spreading across her face.

* * *

"I need a snack," Bo bit her thumb sharply, hoping the pain would drown out the hunger. She looked over at Kenzi.

"Uh uh. No freakin' way…this human is NOT on the menu." Kenzi squeezed the steering wheel. "Besides, you succ'ed the plumber this morning!" She changed the tone of her voice. "I'm sorry mister, I think there's something wrong with my pipes. Well, maybe I should come in and have a look…I have just the tool for the job. Bow chicka BOW WOW…"

"Kenzi," Bo interrupted as Kenzi danced in the driver's seat. "I'm not kidding. I need to feed."

"It's that chick that wanted to turn me into shish kabob, isn't it? She's got you all riiiiiled up? She's got your lady bits blue? Can't Bo get no sa-tis-fac-tion? Has't she left thou so unsatisfied?"

"Kenzi!"

"Okay, okay." Kenzi loved picking on Bo, but she could tell this was serious. She scanned the roadside for a victim, and noticed a man in a business suit sitting alone at a bus stop. "Today is your lucky day, buddy." She pulled over and patted Bo on the thigh. "Have fun. Don't hurt him too much."

Bo's eyes glowed blue as she stepped out of the car and stood in front of the clearly awestruck businessman. She grinned. "Hi. My name is Bo." She put a hand under his trembling chin, and tilted his mouth up to hers. "You're going to miss your bus."

* * *

Lauren, Dyson, Ciara and Hale sat across from each other in a back room at the Fae bar, the Dal Riata. Dyson placed the Llangareth Stone in the middle of the table, so they could all get a good look. "This Stone is worth more than the GDP of most small countries," he said.

Hale whistled in amazement.

"Please don't do that." Lauren whispered.

"You're never going to forgive me for the Incident, are you."

"No, I'm not," she replied tonelessly, staring at the object on the table. "This doesn't look like a 'stone', does it? It's more…"

"Pendant?" Ciara said.

"Amulet?" Dyson added.

"Talisman?" Hale chimed in.

"I was going to say 'shiny', but your answers are better." Lauren grabbed the stone and held it to her eyes for a closer look. It was brilliant polished green jade, carved in the shape of a dog.

"Can you tell what it is?" Dyson asked.

"If I had to guess, I'd say it's the Gwyllgi. Also known as the Black Dog of Destiny. A mastiff-like dog from Welsh folklore that haunts quiet roads late at night." She grinned at Dyson. "I think you and he would be good pals."

"A free round of drinks for my conquering treasure hunters!" The owner of the Dal, Trick, placed a tray of overflowing beer mugs on the table.

"Thanks Trick, but we prefer payment in cash," Dyson said.

"All in good time, my friends. A deal _is_ a deal after all." He was practically bouncing up and down as he took the stone from Lauren. "Would you like to see what it does?"

The four leaned in close to watch Trick. He placed the stone between his palms, closed his eyes, and rubbed his hands together, chanting an incantation in Old Welsh. He opened his palms and lifted the stone skyward as the chant reached a crescendo that was almost a shout.

They waited, breathlessly.

Nothing happened.

Trick opened one of his eyes. It swiveled to glare at his four 'conquering' treasure hunters. "You fools. This isn't the real Stone. You've been duped."

* * *

Bo strutted from the alleyway, hair disheveled, shirt half-buttoned, looking completely satisfied. Kenzi was relieved to see the businessman stumble out of the alley a few seconds later, clearly exhausted but most definitely still alive. Bo opened the car door and plopped next to her best friend.

"Feeling better?" Kenzi asked.

"Hell. Yes." Bo sighed deeply and leaned back against the chair as Kenzi pulled back onto the road. "Where's our booty?"

"North of our thighs and south of our back."

Bo rolled her eyes. "Where's the _stone_?"

"Glove compartment," Kenzi replied, grinning.

Bo gave the panel a few well-placed smacks before it opened. Everything in this car was either falling apart or stuck together. The driver's side door didn't open anymore, and if you rolled the windows down you'd never get them back up again. Trying to use the heater could cause asphyxiation. But still, the car was her baby. She unraveled the stone from its hiding place in a handkerchief, and twirled it between her fingers.

"The Morrigan was right about bringing a fake," Bo said. "I wonder how she knew that other team was looking for it too?"

"That woman knows _everything_ that goes on here. A gal can't even take a piss in this town without her finding out about it."

"Ew." Bo looked at Kenzi with disgust. "You're right, though. So, what do you think it does?"

"Don't know. Must be something kickass for so many people to want it. My money's on super-powered-ultra-mega Fae aphrodisiac."

Bo raised an eyebrow and looked at the stone in a brand new way.

"Don't even think about it, Captain Vajayjay. You take an aphrodisiac and you're liable to wipe out the entire population of Canada and half of the United States."

Bo carefully wrapped the stone back in the cloth, and put it away. "Good point. Better safe than sorry."


	3. Pointy Objects

**Chapter Three – Pointy Objects**

Bo held the katana in front of her like a samurai warrior, and slowly sliced it through the air. She spun into a series of choreographed, intensely precise swings. Routines like this helped Bo maintain control when she was hungry, horny, or angry. After her conversation with the Morrigan, Bo was a mixture of all three.

_ "You were right. The siren, the shifter, the fairy and the doctor showed up at the museum. They fell for the fake." Bo placed the real Stone in the Morrigan's eager hands. _

_ "You do good work," the leader of the Dark replied. _

_ "You have no idea." Bo's eyes travelled up and down the Morrigan's body before Bo could stop herself. Pure instinct was such a pain in the ass._

_ "Oooh, cheeky. I love a girl with spirit."_

_ Bo twirled a lock of the Morrigan's hair between her fingers. "And I love an employer who pays what is owed." _

_ "Touché." The Morrigan snapped her fingers and one of her hunky bodyguards stepped up, carrying a small burlap sack on a tray. "Two hundred thousand Canadian dollars, as agreed." Bo opened the bag and peeked inside, just to make sure. "You don't trust me?" The Morrigan pretended to be hurt. _

_ "No, I don't."_

_ "Smart girl. What's your plan now that you're rich? You can move out of that crack shack you're living in with that filthy human…"_

_ "I prefer Clubhouse, and the human's name is Kenzi," Bo steamed. _

_ "Or you could put that hunk of junk vehicle out of its misery…"_

_ "She's not an 'it', she's a 'she'."_

_ "You could buy sleeves for all those tacky leather vests you wear…"_

_ "Watch it, bitch!"_

_ "Or you could double your earnings by taking another assignment."_

_ "…I'm listening."_

Bo inhaled deeply, closed her eyes and listened to the katana as it whooshed undisturbed through the air. She pirouetted like a ballerina and sliced down and…

"AAAH!" Kenzi screamed. Bo's eyes flew open to see her roommate standing in front of her, holding two halves of a cardboard box, cereal streaming down onto the hardwood floor.

"Dude! You disemboweled my Honey Berry Crunch!"

"Jesus Kenz, how many times do I have to tell you NOT to sneak up on me when I'm meditating?"

"You call that meditating? I call it death dealing." Kenzi bent down to clean the sad, sad remains of her breakfast. Bo helped her finish. The last thing the Clubhouse needed was rats. "What happened with the Morrigan today?" Kenzi asked, scooping the cereal into the trash can.

"She offered me another job. I turned it down."

"BoBo!" Kenzi slapped her arm. "What the hellz?"

"She wanted us to steal from a Light Fae elder. I told her we don't roll that way."

"Of _course_ we roll that way. Money is money, or did you forget?"

"We're not thieves, Kenz. Okay, maybe _you_ are…"

"Dude! You just pinched the Gareth Lloyd Stone, or whatever the hell it was called, from a museum!"

"Yeah but that doesn't count. Museums steal all the time so it's more like…redistributing. Haven't you ever heard of the Elgin Marbles?"

"Is that like a playground game? Like hopscotch?"

Bo smacked herself in the forehead. "No Kenzi it's not a…_that's not the point_. There are rules. There's a line! We need some sort of a…a moral code or we're no better than that wolf Dyson and his merry band of grave robbers."

Kenzi stepped into Bo's personal space. "Rules are made to be broken. Lines are meant to be crossed. And I don't need a lecture on moral codes from someone who sucks people's souls out of their mouths to survive."

"First of all I don't suck souls. I suck chi. And second, that has nothing to do with morals. It's biological imperative."

"Guess what? _Survival_ is a biological imperative. And in case you forgot, there's something much bigger and badder than the Morrigan that's going to turn us into Fae food if we don't pay him back what we owe."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" Bo fumed at her best friend.

"Let's not point fingers, it's so petty and beneath us." Kenzi waved Bo off. "Just call the Morrigan. We'll make some coin, and finally be free. Okay?"

Bo growled and snatched her cell phone from the counter. "Since when are you the boss?"

"Oh, honey," Kenzi patted her on the arm, "I've always been the boss."

* * *

Doctor Lauren Lewis had a unique way of working through her anger. And boy, was she feeling pissed off right now. She stared at the target, shaped in the silhouette of a human being, and pictured the Succubus' face right on top. "Make a fool out of me, will you?" She muttered to herself. "We'll see about that."

She pointed the bow toward the ground, and placed the shaft of the arrow on the rest. Using three fingers, she attached the back of the arrow to the string, then raised and drew her bow in one fluid movement. She calculated the distance to the target. Fifty meters. "Steal our loot, will you? Hand it off to the Morrigan so she can show it off around town?" She listened carefully to check if the Central Air was on – it wasn't. There was no wind movement to account for here in the basement of the Ash's Compound. "Embarrass me in front of my team?"

She felt the fletching feathers tickle her cheek. "Well let me ask you something. Do you feel lucky punk?" She narrowed her eyes. "Do ya?" The bare muscles of her upper arms strained. She took a deep breath to settle her movements and then…

…ZING…THWAK! The arrow flew through the air and lodged itself in the target board…

…and missed the head by six inches.

"Oh come ON!" She threw her hands skyward in disgust. Behind her, she heard a slow clap. She turned to see Dyson approaching.

"I've always worried that archery was a dying art. It's good to see that some people are at least _trying_ to keep it alive."

"Typically my aim is more accurate, I assure you." Lauren strode to retrieve the arrow, her footsteps echoing through the empty chamber. She yanked it from the target board, hopped into an 'en-garde' stance and pointed the arrow at Dyson. "I also fence, did you know that?" She took a couple of swings at him, but he dodged easily.

"I've always wondered where got your spectacular muscle definition," Dyson teased

"Hey, these guns don't come for free." She made a muscle and waggled her eyebrows. Dyson simply shook his head. Lauren tossed the arrow at him. "Think you can do better?"

Dyson lazily picked up the bow, strung it, and shot a perfectly aimed arrow right into the cutout's forehead.

"Show off," Lauren muttered.

"Lauren, I was a warrior for at least six of your human lifetimes. I can shoot in my sleep." He pulled an envelope from the pocket of his black leather jacket, and handed it to her. "But I'm not here to show you up, as much as I do enjoy it."

"What's this?"

"An invitation to a reception honoring our new Ash."

Lauren's eyes scanned the elaborate, calligraphic, handwritten card. "But this is being held by the Clan Zamora. It's hosted by Sturgis Santiago, Hale's bigot of a father. Humans won't be welcome here…"

"_You_ will. Special dispensation from the Ash herself."

Lauren leaned back, and looked Dyson up and down. "How did you manage that? I assume it involved boot-licking of some sort."

"There was certainly licking, but I don't recall boots being a part of the equation."

Lauren rolled her eyes skyward and groaned. "You _and_ Hale. I could write an entire dissertation on the voraciousness and eccentricity of Fae libido."

"Go ahead. You could be the Alfred Kinsey of the Fae world."

"It never ceases to amaze me that your kind can live for hundreds of years, yet still display the emotional maturity and social intelligence of thirteen-year-olds."

"The mind reels," Dyson grinned. "Don't you even want to know _why_ we're going?"

"Please, _do_ tell." She smiled sarcastically, and went to retrieve the arrow again. Dyson followed.

"The Llangareth Stone has two siblings…the Orsedd and the Siancyn. According to folklore, whoever holds all three holds the key to incredible power. The Orsedd is currently possessed by Arthur Naia, head of the Cradoc family. He wears it around his neck at all times, and he will be attending this get-together. Trick wants a stone for himself. Badly. And he wants to make sure the Morrigan doesn't get her hands on all three."

Lauren sucked in her breath. "Stealing from a Light Fae elder is a big step up from plundering a museum. Or infiltrating a black market auction. Or digging up antiquities in the Yukon. I'm not so sure about this Dyson."

"Trick's right. If the Morrigan gets her hands on the stones, we'll all be screwed. Think of it as a public service. Anyway, speaking of 'screwed' I haven't told you the best part. Your girlfriend is going to be there."

"Girlfriend?"

"The Succubus from a couple of days ago. Bo. She's on the guest list."

Lauren crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned. "How did she manage that?"

"Succubi have impressive powers of...persuasion. It'll have been quite easy for her. I'm sure she'll be there for the Orsedd, same as us, so we need to be careful. And by _we_ I mean _you_. She already has her hooks in you."

"Does not." Lauren strung her bow and pulled it back, aiming once again for the imaginary Bo face. Dyson put a hand under her elbow, and gently lifted it up a half-inch.

"I know you too well to believe that for a second, Doc. You're infatuated."

In Lauren's mind, the face on the target morphed from Bo to Dyson. She let loose with the arrow, and it lodged itself right where his big fat wolfy mouth would be. She grinned. "Bullseye."


	4. Argue, Flirt, Seduce, Rinse, Repeat

**Chapter Four - Argue, Flirt, Seduce, Rinse, Repeat**

_Five Days Until the Zamora Ball_

"Kenziiiiiiii!" Bo whined as her best friend zipped her into another in a seemingly endless line of ball gowns. They were squeezed into the fitting room stall at a designer shop on Spadina Avenue, they'd been there for over an hour, and Bo's patience had evaporated long, long ago. "Let's just pick one and go. I don't even care anymore."

"BoBo! Fashion is art! You can't rush a masterpiece." Kenzi smoothed out the fabric, trying not to be too jealous of Bo's luscious, luscious curves. "Besides, if I let you go shopping by yourself, you'd show up to this Zamora shindig looking like a hooker. We're going for _sophisticated _sexy, not _sleazy_ sexy."

"Hey."

"Don't get me wrong, no one pulls off sleazy better than you do."

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Wait! I'm sorry!" Bo practically ripped the Donna Karan gown from her body and shoved it in Kenzi's arms. "I'm sorry, okay? You're gorgeous and beautiful and wearing leather in July is totally not ridiculous at _all_…"

Bo glared at her friend as she pulled her jeans over her hips. She was too pissed off at Kenzi to pull on her tank top properly as she kicked the dressing room door open and stormed onto the sales floor.

"Oof!" She hadn't been looking where she was going, and she slammed right into another human being. They fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs, clothing and shopping bags.

"I'm so sorry!" Bo tried to stand, but the hem of her tank top was caught on the other person's belt buckle. Without stopping to consider that she was in public, she pulled her shirt off and reached down to untangle it. Bo felt a powerful burst of excitement rippling from the person – clearly a woman – below her, and she finally looked down at the woman's face.

Lauren bit her cheek to try and focus on something else…anything else…any-frickin'-thing-else…as the Succubus hovered over top of her, shirtless, with a hand on Lauren's belt buckle. Neither of them moved.

"Oh, this is just too damn good," Kenzi whispered to herself. She pulled out her cell and snapped a picture.

Residual anger mixed with stunned disbelief mixed with full body overdrive as Lauren's eyes slid from the Succubus' chest to her face, then back to her chest.

"Hey Doc! She's up here." Kenzi knelt next to Bo and grinned sarcastically. It snapped Lauren out of her daze and she managed to unhook Bo's shirt and wriggle out from underneath her. She quickly stood and adjusted her clothing and hair, trying to be nonchalant, pretending nothing had happened. A three-hundred part harmonic chorus of the word "shit" raced through her mind. She managed a grin, almost a grimace, as Bo pulled the shirt back on and scampered to her feet.

"Why don't you go pay for the dress?" Bo told Kenzi under her breath.

"And miss all the fun?" She looked back and forth between the two women. "Besides, the Doc and I have a few issues to work out," Kenzi said, punching her fist. "Bitch threatened me with my own knife."

Bo grabbed her arm and pulled her aside. "Get your ass over to the cash register and pay for the dress. I'll meet you outside." She squeezed Kenzi's arm, eliciting a pathetic squeak of pain.

"Okay, okay, I'm gone." Kenzi snatched her arm away, and pointed at Lauren. "But don't think this is over, Thundercrotch."

"Thundercrotch?" Lauren tilted her head to the side and watched Kenzi go. Bo helpfully picked up the bags Lauren had dropped.

"Kids these days." Bo shrugged and handed Lauren's purchases back. "I told you we'd see each other soon." Bo had to purse her lips to keep from laughing at the human doctor, who was fighting desperately to keep composure but failing miserably.

"You were right," Lauren said. Her words were icy, but the energy flowing from her was burning like a wildfire. Bo gulped. Holy shitballs this woman was intense.

"I wasn't looking where I was going…"

"Clearly," Lauren replied. Of all the dress shops in all of Toronto, this was the one she decided to come to. What the fuck? In an effort of Herculean proportion, she managed to dial down a couple of notches, from horny to frisky.

Bo noticed the difference, and tried to mask her disappointment. "Look, I just want to say I'm sorry. Not just for knocking you on your butt, but for the other day too, at the museum."

Lauren raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"It was nothing personal," Bo continued. "We were both hired to do a job. I just happened to do mine a little bit better, that's all."

"That's nice." Lauren shook her head and smirked. "Good apology. I'm leaving now."

"Wait, I was just trying to make a joke…" Bo grabbed her arm, with a slap of skin on skin. "Let me make it up to you. Okay? I'll buy you a drink."

Lauren flipped her hair. "Listen. I appreciate that you're making an effort. I really do. But we aren't teammates. You stole from my friends and I, and that makes you the competition. If this were a hockey game, I'd be roughing you, or butt-ending you, or body-checking you into the boards."

"Mmmm….hockey sounds fun." Bo took a step closer, and put a hand on Lauren's waist.

Lauren dropped her head to the floor and bit her lower lip. Her tenuous control had floated off into the ether at the touch of Bo's hand. When she looked back up at the Succubus, a shy grin spread across her face. "Are you always…_on_? Isn't that exhausting?"

"You have no idea, Doctor." Bo leaned in and placed a single, soft kiss on Lauren's neck. Lauren gasped at the feel of Bo's soft lips on her skin. "It's torture." She slid her hands from Lauren's waist to her abs, lifting her shirt just enough to feel bare skin underneath her fingertips. She kneaded the muscles with her thumbs and sent the smallest possible pulse into Lauren's body. Lauren moaned softly in approval, and Bo traced a line of kisses from her neck to her earlobe. She grinned and whispered softly in the Doctor's ear, "Now, how about that drink?"

Lauren opened her mouth to answer, but the moment was destroyed by an ear-splitting, cochlea-puncturing howl from the alarms at the front of the store. Bo looked up in time to see Kenzi's pink wig disappear through the revolving glass doors. "DAMN IT KENZI." Bo growled. She turned to the human with an apologetic smile. "Sorry. To be continued." Bo winked and left to chase after her kleptomaniac roommate.

Lauren felt like she'd been jolted awake in the middle of a dream. She stood, stunned, for what seemed like minutes before she could shake off the feel of Bo's hands on her body. "Shit," she whispered. "Fucking shit." She frowned and shook her head, furious that she'd allowed herself to be manipulated by the Succubus _AGAIN_. "Fucking SHIT!"

* * *

_Four Days Until the Zamora Ball_

Ciara's stomach convulsed and she almost spit her wine onto the table. "She _literally_ fell on top of you?"

"Yes." Lauren polished off a shot of Trick's best tequila and made a sour face. "Literally."

Ciara laughed, a sound that was almost like bells tinkling. "Well, it may have been the first time, but I'm sure it won't be the last."

Lauren pretended to be shocked, and slapped her friend on the thigh. "I never knew fairies had such dirty minds."

"My friend, when you live as long as I do, and you move as fast as I do, the partners pile up and the inhibitions just fall away."

"Ciara," Dyson greeted her with another glass of wine, and sat next to her.

"Heeey, Ciara!" Hale sat down at her other side. "How ya doing?"

Ciara gave Lauren a meaningful look, and Lauren bit her lip to keep from laughing. "I'm fine, guys. Lauren is here too, by the way." The fairy pointed to the doctor.

"Hi," she tilted her head and waved, "you may not have noticed in your drooling over Ciara but yes, there is another person at the table."

"It would seem our Dr. Lewis had an encounter with the Succubus yesterday," Ciara grinned mischievously, and Lauren kicked her shin.

"Oh really?" Hale turned to Lauren, suddenly very interested. "An…encounter?"

Lauren waved it off, but she felt her face getting red. "We just bumped into each other. It was no big deal."

Dyson smirked. "If it's no big deal, why are you blushing?"

Lauren took a deep breath. "I can see why evidence and symptoms may suggest blushing; however the condition I am currently exhibiting is _flushing_ or more accurately 'alcohol flush reaction'. The erythema, or redness, is caused by the accumulation of acetaldehyde, which is a metabolic byproduct of the absorption of alcohol. Research indicates that acetaldehyde accumulation may be caused by a polymorphism in the gene encoding the ADH1B enzyme, which…..why haven't you stopped me by now?"

Hale clapped for her. "That was a brilliant save, Doc. Outstanding save."'

"Thank you." She smiled, bowed slightly, and took another drink. Sometimes it paid to be a nerd. "So Dyson, why did you want us to meet here?"

Dyson placed a folder in the middle of the table, and opened it to the first page. The team leaned in for a closer look. "The Necklace of Harmonia, said to have been forged by Hephaestus, blacksmith of the Greek gods. It allows any who wear it to retain youth and beauty for eternity, but it also brings misfortune and disaster to those he or she loves. Friends, family. Pets."

Lauren looked at the picture. The chain was thick gold, shaped like two intertwined serpents and inlaid with diamonds, rubies, and emeralds. It was a little bit gaudy for her taste. "Why would anyone want this if it brings disaster to the people they care about?"

"If you don't have anyone to love, you don't have anyone to hurt." Dyson shrugged. The declaration was met by a sympathetic 'awwww' from Ciara. "I sent out a few feelers, and we already have three interested parties. That means a bidding war, and big money."

"What do we have to do?" Hale asked.

"The stone is currently owned by Gregory DeWitt."

"As in, DeWitt McCall and Barrowman? The finance company that just went belly up?"

"That's the one. The family declared bankruptcy and they're auctioning off a great deal of their personal belongings. I found the necklace in a catalog of items that are due to be shipped to Sotheby's in London in two days. I did some digging, and right now we know the necklace is being kept in a safe on the thirty-first floor of the JM Commerce Tower downtown, in Gregory DeWitt's office. He's a human, so he has no idea how valuable or dangerous the necklace is."

"So we'd be doing a public service by removing it from the human population." Hale winked, and Dyson nodded.

"I want inside that building. Security codes, access cards, CCTV feeds, guard rotation schedules, blueprints…"

"The works. Not a problem." Lauren nodded confidently. "I'll have it ready by tomorrow morning."

"_What's that_?"

Lauren froze upon hearing what was becoming an all too familiar voice. She felt the Succubus' hand on her shoulder. "Nice jacket," Bo said. "I do love brown leather."

Dyson slammed the folder shut. "What do you want?"

"Relax, I'm not trying to steal information. I just wanted to steal the doctor for a few minutes."

"I don't think so," he growled.

"Hey, dog breath!" Lauren smacked his arm. "I can speak for myself." She looked up at the Succubus, before making a decision and rising from her chair. "Five minutes, tops."

"Great." Bo smiled widely and gestured to a couch in the corner.

Lauren leaned to whisper in Ciara's ear. "If I'm not back in five minutes, come and get me out of there." Lauren turned to get an eyeful of Bo's rear end as she walked away. "You may need to bring a crowbar."

She followed Bo to the couch. Bo sat and patted the seat next to her. Lauren chose a spot a few feet away, and crossed her legs. Lauren knew it was a combative position, a 'you're not getting any of what's in here position'. She was trying to send a statement, but Bo simply laughed.

"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, so let's start over. I'm Bo, I'm unaligned, I travel a lot, and I like giving and receiving back rubs." Bo stuck out her hand.

Lauren looked at the hand like it might come to life and swallow her whole. "No touching," she replied. "I'm not falling for that again."

"Fair enough." Bo pulled her hand away. "Your turn."

"I'm Lauren. Ward of the Light Fae. Doctor, genius. And I don't like games."

"You think this is a game?" Bo asked, genuinely offended.

"You're a succubus. You could have any person in here that you want, but for some reason you picked _me_ to torment. I am probably the only human or Fae in here that would turn you down tonight, you being who you are and looking the way you do. That, to me, screams _game_."

"Ouch. Not gonna lie Doc, that hurt a little bit." Bo leaned back on the sofa. "You're kind of a bitch."

Lauren bit her lip and grinned. She couldn't help it, at the look of indignation Bo gave her. A small flare of attraction rippled from Lauren before she could snatch it back. "You have no idea how intimidating it is, trying to sit here and have a conversation with you."

"I could say the same." Bo scootched closer.

"Oh puh-lease." Lauren rolled her eyes skyward. "What is this, Seduction 101? I expect so much better from you."

"Well soooorrry. I don't usually have to _talk_ my way into someone's pants." Bo reached her hand out to stroke Lauren's cheek, but Lauren pulled back with a grin.

"I said no touching."

Bo dropped her head, brunette hair spilling around her face. She looked up at Lauren and frowned. "I think I just got Doc-blocked."

"Yeah, I think you did. Better get used to it." Lauren placed a finger under Bo's chin, and lifted it until she was staring directly into the succubus' eyes. "Drop your business with the Morrigan. Forget about the Orsedd Stone. And then…maybe…we'll do more than talk." She leaned forward and placed a soft, gentle, barely-there kiss on Bo's lips.

And then, fighting every instinct Doctor Lauren Lewis possessed in her fragile human body, she stood up and walked away from the most attractive creature on the face of the earth. She bit her lip and smiled widely as she practically strutted, _swaggered_, back to her waiting teammates. She gave them a subtle fist pump and did a hip swivel dance as she sat back down next to Dyson. She couldn't keep the smile off her face for the rest of the night, feeding off of the thought that she, Badass Lauren Lewis, had finally won a round against the Succubus.

Bo watched her walk away, frustrated and annoyed and more turned on than she'd ever been in her entire life. She'd never had to pursue anyone, ever. No one had ever turned her down. Bo licked her lips. "Oh, it's on. It is sooooo on."


	5. Stalker Etiquette

**Chapter Five – Stalker Etiquette **

_Three Days Until the Zamora Ball_

Lauren's three inch heels click-clacked as she strode confidently across the marble floor of the JM Commerce Tower lobby. She smoothed the fine red hairs of her wig, straightened her glasses, adjusted her Bluetooth, and pulled her best 'disapproving librarian face' as she reached the front desk. The overnight guard looked at her and froze, his cheeseburger dripping ketchup as it hovered halfway between the counter and his mouth.

"Diane Bloom, Canada Revenue Agency Criminal Investigations Division." Lauren held up a badge with her picture before pulling it back down. "Under section 36B heading Z24X9 of the Tax Code and under the authority of CRA Deputy Commissioner Elise Kohn I require access to security footage of the DeWitt, McCall and Barrowman offices for the past 72 hours as part of an ongoing investigation into suspicion of tax evasion and misappropriation of funds. Will you comply?"

"Uhhh…" The guard stared at her, and a glob of mustard joined the ketchup on the counter.

Lauren glared condescendingly at his badge. "Mister James Tucker. Failure to comply with this request may be construed as collusion in violation of federal tax laws and may result in fines and jail time up to ten years. I ask again, will you comply?" Lauren took off her glasses and stared daggers through his skull.

"I'll need to contact my supervisor…"

"Is your supervisor Bryce Rupp of 3696 Huntington Way Toronto Ontario Canada?"

"…Yes?"

Lauren handed him her cell phone. "I have him on speed dial."

The guard checked to make sure that the phone number was correct, and hit 'Call'. Outside and across the street, Dyson looked at his phone. "Damn Lauren, you're good." He paused to get into character, and answered the phone. "This is Rupp," he grunted. "Tucker? What the hell are you doing calling me at this hour, I was screwing my wife!"

Dyson's voice was so loud that Lauren could hear it through the handset. She tried not to laugh at the verbal assault James Tucker was getting from his 'boss'. Out of the corner of her eye, she located the security cameras, eight in all. Behind the front desk was a locked door leading to the main security center for the entire building.

"Yes sir. No sir, I didn't get the message. Ye-yes sir. I'm sorry sir." The guard, now plainly terrified, hung up the phone. "So sorry for the trouble ma'am."

Lauren gestured to the locked door. "Security footage. Now." She circled around the desk and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for Tucker to punch in his code. The guard's hands shook as he opened the door and stepped aside to let her in.

* * *

"Gee, I'd love to know why I'm sitting in a junker car in downtown Toronto at two a.m. staring aimlessly at the front of a building I've never been to before." Kenzi put her feet up on the dash and pouted. "Oh wait, I do know! It's because my bestie is a stalker, and I have no life."

"You invited yourself, as I recall." Bo peered through a set of binoculars at JM Tower doors. "And this isn't stalking. We're scouting the competition."

"We're 'scouting' Lauren. You're a stalker."

"I'm not! I'm just interested, that's all."

"That's the same thing my cousin Elena said right before she started sending naked pictures to Lucy Lawless. It's a slippery slope."

Bo turned slowly to stare at Kenzi. "I'm so glad I've never met your family."

* * *

"Here it is," Tucker sat at the console and pulled up a set of video files on the secure JM Tower database. Lauren leaned over his shoulder for a closer look; her glasses slipped down her nose and she pushed them back up in the nerdiest possible way.

"Great." She set her briefcase on the table behind him, and opened it. She pulled a hypodermic needle from a case, tapped it with her finger and squirted a bit to get rid of the air bubbles. "I appreciate your cooperation in this manner." Lauren plunged the needle into the guard's neck. She grabbed him under the arms as he slowly slid off of his chair and onto the floor.

"Don't worry, this is only an anesthetic mixture of Lorazepam and the residual dust from a particularly allergenic Sandman. You won't remember a thing tomorrow, but you'll have the best dreams of your life. Sleep tight." She smiled kindly as Tucker sluggishly closed his eyes and almost immediately began to snore.

Lauren grabbed her laptop and a pair of wire cutters, and used a stray network cable to hack into the security mainframe. She'd already gone fishing for passcodes earlier in the day, so now it was just a matter of navigating through the clutter. It took only three minutes for her to find what she wanted. "Bingo." She licked her lips excitedly, and turned on her earpiece.

"Okay Dyson, I'm in the system and I'm looping the security camera feeds…now." She hit a button, and the recordings on the cameras looped seamlessly back thirty seconds. They would continue showing the same footage of empty hallways for as long as the team needed to get in and out. She pulled up a set of schematics where five glowing dots were all huddled in the same place. "There are five guards, all of them are on the top floor of the building, and it doesn't look like they're going anywhere anytime soon. You're cleared for takeoff."

Lauren leaned back in the chair to admire her work, as Dyson, Ciara and Hale entered the building and made their way up to the 31st floor. She took off her wig and glasses. Playing dress up, she decided, was a freakin' blast.

* * *

Bo watched the three Fae as they ran into the building. "There they go," she muttered to herself.

"Who do you think would win in a fight between a morragh and a dullahan?" Kenzi wondered, absentmindedly flinging birds at blocks on her phone.

"A morragh." Bo answered. "They have more teeth."

"Do you think gemini would literally bite each other's heads off if they were PMS-ing at the same time?"

"I don't know, Kenzi."

"If you made shoes out of a selkie pelt could you walk on water?"

"Kenz…"

"If a mesmer, an albaster, and a redcap walked into a bar…"

Bo gave an exasperated sigh. Kenzi put her phone away and grinned. "Kidding, kidding." She looked past Bo, toward the building. "If two goblins appeared in the middle of the street…"

"KENZI."

"No, I'm serious." She pointed out the window. "Two goblins. In the street."

"Oh shit," Bo whispered, as she watched the two Under Fae open the front doors of the JM Tower. "What the hell are they doing here?"

Kenzi shrugged. "Maybe they're after the same thing the Doc Squad is after. Maybe they'll wipe 'em out and the Orsedd Stone will be all ours, mwaahahaha."

"Move," Bo pushed Kenzi back in the seat so she could crawl over and escape out of the passenger side door. She tripped on the seat belt and almost fell face first on the pavement. "Damn busted car," she muttered.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't _not_ do anything; they don't know those freaks are coming!"

"Who cares, it's not our problem!"

"It's…stalker etiquette!" Bo frowned. "Just stay here. I mean it! Stay in the car, I'm going to…"

"Protect your loooovah, I get it, whatevs. Tell the Doc I said hiiiiii," Kenzi trilled, as Bo ran to check things out.

* * *

Lauren heard a crash from the lobby. She sat up straight. "Dyson, where are you?"

"We're in the office. Hale's trying to open the safe. Why?"

"No reason." Lauren checked her computer – all the guards were still on the top floor. She slowly stood, and opened her briefcase. She pulled out two more syringes of sleepy time injections, one for each hand, and squatted low to avoid being seen as she left the security center and ducked behind the lobby desk.

She could hear two sets of feet walking around, and judging from the gait and shuffle they almost certainly weren't human. She inched her body higher, to try to get a glimpse of what she was up against.

She found herself face to face with a putrid, sneering goblin.

"Shit!" Lauren shouted as, reflexively, she swung her arm around and punched the creature in his jutting jaw. It stunned him long enough for her to plunge the needle deep into his arm. He slid to the ground, unconscious.

Lauren looked up to see the other Under Fae. He was still twenty feet away. She grasped the other needle in her right hand and held it high. She waved him forward. "Bring it." He sprinted toward her like a linebacker, but five feet away his body shimmered and disappeared. "What the…OOOF" Her breath was forced from her lungs as the goblin reappeared on her right side and body slammed her into the ground. He climbed on top of her and wrapped a hand around her throat. Lauren clawed desperately at his scaly skin, but he was locked tight, cutting of her airway. Just before Lauren lost consciousness, she noticed a familiar pair of boots heading her way.

"Hey, hogface! No one tops the Doctor but me." Bo sliced the goblin with her knife and he slid to the floor next to Lauren, twitching once before falling still.

Lauren stood, chest heaving, desperately trying to get her breath back. She looked down at the dead goblin, and back up at Bo. "You just saved my life." Bo calmly put her knife back in her belt and cracked her neck. Lauren watched the Succubus and felt an intoxicating mix of craving and rage. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Wow, that's not the reaction I was expecting." Bo indignantly put a hand on her hip. "Maybe a, 'hey you're the greatest Bo' or 'thanks for risking your neck to help me Bo' or 'th..'"

Bo's words muted on her lips as Lauren assaulted her with a passionate, ferocious, almost primal kiss. Lauren's hands slid up the nape of Bo's neck and tangled in brunette hair as she pulled her forward, to force the kiss even deeper, almost like she was trying to consume the succubus with everything she had. Bo responded, grinding her hips into the Doctor, until she was forcibly pushed away.

Lauren took a few steps backward and leaned against the security desk to calm her racing heartbeat. She ran a hand through her hair and stared at Bo. "Thank you," she finally said, in a tone that sounded more like "fuck off".

"You're…welcome?" Bo stood, stunned. She was taken aback that she'd just been out-passioned, then dissed and dismissed, by the Doctor.

Lauren's glare never wavered, even though Bo could feel pulses of heat radiating from her with every beat of her heart. "How did you know we would be…_why are you here_?" She asked.

"I…uh…." Bo stammered. She couldn't exactly admit that she'd been Doc-stalking. "I was out for a jog."

Lauren's eyes slid down to Bo's boots, then up to her leather pants and halter top. She raised an amused eyebrow. "Really?"

Bo slid her tongue across her teeth and curled her lip. Who did this woman think she was? Bo's shock morphed into irritation, and she took an aggressive step forward. "You know what? It's none of your damn business why I'm here. It's a free country. I can be wherever I want to be."

Lauren stood up straight, and scoffed. "Cut the crap, Bo. You're here so you can suck my team dry and snatch the necklace the second we walk out the door."

Bo felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She took another step forward. "You don't have to worry about that Doc because _I just lost my appetite_."

"Yeah, I bet you did." Lauren rolled her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You told me yourself that you can't turn off your hunger."

"Well, I find some people…_distasteful_. Like liver and onions, or black licorice."

"So I'm liver and onions, to you?" Lauren stepped closer.

Bo stuck her chin out. "Yeah. You are!"

Lauren lowered her head, caught her bottom lip between her teeth and glared lustily at Bo through thick eyelashes.

"What's happening here?" Bo asked, nervously.

Lauren didn't answer. She stared at the woman in front of her, memorizing every curve and contour of her body. Then she closed her eyes, and finally allowed herself to fully imagine the things she wanted to do with Bo – she allowed herself to feel Bo's hands all over her body, to feel Bo's tongue caressing her inner thigh, plotting a course up and up until…

"Not cool!" Bo growled, huskily, almost blown away by the sudden, colossal arousal pulsating from Lauren. Lauren allowed her desire for the succubus to roll over her, embracing it, not holding anything back. She took another step forward. "Stop!" Bo warned.

Lauren slowly opened her eyes, grinned wickedly, and shook her head 'no'.

"You don't know what you're doing." Bo balled her hands into fists and squeezed, to try and maintain control. She was losing it, rapidly.

"On the contrary, I know _exactly_ what I'm doing." Lauren had all the power; she held all the cards. A succubus wasn't the only one who could use sex as a weapon. Lauren slid her hand across her stomach, slowly, languorously inching down until her ring and index finger slipped, just barely, under her panties.

Bo pounced. She crossed the distance between them in a heartbeat, wrapped her arms around Lauren's thighs and lifted her onto the security desk, planting urgent kisses on her lips, neck, arms, any bit of bare skin she could find. Lauren came alive underneath her, wrapping her legs around Bo's hips and pulling her in tighter. Bo grabbed each side of Lauren's collar and pulled, scattering buttons all over the floor and opening up brand new areas of skin to explore. Lauren threw her head back and moaned a Bo massaged her breasts through the fabric of her black lace bra.

"Lauren? Lauren, are you there?" Ciara's voice rang through Lauren's earpiece.

Lauren forced herself to rip her arms away from Bo and click the talk button. "Yeah, I'm he-_ere_," she tried to disguise the whimper and urgency in her voice.

"We have the necklace and we're on our way back down to you."

"Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," Lauren moaned as Bo slid her hand under her bra.

"…...um, Lauren?" Ciara asked.

"Yeah. Yes. Sorry. Yeah, I'm here. I'll see you in a minute." She grabbed Bo's face and kissed her, long, hard, and wet, before pulling back. "You have to go."

"What?" Bo growled.

"Dyson, Ciara and Hale are coming back down. They can't see you here, you have to go." Lauren pulled her jacket shut so they wouldn't notice her ripped shirt.

"You're kidding?" Bo stepped back, fuming. Lauren shook her head. "Well if this isn't the bullshit of all bullshits."

"To be continued." Lauren gave her a peck on the cheek, then ran back into the security center to collect her equipment.

Bo was left to take the walk of shame, alone, back to her car. "Unbelievable. Un-frickin'-believable," she muttered to herself at least fifteen times along the way.

* * *

"Dang girl, look at this mess!" Hale rolled the dead goblin onto his back.

"What did you want me to do, let them swallow me whole?" Lauren asked.

"If it's cleaner!"

Ciara stepped between them. "Is there someone we can call to take care of this?"

"Yeah, I have a dude on a Fae cleanup crew that owes me a favor. We use them for police gigs. But we'll need to pay big time to keep them quiet, and that's gonna eat into our profits." Hale shook his head. "Damn girl, you couldn't just strangle the guy. You had to spill blood everywhere."

Lauren flipped him off.

"Oh, looks like you have a little bit of blood on your sleeve just there," Ciara pointed out.

Lauren frowned. It was her favorite jacket. "Look, you three can handle the this right? I need to go home and take a shower."

"Sure," Dyson patted her shoulder. "Take the rest of the night. You're lucky to be alive, you know. One human, two Fae."

"Yeah, I know." Lauren left her three teammates in the lobby and walked out into the chilly night air. She definitely needed a shower. A cold, cold, _cold_ shower.


	6. Brown Eyed Girls

**Chapter Six – Brown Eyed Girls**

_Two Days until the Zamora Ball_

The dulcet tones of a sitar drew a confused Kenzi to the Clubhouse basement. She walked downstairs to see Bo, sitting on a cushion in the middle of the room, surrounded by approximately nine thousand tealight candles – a fire hazard if there ever was one. The mellow music twanged from the CD player in the corner. "WHAT is going on in here?" She yawned and took a sip of coffee. "Did I die and go to Tibet?"

Bo breathed deeply in and out before answering. "Last night I polished off a convenience store clerk, some guy at a 24 hour burger joint, _and_ an off duty cop. And I'm _still_ hungry. So I'm trying something different."

"Auto-erotic asphyxiation by scented candle smoke?"

Bo kept her eyes closed, palms pressed firmly together. "No, knob. If I'm still hungry, that means I'm not getting enough chi from my…encounters. And I can't exactly suck people dry. So I'm opening myself up to higher levels of sexual ecstasy through Tantric meditation."

Kenzi did a spit take, and a small droplet of coffee landed on Bo's face. She slowly opened an eyelid to glare at Kenzi, and wiped it off.

"Oh honey," Kenzi came over and gave Bo a big hug. "Dr. Hotchacha has you _aaaallll_ messed up in the head, doesn't she?"

"It's not about Lauren."

"Off cooooourse it isn't." Kenzi mussed Bo's hair, and sat on the floor next to her. "So is the meditation working, at least?"

"No." Bo's shoulders slumped forward, and she pouted. She grabbed the mug from Kenzi. "Have you ever had someone use your own power used against you?"

"I got pickpocketed on the subway once. Does that count?"

"Sort of." Bo took a sip of coffee. "She knew I was hot for it even though I said I wasn't, and she used it to mess with me. I got _played_."

"Bout time you got a taste of your own medicine, miss red-glowy-touchy-feely-sexy-times," Kenzi teased.

Bo narrowed her eyes. "She's good. Too good. 'I don't like games', my ass."

"Not that I'm condoning you know, felonious assault, but you could just go over there and do your sexy Succubus lady love thing. Get it over with so I don't have to keep hearing about it."

"No way. That would mean she won, and I'm _not_ giving her the satisfaction," Bo scoffed. "If she wants it, she's going to be the one that makes the first move, not me. And I," Bo gave an evil grin, "am going to make it impossible for her to resist."

"So then you can lord it over her for all eternity? Like elementary school playground style 'nyah nyah nyah'?"

"Exactly."

Kenzi rolled her eyes. "Now _that_ is the stuff that healthy relationships are made of."

* * *

Lauren grinned through the entire workday. She grinned while taking blood samples from an angry ogre with inflammatory bowel disease. She grinned while cataloguing exotic mold spores collected from the apartment of a banshee with a hoarding problem. She grinned while on a house call to a fury complaining of migraines and ringing ears. In short, she was on top of the world.

She spun on the stool in front of her microscope and whistled the tune 'Brown Eyed Girl', tapping out the rhythm on her clipboard. Her lab assistant Moira, a harpy, gave her the evil eye. Lauren just grinned back, not caring that her co-workers probably thought she was crazy or high on a new experimental Fae drug.

It had been worth it, giving herself a massive case of blue vag, just to see the look on Bo's face when she was _denied_. **DENIED**. The thought that she could have that kind of control over Bo, a succubus, was exhilarating and painfully titillating at the same time. If you can out-lust a Succubus then you've done a damn good day's work.

It made her feel all warm and tingly.

"Someone's in a good mood today." Dyson walked into the lab and sat on the stool across from her. "Especially considering you nearly died last night."

"Psssshhh. Two goblins? Not a problem," Lauren grinned. She couldn't help it. Dyson could tell her that the city was being overrun by rabid djieiene and it wouldn't make a difference.

Dyson leaned forward. "Here's what I don't understand. The second goblin had a deep gash along his throat. And all you had was a needle to defend yourself."

Lauren leaned forward to join him at the center of the table. "I have very strong fingernails." She made a claw and swiped at the air, grinning like an idiot.

"Uh huh." Dyson grunted. His cellphone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He read the text message and frowned.

"Something strange…in the fae-borhood?"

Dyson looked at her, mouth agape, before doing a facepalm and shaking his head.

Lauren stifled a laugh. "I've wanted to use that line for six years…"

"And today was the day, and I was the victim? Gee, I'm flattered."

"I am immune to your sarcasm. And I regret nothing."

Dyson smirked and held up his phone. "That was Hale. We just caught a break in our homicide case, so we'll be working at the station late tonight. Can I ask a favor?"

"Of course."

"I'm supposed to meet a courier at the Dal tonight to hand off the necklace. We already have payment from the buyer. The meeting is at 9:15 sharp, in the back, west corner near the unicorn statue. Can you go in my place?"

"Do I get commission for this?"

"Order yourself a couple of drinks and put it on my tab, then we'll call it even."

"Deal." Lauren shook his hand.

* * *

Bo checked herself out in her bedroom mirror. Her leather short-shorts clung to her like they'd been painted on, accentuating the natural musculature and firmness perfectly. "Bo Dennis, gives good ass," she winked and pointed at her reflection. "Vogue."

"Were you planning to put pants on, or should I call the hospital and have them save a couple dozen beds for Succubus drive-by victims?" Kenzi walked in, munching on a slice of pizza.

"What are you talking about?" Bo flipped her hair over her bare shoulders and straightened her black tube top.

"Anyone dressing like that is looking to get laid. And with you these days it's like potato chips…bet you can't eat just one."

Bo made a face, but didn't say anything.

"So, where ya goin'?"

Bo zipped up one boot, then another. "The Dal."

"You…hoping to run into someone? A certain…brown-eyed girl?"

"Maybe."

"Well babe, if she can resist you wearing _that_ you're just barking up a very wrong, very heterosexual tree."

* * *

Lauren was still in a great mood that night. She got to the Dal early, to give herself time for a drink and some conversation – although Trick was still pouting about losing the Llangareth Stone. She stood next to the unicorn statue, and dipped her hand into the pocket of her blue leather jacket to make sure the necklace was still there. She had the bad luck charm safely wrapped in a handkerchief, just in case merely touching it caused Ciara to fall down the stairs or Dyson to spontaneously combust. She heard footsteps coming her way.

"Oi! Sweetheart! Make with the merchandise, I haven't got all day."

Lauren almost spit out her beer. "Vex? _You're _the courier? My my, how the mighty have fallen." She looked him up and down and tried not to laugh. The mesmer looked the same as she'd seen him last; dog collar, greasy hair, pirate beard, guyliner. Lauren didn't know the specifics, but she knew he'd had a falling out with the Morrigan – again, and that he was no longer the favored hit man of the Dark Fae.

"_You're_ still a pain in my arse. That hasn't changed." Vex gave her a smile, which on his face looked more like a smarmy grimace. "How long has it been, then?"

"Let me think." Lauren tapped her chin with her finger. "Two months? The last time we saw each other, I had my hand at my throat and was about to strangle myself to death."

"Not to death. Catatonia perhaps, but not death." Vex smirked.

Lauren tilted her head to the side. "You know, I always thought that if you shaved your beard and put on a little makeup, you'd be a carbon copy of that guy from The Cure."

"Bollocks. I'm more the Russell Brand type, love. Besides, I _invented _gothic. Where do you suppose Bram Stoker got his inspiration for Dracula? Not Vlad the Impaler – I knew him, and he was a self-aggrandizing twat. Now," Vex twirled a finger and Lauren found her hand moving at his command, "time to hand over the package. Where oh where could it be?"

Lauren felt her hand slide down into her back pocket. Vex grinned and flicked his finger up and down, forcing Lauren to rub her own ass. She put up with about two seconds of this before rearing back and kneeing him full force in the crotch.

"Holymotherfucking-bloodybastard-sackoffuck." Vex slid to the ground, grabbing his crotch with tears streaming from his eyes. Lauren pulled the handkerchief from her pocket and tossed it on the floor next to his writhing body.

"It was nice to see you again. Good luck in your new job." Lauren winked, then turned and walked away. Her body jolted involuntarily as she spotted Bo, sitting on a barstool, staring at her with what could only be described as 'rip-my-clothes-off-and-do-me-now' eyes. Lauren's gaze dropped down, as Bo slowly uncrossed and crossed her legs in a pair of shorts that shouldn't even be legal in public. Lauren felt a familiar churning in her nether regions, but somewhere in her rational cognitive regions it occurred to her that Bo was putting on this show for her benefit. Bo was baiting the trap.

Bo watched as Lauren ran a hand through her hair, and sauntered over with an impossible amount of hip swagger. Her breath hitched in her chest as Lauren leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Nice outfit." Before Bo could respond, Lauren was gone, hip swaggering right out the door of the Dal and into the street.

Lauren hailed a taxi, her grin so wide she feared for cheek muscle sprains.

Bo sat at the bar, mouth wide open in shock. "Nice outfit? That's it?" She hissed to herself. Vex limped by, holding his junk, still in tears. "Buddy," Bo patted him on the back, "I know exactly how you feel."


	7. Anticipation and Buttons

**Chapter Eight – Anticipation and Buttons**

_One Day Until the Zamora Ball_

"Welcome to Casa de Lewis." Lauren stepped aside to let Ciara in.

"Am I late?"

"No, early. Hale and Dyson are at a crime scene. They should be another half an hour or so."

"I can't believe I haven't been here before." Ciara removed her Louis Vuitton jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. She stepped into the living room, and scanned her surroundings. Her eyes stopped on a choice piece of artwork.

"Lauren," she began, "Are you aware that there is a rather large painting of a rather naked woman hanging from your wall?"

"Oh that? That's Lucy. I bought her at a fine art auction after we dug up the Agrinion Urn this past winter." Lauren poured two glasses of water and handed one to Ciara. "I hold the female form in very high esteem."

"She's…lovely." Ciara smiled, and they sat down on the couch. "And what's that, then?" She pointed at a digital screen covered with tiny letters.

Lauren leaned forward, and her hands shook with excitement as she spoke. "Ooooh! I'm glad you asked. I'm mapping the genetic sequence of a keukegen. It's a fascinating creature – a Japanese water spirit that lives in damp, dark places and causes sickness in both human and Fae. I believe that by altering the chromosome structure of a specific gene, the creature can be rendered harmless, although that's only a hypothesis at this stage. I have one in the corner there, if you'd like to see."

Ciara peered over at a glass tank, where a creature that looked like a yellow and green Koosh ball shuffled back and forth. "This is a Fae that causes disease?"

"Yes."

"And you keep it in your apartment?"

"Yeah…I occasionally take my work home with me. It's a psychological problem. I might be mildly obsessive compulsive." Lauren waved at the creature, who responded by flinging itself at the glass and growling.

"I'm in the same predicament. Multi-national corporations simply refuse to run themselves."

"Ah yes, the perils of being a billionaire," Lauren teased. "I don't understand why you risk your reputation and your neck slumming around with us commoners looking for artifacts to sell."

"Honestly? It's fun to be bad." Ciara grinned mischievously.

"Cheers to that." They clinked water glasses.

"Speaking of 'bad', any sign of your succubus friend?"

Lauren looked down at her hands. "We've bumped into each other once or twice."

"Bumped? Is that a euphemism for something?"

"Let's just say it's been an interesting week." Lauren chuckled.

"You naughty, naughty thing!"

Lauren winked. "Like you said…it's fun to be bad."

They heard a knock on the door. "It's us!" Dyson's voice rang out.

"It's open!" Lauren replied. The two remaining team members strode in. Dyson went straight for the fridge and grabbed two beers like he owned the place. He dug the bottle opener from the left kitchen drawer, popped the tops and handed Hale a beer.

"I thought you were at a crime scene," Lauren said.

Hale plopped on the couch next to her. "Turns out our arsonist was a Will-o'-the-Wisp who had bean burritos for lunch. We de-contaminated the area and swept the whole thing under the rug." Hale stared up at Lucy. "Man, I always loved that painting."

"Hey!" Lauren slapped his leg. "Stop ogling. That's art, not Playboy."

"Potato, potahto." Hale shrugged.

Dyson collapsed into Lauren's art deco lounge chair. She winced, waiting for it to snap and send him sprawling on the floor. It creaked, but stayed intact. Wood Elf craftsmanship. Can't beat it. "So," he took a deep swig of beer. "The Zamora Ball. Let's talk strategy. Ciara?"

"Right. The Orsedd Stone is owned by Arthur Naia, head of the Cradoc family of the Clan Zamora. Naia came into possession of the stone after winning a bet against a rather unintelligent Valkyrie, on the outcome of last year's Stanley Cup final. Naia is a Luck Fae you see, and for someone to bet against him is true stupidity. He wears the stone at all times; it's inlaid in a gold necklace. I have met him on three occasions. He is a pompous, privileged wanker."

Lauren choked on her water, and the others shot her dirty looks. "Sorry…swear words just sound so strange coming out of your mouth. Keep going."

"Naia is obsessed with three things. Money, women, and his yacht. I just so happen to be a woman with lots of money and two yachts. As such, I believe our best play is for me to ply him with drinks and conversation all evening, and once he's inebriated, lure him away with the suggestion of something a bit more…intimate."

"I can get you access to the wine cellar," Hale jumped in. "My father has a secret room down there no one is supposed to know about…not even me."

"Perfect," Dyson said. "We lure him downstairs. Lauren, do you have any more of those sleepy time injections we used at the JM Tower?"

"I do."

"Good," Dyson nodded. "So, Ciara injects him with Lauren's drug, swipes the stone. We dump Naia's body outside in the bushes; he wakes up the next day thinking he blacked out from alcohol. He doesn't remember anything, and the necklace is gone. No one will suspect Ciara; a billionaire Fairy Queen who could have easily just bought the damn thing. Being cops, we can deflect any witnesses or evidence that hits too close to home. Naia is incredibly unpopular, so no one is going to have his back. The most dangerous part will be getting him out of the cellar without being seen."

"You forget you have a siren on the team." Hale winked. "If anyone comes near us when we're transporting the body, I'll just give a little whistle and send 'em on their way."

"What about security?" Dyson asked.

"Guards at all the entrances and exits. No security cameras. For big events like this, my father hires a Boraro to set a barrier around the mansion perimeter, to keep unwanted guests out. It's like a mystical bouncer…literally. If you aren't on the guest list and you touch the barrier, that sucker'll send you flying ten yards in the opposite direction. It's fun to watch," Hale grinned.

"How many people on the guest list?" Lauren asked.

"At least five hundred. There's nothing my dad likes more than showing off his little girl."

"What about the Succubus?" Ciara wondered.

Dyson rubbed his wolfy beard. "We keep a close eye on her all night. As far as we know, she's working alone. If we never let her out of our sight, we should be fine."

"Surely it won't be _that_ simple."

Lauren cleared her throat. "Ciara's right. She's not stupid – she'll have a plan going into this. Maybe if we removed her from the equation beforehand…"

"What, like _kill _her?" Hale asked, shocked.

"No! Of course I don't mean kill her, you ass." Lauren shook her head at her teammate. "I just mean try and talk her out of it. Reason with her. Appeal to her…better nature." Lauren grinned.

"You think that will work?" Dyson raised an eyebrow.

"No. But it couldn't hurt to try, right?"

* * *

"Yoink!" Kenzi grabbed the magazine out of Bo's hands. "What ya readin'?" She scanned the page. "The Maxim Guide to Hitting on Girls…" Kenzi turned to the cover, horrorstruck. "You're reading _Maxim_ for flirting tips? Good god woman, what's wrong with you?" She smacked Bo over the head with the magazine.

"Ow! It's just research."

"Yeah, this? Is pathetic." Kenzi tossed the magazine in the trash. "I'm revoking your Succubus card."

` "You're _what _now?"

"I'm serious. Your skimpy-clothed luscious-lipped ancestors would disown you for this. It's my sacred duty to tell you you've hit rock bottom, chicka. _Maxim_ magazine," Kenzi muttered, sitting on the couch next to Bo.

"It's not my fault, okay? I control people by touch and Lauren controls people by…eye sex. Is that a Fae superpower? Eye sex? Are we sure she's human?"

"I don't know, let me consult my big book of 'I Don't Give a Crap'."

"Is that like Wikipedia?"

"Look. Bo." Kenzi grabbed Bo's face between her palms. "You come from a long line of sex bombs. Use your instincts, do what comes natural, and get the girl already."

"Mmm." Bo frowned.

There was a knock at the door, and Bo grabbed the closest weapon she could find – a frying pan. She stood next to the door, back to the wall. Kenzi hid behind the couch and strung a rubber band, ready to defend their castle with office supplies.

"Who is it?" Bo gripped the frying pan handle.

"Dew Drop Flower Shop. I have a delivery for a…SuccuBo?"

"SuccuBo?" Bo mouthed to Kenzi.

"Flowers?" Kenzi mouthed back.

Bo turned the knob and opened the door a couple of inches. The delivery man's face was hidden behind a bouquet of multicolored tulips. A hand poked out from behind the flowers, holding a pen and tablet. "Sign here please." Bo signed, and the delivery man handed off the flower arrangement. "Is your name really Succubo?"

"Yes. Jo Succubo. Of the Chicago Succubos. Have a nice day." She closed the door in his face, and set the tulips on the kitchen counter. "Who do you think sent this?"

"Who knew the clubhouse even had an address?" Kenzi poked at the flowers. "I thought we were living off the grid like hippies. Or some creepy cult."

"We have power though. And heat. And cable. And water. Someone must know we're here."

"Good point. But who? We don't get utility bills."

"Don't know. It's a mystery." Bo shrugged. She spotted a white envelope amid all the pink, and pulled it out.

"Double yoink!" Kenzi grabbed the card and opened it. In as good a sexy voice as Kenzi could manage, she read: "Bo, meet me at the Dal for drinks at 9. Lauren." Kenzi looked at Bo and grinned. "She luuuuuurves you, she wants to kiiiiiisss you, she wants to fuuuuu…."

"Give me that!" Bo snatched the card away to read for herself. "What's her play? What's she up to?"

"Flowers, drinks? Sounds like a date, duh." Kenzi knocked on Bo's head.

"A date?"

"Yeah, you know. Awkward conversation. Sweaty hand holding. That moment where you're standing on your front steps at the end of the night and he's trying to decide if he wants to kiss you but all you want to do is sit on your couch and eat ice cream and watch Jungle Jeeves by yourself. And then he kisses you anyway, and it's too wet and it feels like he's trying to eat your face off, and you just want it to be over. And then he asks if he can come up, and you say no, so then he says he'll call. And you're really, really hoping he doesn't call."

Bo looked at her friend, not sure how to respond. She finally settled on "Wow."

"Yeah…I haven't had much luck with dating."

Bo held up the card. "I don't trust this."

"But you're still gonna go, right?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Hell-to-the-yes! Go have some beers. Play doctor. 'Cause let's be real, no matter which one of you loses, you're both gonna win. Am I right?" Kenzi thrust her hips, humping the air. "Am I right? I'm totally right."

Bo rolled her eyes and gave Kenzi a friendly shove, sending her tumbling over the back of the couch.

* * *

Bo paced back and forth in the dark alley next to the Dal. "You are a supernaturally sexual creature, you are in control," she told herself. "You are in control." She repeated it like a mantra, and her heels clicking on the cobblestones provided the backbeat. "You are in control." She looked at her watch. 8:59. She couldn't go in now, because walking it at exactly nine would make her look like a dork. She paced some more. "_You are in control_."

Lauren sat at the bar and looked at the clock, wondering if Bo would have the cojones to show up. For as much confidence as Lauren had, there's no doubt that Bo made her nervous. Lauren was massively attracted to the Succubus, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide it. She just had to be able to control it for a while. The animalistic kiss she gave Bo, after Bo saved her life, had been absolutely unplanned and totally real. It could easily happen again. "You are in control," she whispered to herself. She buttoned up her shirt and took a shot of tequila for some liquid courage.

Bo took a deep breath and walked into the Dal. She didn't see Lauren at first, but she could feel her there. By now Bo was so tuned in to Lauren she could pick her out in a packed baseball stadium. A group of cackling Huldra moved out of the way, and Bo had a clear view to the bar. Lauren sat, facing Trick's lineup of Fae liquors, her blonde hair streaming down her back in waves. She was wearing a simple, black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and skinny jeans – completely practical but oh-so-sexy. Bo licked her lips. With one more, "you are in control", she stepped further into the half-empty pub.

Lauren knew she was being watched. She knew who was doing the watching. She felt goose bumps prickling on her arms, and hoped Bo wouldn't notice. Bo sidled up behind her. Lauren knew she was there, but didn't acknowledge the Succubus until she heard Bo say "Hey."

Lauren spun around on her stool, and placed an elbow on the bar. Before she could stop herself, she looked Bo up and down. Her eyes rested, ever so briefly, on Bo's cleavage – Bo knew how to pick her clothes to accentuate her assets, that was for damn sure. The vest she had on tonight was a particularly strong choice. Lauren smiled. "Hey. You came."

Bo could feel the heat from Lauren rise. Her aura was different tonight – still strong, but more of a slow burn, like white hot embers. "You sound surprised."

"Well I wasn't sure you'd show." She flipped her hair. "I've never been stood up before, but there's a first time for everything. Drinks?"

"Wine?"

Lauren turned to Trick's assistant barkeep. "A bottle of your best red wine and two glasses." She reached into her purse to pull out some cash, but Bo beat her to it, throwing some bills down on the bar.

"I've got this," she said.

"Thanks." Lauren replied with a sideways grin. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them again, and Bo felt her heart skip a beat. The bartender set their drinks on the table. Lauren grabbed the glasses in one hand, the bottle in the other. Bo watched her expert fingers at work. "Couch?" Lauren asked.

"After you," Bo said. Lauren stood, and Bo placed a hand on the small of her back, leading her toward their spot in the corner. Lauren gulped, and Bo felt a fresh spike of energy from the human. 'Round one, to the Succubus', Bo thought to herself, grinning.

They sat on opposite ends of the loveseat. Lauren sat with her back to the rest of the pub, with one leg tucked up under the other. Bo sat butterfly style. They stared at each other for a few beats before Lauren finally spoke.

"Why were you at the JM Tower the other night? The truth would be nice."

"I was spying. I wanted to see how you…your team operates. I couldn't care less about the necklace." Bo hoped Lauren hadn't caught her stutter.

Lauren smirked. "And what did you find out?"

"That I have nothing to worry about. You guys are amateurs."

"Ouch." Lauren clutched her chest. "Though admittedly, you haven't seen us on our best days. Typically we hum and purr like a well…oiled…machine." Bo's heart thumped in her chest, and Lauren took a sip of wine. "What's your plan for the Zamora Ball?"

"Show up looking amazing, have some fun, and leave with the stone. What's yours?"

"The same." Lauren pulled her leg up to sit Indian style on the couch, as Bo circled the rim of her wine glass with her finger. "It's too bad you won't just give up and let my team take the win."

"It's a damn tragedy." Bo took a long drink, and a long look at Lauren's brown eyes.

"Speaking of tragedies," Lauren grinned slyly, "you ruined my favorite shirt the other night."

"Yeah, you know buttons…they take too long."

"I disagree." Lauren put her glass down and ran her tongue across her teeth. "I find that it's the…anticipation of something that makes the experience so much better. You undress slowly," Lauren slid a dexterous hand up her shirt to the top button, and popped it open with her thumb. "Slowly, one button at a time. And you get to see the other person watch you, and you _know_ it's driving them absolutely wild. There's something so, _so_ sensual about that." She dipped her hand lower, and undid the second.

_Ohmigod_. Something snapped in Bo's brain, and all she could do was stare.

"It's better to take your time, and really experience every moment, because the female arousal response," pop…another button, "is a beautiful thing to see and feel." Bo ripped her gaze away from Lauren's gorgeous hands to watch her lips as she spoke. Lauren leaned forward, drawing Bo's attention back where she wanted it, revealing a hint of cleavage and a red satin bra. Bo licked her lips. "What you're feeling now is called the 'excitement stage'. I'm using visual cues to stimulate your mind and body." She ran a hand up her chest to her neck, and into her hair. With her other hand, she undid another button.

Bo balled her hands into fists, to keep from running them all over the Doctor. She felt her chest heaving up and down with the effort.

"Right now your pulse is getting quicker. So is your breathing. Your blood pressure is rising. And your blood vessels are dilating causing flushing of the skin…just…here…" Lauren crawled forward on the couch to touch Bo's cheek. She slid her fingertips down to Bo's neck, "and here", she slid them down further, "and here." She rested them on Bo's chest, just above the zipper of Bo's vest. She felt Bo's lungs rise and fall, and bit her lip to keep under control.

Lauren leaned forward, and rested her forehead on Bo's. Bo felt Lauren's warm breath on her cheek as she spoke. "But the most noticeable, the most _prominent_ sensation you're experiencing, is the warmth and moisture that are building – right…" she slid her hand down Bo's vest, "about…" feather light touches over Bo's exposed abs and belly button, "here." Her fingers came to rest at Bo's jeans, and she expertly worked the button loose.

"Ohmigod." Bo exhaled, nearly going into convulsions at the sensations sweeping through her, and the responsive heat emanating from Lauren.

"That's the sensation that lets you know you're ready." Lauren glided her cheek across Bo's to whisper in her ear. "Tell me Bo, are you ready?" Lauren inched Bo's zipper down.

"Yes, yes, oh God yes." Bo whispered back.

"Then promise me you'll stay away from the Santiago Mansion. You won't go after the stone."

Bo's eyes shot open, and anger flared in her chest. She grabbed Lauren's hands and pulled her forward, lacing their fingers together behind Bo's back and touching chest to chest, nose to nose, lips only centimeters away from each other. "No," she growled. She rubbed her hands roughly along Lauren's, sending a flood of want and desire spilling into the Doctor, filling her up. Lauren took a deep breath and groaned.

"Are _you_ ready?" Bo turned the tables on the Lauren.

"Yes." She closed her eyes and nodded. "Hell yes."

"Then stay out of my way. The stone is mine." Bo sent another pulse into Lauren, and the blonde arched her back into the Succubus and whimpered. "Let me have this Doctor, and we'll both get what we want."

Somewhere in the corner of her mind, Lauren remembered that she was supposed to be in control. "No," she said, and ripped her hands away from Bo's, backing away slowly. Her craving didn't subside, even after she broke the contact. Bo's eyes glowed blue as she watched Lauren retreat.

They sat at opposite ends of the couch, as far away from each other as was possible, staring daggers. Lauren buttoned her shirt, Bo zipped her pants, Lauren ran a hand through her hair and Bo straightened her vest.

Lauren cleared her throat. "I guess this means we're at an impasse."

"I guess so." Bo frowned. "My offer still stands."

"So does mine." Lauren stood. She forced a smile. "You know where to find me, if you change your mind. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you." Bo watched her walk away. When Lauren was gone, she slapped herself in the forehead. She grabbed her cell phone and called home. "Kenzi? Do me a favor. Dump all the ice we have into the bathtub, and fill it up with cold water. I'll be home in five minutes."


	8. Make Me Sway

**Chapter Eight – Make Me Sway**

_The Morrigan's Compound, 1pm_

Evony, or The Morrigan to those who wanted to keep their heads fastened to their necks, slipped out from under her fifteen-hundred thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. She strode to the dresser, unabashed despite the fact that she was stark naked. All she wore was her new trinket, the Necklace of Harmonia. She grabbed the handcuff keys and sashayed back to her bed, where tonight's dinner was panting and attempting to regain his mental faculties and the power of speech.

She almost felt bad for the kid – just another low-talent 'pop sensation' whose career was peaking at age 19. Little did he know it was all downhill from here. The Morrigan had seen it a hundred times – blond haired blue eyed boy band brats usually devolved into balding, overweight sad sacks with two stints in rehab.

Ah, the circle of life.

The Morrigan uncuffed him from the headboard. "Time to go," she said. Her boy toy leaned in for a kiss, but The Morrigan snapped her fingers and two body guards entered her bedroom. They dragged the pop star out by his arms, and The Morrigan wrapped a bathrobe around herself. She removed the necklace and carefully placed it in her lock box next to the Llangareth Stone. Both had done their job so far. The necklace had taken a few years off already; she noticed a distinct lack of crow's feet when she peeked into the mirror. When she saw the Necklace of Harmonium pop up on the black market, she knew she had to have it. And the stone…my goodness the stone. Better than advertised.

She walked to her closet, footsteps muted by the sixteenth century Persian rug. Her eyes flashed with anger as she caught sight of the burn mark where Vex dropped a hot poker the last time he was here. She'd wanted to kill him for it, but instead she demoted him to an eternity of mindless chores and embarrassing errands.

Really, wasn't that a fate infinitely worse than death? Especially for a power hungry attention whore like Vex?

The Morrigan slid her closet doors open and stepped inside a cavernous room filled ceiling to floor with clothing from every designer label ever conceived. The collection stretched all the way back to Cleopatra's Alexandria line from 40BCE. Her eyes flicked from gown to gown, and she tapped her foot on the ground.

As soon as that pompous Santiago fool announced a ball for his spoiled, equally pompous daughter, The Morrigan knew she had to throw herself a party – one bigger, fancier, and with more important Fae on the guest list. The Light and Dark were on better terms these days, but that didn't stop them from trying to outdo each other at every possible opportunity.

"Lizzie!" The Morrigan screeched for her personal assistant. "Get in here!" She knew Lizzie would be standing outside, clipboard in hand, Bluetooth in ear, waiting at her beck and call for instructions. The Morrigan looked around her closet and frowned. She needed something new. What kind of Fae leader wears the same dress twice in a millennium?

The Morrigan heard footsteps approach behind her. She didn't bother to turn around. "Lizzie, call Giovanni and his Beldam friends and have them sew a new gown for me tonight. Something in gold – I want to look like a trophy. And if he can't finish on time, tell him I'll sew his eyelids shut with his own knitting needle." Her order was met with silence. Crickets. She slowly turned around to rip her assistant a new asshole.

But whoever, _whatever_ was standing there, it didn't look a thing like her mousy assistant. She wasn't sure who it was – he wore a long, black robe with the hood pulled up over his face.

How tacky.

"Oh honey," she stepped forward. "I _know_ the ghost of Christmas Future. We go out for pina coladas. And I can tell you, he would be _appalled _by this second hand get up. Cheap knock off robe – is this velour? _Velour_?" She felt the fabric…and then she felt eight sharp fingers pierce her skull and tickle her brain. Her body went numb and her jaw dropped. She started to drool.

"Is she out?" Another man in a hood asked his partner. A nod was the only reply. "Where is the stone?"

"Dresser. Lockbox." The hooded assailant drew in a breath and hissed like a snake.

"Good. Let's get it and be gone."

_Lauren's Apartment, 7pm_

Lauren stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom, checking herself out. Her blonde hair was done up high on her neck, with not a strand out of place. She bent and squatted, to make sure she had freedom of movement in her ball gown – just in case the night brought something unexpected, like hand-to-hand combat or the Electric Slide.

"Are you dressed?" Dyson asked, his voice muffled by the door. Lauren did the Twist a few times before responding.

"Yeah," she said. Dyson let himself in, and Lauren got her first look at him. He was swanky and dapper from the neck down, in his black suit and bow tie. But his face was as scruffy as ever, and he wore an expression of pain like the tie was slowly cutting off his airway and choking him to death. Lauren tried not to laugh at his misery as he tugged at his collar.

"Just in time wolf man. I need you to zip me up." She turned around. He helpfully pulled up her zipper, spun her around, and dipped her so low she almost touched the ground.

"Doctor Lewis, you're looking better than a human has the right to." He grinned and kissed her forehead before letting her back up.

Lauren laughed. "You're a sweetheart when you aren't an asshole."

"Thanks, I think. What about me? How do I look?" He struck a Napoleon pose, with a hand tucked up in his jacket.

"Like a very hairy penguin." She scratched his beard, and his face fell. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You look very handsome." She straightened his tie. He seemed satisfied with the answer, and joined her at the mirror as she put on a few final touches.

"When was the last time you wore a tux?" Lauren asked.

"Hmmm…probably the coronation of George the Fifth in 1910. Or the inauguration of Woodrow Wilson…I always get those two confused."

"I can see how that might happen." Lauren put in a pair of dangly diamond earrings, which accentuated her graceful neck perfectly. "So how did Hale end up with Ciara and you're escorting me?"

"Are you kidding? I volunteered."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Was it rock paper scissors?"

"Best two out of three. I lost in the third round, when paper covered rock."

"How disappointing for you." Lauren applied lipstick and puckered. Dyson held out his handkerchief so she could blot.

"It's a stupid game. There's no way a sheet of paper can beat a rock in the real world."

"You should lodge a formal protest with the authorities." Lauren replied absentmindedly, as she slipped into her heels.

"Eh, I'll survive. It's not worth the trouble." He grinned. "Where are you hiding your prick?"

"_Excuse me_?"

"Scots call injections 'pricks'. Get your mind out of the gutter."

Lauren groaned, and lifted her gown up to her thigh, revealing a white garter. The garter held a hypodermic needle case snugly in place, pressed up against her inner thigh. "I'm packin' heat."

Dyson laughed, and looked at her wall clock. "Uh oh, time to go. If you please, m'lady." He held out an arm, and Lauren daintily placed her hand in the crook of his elbow.

"Let's go snatch ourselves a stone," she grinned.

_The Santiago Mansion, 8pm_

Kenzi hid behind the bushes in front of the huge brick mansion, and watched the Fae freaks pull up in their limos and gowns like they were going to the damn Oscars. They even had a red carpet – the very height of self-congratulatory bullshit. Kenzi rolled her eyes and held her binoculars to her face. She looked at the front door, where Bo was already getting flirty-flirted with by some dude in a purple suit who looked like Mr. Monopoly.

"Can't make this shit up," she muttered to herself. She took note of the security guards – there were six of them manning the perimeter in front of the building – ogre types who could give the Incredible Hulk a decent nine round fight. She frowned. There had to be an opening somewhere.

"Aha!" She dropped her binoculars. There was a spot behind the pool – a walkway full of statues of goblins and monsters and other ugly creatures. She could hide behind them and sneak all the way up to the walls of the mansion. "Boom, baby." She grinned and shuffled from a squat to a crawl, lining herself up for a sprint to the first statue.

Lauren gripped Dyson's arm like a vice. As the only human in the crowd, she was nervous – almost shaking. But her face and body language didn't betray an inch of that. Lauren Lewis strode confidently among the upper class Fae, and she smiled widely any time one of them cast her a sideways glance as they headed down the red carpet. She leaned over to whisper in Dyson's ear, "You're sure I was invited, right?"

Kenzi crouched down into a sprinter's stance. "Ready," she whispered to herself.

Dyson smiled. "Of course you were invited. Why?"

"I remember what Hale said about the Boraro security barrier. I don't particularly care to find myself flying through the air like a beach ball," Lauren replied.

Kenzi stuck her butt in the air. "Set."

"Val promised me you'd be on the list," Dyson said. "I pity the poor sucker who isn't."

Kenzi took a deep breath, and crossed herself. "Aaaaand, GO!" She ran as fast as she could toward the first statue.

"Still," Dyson continued, "I wouldn't mind seeing what would happen if…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" They turned to see a body fly thirty feet in the air and do six cartwheeling somersaults before landing in the swimming pool in a massive, skin-smacking, splashy belly-flop.

Lauren and Dyson turned to each other and broke out in a fit of laughter, completely unable to suppress the giggles. "Well," Dyson finally wiped a tear from his eyes, "now we know."

* * *

Bo felt Doctor Lauren Lewis enter the room. When she finally caught a glimpse of her rival, she noticed that Lauren was draped on the arm of the wolf shifter who looked like that guy from Coldplay.

Bo hated Coldplay.

But she loved watching Lauren move in that silky, pale blue dress as they descended the stairs into the ballroom. The dress was tight in all the right ways, flowing in all the right places. And when Lauren turned to accept a glass of champagne, Bo noticed that a slit on the left side of the dress stretched up the Doctor's sculpted leg, almost to her hip. Bo nearly lost her composure and jumped the Doc on the spot. She closed her eyes, shook her head, and brought herself under control.

She had a job to do, after all. With any luck, Kenzi was already in position for Phase One.

* * *

"No…not the boots." Kenzi sobbed, watching the water drip drip drip from her soaking wet Steve Maddens as the Santiago security team lifted her in the air by her underarms. She looked back and forth between the two Fae guards. "Look fellas, I don't know what kind of invisible bouncy castle shit you have going on out _here_, but I'm supposed to be in _there_." She pointed to the mansion, but her words had absolutely zero effect as she was led off the property and unceremoniously dumped on the side of the road.

"Can't we work something out?" She shouted after them. "I can pay you off in palm reading coupons and knock-off Air Jordans!" The ogres kept walking. "Chyort voz'mi," she swore. She grabbed her phone to call Bo, but the waterlogged cell wouldn't even turn on. She plopped down on the curb and leaned against an electric pole. She hoped Bo would be able to handle things by herself, without getting distracted.

Kenzi wasn't optimistic about that.

* * *

Bo swayed in place as the band struck up a smooth waltz and the floor filled up with dancers. She still hadn't gotten the signal from Kenzi. It had been a half hour. She looked around the room – Arthur Naia was already being chatted up by the fairy chick with the British accent. While Bo was waiting for Kenzi to get her head out of her ass, the Doc Squad had pulled miles and miles ahead.

She searched the room for the rest of the rival team. The Wolf was flirting shamelessly with the Ash, near the punch bowl. Lauren was standing on the opposite side of the room next to an ice sculpture, animatedly talking to her Siren friend. Whatever they were discussing, Lauren seemed excited. She used her hands to talk a lot, and every once in a while burst into laughter. Bo licked her lips. The whole thing was incredibly sexy. Although the Siren didn't seem to think so; his eyes were glazed over, and blank.

"Idiot." Bo muttered to herself. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, realizing that those four were the only people here that she actually knew. This place was boring as hell. And Bo didn't do boring very well. Her eyes slid back to Lauren. The Doctor was many things. Sexy. Provocative. Alluring. A cooch-tease. Boring, she sure as hell wasn't. Time to play.

Lauren waved her hands. "Okay, okay, okay Hale, you'll like this one," she grinned. "What do you do with a dead chemist?"

Hale took a deep, deep drink of champagne. "I don't know Doc, what do you do with a dead chemist?"

"Barium!" Lauren replied, erupting into giggles. Hale stared back, and groaned. "Don't you get it? Barium? A soft metallic alkaline earth metal? Atomic number 56 on the periodic table of the elements. No? Never-mind, it's geek humor."

"Sorry Doc, I slept through tenth grade chemistry." Suddenly Hale's eyes lit up, and he grinned at something taking place over Lauren's shoulder. "Since we're all up in chemistry right now, why don't you keep an eye on the Succubus while I go get my mack on with that hottie over there."

"I'm not sure I like that idea." Lauren frowned.

"I'm not sure you have a choice." Hale winked, as Lauren felt a light touch on her arm. She turned to see who it was, and almost spit her champagne out when she saw it was Bo. Her eyes raked Bo up and down; it was like a reflex these days. The Succubus looked amazing, and amazingly sophisticated, in a sparkling, deep emerald gown. Lauren swallowed.

"Hi." Bo smiled.

"Hello again," Lauren replied, keeping her expression completely neutral.

Bo's smile slipped a little. "You're pissed off about yesterday."

"You're perceptive. Although I wouldn't call myself pissed off. Just disappointed. I think you made the wrong choice." Lauren sipped her champagne.

"Yeah well, I don't respond well to coercion techniques."

"I think we both know that's a lie," Lauren's mouth crept into a sly grin. "You seemed to be responding very well, as I recall."

"Nonetheless, here we are. On opposing sides." Bo fingered the stem of her champagne glass like she was playing the flute. Lauren was slightly mesmerized by the movement. "What's your role in all this tonight?"

Lauren was distressed to discover that the flirting technique she'd worked so hard to perfect over the years, the deadly hair-flip, was not possible when her blonde locks were in an updo. Shit. She ran her thumb along her bottom lip instead. "In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that my job tonight is to keep an eye on you and make sure that you don't do anything that would run contrary to the interests of my team."

"You're spying on me?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Well, why don't I make your job easier on you?" Bo set her glass on the table, and ran her hands up Lauren's bare arms, resting them on her shoulders. "Dance with me."

Lauren laughed out loud. "What makes you think I have any interest in dancing with you?"

Bo ran her fingertips up Lauren's neck. "Come on, Doc. You should know by now that I can read you like a book. That big, beautiful brain of yours might be saying 'no thanks'," Bo leaned forward, "but your body is saying something entirely different. Right?" Bo nipped at Lauren's earlobe with her teeth.

"Yes," Lauren whispered. "I mean…no." her eyes shot open, "No. I don't feel like dancing."

Bo grinned, and sent a glowing red pulse rolling through the doctor. Lauren felt her knees buckle as a familiar warm ache spread through her entire body. "I could always make you," Bo said.

"Would you really do that?" Lauren asked, breathlessly. "It's cheating."

"I'm not above bending the rules to get what I want, Doctor." Bo removed her hands and stepped back, and Lauren's rational thought patterns slipped back into place. "But only if I have to. Come on. Dance with me. Make me sway." Bo grinned playfully, and rolled her hips.

Lauren looked at the ground and smiled, before meeting Bo's eyes. "Okay. But just remember – you asked for this."


	9. Dirty Dancing

**Chapter Nine – Dirty Dancing**

Bo followed Lauren onto the ballroom floor. Her wandering eyes took in every inch of the Doctor, appreciating every subtle move she made. This proved to be dangerous, as the band was blasting out a lively jive number – Bo had to duck at the last minute to dodge a high kick by a particularly enthusiastic vampire. Lauren expertly avoided the dancers and boldly stepped to the very center of the dance floor. She winked at Bo, and with a curled finger motioned for the Succubus to come closer. Bo didn't need to be told twice.

"What did you mean by 'you asked for it'?" Bo wondered.

Lauren grinned. "By asking me to dance, you are presupposing that I am skilled, coordinated, and graceful."

Bo looked her up and down. "With a body like that and legs like those, how could you _not_ be?"

"You seem to have forgotten that I'm also a science geek. A nerd. Dare I say, a dork?" She ran a hand along Bo's cheek. "Keeping that in mind, this could go one of two ways. I could possess sensuous moves that will figuratively and literally dance your pants off. Or, I could embarrass you to the point where you run and hide under the buffet table and disavow any knowledge of my existence."

"You think you can chase me away with big words and bad dancing?"

"Let's find out." Lauren took a few steps backward and then, to the abject horror of the Succubus, busted out a spastic bastardization of so-called 'dancing' that made everyone's drunken uncle at a wedding look like Fred Astaire.

And just when Bo thought things couldn't get any worse, Lauren did 'The Sprinkler'.

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly." The Doctor raised the roof and did 'The Lawnmower', until finally Bo couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed Lauren's arms and held them at her sides.

"Please tell me you're joking. That had to be a joke," Bo said.

A grin spread across Lauren's face, as the high paced jive music ended and the dancers politely applauded the band. There was shuffling on stage, and the string section came to life joined by two bandoneons. A slow, bewitching Latin tune flowed from their instruments like water.

"Of course I'm joking. I was only testing you. I'm actually pretty damn good." Lauren winked playfully, and shifted her posture, her back straight like a ballerina. She held out her arms in a ballroom frame. "Trying to be seductive around you hasn't paid off so far – at least, not to the extent I'd hoped. I thought I might try the humor angle."

Bo stepped into Lauren's dance space. She lightly ran her palm along Lauren's arm, from shoulder to triceps to forearm, finally coming to rest in Lauren's hand. She allowed the smallest flicker of pulsing red energy to escape. Lauren rapid-fire-blinked as Bo placed her other hand on the Doctor's waist. "Adorkable is fun. But the band is playing a tango, you're dressed like a Greek goddess, and all I want to do is press up against you and feel your body move."

"Seductive it is, then." Lauren gripped the Succubus tightly and stepped forward.

So did Bo.

They clunked foreheads.

"Ow!" Lauren rubbed the spot above her left eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing?"

"_Trying _to lead! What's it look like?"

Lauren looked at Bo, and laughed. "You? Lead? I'm sorry, but that's not how this is going to work."

Bo leaned back, still in their tango hold. "Says who?"

"Says the 1995 and 1996 cha cha silver medalist at the Ontario Junior Amateur Championships. Bronze medalist in Viennese waltz and foxtrot in 1994." Lauren flicked her eyebrows. Lauren's domineering parents had started enrolling their overachieving daughter in various lessons when she turned three: archery, fencing, ballroom, equestrian, violin. Occasionally, these lessons paid off.

"Oh yeah?" Bo stammered. "Well…I've seen _Dirty Dancing_ at least 20 times."

"And you freely admit that?"

"It's not my proudest achievement, but I have nothing to hide."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Right. Because nobody puts BoBo in the corner."

"Exactly." Bo lifted her chin, haughtily.

Lauren looked down at the Succubus – with her heels on, Lauren was a few inches taller. Bo's face was indignant, her posture defensive, her deep brown eyes narrowed. Lauren didn't know if she wanted to laugh at the ridiculous Fae in front of her, or kiss her.

In one sweeping motion Lauren pulled Bo against her, seizing control, so that their hips and chest were practically glued together. Lauren whispered in Bo's ear, "In all seriousness…follow my lead."

"…Okay." Bo breathed.

Lauren spun Bo around, pushing her away before slamming their hips back together again and dipping her low. Lauren bent down and kissed Bo's neck, eliciting a shiver from the Succubus. "You've made a mistake," Lauren said. "A huge tactical error." She lifted Bo back up, never breaking their hold.

Bo's hands slid from Lauren's waist to the top of her bum. Bo felt Lauren's muscles twitch through the smooth silk of her dress. "What do you mean?"

Lauren interlocked her lead fingers with Bo's. "Asking me to dance was a mistake." Bo gasped as Laruen ground her pelvis against Bo's thigh, using her knee as leverage to spin Bo in a circle before pulling her violently back up, centimeters from her face. Lauren pressed her forehead to Bo's and breathed deeply the scent of Bo's perfume. "It's a mistake, because I'm going to keep you here, all night, until the only thought your brain can process is how incredible it feels when I touch you."

"Fuck me," Bo whispered.

Lauren dipped her again, and slid her free hand across Bo's chest. Her lips curled into an evil smile. "That can be arranged."

* * *

"Holyyy shit." Hale's jaw dropped, and he completely forgot about the nymph who'd just fallen for his cheesy pickup line. The floor was clearing out around Lauren and Bo, but the two didn't seem to realize that they were attracting an audience as they glided and grind-ed across the room. Hale put his hands to his lips. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Get your tongue back in your mouth bro. You're drooling." Dyson clapped him on the shoulder.

"It's like every prayer I've had since I was thirteen is being answered right now, right in front of my face." Hale stared in amazement. "I can die a happy man."

Dyson merely chuckled. Hale finally ripped his eyes away from the ladies and turned to his friend. "How are you not profoundly affected by this?"

"Because Lauren is like my sister. How would you feel if that was Val out there, dry humping a succubus in front of a room full of horn-dogs?"

Hale winced.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"How's it going with Naia?"

"Ciara has him wrapped around her finger. He's on his fifth scotch. Everything is right on schedule."

"And clearly the Doc is keeping our competition occupied."

"Clearly." Dyson said gruffly, as Lauren did a series of intricate leg flicks around Bo's midsection. He frowned. "Don't you feel like things are going a little too well?"

"Huh?"

"Normally we'd have run into some sort of complication by now."

"And you're complaining?"

"No." Dyson scratched his beard. "Just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

* * *

Kenzi held her boot upside down, letting the rest of the water drain out slowly, drip by agonizing drip. She smacked the back of her head against the electric pole. Bo had given her _one _job. Okay, technically three jobs: get inside, give the signal, then kill the lights. That was the important one. Kill the lights. It should have been easy enough. Leave it to the Fae to find new ways of screwing with her plans.

She glanced across the street. There was a bulldozer parked in the sprawling, perfectly manicured lawn of another disgustingly extravagant mansion. It looked like the owners were installing a fountain. Kenzi wondered if a bulldozer would break through whatever barrier was protecting the Santiago house. She quickly decided she didn't want to find out. It was bad enough getting bounced to kingdom come, but getting bounced to kingdom come and _then_ having a bulldozer land on top of you didn't sound like a good time.

Kenzi smacked her head off the pole again, and looked to the sky for inspiration or a sign. All she saw were power cables above her, stretching toward the Santiago compound.

A light bulb clicked on in her brain.

* * *

Lauren almost couldn't tell where her body ended and Bo's began. They spun around. "What do you know about the tango?" She asked.

Bo ran her hand up Lauren's leg, reaching through the slit of her dress to touch soft skin. "I know I like it. A lot."

Lauren grinned. "The tango originated in 19th century Buenos Aires, in the slums. Argentine cowboys would dance all night with prostitutes in the brothels of the Barrio de las Ranas. They were poor. It was their chance to escape and go wild. What emerged was a dirty, sweaty, passionate new dance form that was shunned by respectable society." Lauren leaned in. "And for good reason," she whispered against Bo's neck.

Bo licked her lips. "So in this scenario, you're a cowboy and I'm a prostitute?"

Bo felt Lauren grin against her bare skin. "Traditionally speaking, yes."

"Well then," Bo leaned back to look Lauren in the eye. "I guess I'd better start playing the part." She wrapped her hand around Lauren's neck and pulled her forward, mashing their lips together in a dangerously rough kiss. Lauren's lips parted in a moan and that was all the invitation Bo needed to plow deeper, roughly massaging Lauren's tongue with her own. When they finally pulled away to catch their breath, Bo caught Lauren's bottom lip between her teeth and gave it a playfully erotic tug.

"Yeehaw." Lauren's grin was as wide as the Rio Grande.

* * *

"It's like they're having sex," Hale marveled, "even though they're not _actually_ having sex."

Dyson groaned. "Is this song ever going to end?"

"My man, if there are gods in heaven, this song with never, EVER end."

* * *

Kenzi crawled into the driver's seat of the bulldozer. No keys. Go figure. She kicked the panel under the steering wheel and it cracked in two. "Oookay…hot wiring a bulldozer. No biggie. Probably just like a car…on steroids…Truckosaurus Rex." She bit her fingernails.

* * *

Ciara laughed at Arthur Naia's horrible joke, and put a hand on his arm. The man reeked of cologne like he'd taken a bath in it before he showed up to the ball. He was dripping 'sleaze', and Ciara most definitely regretted volunteering to spend the whole evening with him. She caught the attention of a passing waiter. "Another scotch, please." Naia downed his fifth drink, and burped. "Actually," Ciara caught the waiter again, "make it a double."

She was tempted to order one for herself. She straightened Naia's tie, checking again to make sure she could feel the Orsedd Stone under his shirt. She was so close…if only she could just head-butt him, grab the stone and make a run for it. The waiter returned quickly with the drink, bless him, and Naia downed it in a single gulp. He turned toward the dance floor and teetered, nearly losing his balance, catching himself on the shoulder of an angry looking Sileni.

"Excellent." Ciara whispered. She quickly waved to Dyson, signaling him. Dyson nodded.

Time for phase two.

* * *

Kenzi touched the two wires together, and the diesel engine sputtered then roared. "It's aliiiive!" She shouted over the sound. "Who's bad? I'm bad. I know it." She did a quick victory dance in her chair. "Now let's get this puppy movin'." Her smile slipped into a frown as she eyeballed the instrument panel. She didn't have the slightest idea how to put a bulldozer in 'drive'.

"What the hell?" She pushed a random lever, but instead of moving forward the blade lifted five feet in the air before slamming back to the ground. "Strike one," she muttered. She pulled another lever, and the tracks slowly spun her into a left leaning circle. "Strike two." She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. In a moment of frustration she hovered her hands over the wheel and shouted, "Locomotor Bulldozer!"

Nothing happened. "Not a Harry Potter fan, huh? Strike three." She sat back, and her elbow grazed another lever. To Kenzi's shock, the tractor began to inch forward.

"Yes!" She stood up in her chair. "Onward, foul yellow beast! Charge!" She shouted out the window as the bulldozer crawled toward the electric pole.

* * *

Bo and Lauren stepped and moved around the wide open ballroom floor. "How long are we going to keep doing this?" Bo asked, using her arm placement on Lauren's back to surreptitiously unzip her gown by an inch.

"Doing what?" Lauren asked, innocently.

"Driving each other crazy until we're almost bursting, and then walking away. The innuendo, the flirting, the teasing. All this dancing around. It has to be leading somewhere." Bo nipped at Lauren's chin. Lauren leaned back, taking all of Bo's weight on top of her.

The music built to a crescendo, and Lauren rolled Bo from her chest onto her back, gently laying her on the ballroom floor. "Is that what you want?" She asked.

"You know what I want." Bo replied lustily, looking up at the Doctor. The song ended and thunderous applause rang out from all corners of the ballroom. The two women didn't even hear it.

"Say that again." Lauren whispered, leaning over the Succubus.

Bo raised her head up to meet her. "You _know_ what I _want_."

"Then _show_ me."

Bo's eyes blazed blue, and she pulled Lauren on top of her. She sensed how much the Doctor wanted, hell _needed_ her.

* * *

Ciara grinned at Naia. "Why don't we go somewhere more private?" She led him toward the stairs, Dyson and Hale following a few paces behind.

* * *

Lauren's chest heaved from the exertion of their dancing and the yearning for something more. Bo was almost drunk on the lust emanating from the woman. Bo had never, ever, in her entire life wanted anything so much as Doctor Lauren Lewis. She massaged the nape of Lauren's neck and looked deeply into her stunning brown eyes. "Fuck the stone. Fuck it." Bo breathed. "Take me home."

* * *

"Banzaaaaaiiiii!" Kenzi screamed, as the bulldozer made contact.

* * *

The crowd inside the mansion screamed, as the entire room plunged into darkness.


	10. Lighting Up and Getting Dark

**Chapter Ten – Lighting Up and Getting Dark**

Bo and Lauren did not, initially, realize the lights were out. They did not, initially, grasp the fact that they were surrounded by a room full of shouting, incredibly confused Fae. In fact initially, all Bo could process was that Lauren was on top of her, feverishly making out with her. And initially, all Lauren could process was how soft Bo's lips were, how good Bo's curves fit against her own, and how relieved she was that Bo had finally thrown in the towel.

In fact, neither woman realized anything was amiss until someone stepped on Bo's hand.

"OUCH!" Bo shouted.

"DAMMIT!" Lauren fell backward, her eardrum nearly blown out by Bo's yelp. The mood was effectively destroyed. Lauren opened her eyes, then blinked twice to make sure there wasn't something wrong with them. "Power's out," she stated the obvious, and rubbed her sore ear. "What do you suppo…" Lauren paused, unable to finish her sentence.

"What, what is it?"

"Your _eyes_." Lauren leaned in, full of scientific curiosity. "When they're blue, they glow in the dark. It's extraordinary."

"Well thanks, Doc." Bo crossed her eyes, drawing a chuckle from the Doctor, before the blue faded and Lauren couldn't see them anymore.

Around the room, Fire Fae and others with bioluminescent properties were lighting up, casting a dim and undeniably beautiful glow over the ballroom. Lauren had never seen anything like it. A tall, dark Fae stood at the front of the room, flames erupting from both his hands. A leprechaun glowed green at his table by the picture windows – his reflection lit up on the glass.

Lauren stood, and reached out to help Bo to her feet. As her eyes adjusted, she was able to make out Bo's silhouette. "This is incredible." Lauren said, as a blue-tinted fairy hovered above their heads, bathing them in azure light.

"Meh. They're just showing off," Bo retorted.

"Jealous?"

"Please. I slept with a Fire Fae once. The whole shtick is really impressive, until he almost burns your nipples off. I wouldn't recommend it."

"Duly noted."

Sturgis Santiago's voice erupted in the ballroom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry but it appears there is an issue with the power to the main house. We'll have the backup generators up momentarily. In the meantime, please continue to enjoy your evening."

"I wonder what happened," Lauren said.

Bo sighed deeply. "I think I have a pretty good idea."

* * *

"Shitballs!" Kenzi watched as an electric wire danced along the blade of the bulldozer, spitting sparks in every direction. "Okay okay okay," she tried to calm down. "Safety training. Think. Stranger danger? No. Look both ways? No...what are you supposed to do if a freakin' live wire lands on your car? Aha!" She stepped to the edge of the carpet, making sure not to touch the metal.

"Land on both feet at once. Screw up, and you're fried chicken." She crossed herself, closed her eyes, and jumped.

She felt her feet hit the pavement, but it took a few seconds to work up the courage to open her eyes. She creaked open one eyelid, then another, and looked down at her feet. "Okay, okay! You're good. You're breathing. You didn't get electrocuted. Now…two footed hop for twenty yards, then sprint like the devil's chasing you." She looked back at the mansion filled with Fae freaks. "Which will probably happen any second now. Okay." Kenzi glued her feet together and bunny-hopped few feet. She did it again, and again. "Here comes Peter Cottontail," she sang, as she speed-hopped away from the bulldozed scene of the crime.

* * *

"She never gave me the signal, so I wasn't in position. I don't know how she did it or why she even bothered," Bo finished explaining to Lauren as the generators kicked in and the lights came on.

Lauren ran a fingertip along the crook of Bo's elbow. She'd been listening, but it was hard to concentrate on anything except Bo's lips. "Perhaps it's a rather exceptional case of – what was it you accused me of the other night – Doc-blocking? In a precognitive region of her brain, your partner knew you were about to acquiesce to my demands. And she put a stop to it."

"I think you're giving Kenzi too much credit. And I don't know or care what acquiescing means." Bo wrapped her arms around Lauren's waist. "Why don't we find a private room somewhere in this huge mansion and do something dirty."

Lauren grinned. "Mmmmm…I could go for that." She cupped Bo's face in her hands, and pressed her lips to Bo's.

"Lauren! Lauren! Hey, Doc!" Hale shouted, running towards her. "Stop suckin' face. We need you, now!"

"So do I," Bo growled, but Lauren had already turned to her teammate. Hale grabbed her arm and practically yanked her away.

"What's going on? Is it Ciara? Dyson?"

"No," Hale said, pushing people aside. "It's Naia. Something happened to him." They rushed towards the stairs. Bo followed, a few paces behind. Ciara and Dyson were standing at the top of the stairwell, looking down.

"Hale I don't know what you want me to do, I don't have any of my medical equipment with me." She stood next to Ciara, "So unless he needs to be...oh wow." Lauren turned away. She covered her face and mouth to compose herself before looking again.

About halfway down the stairs were the charred, still smoking remains of Arthur Naia. Lauren took a deep breath and descended the steps. She squatted next to what was left of the very unlucky Luck Fae. As a doctor for the Light, she witnessed new levels of freaky almost every day. But there were some things she still hadn't gotten used to even after six years. "What happened, Ciara?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." Ciara sat on the top stair and held her head in her hands. "The lights went out. Something ran by and knocked me over. He…_it_ tackled Naia, I heard a scuffle, and then I felt an enormous burst of heat. Is sleazy cologne really_ that_ flammable?"

Lauren jumped back up and ran to her friend. She did a quick once-over of Ciara's exposed skin. "Did you get burned? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I've been through much worse, believe me."

Lauren turned to Dyson. "The stone?"

"Gone. The lights came back on, Naia was char-broiled, and his necklace wasn't there."

"Shit." Lauren went back down the stairs to inspect Naia's body.

"Whew, smells like bacon over here." Bo appeared at the top of the stairs and surveyed the scene. "Holy hell! Did you people have to _kill_ the guy?"

"You!" Dyson growled, and reached the top step in a single leap. He grabbed her arm and bared his teeth; his canines stretched to their wolf shape. "What did you do to him?"

"What did _I_ do? _Excuse me_?" She snapped her arm out of his grip.

"Dyson!" Lauren snapped. "She was with me the whole time. She had nothing to do with this." She lifted Naia's eyelid and put it back down. She looked up at Dyson and Hale. "You need to shift into Day Job Mode. Set up a perimeter, keep onlookers away, and get this body transferred to my lab immediately."

Dyson ripped his glare from Bo, and grabbed his cell to start making calls.

"Day job mode?" Bo wondered. She knew the Doctor was a doctor, but had no idea what the others did.

"What's your professional opinion, Doc?" Hale asked.

"He's dead."

"Glad I consulted an expert." Hale rolled his eyes.

"It's all I have for you right now. I won't know what killed him until I run some tests."

"This had to be someone on the guest list," Hale said. "No one else could get in."

"Which means you and Dyson have the happy job of interrogating five hundred grumpy Fae." Lauren smiled humorlessly.

Hale turned to the Succubus. "I'm gonna start with _you_." He pulled his detective badge from his pocket, and showed it to her.

"Wait, you guys are robbers _and_ cops? That's not even fair! How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?" Bo stomped her foot immaturely. "This is your fault, Kenzi!" She shouted to the air, as Hale led her to a table in the corner.

Dyson reappeared at the top of the stairs. "You're not going to believe this."

"Try me," Lauren muttered.

"Earlier this afternoon, someone broke in to the Morrigan's Compound and stole the Llangareth Stone. Apparently The Morrigan doesn't remember a thing about it except seeing a man dressed like," Dyson consulted his notepad, "'Hades, Lord of the Underworld, if Hades shopped at Walmart.' That's a direct quote."

Lauren bit her thumb. "This can't be a coincidence."

"No. It' can't."

"There's a new player in town."

"Highly likely."

"It's going to be a long night."

"Most definitely."

Lauren sighed. "Shit."

"Agreed."

* * *

_One Day Later  
_

Lauren clicked a button on her remote, and soft piano music filled the empty spaces of her apartment. She played along on an imaginary keyboard on her kitchen counter, uncorked a bottle of Bandol rosé and poured herself a glass. It had been almost twenty-seven hours since she'd last been home. Hale and Dyson were in the same boat – while she had been stuck in the lab, they had been stuck at the police station. They had no leads, and even worse Lauren still wasn't sure what kind of Fae killed Naia. Lauren didn't like not knowing things. But that wasn't what was bothering her at the moment.

She sat down on her couch and pulled the coffee table closer, to use as a desk for her laptop and notebooks. She took a sip of wine and frowned as she waited for her computer to power up. Was there even a point in trying to get work done when all she could think about was Bo? Kissing Bo. Touching Bo. Dancing with Bo. It seemed like all she'd been thinking about for the past week, ever since the Succubus came barging into her life, was Bo. It all led up to that glorious moment of capitulation, and for Lauren, victory: "Take me home," the Succubus had said.

Lauren looked around her apartment and couldn't help but wonder what Bo would make of her art collection, or the shelf full of notebooks written in Lauren's own hand, or the cabinet packed with Fae medications.

"She'd probably break something," Lauren thought to herself. But still…when she thought of the dance, it sent shivers down her spine. The good kind of shivers. They'd been _thisclose_.

She opened the project she'd been working on before the Naia incident – a molecular diagram of rare Naga venom collected from Lachlan before he died. She bit her lip and tapped her pen on the table. She stared at the chemical composition, but her brain drifted away from the carbon and oxygen symbols on the screen, the C's and O's. All she saw in her mind's eye was Bo, wearing nothing but a C cup bra, making an O-face.

"Oh for fuck's sake." Lauren tossed her pen away and rubbed her eyes. She looked at the clock – just past midnight. Lauren had come home from the lab and taken a long, hot bath, hoping it would ease her mind into sleep mode. But she realized she should know better – her mind was never at ease. There was no idle, or even first gear, in the Lamborghini brain of Lauren Lewis. So she sat in front of her computer, in a comfy pair of worn out jeans and a tank top, staring into space, mulling over her options.

She _could_ go over there. She sent the flowers, she knew where Bo lived. But it was already so late – what would happen if she just showed up and knocked on the door? Would she wake Bo up? Lauren licked her lips, wondering about what the Succubus wore (or didn't wear) to bed. Flannel PJ pants and a tank? A skimpy nightgown? Red, lace, see-through lingerie? Or maybe nothing at all…

Lauren hadn't even realized her hand was travelling south until it reached its destination. "Dammit!" She snatched it away and stood up, pacing back and forth across the living room. She didn't want hollow self-gratification.

The Succubus was right.

"Fuck it," Lauren said.

She wanted Bo.

She hurried towards the door, stopping only to shove her feet into a pair of sandals. She had no intention of getting changed, or putting on makeup, or styling her hair – that would take too long. She grabbed the keys to her bike from the side table, ripped her jacket from the hook, flung it over her shoulders and threw open her front door.

Lauren stopped in her tracks. She gulped. There, standing in her doorway, was Bo.


	11. Winning By Losing

**Chapter Eleven – Winning by Losing**

Lauren froze – one hand still on the doorknob, the other holding her keys. Bo stood immobilized in the doorway, fist up in the air, interrupted as she was getting ready to knock. Nobody moved. Somewhere in the distance, a car alarm went off.

A dust bunny blew in from the hallway like a tumbleweed.

Lauren shook the cobwebs out of her brain and blinked twice – a necessary exercise to scrub the dirty thoughts from her mind. One blink – 'Bo looks incredible in those pants, but she'd look better without them'. Two blinks – 'welcome to my humble abode, Ms. Dennis, and don't you look fetching this evening'.

Lauren swallowed. Out loud, all she said was "Hello."

Bo smiled widely at the Doctor. She felt the whopping energy flow that Lauren was putting out, but didn't mention anything. The last thing Bo wanted to do was start a snippy argument at this point – that wouldn't help her cause. "Are you going somewhere?" Bo pointed to the keys in Lauren's hand.

"Uh, no. No." Lauren tossed the keys on the table. She ran a hand through her hair, giving Bo a quick glimpse of abs under the leather jacket and shirt. She furrowed her eyebrows. "How do you know where I live?"

"You aren't the only one with connections." Bo winked. Her 'connection' had used a wonderful tool called the internet, and was currently home, passed out from drinking too much wine. But Lauren didn't need to know that. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah. Of course. Oh, shoes off please." Lauren pointed to Bo's feet, drawing a chuckle from the Succubus. No boots in the apartment. No problem - it would make for less hassle later on. Bo slid her boots off and kicked them under the side table. Lauren stepped aside to let Bo in. She gave the Succubus plenty of space, but Bo still found a way to brush up against her, just barely sliding the back of her hand against the zipper of Lauren's jeans.

"Sorry," Bo apologized, even though she was anything but. She got the exact reaction she wanted from Lauren, as the Doctor's cheeks flushed red. She grinned mischievously.

Lauren took her jacket off and flipped her hair before returning the grin. "Would you like some wine?" She asked.

"Sure," Bo replied. Lauren slipped by Bo, trailing a hand along the curves of Bo's ass. Lauren felt Bo's muscles tighten under her fingers at the unexpected touch. She looked over her shoulder and gazed lustfully at the Succubus as she made for the kitchen. 'Two can play at this game', she thought.

Bo watched Lauren's dexterous hands at work, as she grabbed a glass and poured the wine. Those hands. My god, the things those hands could surely do. Lauren caught Bo staring. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Couldn't be better." Lauren handed her the wine. Bo made sure to brush the tips of Lauren's fingers, sending a wave of red, glowing sexual energy into Lauren that almost made her drop the glass. Lauren cleared her throat, and took a long draught straight from the wine bottle before refilling her own glass.

"So. Why are you here?" She asked.

"I was in the neighborhood. Thought I'd drop by."

Lauren grinned. "Right. I suppose you were jogging again?"

"Of course not. I can think of better ways to work up a sweat." Bo's eyes blazed over the rim of her wine glass, as she took a sip. "Plus, I wanted to see where you live." She set the glass on the counter, and took a few steps into the living room. Her eyes travelled around the Doctor's apartment. Sophisticated. Spotless. The exact opposite of the Clubhouse.

Bo removed her jacket and laid it on the back of the couch. Lauren felt a knot tighten in her stomach at the view of Bo's oh-so feminine form. Succulent curves. Toned ass and arms. Lauren gulped. She wanted Bo. On that couch. On the carpet. In her king sized bed. In the shower. On the kitchen counter. On the stairs. On her, under her, and most importantly, _in_ her. She felt a dull ache spread through her body at the thought, and she forced herself to speak. "You mean you didn't come here with an ulterior motive?" Her feet carried her toward the Succubus.

"Well, that depends." Bo felt and heard Lauren approaching, but she didn't turn around. She looked up at the large painting on the wall, and tilted her head sideways. "Hey Doc? Do you know you have a naked woman in your living room?"

Lauren stepped right behind Bo and leaned in, breathing in the sweet jasmine scent of her shampoo. She rested her hands on Bo's hips and gently pulled her backward, so that their bodies were touching – Bo felt Lauren's firm breasts pressed against her back. "I'm about to have two of them," Lauren warm breath tickled Bo's ear. She brushed Bo's hair to one side and lightly kissed her neck.

"I set you up for that one, didn't I?" Bo bit her lip and closed her eyes.

"Mmmm…perfectly." Lauren grinned. She pulled a strap of Bo's tank top down and kissed her shoulder, tracing circles with her tongue over the exposed skin. "Tell me. Kenzi isn't waiting outside with an axe to break down my door at the worst possible moment, is she?"

"No." Bo sighed as Lauren's hands drifted across her waist.

"She's not going to set off a fire alarm?"

"No."

"Waltz right in, plop down on my couch, and watch TV?"

"No-_oh_…" Bo sucked in a gasp as Lauren's hands slid up under Bo's shirt, cupping her breasts. Bo arched her back to maximize the contact as Lauren teased her nipples. The pressure of Lauren's tongue on her skin grew more intense with every pull and tweak. Bo's bottom lip trembled as she asked, "What about your cell?"

Lauren sucked Bo's earlobe, and bit down with just enough pressure to make Bo weak in the knees. "In my laptop case. On 'silent'." She slid her hands down; her palms lightly traced Bo's scorching hot skin and came to rest at her jeans.

"And your team?"

"Still at the police station. No interruptions. Not a chance."

"Good." Bo slowly ran her fingertips along Lauren's forearms, raising goose bumps all the way down to her knuckles. She used her power to send wave after wave of desire rolling through the Doctor.

"Jesus." Lauren's body shook with pleasure, and she involuntarily bucked her hips into Bo. Bo spun around and lifted Lauren into the air, carrying her four feet then slamming her into the wall. A picture frame came dislodged and landed on the floor with a crash, but Lauren didn't even notice, her entire mind filled with pleasure and hunger for the Succubus. Bo set the blonde on her feet and put her hands on the wall, trapping Lauren between her arms.

"Did you like that?" Bo asked.

"Yes." Lauren whispered, hooking her fingers in Bo's belt loops and pulling her closer. "Fuck yes." She crashed into Bo, assaulting her mouth with a kiss that was all tongues and teeth and aggression. Lauren hummed softly, and the vibration on Bo's lips shocked her all the way down to the core. Their tongues pushed for dominance, battled for control, until Bo pulled away with a hissed intake of breath.

"Do you want me to do it again?" Bo lusted for the blonde; she needed to consume the doctor with every fiber of her being. She needed to see her come apart at the seams.

"God yes," Lauren whimpered. She traced Bo's lips with her tongue before diving in again – the wetness of the kiss was nothing compared to the moisture building between her thighs. She bit her lip to keep from shouting out as Bo ran her fingers through Lauren's hair and massaged her scalp, sending pulses of pleasure into the Doctor with every push and squeeze of her expert fingers. Lauren's eyes shot open as Bo shifted her position, forcing her knee between Lauren's legs and sliding it up her inner thigh, inches from where Lauren needed contact the most.

"What else do you want me to do?" Bo's husky voice alone was enough to send waves of desire coursing through Lauren's body. She found it difficult to form a coherent thought as Bo pinned her against the wall. The Succubus moved her hands from Lauren's neck to her waist, rubbing them up her sculpted abs to her sides, raising the Doctor's arms above her head. She interlocked their fingers and pressed her chest to Lauren's. Bo felt the blonde's painfully erect nipples press against hers through the cloth of bras and tank tops. "You're awfully quiet all of a sudden, Doctor. Tell me what you want me to do." She sent another wave of energy through their knotted fingers.

"I want…" Lauren gulped and bit her lower lip as Bo kissed her collarbone. She sighed, and her eyes rolled back in her head. "I want you to rip my clothes off."

Bo pulled back only long enough to ask, "And then?"

"I want you to fuck me until I can't even remember my name."

Bo grinned. "That's all I wanted to hear."

And then, to Lauren's utter shock and abject horror, Bo took three large steps backwards.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lauren leaned against the wall, her chest heaving.

Bo grinned, and licked her lips. "Three times, Dr. Lewis. Three times in the one week I've known you, you have put me in the exact situation you're in right now. Desperately wanting. Desperately needing. Desperately unfulfilled. Once at the JM Tower, once at the Dal Riata, and once at the Zamora Ball. Tell me…how does it feel?"

Lauren smacked her head against the back of the wall, sweaty, disheveled, unable to catch her breath and painfully hot for it. "You can't be…this isn't…you can't be this shitty." She stuttered.

"Oh, I can." Bo took another step back, taking great joy in watching Lauren fidget and squirm. "And I am."

Lauren's jaw dropped.

Bo struggled – and it was definitely a struggle – to keep from laughing at the look of astonishment on Lauren's face. Bo didn't say a word for five seconds, giving Lauren some time to process the information in her big, beautiful brain. "There is a way to resolve this that would make us both happy." Bo's deep brown eyes flashed blue on cue – she'd rehearsed at home in front of a mirror.

"Yeah?" Lauren crossed her arms in front of her, trying to maintain some level of dignity. She cleared her throat. "And how is that?"

"All I need is two words from you." Bo approached Lauren again, and pushed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "I need you to say, 'I. Lose.'"

Lauren's hand shot up reflexively, and she grabbed Bo's bare arm with a slap. "Forget it."

"Two simple words Lauren. That's all it takes." Bo reached down with her other hand, and rubbed Lauren's center. Even through the jeans, Bo could tell how deliciously wet Lauren was. "I know you're ready. I can feel it." Lauren groaned at Bo's touch, but she fought to maintain clarity and took a step back.

"I believe your exact words were 'fuck the stone, fuck it, take me home'." Lauren ran her tongue across her teeth. "You…_you_ came here tonight, to my apartment. _You_ gave in. _ You_ lost, not me. Besides," Lauren slid her hand down to the hem of her shirt and slowly, inch by agonizing inch, pulled her tank top over her head. "You want this just as much as I do." She dropped the shirt on the floor, reached back, and unclasped her bra.

"Uh oh," Bo whispered. She hadn't rehearsed for this.

"Yeah. Uh oh is right." Lauren grinned wickedly. She slipped the straps from her shoulders and slid them down her arms before letting the bra fall. She watched Bo's eyes grow wide. Lauren twirled the undergarment around her finger before pulling it back like a rubber band and shooting it at Bo. It hit the Succubus in the face and dropped to the carpet. Lauren put her hands on her hips, brazen and free as a bird. "Two words Bo. And you get none of this until you say them."

Bo said nothing. Lauren said nothing.

The dust bunny blew across the carpet.

"I can keep going." Lauren reached down to unbutton her jeans. "We've been through this before, and we both know you aren't strong enough to just stand there and watch." She winked as she unzipped her jeans and let them fall to her feet. She kicked them aside, grinning, in nothing but a pair of blue checkered hipsters.

Bo crossed the distance between them in a millisecond, stopping herself centimeters from the Doctor.

"Can I help you?" Lauren asked.

Bo's fingernails dug in to her palms as she fought to keep them glued firmly to the side of her own body. Being so close to Lauren was overwhelming – the sexual energy radiating from the blonde was like rays of sunlight. Radioactive. She felt like she could get a damn tan from it. "Shit," she muttered. "Why do you have to be so hot?"

"What are you going to do about it?" Lauren took a step forward, pressing her naked chest against Bo. All the repressed desire exploded within the Succubus, and she grasped Lauren by the biceps to hold her in place.

"I have an idea," Bo said.

Lauren shuddered as Bo's hot breath tickled her skin. She wrapped her hands in brunette hair, and rubbed her cheek against Bo's. "I'm listening."

"We both say it. On three."

Lauren smiled, licking down Bo's jawline and planting an innocent kiss on her lips. "No cheating," she warned.

Bo smirked and held up a finger. "Pinky swear?"

Lauren laughed and wrapped her pinky around Bo's, rubbing it up and down in the dirtiest, most suggestive pinky swear in the history of pinky swears. "Agreed," she said. They pressed their foreheads together and stared into each other's eyes. The heat between then was enough to melt a hole in Lauren's floor. "Ready?" Lauren asked.

Bo nodded, and breathed in. "One. Two. Three."

"I lose." They said, in unison.

* * *

Before Bo knew what was happening, Lauren swept her legs out from under her, catching the Succubus as they fell to Lauren's carpeted floor. Lauren straddled Bo's waist and yanked her tank top off, bending down to mount a tactile assault on Bo's lips. She moaned deeply as Bo teased her sensitive nipples with her thumbs, and almost came on the spot as the Succubus sent pulses of pure sex into Lauren at the points of contact – Lauren's scientific mind could not process a sensation so intense and powerful as the one coursing through her entire body at that moment.

Bo sat up underneath the Doctor, scraping her nails down Lauren's back, kissing and nipping and sucking at her front. Lauren reached to unclasp Bo's bra, and furrowed her eyebrow in momentary confusion. "Where is…?"

"Front." The Succubus leaned back to grant Lauren access, and the blonde grinned and unclasped the bra with nimble fingers, releasing Bo's breasts from their bounds. She bent over to place a teasing kiss on one, then another, before roughly pressing down on Bo's shoulders, directing her back to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Bo asked. She wasn't used to someone else being in control.

"Steering." Lauren chuckled. "Just lay back."

"But I'm a..."

"Not today." Lauren kissed her lips and started down, blonde hair spilling all along Bo's skin, each strand tickling and enhancing the sensations vibrating through the Succubus. Lauren explored new areas of Bo's body with her lips, tongue, and teeth, all the while moving steadily south. She plotted a course down Bo's chest and perfectly flat stomach, diverting only for a moment to circle Bo's belly button with her tongue before continuing her journey down.

Lauren's eyes flicked upward, she wanted to see the look on Bo's face, and she wasn't disappointed. Bo sucked on her bottom lip as her chest heaved with deep breaths and barely contained desire. Lauren popped open the button of her jeans and pulled the zipper down. She grabbed a pant leg in each hand and pulled.

And pulled.

And pulled.

"Did you glue these damn things on?" Lauren yanked and tugged, but couldn't budge the fabric more than an inch or two. "A little help?"

Bo simply watched and grinned naughtily, offering no assistance whatsoever. Lauren propped her foot against her lounge chair for leverage and grimaced. With one final, massive tug the jeans came loose, sending Lauren toppling over backward in a jumble of denim and flailing limbs.

Bo burst out laughing as Lauren emerged from the tangle. "Oh you think that's funny?" Lauren tried to suppress the grin spreading across her face.

"Yes, yes I do." Bo giggled as Lauren crawled back toward her. "I think you're hilarious."

"Yeah?" Lauren tangled her fingers in Bo's hair and leaned in to kiss her on the lips. "Well I think you're stubborn." She kissed Bo's neck. "And cruel." She licked down the valley between Bo's breasts. "And beautiful." She fingered the waistline of Bo's panties. "And so, so eminently fuckable." She slid the underwear down Bo's legs, to her feet, and tossed them aside. "And I think you had better prepare yourself," Lauren grinned wickedly. "Because this is going to be epic."

* * *

"Oh, _fuck_." Lauren threw her head back and clawed at the sheets as release pounded through her. Bo grinned and watched as Lauren's entire body shook with the aftershocks. She slid back up to the pillows as the blonde rubbed her own face in an attempt to recover brain functionality. Bo kissed her lips and lay next to her, pulling the covers up around their naked bodies. She propped herself up on her elbow.

Lauren finally opened her eyes. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Four AM, according to your wall clock." Bo laid her hand on Lauren's abs, feeling Lauren rise and fall as her breathing slowed down.

"What time did you get here?"

"Just after midnight."

"Wow." Lauren looked wide-eyed around the bedroom, just now realizing where she was. "How did we get up here?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Bo said. Lauren turned her head to look at Bo, and grinned radiantly.

"I remember the stairs…"

Bo chuckled. "That was the first time we tried to get up here. We didn't make it."

"You pulled me back down by my ankle." Lauren playfully flicked Bo's shoulder.

"You didn't seem to mind," Bo leaned over and kissed her neck.

"True." Lauren's eyes rolled back as she searched her memory. "Then there was the…dining room table."

"I liked that one."

"And…on my clothes dryer?" Lauren furrowed her brow. "Did that happen, or am I making that up?"

"No, it definitely happened." Bo grabbed Lauren's hand and kissed her knuckles, one by one. She couldn't get enough of the woman in front of her.

"Why am I having difficulty remembering?" Lauren wondered, unable to turn off the Doctor part of her psyche.

"Because I just _literally_ blew your mind." Bo grinned mischievously.

Lauren rolled her eyes. She turned to face Bo. "For the purpose of scientific research – did you do your thing?"

"My thing?"

"Yeah, you know, your…" Lauren crossed her eyes, opened her mouth wide, bared her teeth and growled. "_That_ thing."

Bo blinked. "What. Was. That?"

"I don't know," Lauren stammered, "Call it my…succu-face."

"You looked like a dinosaur."

"Shut up."

"That was the most unattractive thing I've ever seen."

"Shut up!" Lauren slapped her arm. "I'm really curious. Did you feed? And is that what you call it, feeding?" Lauren clapped her hands together gleefully. "There's so much to learn!"

Bo couldn't help but grin at seeing this completely new side of Lauren. "I sucked your chi. Just a little bit. You didn't notice – the multiple orgasms had you otherwise occupied."

Lauren scootched closer, wrapping her arms and legs around Bo. "And how did I taste?"

"Delicious, in every sense of the word." Bo kissed the tip of Lauren's nose.

Lauren grinned. "Something just occurred to me. The Orsedd Stone is gone. That means we aren't competitors anymore."

"Yep. So?"

"_So_, you should come and work with us. We could definitely utilize your unique talents."

"Being a great lay?"

"I'm not kidding." Lauren sat up and looked at Bo. "Join Team Lauren. The money's good. We have a lot of fun."

"What would your wolf friend think about that?" Bo chuckled.

"It's not Dyson's decision to make. Everyone knows who calls the shots around here."

Lauren yelped as Bo rolled on top of her and pinned the Doctor's hands behind her head. "Okay then, boss. Tell me what you want."

Lauren smiled. "You."

"How?"

"In every way imaginable. And believe me when I say I have a _very_ active imagination."

Bo leaned over, kissed Lauren, and grinned. "In that case, I think I'll take the job."

**End of Part One**


	12. Good Vibrations

**Chapter Twelve – Good Vibrations**

Lauren flipped a flapjack high above her head. In one smooth motion she spun around, snatched a plate, and caught the pancake behind her back. She slid the dish across the countertop, into Bo's waiting hands.

Bo clapped, and Lauren took a bow. "I'm starving." The Succubus said, tilting the bottle and drowning her breakfast in a sea of maple syrup.

"I'm not surprised. Human beings, and presumably Fae, burn a significant number of calories during sexual activity. And considering your, shall we say, _stamina_, it's only natural that your appetite would be particularly voracious this morning." Lauren tossed another pancake in the air, and Bo grinned. The Doc was wearing a t-shirt, and nothing else. When Lauren lifted her arms to catch the pancake, Bo caught a brief glimpse of one lusciously hot backside.

"I'm shocked that you can even stand up, let alone do breakfast gymnastics." Bo took a bite, and washed it down with an ice cold glass of milk.

Lauren laughed, and sat across the corner from Bo. "I'm in excellent physical condition."

"I can see that." Bo winked.

"You know," Lauren grabbed what was left of the syrup, and poured a little over her food, "I'm a little bit surprised you're even here this morning."

"What do you mean?"

"I assumed that a Succubus would be more the type to hit and run." She took a bite of her pancake.

Bo's face fell. "You want me to go home?"

"You did just blow through almost half a bottle of maple syrup. You broke my picture frame. My bedroom is a mess. You haven't exactly been the most considerate houseguest."

"I also gave you the best sex of your life."

"Meh." Lauren shrugged. "It was okay."

"What do you mean, just _okay_?" Bo's eyes flashed.

Lauren grinned. "For a Fae that feeds on sex, you're awfully sensitive the morning after."

"I'm just not used to being someone's second best, that's all."

Lauren sucked a breath between her teeth. "I don't know about second. Third, for sure, but not second." She took another bite. "A distant third."

Bo dropped her fork on the counter with a clang, her pancake forgotten. Lauren fought the urge to laugh. "_Third_?" Bo growled.

"A _distant_ third." Lauren looked at the clock. "You could try and improve your standing. I don't need to be at work for another sixty minutes." She smirked, and licked the syrup off her fork.

Bo frowned. "You're trying to get under my skin."

"No, I'm trying to get under your clothes."

Bo stared at the grinning Doctor. Without warning, she stood up and swept the plates off the counter, sending glass shattering across the kitchen floor. She reached across the counter and pulled Lauren up by her underarms.

"Why do you keep breaking my things?" Lauren laughed, as Bo spun her around.

"Shut up." Bo kissed her fiercely, and pulled Lauren's t-shirt over her head.

"Who's going to clean that mess?"

"Shut the hell up, and lay back." Bo licked her lips. "You're about to find out that I'm nobody's _third_."

* * *

The Morrigan sat at her desk, and picked up the Entertainment section of the Toronto Star. Her boy toy and his band of dreamboats were number one on the charts again. She was raking in the cash, feeding off their talent. Her career couldn't be going better. But The Morrigan was concerned. Someone – some abysmally stupid someone with a death wish – had dared to break into her compound, into her own bedroom, and steal something that belonged to her. If she didn't find the people responsible, she would lose face and faith among the Dark.

Lizzie hustled into the office, looking upset. She bowed deeply. "Ma'am, you have a visitor."

The Morrigan pulled out her cell phone and checked her calendar. "I have my morning cleared for a massage and a facial. Send them away."

"I'm sorry ma'am, she arrived unannounced. It's The Ash, ma'am."

The Morrigan raised an eyebrow. "Ballsy move, showing up in Dark Territory. Send her in." She swiveled her chair and crossed one tanned leg over the other.

Lizzie bowed and practically ran out of the room. She was replaced by the sleek, sophisticated form of Val Santiago, The Ash. Val strode confidently across the room in six inch heels and a tight black dress to match the best The Morrigan herself owned. She sat across the desk from her Dark Fae counterpart, and smiled.

The Morrigan smirked. "You're looking awfully put together for a woman wading through a shit storm the size of a hurricane."

"One must appear composed, confident, and unaffected at all times. Yes, a Light Fae elder was murdered in my family home. But the situation is being taken care of. And no one liked Arthur Naia anyway." Val looked at her fingernails before continuing. "How is your head?"

The Morrigan grimaced, and tilted her head forward so her long brown hair spilled around her face, covering four fingertip-shaped burns along each side. "Just fine, thank you. I'm told the burns will dissipate within a few days. Scarring won't be a problem."

"And the internal damage?"

"My dear, a pain eater cannot feed on what doesn't exist." The Morrigan waved a dismissive hand. "I have no pain, and no regrets."

"None at all?"

"Well, I _do_ regret not taking my time with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Thirty-five was much too young to lose such a massive talent. Live and learn, I suppose. Everything in moderation."

Val shook her head. "You're unbelievable."

"Tell me, how did a Fae with such a useless ability end up as leader of the Light?" The Morrigan chuckled. "Stealing voices? Someone was spawned in the shallow end of the gene pool."

"Careful." Val pointed at the newspaper. "I'll take your cash cow away. Those boys can't sing if they can't speak."

"Is this why you're here? To threaten me?"

"Not in the least. I simply enjoy a bit of verbal sparring in the morning."

"As do I. But other obligations await. I'm a busy and important woman. State your business."

"Is that an order?"

The Morrigan sighed. "It's a respectful request, from one powerful woman to another."

Val frowned, and leaned forward. "I think we have a mutual problem."

"Go on?"

"We've both been made to look foolish in our own homes. We've both had artifacts of immense power stolen from underneath our noses. You, with so many fighting to usurp you, cannot afford this. And I, still new in this position, need to assert my authority. I'd love a chance to flex my muscles, so to speak. It stands to reason that both the Llangareth and Orsedd Stone were taken by the same person.

"A sensible conclusion. Have your brother Hale and his dog made any progress in their investigation?"

"We know the Boraro was manipulated into allowing the culprit to pass through our barrier."

"Did he give up a _name_?" The Morrigan snapped.

"No."

She rolled her eyes. "You pansy ass tree hugging hippies couldn't even…"

"I assure you, our interrogation techniques were thorough. The Boraro is still in recovery. He has no memory of making any deals," Val said.

"And where does that leave us?"

"If our mysterious thieves went after the Llangareth and Orsedd Stones, they are almost certainly after the Siancyn as well."

"Where is it?"

"No one knows. It disappeared somewhere in Europe during the Black Death, in 1349."

The Morrigan grimaced. "Ugh. What a disgusting time. Bodies in the streets, flies everywhere. Humans make the worst messes, even when they're dead. Especially when they're dead. I spent three years in Africa to avoid the stench. I met the most talented shaman…that man could charm the pants off a…never mind." The Morrigan stopped abruptly at Val's amused gaze.

"Anyway…" Val suppressed a laugh, "I have a man on my side who thinks he can find the Siancyn."

The Morrigan leaned back in her chair. "Let me guess. It's that meddlesome way station keeper…what's his name? Kerry? Dougal? O'Grady?"

"Trick. His name is Trick."

"And how does our ambitious cocktail mixer plan on accomplishing this?"

"He didn't say. But we need to let him try. Trick also told me about the legend that accompanies the stones…"

"Yeah, yeah. Vague prophecies, immense power, blah blah blah. I've heard it all before. Do we know, for a _fact_ what these stones can do?"

Val sighed. "The Siancyn was hidden for good reason. Whoever holds all three stones holds the capability to render their victims powerless."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, the holder can take your Fae abilities from you. Permanently. Leaving you virtually human."

The Morrigan involuntarily shook. "A fate worse than death."

"Agreed." Val nodded. "It's imperative that we find the Siacyn before the thieves do. It isn't just our reputations on the line, but our lives."

"What _would_ you do if you couldn't steal people's voices?"

Val narrowed her eyes. "You're a bitch."

The Morrigan laughed heartily. "Honey, you have no idea."

"Do we have an agreement? We pool our resources, find the stone, find these Fae…"

"And rip them to shreds." The Morrigan rubbed her palms together and smirked. "You have a deal." She stuck out a hand. Val cautiously shook it.

"Trick will need access to your archives."

"Done." The Morrigan still hadn't let go of Val's hand. "I'll have the key sent to the Dal this afternoon. And sweetie?" She grinned lasciviously at Val. "From one powerful woman to another, you come visit any time you'd like." She winked, and ran her thumb along The Ash's hand.

"I'll keep that in mind." Val stood and smoothed out her dress. "But don't get your hopes up."

* * *

"This is your ride?" Bo raised an eyebrow as Lauren wheeled a neon green motorcycle from her garage.

"She's not just my ride, she's my baby." Lauren ran a hand along the bike's metallic curves. "This is a Yamaha YZF-R1. Top of the line sport bike."

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a biker chick." Bo grinned, pleasantly surprised by this new development.

"What do you think I have all these kickass leather jackets for?" Lauren winked, and grabbed a helmet. "You think I just stand on corners with my jacket and my hair slicked back, spouting philosophy smoking cigarettes and picking up chicks? I'm the real thing." She kissed Bo's forehead and plunked the helmet down on the Succubus' head. "What's your excuse, Miss Leather Pants?"

"I'm in it for the fashion." Bo's voice was muffled by the helmet.

"Kinky." Lauren slipped a helmet over her blonde hair. "How did you get here last night?" She asked, tightening the straps.

"Taxi. My car wouldn't start."

"I can take a look at it, if you want." Lauren threw her leg over the seat and straddled the bike. "I'm good at getting a motor running."

Bo smiled behind her helmet. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Nope. Hop on." She motioned for Bo to climb on behind her. Bo slid in, putting her feet on the pegs and pressing her body against Lauren's. Lauren pulled Bo's arms securely around her waist. "Now hold on tight, I don't want you falling off."

"I'm not going anywhere." Bo slid her hands under Lauren's jacket and shirt.

"And no fooling around either." Lauren slapped at Bo's fingers. "Not while I'm driving, got it?"

"Sorry." Bo dutifully pulled her hands away, wrapping them around Lauren's waist, outside the clothes. "I'll be good."

Lauren rolled her eyes, and in one swift motion kick started the bike. She revved the engine with the handlebars, and Bo's eyes shot open from shock at the vibration between her thighs. "Holy shit," she whispered.

"You ready?" Lauren asked.

Bo didn't answer, overcome by the warmth that was slowly building between her legs.

"Bo?" Lauren shouted.

"Yeah…yeah, let's go." She patted Lauren's stomach as a signal and Lauren popped the clutch, sending them speeding down the long driveway and swerving on to a residential road.

"What's the quickest way to your house?" Lauren yelled over the engine's roar.

Bo gulped and tried to focus. "Um. Uh. Um."

Lauren grinned. Judging by the way Bo was squirming, and the suddenly vice tight grip she had on the Doctor's jacket, Lauren was pretty sure she knew what was happening to the woman behind her. "You okay?" Lauren chuckled. She pressed the clutch and revved the engine, sending an unexpected flood through the Succubus. "You awake back there?"

Bo bit her lip, thankful Lauren couldn't see her face. "Yeah. Uh…just take McKee Avenue to the Warehouse District, as far as it goes."

"Got it." Lauren sped forward, and giggled when she heard Bo moan over the engines. She pulled onto an empty stretch of road. "It's quite the sensation, isn't it? That's 998ccs of power between your thighs." Lauren swerved the bike back and forth along the open road, revving the bike then cooling it back down, teasing and playing with the Succubus who was barely keeping control behind her.

"Do you know," Lauren shouted, "A woman can reach orgasm from just about anything if she's in the right state of mind. Exercise. Deep breathing. Foot massage. And most definitely the vibrations from a motorcycle." She grinned and popped a wheelie before taking off down the empty road, Bo moaning and groaning behind her.


	13. Whipped

**Chapter Thirteen – Whipped **

Lauren brought the bike to a stop next to the crack shack, and stared at the dilapidated building with mixed feelings of fascination and horror. She cut the engine, and Bo slowly uncurled her arms from the Doctor's waist.

"Mmm…I like motorcycles." She hummed, dragging her fingertips across Lauren's back before reaching up and removing her helmet. She grinned as she slid jelly-legged off of the bike. "You can take me for a ride anytime, Doc."

Lauren slipped her helmet off and brushed her hair with her fingers. She never took her eyes off of the building; it looked like it should have been condemned and burned to the ground a decade ago. "This is where you _live_?"

"Yep. Home sweet home."

Lauren walked up to the building and peeked through the boarded windows. "I don't even think I'd need to huff and puff to blow your house down. One tap with a finger ought to do it."

"Not that I'm questioning your finger talents or your ability to blow things, but this place is way more sturdy than it looks." Bo spun around and kicked at the boarded window as hard as she could. It stayed intact, and didn't even splinter. "See?"

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "It looks drafty."

"Eh, you get used to it."

"But what will you do in the wintertime? January in Toronto is damn cold."

Bo frowned. "I don't know. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"When we _come_, you mean," Lauren corrected her.

"Huh?"

"The phrase is, 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'. It's come. _Come_."

"Is that an order or a request?" Bo grinned mischievously.

Lauren groaned and did a facepalm.

"Impressive use of innuendo, right?"

"I'm choosing to ignore you." Lauren bit her cheek to keep from smiling. "On a serious note, you need to be careful in places like this. You run the risk of contracting Hantavirus, Leptospirosis, and Hemorrhagic Fever from vermin droppings, mold sickness from spores in floorboards and walls…"

"What, are you my Doctor now?"

"Let's just say I have a vested interest in keeping your body working at peak physical performance." Lauren winked.

"Nice one, Doc. But you don't have to worry. No mold, no rats, no cockroaches – no pests of any kind except for my roommate. It's really nice on the inside, for a place without walls. And we have a snack machine so…score! Want to come in and see?"

"I can't," Lauren replied. "I'm already running late. I'll take a rain check though…I've never been the houseguest of a couple of squatters."

"Ugh," Bo grimaced, "I hate that word. Squatters. We're more like…domestic freeloaders." Bo walked towards the front door, and Lauren followed. "You're sure you don't want to come in? I can give you a tour. The kitchen, the lounge. The master bedroom." Bo ran her hand up Lauren's arm. "I have these great red satin sheets…you'd look amazing all wrapped up in 'em."

"Really, I can't." Lauren pulled back.

"What's next, then?" Bo tried to hide her disappointment.

"I already have a meeting set up with Hale, Ciara, and Dyson tonight. 8pm sharp, at the Dal. I'll propose bringing you in."

"And Kenzi?"

Lauren sighed. "And Kenzi, if she proves that she can contribute. I don't make these decisions by myself. It's always been a team thing with us. So the others will have to sign off on both of you. Think of this like a job interview. You need to nail it."

Bo grinned. "Nail it?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Succubus!" Lauren flicked her forehead. "Figure out how to convince them you're a valuable asset or this whole thing will be over before we even get started."

"That would be a real shame." Bo stepped into Lauren's space, and whispered in her ear. "Because I have _so _much to offer."

"You really _don't_ ever turn yourself off, do you?" Lauren laughed.

"Why turn myself off when it's so much more fun turning you on?" Bo reached down into Lauren's jeans. Bo felt Lauren respond as her aura blazed white hot, but the Doctor simply kissed her on the cheek and backed away. She walked backward toward the bike, staring at the Succubus the entire time with big brown eyes. "I'll see you tonight. Don't be late."

"See you," Bo waved. "And hey, Doc?"

"Yeah?"

"Something for you to think about at work today…" Bo lifted her shirt up, flashing Lauren a quick shot of boobs.

Lauren backed right into her bike. She toppled over the other side and landed on her back with a pathetic, 'oof'.

"HAHAHAHA!" Bo doubled over on her stoop, dying from laughter, clutching her sides to keep from coming apart at the seams as Lauren struggled to disentangle herself from the bike. She shot to her feet and dusted off her jacket.

"I meant to do that!" She shouted.

"Of course you did." Bo managed to choke out between roars. Lauren plunked her helmet on her head to hide the tomato red blush on her cheeks. She revved the engine, drowning out the Succubus' laughter, and tried to maintain some illusion of 'coolness' as she sped away.

* * *

"I'm home!" Bo shouted, as she practically skipped into the living room.

"Not so looooud," Kenzi groaned. All Bo could see of her was a boot clad foot hanging over the edge of the couch. "Some of us are trying to die in peace."

Bo grinned and started a pot of coffee. "Rough night?"

"Hard to say. The last thing I remember is doing shots with a banshee…everything gets fuzzy after that. I vaguely remember dancing on the pool table…oh God, I think there was a Britney Spears song involved." Kenzi's face contorted into an expression of horror. "What are the chances that everyone at the Dal last night caught amnesia and forgot I was ever there?"

"Slim to none." Bo sat next to her. "Besides, with cell phone cameras you're probably up on YouTube by now. You're going to be a celebrity. Congratulations." Bo leaned over and kissed Kenzi's forehead. "Oh…wow…you _reek_ like cheap vodka."

"I'm Russian…that's our natural fragrance. We sweat fermented potatoes. It's like pheromones for alcoholics." Kenzi rolled over.

"First of all, _ew_, second of all, I think it's time to stage an intervention. Someone as tiny as you shouldn't be putting down so much booze every other night."

"You feed on sex. I feed on alcohol." Kenzi finally forced herself into a sitting position, her pink wig askew. She licked her bone dry lips and narrowed her eyes at Bo. "Speaking of feeding, you're looking pretty 'full' this morning."

Bo grinned.

"Let me guess…that sexy Romanian incubus, Aurelian?"

"Nope."

"Probably for the best. If you two hooked up the headboard banging might knock the Earth off its axis and throw us into the Faepocalypse." Kenzi yawned. "Was it that rich Loki asshole, Ryan?"

"Nope."

"You're too good for him anyway." Kenzi said. "Did you finally figure out how to recycle your own chi through uber masturbation?"

"No, but I haven't given up on that yet."

"Well, I'm out of ideas then. Who was the lucky victim?"

Bo's smile widened. "I spent the night with Lauren."

"Oh, thank GOD. It's about damn time." Kenzi patted Bo's cheeks. "Mopey, sexually frustrated Bo is my _least_ favorite Bo. So…how was it?"

"It was…good." Bo got up and nonchalantly walked to the kitchen.

"Are you for real? That's it? All I've been hearing about with you for the last couple of weeks is Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, you finally seal the deal with her and all you'll tell me is that it was 'good'? I call bullshit!"

"Okay, fine." Bo grinned as she poured Kenzi a cup. "It was – _incredible_. That woman knows how to keep a girl satisfied. And those _fingers_…"

"On second thought, I don't need the details." Kenzi frowned, as Bo rejoined her on the couch and handed her a steaming mug of coffee. "Are you going to see her again?"

"Actually, _we_ are going to see her tonight."

Kenzi sighed. "Listen Bo, I know you want all up in this hotness but I already told you I don't roll that way. Besides, threesomes are _not_ as sexy as they're made out to be. Someone always ends up on the ass end, and someone always gets jealous, and then everyone's feelings get hurt and you can't even talk to the guys anymore because things are awkward, and screwing your friends ends up screwing your friendships."

Bo raised an eyebrow. "You know this from personal experience?"

"…no…" Kenzi cradled her coffee mug and took a sip.

"Uh huh. I wasn't even talking about a threesome, you little freak. We're meeting Lauren at the Dal tonight. Her, and the rest of the Doc Squad."

"Why the hell would we do that?"

"She thinks we should work together. She wants us to join her team."

Kenzi spit her coffee back into the mug. "Shit, Bo! She has you whipped already."

"I'm not whipped!"

"You are! Since when do you join teams and pick sides? You're the dictionary definition of 'indecisive'."

"This is purely a business move."

"Apparently business, as in 'none of mine' since you didn't even bother to call and ask me what _I_ thought about it."

"Listen, it makes sense. If we're constantly competing against them for jobs, it'll cut in to our profits."

"Guess what, math genius? Splitting a take six ways is gonna cut into our profits too." Kenzi threw her hands up. "If you're afraid of a little competition, let's just pack up our shit and move somewhere else."

"I'm sick of moving. I like it here, and I want to stay."

"Because you're whipped." Kenzi snapped an imaginary whip. "Whhpssshhh."

"Stop that."

"Whhpssshhh!"

"Kenzi!"

"Whpsh." Kenzi flicked her wrist. Bo glared back. She lifted her hands next to Kenzi's ear, and clapped them together as hard as she could. The sound tore through Kenzi's brain like a dagger.

"Oh….my hangover!" She groaned and slid to the floor.

"I warned you," Bo said.

"That was mean." Kenzi covered her eyes with her hand.

"Aren't you tired of being a gypsy, Kenz? If we stay here, we'll make enough money to pay back what we owe in no time. But I won't make the decision for both of us. You're my best friend, and I'll only take the gig if you're in it with me." Bo held out her hand to help Kenzi up.

"Playing the BFF card, huh? I see how it is." Kenzi frowned. "You really want to play with the Doctor?"

"Yes. A lot."

Kenzi grumbled, but she allowed Bo to pull her back up onto the couch. "You aren't going to get all clingy and relationship-y are you? Because I'll vomit on your shoes."

"I promise, this is not a relationship thing. This is a work thing, and a sex thing."

"A work thing and a sex thing." Kenzi sighed. "Fine. I'm in. But don't expect me to get freaky with Cujo, Tweety Bird or Princess Sparkle."

Bo stared at Kenzi, and shook her head. "Oh, they are just going to _loooooove_ you."

* * *

Lauren tossed her jacket and bag on the lab table, and grabbed her trusty clipboard and pen. She didn't realize there was someone else in the lab until she heard Dyson's familiar "Ahem." She turned toward her desk, where the Shifter sat in her chair, his muddy feet propped up on her mahogany desk, looking every bit the bad dog.

"Where have you been?" He inquired, amused. He didn't really need to ask…he knew exactly where she'd been. He could smell the Succubus on Lauren's clothes. But Dyson enjoyed giving Lauren a hard time at every possible opportunity.

"Around," Lauren shrugged.

"Uh huh." Dyson grinned. "Just around? Not over, or under, or…"

Lauren threw her pen at him. "Do you want a play-by-play of my sex life, you pervy old man?"

"Not at all. Just don't ever think you can hide anything from me. The nose knows." He leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "And have some respect, I'm old enough to be your great great great great great great..."

Lauren held up a hand. "I'm just gonna stop you right there." She pushed his feet off the desk. "Have you made any progress on the Naia murder?"

Dyson sighed. "No. We went through Trick's phone book and interviewed every single Fire Fae that passed through the region in the last few years, but all of them had an alibi. Whoever killed Naia, they didn't check in at the way station."

"Use your common sense, Dyson. If a Fae is coming to town to kill a man and steal a priceless artifact, he's not going to announce his presence to the whole city."

"Well what did _you_ find out, Doogie Howser?"

"The burn scars are…wait," Lauren grinned, "you know who Doogie Howser is?"

"I watch TV sometimes," Dyson said, defensively. "Does that surprise you?"

"It does. I thought you spent all your free time running naked through the forest, howling at the moon and chasing your tail."

Dyson winked. "Only on the weekends. Now, impress me with your mad coroner skills."

Lauren tapped her clipboard, and slid easily into Doctor mode. "No incendiary device was used, so we can state with 98% certainty that the killer was Fae. Based on the burn signature and severity, we can safely assume that our assailant was not an Aosaginohi, a Kapre, a Surtr or a Lampad."

"So…what was it?"

"Unfortunately I still don't know. But at least we've ruled out a sizeable chunk of the Fire Fae population."

"These people are making us look foolish," Dyson muttered. "We could really use a win right now. Hell, I'd settle for a tie at this point."

"You'd be surprised by how fulfilling a tie can be." Lauren grinned at her private joke. "Do you have any leads on a job? You know…outside work? A little moonlighting gig?"

"Possibly," Dyson said. "We'll talk about it at the Dal tonight."

"How difficult of a job, on a scale of one to ten?"

"An eight, at least. It's a tough one."

"My favorite kind," Lauren rubbed her hands in anticipation.

"On the subject of favorites." Dyson pulled out a paper bag, "Submitted for your approval, one blueberry Danish. Food for the body and mind."

Lauren snatched the bag and opened it, inhaling the sweet smell of dough and cream cheese. "Mmmmm. Dyson I love you, did you know that? How will I ever repay you?"

Dyson stood, and straightened his vest. "Find out what killed Arthur Naia, and your pastry debt is paid. I'll see you tonight." He clapped her on the shoulder and left her alone in the lab with her lunch.


	14. Valuable Assets

**Chapter Fourteen – Valuable Assets**

Lauren paced back and forth in front of the Dal, swearing under her breath. She checked her watch. 8:05. She kicked a cigarette butt from the sidewalk into the sewer drain, doing her part to keep the streets of Toronto beautiful. "Damn it Bo," she muttered, tapping her foot impatiently, arms crossed over her chest. She'd told Bo to be here fifteen minutes early, and Bo was five minutes late. She checked her cell phone. No voice mails, no texts.

Ciara, Dyson, and Hale were already inside, on their first round of the night. Lauren had bought them all Long Island Iced Teas, in the hopes that a little social lubrication would make her proposition go more smoothly. This was going to be a hard enough sell already, but _seriously_ Bo…how difficult was it to get somewhere on time?

"It's the roommate's fault, I know it," she thought to herself. Bo was going to be an asset, but the sidekick, Kenzi, was baggage. A 30.5 inch Samsonite suitcase jam-packed with dumbbells and flour sacks, stuffed so full you'd need a belt to keep the zipper from bursting.

A taxi tore around the corner, tires squealing. "Finally!" Lauren threw her hands in the air as the cab screeched to a stop in front of her and Bo burst from the rear passenger door.

"Kenzi get the fare!" She shouted. Lauren couldn't hear Kenzi's muffled response, but Bo shouted back, "It's your fault we're late, you're paying! I don't even want to hear it!" Bo smiled apologetically at Lauren, and stepped around the cab.

Lauren's anger dissipated slightly when she got a good look at what the Succubus was wearing. She'd never seen business attire done quite so dirty. Bo wore six inch high heels, and a black pencil skirt that only covered about six inches worth of derriere and upper thigh. The bottom three buttons of her skin tight, white collared shirt struggled to contain Bo's impressive cleavage, and Lauren wondered how they were even holding up.

"Sorry we're late. How do I look?" Bo flashed another grin.

"Like a stripper playing CEO. Or a CEO playing high class hooker," Lauren teased.

Bo snapped her fingers. "That's _exactly_ what I was going for. Do you like it?" She flattened her skirt and spun around, flipping her silky brunette hair gracefully like she was auditioning for a Pantene commercial.

"It's not bad." Lauren shrugged, biting her lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. "I'm sure Hale will be drooling over you all night."

"Two down, two to go." Bo winked. "Any tips to win Ciara and Wolfy over?"

"Well…" Before Lauren could elaborate further, Kenzi hopped up onto the curb and did an awkward jig.

"Onion breath cabbie tried to hit on me. I gave him a fake phone number and he dropped the fare." She kissed Bo' cheek. "I don't even need Succu-powers to be awesome. You hear that Blondie? Tiny, sexy awesomeness – reason numero uno you need me on the Doc Squad."

"Any points gained by tiny awesomeness were lost by considerable tardiness," Lauren replied.

"I'm sure you haven't been invited to many parties, Doc, but even someone like you should know what it means to be 'fashionably late'. Emphasis on the fashion." She spun around in her black skirt and fishnets.

"You look like a reject from the goth loli short bus."

"Oooh, clever." Kenzi mock clapped. She leaned in and whispered to Bo, "This one has potential."

Lauren rolled her eyes, and looked at her watch. "Remember Bo, think of this like a job interview."

"Don't worry. I'm going to nail it, just like you said." She winked.

"Okay then. Let's go."

* * *

"Not a chance in the Seven Hells," Dyson growled. He, Lauren, Ciara, Hale, and Bo were seated around a table in the corner of the Dal. Kenzi hovered over Bo's shoulder like a vulture, perched on a high bar stool, peeling the label from her Killian's Irish Red. Not her beer of choice, but it came for free so she wasn't going to bitch about it.

Lauren sighed. "Dyson…"

He slammed his hand on the table, interrupting her. "This woman is our competition. We can't trust her!"

Lauren rolled her eyes. When Dyson was threatened, his personality shifted into 'petulant and aggressive' mode. It was an extremely unattractive and undeniably 'male' response. "Evidently you don't trust _me_ either," she snapped. "I wouldn't have proposed the idea if I didn't think Bo could be a valuable asset."

"Oh, I don't doubt that you _value_ her _assets_." Dyson smirked. "But skills between the sheets aren't a justifiable reason to bring someone in. You fucking someone doesn't mean the rest of us should get fucked."

Hale raised his hand. "Just for the record, I am volunteering myself for the fuckage."

Ciara shook her head, and ignored the Siren. "Dyson, don't you think you're being unreasonable? Let's hear what they have to say, at least."

Dyson leaned back, the front two legs of his chair tilted precariously in the air. For one wild second, Kenzi thought about tipping him over. But that probably wouldn't help their case. She picked at the beer label some more to keep her hands occupied.

"This is ridiculous," Dyson said. "If I asked everyone I've ever slept with to join the team, we could field an army battalion."

"You could call yourselves the 'Fighting Syphilli'," Kenzi quipped. Lauren bit her cheek to keep from laughing.

"As I recall, that's how I got the position," Ciara said. "Sleeping with you two."

"Nah, we needed your cash and connections, straight up." Hale teased. "The sex was just the very sweet icing on the cake."

"My vote is still no," Dyson grabbed his Long Island Iced Tea and took a long swig, as if that ended the matter.

Bo laughed. "You know, it's hard to take you seriously when you have a tuft of hair sticking out from your neck beard…just _there_."

"Oh yeah." Kenzi bent over for a closer look. "Could be mange. You're lookin' a little red too, so maybe fleas. Hey Doc, you better get your dog to the vet ASAP." She shot her hand out and plucked a whisker from his beard. He snapped his head back from surprise, and almost fell off the chair.

"Come on Doc," Hale laughed, "You gonna let them talk to your boy Dyson like that? Whatever happened to 'bros before hoes'?"

Lauren's eyes flickered with annoyance. "I don't know what kind of education system you grew up with during the Dark Ages, but you don't need a Human Anatomy class to recognize that I am in no way shape or form his 'bro'."

"Exhibit A." Kenzi framed Lauren's chest with her hands. "Ta-tas."

Lauren turned to look at Kenzi, flabbergasted. "Was that really necessary?"

"And I can vouch for the fact that she is completely penis-free," Bo added. Lauren caught Ciara's eye, and gave her a look that signaled, 'please help me get this back on track'.

Ciara cleared her throat to hide a chuckle. "So. Bo. What can you do, besides fill out a blouse?"

"I can touch my toes," she joked.

Lauren kicked Bo's shin under the table.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Bo grinned. "Get up," she told Hale.

"Yes ma'am." He popped up from his chair like a jack-in-the-box, bouncing on his feet and smiling widely. "Whad'ya want me to do?"

"Just stand there," she stepped toward him, lustily catching his eyes with her own. She gently caressed both his hands, and sent suggestive red energy through his bloodstream to his brain. Hale's eyes went vacant, his jaw slack. Bo leaned close and whispered something in Hale's ear that not even Dyson's dog ears could hear, then stepped back to admire her handiwork. Hale simply stood in place and stared forward.

"What did you do to him?" Ciara asked. She furrowed her brow as Hale started to snap his fingers rhythmically.

"Whoa!" Dyson shouted, as Hale did a two-footed leap onto the table and started to roll his hips and sway his arms back and forth. Dyson cleared his throat, "Uh, Hale? Buddy?"

Hale held a fist to his mouth like a microphone, took a deep breath, and let it fly:

"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU!"

"Oh my god," Lauren watched in horror.

"NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY, NEVER GONNA SAAAY GOODBYE, NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU!" Hale did a split on the table and threw his arms into the air, cheerleader style.

Silence in the Dal. You could hear a pin drop, as all of the Fae stared at the Doc Squad.

"Yeeeyah!" Kenzi stood up and whooped, "Y'all just got Rick Rolled, bitches!" Trick whistled loudly from behind the bar, pounding the counter in approval. The pub crowd went wild. Lauren simply stared, amazed by how poorly the night was going, while next to her Bo, Kenzi, and Ciara doubled over in uncontrollable laughter.

The noise slowly brought Hale around from his Succu-haze. He shook his head to get the cobwebs out, and looked around at the standing ovation he was getting. "What the _Hell_ just happened? And why does my groin hurt?" He looked down, and realized his legs were pointing in opposite directions.

That would explain it.

"AAAAH!" He shouted, more from shock than pain. "Help me up, help me up!" He screamed. Ciara tried to suppress her laughter as she held out her arms. He grabbed them for dear life, then bent forward while Dyson slowly, slowly, _carefully_ pulled Hale's legs back together.

"Dudes aren't meant to bend that way." Hale winced as he sat up and slid off the table. "What did you do to me?" He glared at Bo. She wiped a tear from her cheek as a few stray giggles escaped.

"I had you in my thrall. Temporarily. I controlled you by touch. You would have done anything I asked you to…break a bottle over your head, beat up your wolf friend, or dance and sing to an 80s song." She crossed her arms over her chest, pleased with herself. "Now tell me _that_ isn't a skill worth having."

"You're weak, bro," Dyson mumbled to his partner.

"Screw you. Why don't you nut up and give it a go, if you think you're tougher than me?"

Dyson looked at Bo. She wriggled her fingers playfully. He frowned. "I'll pass."

"Wimp," Hale muttered.

"Just think," Bo said, "if you had me on your team you wouldn't need to sneak past any guards. They'd turn over the keys to the castle willingly, with smiles on their faces."

Hale winced. "Yeah they'll smile until you make 'em break their balls."

Kenzi laughed. "What's the point of controlling a guy if you can't break his balls?"

"I like you already," Ciara held up her glass, and clinked Kenzi's beer bottle. "So, Bo the Succubus, what else can you do?"

"I read sexual energy. I can tell you that the Wolfman wants to jump your bones."

Dyson glared at Bo. If looks could kill, Bo would have been flayed alive.

Ciara smiled. "Useful information to be sure, but not something that will do us much good in a life or death situation. What else do you have?"

Bo looked around the room. She spotted the Loki, Ryan, hitting on some woman at the bar. He had tried the same thing on Bo, on multiple occasions, but she didn't fall for his game. "Okay. See that guy over there?" She pointed him out to the others, and they nodded. "Watch carefully."

Bo's irises turned a brilliant, glowing blue. Her eyes locked on to Ryan's and she breathed in ever-so-slightly. Ryan coughed, as a thin wisp of blue vapor, barely noticeable in the dimly lit Dal, floated across the room and into Bo's hungry mouth.

Lauren waited to see Ryan's reaction. Aside from the cough he didn't even seem to notice he was being drained. Lauren heard Bo inhale sharply, and Ryan's expression changed completely. His face turned white, his hands gripped the bar. Bo was draining the life right out of him. Is that what had happened to her the other night, when she slept with the Succubus? Is _that_ what she needed to worry about?

"Shit a brick." Lauren muttered, as Ryan slumped to the ground in an unconscious heap, sucked dry like an overcooked turkey. The girl he was with looked down at him, then glanced around the room to make sure no one was watching. She grabbed his wallet and sprint-walked away.

"Damn," Kenzi muttered. "Bitch beat me to it."

Ciara turned to Bo, her mouth agape. "Is he dead?"

"No. Not even close. I sucked enough energy to make him very sleepy. But don't worry. He'll be okay in a few minutes."

"You can suck chi from a distance?" Lauren marveled.

"Absolutely. And again…picture that as a cave troll, or a dragon. I could take them out by sucking their energy before we even need to get up close."

"Wow." Ciara said, clearly impressed.

"Double wow," Hale added. "I heard that the Morrigan keeps a dragon in her basement. Do dragons have ears, or are they like snakes? I don't know if my siren whistle would do much on a giant, deaf reptile thing."

"Actually," Lauren cut in, "snakes are not deaf. Although they lack an external ear or internal eardrum, their bones and particularly their jaws pick up vibrations and transmit them to a fully functional cochlea, where nerves pick up the signal and transmit it to the brain."

"Hear that? Your dream of being a snake charmer isn't dead yet." Kenzi winked at Hale.

"Enough!" Dyson slammed his fist on the table. "Yes, Succubus, you have a couple of impressive tricks. But it's not a question of what you can or can't do, it's a question of whether I can or can't trust you. You're unaligned, and that concerns me. It makes you a potential liability. I'm not even going to entertain the notion of taking you in until you tell me how you came to be neither Light nor Dark."

Bo shrugged. "I wasn't the popular kid. No one wanted me."

"Bullshit." Hale, Ciara, and Lauren said in unison.

Bo sighed. She caught the attention of a passing waitress. "Another round for the table, please. This is going to take a while."


	15. Systems of Control

**Chapter 15 – Systems of Control**

The waitress brought a round of rum and Cokes to the table – Bo's choice. Lauren watched the Succubus carefully. Bo fiddled around with her straw and took a long pull from her drink. "Okay. Who's ready for the backstory portion of our program?"

Kenzi made a big show about yawning. Everyone gave her a dirty look. "Oh come on, don't give me that. I can't be the only one who skims through stuff like plot and characterization to get to the juicy bits, right?"

"All due respect Kenzi, but the juicy bits mean more when they're part of a bigger story," Ciara said. "There is a good reason that Jane Austen has gone down in history for _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Sense and Sensibility_, and not her early forays into Regency Period pornography."

"I don't know 'bout that Ciara." Hale smirked. "_Knackered and Knickerless_ is one of my all-time favorites."

"Eh, it was okay," she replied. "But I preferred _Corsets and Cocks_."

"She wrote that about me, you know," Dyson said, pleased with himself.

Ciara gave him a sideways look. "_You're_ Richard Standing?"

He picked at his fingernails and grinned, acting blasé. "Yes, I am."

Lauren almost spat out her drink. "Jane Austen wrote a porno about you? And your name was Dick Standing?"

"Porno makes it sound so dirty. It was more like literotica. And yes, she did." He winked. "She may have written a few classics in her time, but it was the adult novels sold in the back alleys of London that paid the bills."

"I hope you collected royalties out of it," Hale said.

"Where do you think I got the money for my summer cottage in the Scottish Highlands?"

Kenzi snorted. "Did she pay you by the word, the minute, or the inch?"

"No matter which of the three, I came out a very rich man," he winked.

"HEY!" Bo cut in. "I thought we were talking about me?"

Lauren's head swiveled from Dyson to Bo…her insatiable curiosity for all things Succubus was the only thing that could tear her attention from Dyson's old English porn career. "Sorry…we're listening now. Tell us, how did you come to be unaligned?"

Bo took a deep breath. "I was adopted, from an orphanage outside of Omaha. I still don't know who my real mother and father are, and my parents did not have any idea that I was Fae. We lived in a very small town in Nebraska. So, I'm technically American."

"Ugh." Ciara, Dyson, Hale and Lauren recoiled simultaneously.

"Yeah, I know I know. I've heard it all before. Anyway, I grew up in a very religious family, constantly being told that I was a sinner, born evil and I had to fight my inherently bad human nature. Not eating my green beans was a sin. Staying up past my bedtime was a sin. Playing doctor with my next door neighbor, Kyle, was a sin."

"Well yeah, to that last one," Ciara teased. "Dirty minded little girl, you were."

"Everything I did was a sin, everything I said made God cry, and sex before marriage was a one way ticket to hell. That's how I was brought up. Aside from the heavily religious background, I grew up thinking I was the same as everyone else. I had no idea there was anything wrong or different about me. Until I turned sixteen."

"That's when she became a maniacal sex fiend Chi Hoover."

"Shut up and let me tell the story, would you Kenz?"

"Sorry."

"I didn't know anything about sex. All I knew is that I felt a hunger that I'd never felt before. In fact, all I_ really_ knew about it came from the Penthouse magazines I accidentally found in my dad's sock drawer, and the movie _Cruel Intentions_."

"All the Sex Ed you'd ever need. Ryan Phillippe is like sex on a stick."

"Shut up Kenz."

"I was more of a Sarah Michelle Gellar fan…"

"Lauren!"

"Sorry," Lauren turned her head to hide a blush.

Bo frowned. "Back then I didn't realize that the cravings I had weren't normal. I thought I was just a horny teenager. And for a long time I was able to ignore those feelings of need, hunger, and pure desire."

Lauren tapped her chin with a finger, pondering. "That must have taken a preternatural level of self-control…particularly for a pubescent Succubus Fae."

"Hellfire and eternal damnation is a powerful deterrent. Like I said, I grew up religious."

"Still…you must have felt like you were in Hell anyway. I remain impressed."

"Don't be. I didn't hold out for long." Bo sighed. "When I was seventeen, I started dating my neighbor, Kyle. We'd lived next door to his family my entire life, and I had a big crush on him. He was a year older than me. A senior. One night, he parked his truck by the lake and we started fooling around."

"Uh oh," Lauren whispered.

"I didn't understand what was happening to me. I just felt this…HUNGER. An overwhelming need to consume him, feed off his energy, and suck him dry."

"And _not_ in a good way," Kenzi chimed in. Bo stared daggers at her. "Yeah, I got it. 'Shut up Kenzi'. I'm shutting, I'm shutting."

"Instinct took over. I kissed him and pulled his chi from him…everything he had. It was the best damn thing I ever felt. When I was full and came back down to Earth, I looked down at Kyle. He wasn't moving, and he was barely even breathing. He had these marks all over his face where I'd kissed him. I freaked out…I didn't know what to do. All I knew is that he was hurt badly, and I was somehow responsible. I hopped into the front seat of the truck and drove to the closest hospital as fast as I could get that junker to go. I parked at the ER, flung him over my back and ran inside."

"Wait," Lauren interrupted. "If you sucked his chi, how was he still alive?"

"I'm getting to that. So, the doctors rushed Kyle into ICU and hooked him up to life support. I called his parents. And I straight up lied to them. I said we were at the drive in and I thought he'd had a seizure. They rushed over and I sat with them in the waiting room for three hours while we waited for news. Mr. and Mrs. Todd. I'd known them my entire life, and they were the nicest people you'd ever hope to meet. I couldn't even look at them, thinking I might have killed their son."

"Finally one of the doctors came out and told us Kyle was resting and in stable condition. The relief I felt in that moment…I'd never be able to describe it to you. Mr. and Mrs. Todd went in to see him, but I hung back. I didn't want Kyle to see me. A few minutes later Mr. Todd came out. White as a ghost. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chair, down the hall, out of the ER doors and into the grass outside the hospital building. We were alone, and I had no idea what was going on. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it was something like this:

_"Do you think this is funny? Huh? Get your kicks out of picking on us, Iike all the rest of them?"_

_ "Sir?" I said. _

_ "Me and my family, we're already second class citizens. And now we have to worry about fucking Fae teenagers getting their jollies out of attacking us!"_

_ "Mr. Todd, I don't…"_

_ "What are you, Light? Dark? You can bet your ass I'm taking this to the top…we trusted you! Your family! And they've been lying to us the whole time! They never bothered to mention that their daughter was a Succubus whore."_

_ "HEY! What are you talking about?" I grabbed his arm, and before I knew what was happening I felt some of my energy slide through my fingers and flow into his arm. He stopped pacing and got this faraway look on his face. I pulled back, because I was afraid I'd hurt him too. But he just smiled. _

_ "We're not human. We're not Fae. Being an Akvan is a bitch."_

_ I thought he was on crack. I tried to keep calm. "Mr. Todd, what's Fae? And Akvan? And what did you mean when you called me a Succubus?"_

_ "You really don't know?"_

_ "No!"_

Bo looked around at the Doc Squad members, one by one. "And that's how I found out that I was Fae. Outside a human hospital, from my Akvan neighbor, whose Akvan son I almost chi-sucked to death. I didn't believe him at first, until he took me to see The Sitka."

"The Sitka?" Lauren asked.

"She's the Light Fae leader of the Midwest Region." Dyson cut in. "Sitka is the name of a spruce."

"Crazy tree hugging hippies," Kenzi muttered.

"The Sitka offered me protection and training on how to control my powers, if I swore my fealty to the Light."

"So why didn't you?" Hale asked.

"Because I grew up in a household that was buried ten foot deep in doctrine, totally strict, under a black and white good and evil no-room-for-in-independent-thought religious structure. And I didn't want to trade one system of control for another."

Dyson looked at Bo, surprised by the answer. "You aren't as dim as you look."

"Gee thanks." Bo rolled her eyes. "After I turned down the Light, the Dark came calling. The Andarta was a bit more forceful. She threatened to kill my parents, unless I joined her side or left the region entirely."

"So you left," Lauren said.

"To protect my parents, yes. Mr. and Mrs. Todd got me in contact with an entire underground network of Akvans and unaligned Fae – there are hundreds of them all across North America. Through the Todds I was able to get in touch with an unaligned Succubus named Aoife, living off the grid in Manhattan."

"Aoife…" Dyson muttered.

"Do you know her?"

"No, but the name sounds familiar so I feel like I should."

"I stayed with her for almost three years. She was like a big sister to me. She taught me how to control my powers, and a few tricks of the trade like creating thralls and long distance Chi sucking."

"What happened to her?" Ciara asked.

"I don't know. I woke up one morning and there was a note on the kitchen table. She said she had to leave, but that I knew enough to survive on my own. I haven't heard from her since. She was my family, so losing her hurt like hell. I left New York and drifted around the country for a while, doing odd jobs and seasonal stuff. Eventually I got tired of the US and I crossed the border into Canada. I'm more of a cold weather gal anyway. Two years later I met my 'little sister'. Kenzi, you wanna take the story from here?"

"Moi?" Kenzi sat up on her stool. "You mean I'm allowed to talk now?"

"If you stay on topic and you keep the snark to a minimum," Lauren replied.

"Oh, why don't you go give a troll a rectal exam or something."

Actually, Lauren had done one just that afternoon. She'd worn eight layers of rubber gloves, and almost scrubbed the skin off of her knuckles cleaning them afterward. "How did you know about that?"

Kenzi's jaw dropped. "EW! DOC! TM-freakin-I! Anywho…" she clapped her hands together. "The Kenzi is talking, so sit back and listen up bitches..."


	16. Under the Table and Hiccuping

**Chapter Sixteen – Under the Table and Hiccuping**

"A'ight homies, here's the deal." Kenzi leaned forward on her stool. "I don't make smart choices. Like, there was the time when I was six and my friend Wendy told me if I ate crayons I would poo rainbows, so I polished off the whole box. Or the time in high school when my friend Bill dared me to bong a bottle of Jagermeister and I almost died from alcohol poisoning. Then there was the cheese grater incident…"

"Kenz? You're going off topic," Bo said.

"Right. The point is, I'm more of a go with your gut and let the shit hit the fan kind of girl. As long as I have an umbrella with me it's all gravy. When I met Bo the umbrella was upside down and inside out and full of holes."

Dyson frowned. "I have no idea what you just said. Can someone translate?"

"She's trying to say she was an idiot before she met me," Bo replied. "And she's right."

Kenzi continued. "As much as I'd love to go full _Aviator_ slash _Ali_ style biopic on your asses, I'm sticking with the third grade book report version. Just the basics, with bad grammar. Here goes: I was born on the prairies of Saskatchewan, where my dad was a wheat farmer…"

Lauren had ceased paying attention after "I was born". She wasn't much of a drinker, and her nervousness about the evening had caused her to imbibe a little more than normal. The various rounds of alcohol with their various takes on fermentation – barley, grapes, potatoes, sugarcane, agave – were taking their toll, churning through her stomach and small intestines, getting absorbed into her blood and distributed throughout her body in massive quantities, and starting to make her vision go hazy. She tried to decide whether the look Bo was shooting her way was one of seduction, irritation, or pity.

"…that's how I hacked my first system and earned a criminal juvenile record…"

Lauren took a sip of Southern Comfort and Lime – Hale's contribution to the mix. She tried to count how many centiliters of alcohol she had consumed, to give her brain something to do while Kenzi rambled. Long Island Iced Tea – one part each rum, vodka, gin, tequila, triple sec, each part 1.5 centiliters. Equaling 7.5 centiliters.

"…my juvee nickname was 'Special K'…"

Then there was the rum and coke – Lauren suspected from the pure concentration as opposed to dilution that the drink had been a double. So make that 9 centiliters plus the original 7.5.

Bo tried to catch Lauren's eyes, but the Doctor had that look on her face – mouth slightly open while behind her eyes the gears were clearly turning. Bo's horndogedness ramped up a notch as Lauren subconsciously bit her lower lip.

"…and I said, 'don't screw with me Lexi, I'll cut a bitch'…"

Dyson felt his attention wane and his eyelids droop. He couldn't believe Lauren had put them in such a ridiculous position. Six years they'd known each other, you'd think that would be enough for her to respect his opinions…or at least _listen_ to them. But _no_. Lauren Lewis was stubborn, and headstrong, and when she wanted something she got it, by God. Dyson snorted. Kenzi was undeterred by the sound, her lips still moving a thousand miles a minute.

"…two months in lockup and I came out a hardened criminal. I went to Vancouver to live with my cousin, Evgeni, and get away from my asshat stepdad…"

Dyson's patience was rapidly eroding. He turned to give Lauren a pissed off look, but she was staring out into space, oblivious to the world.

Lauren frowned. There was the beer, one bottle, 16 oz. That came to 35.5 centiliters. But how was this equation going to account for the fact that hard liquor was more powerful than beer? This would require much more thought. And what was that saying? 'Beer before liquor never been sicker'? Or was it 'liquor before beer, death my dear'? It had been way too long since her keg-stand-beer-bong-Never-Have-I-Ever college days.

"...Evi taught me how to pick pockets. One time I snatched the car keys from a cop. Evi mooned him as a diversion, and I drove away in the squad car. I dumped it in Lake Ontario. Serves him right for giving ME a ticket for jaywalking…"

Ciara nodded, listening intently to Kenzi's story.

Hale watched Ciara's head gracefully bobbing up and down on her slender neck.

Lauren chuckled silently to herself. She always lost at "Never Have I Ever". She'd done a _lot_ of stuff in her younger days.

Dyson's eyes flickered from Lauren to Bo. He snarled protectively. He didn't like the look the Succubus was giving his friend. Not one bit.

"…at one point the shooting guard for the Toronto Raptors owed us six thousand dollars and a Lexus GX…"

Lauren decided that the proper formula to monitor her alcohol consumption was C = .25x + y, where x equaled beer, y equaled hard liquor, and C equaled total consumption. Now to determine where she fell on the drunkenness scale…Buzzed? Tipsy? Inebriated? Drunk? Plastered? Shit-faced? Gone? All very scientific terms. She settled on somewhere between 'plastered' and 'shit-faced'.

"…that's what happens when you can't pay off a debt in Evi's poker game…public humiliation involving nudity, and lots of pain…"

Bo stared shamelessly at the Doctor, eyes turning a dim blue.

Dyson decided he'd had enough. He sunk down into his chair, reared his leg back, and kicked as hard as he could.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Hale screamed, clutching at what was left of his shin bone.

Kenzi finally stopped talking.

"Oh, Bro! I am sooooo sorry!" Dyson got up to check on his friend.

"What happened?" Lauren was pulled out of her mathematically proven state of drunkenness.

"You're sorry? Fuck, man!" Hale rubbed his leg and winced.

Kenzi looked around the table, annoyed that her story had been interrupted.

"Nice aim," Bo teased the Wolf. "I take it that was meant for me?" She got up and pushed Dyson out of the way. "Here," she pulled Hale's chin up to her face, and breathed some of her own Chi into the whimpering Siren. His features relaxed immediately, and a smile crept across his face. "Feel better?"

"Your breath is like sweet sweet morphine and oxycodone." Hale took a deep breath of his own. "I feel…amazing." He lifted his pant leg just in time to see an angry purple bruise as it faded away.

"Now _that's_ a neat _*hiccup!*_ trick." Lauren covered her mouth. "Excuse me." She giggled. "I hiccuped."

"HelllOOO?" Kenzi snapped her fingers. "Was _anybody_ listening to my story?"

"Yes," Ciara answered, while the others looked around the room, anywhere but Kenzi's accusing eyes. "You moved to Toronto, you worked with your cousin, and you were a wannabe gangster."

"Ha!" Lauren blurted out. "She just said in five seconds what took you five minutes." She took a drink of SoCo then raised her glass. "Succinct!"

Kenzi glared at Lauren. Dyson glared at Bo. Bo glared at Dyson. Hale grinned stupidly.

Lauren hiccuped.

Ciara rolled her eyes. "How did you meet Bo?"

"Right, back to my awesome story of awesomeness," Kenzi said. "So, I go with Evgeni to this billionaire's house. Evi says the dude wants to hire us to steal some sort of mucho dangerous self-replicating computer virus from his business rival. But there's something _off_ about the guy, I was thinkin'. Cause he's looking at me like he wants to eat me. And I don't mean in the fun sexy times way, I mean in the Kenzi on a platter with ketchup and Grey Poupon and a Caesar side salad kind of way. But we still took the job, because hot damn, a few million bucks is enough to supply me with cheese pizza and wine for _at least_ three years..."

Bo had heard all this before, and went back to staring at Lauren. This time Lauren noticed, and stared right back. Bo eyed her lustily, having finally gotten her undivided attention. She slipped a foot out of her high heels, and reached under the table with her leg. She poked one toe, and then another underneath the leg of Lauren's jeans. Bo watched with delight as the Doctor squirmed in her chair and her cheeks burned red.

"…so we broke in and we found the USB drive. But dude, the way this guy described the virus I just _had_ to check out the code for myself…"

Bo pulsed red into Lauren's skin. The Doctor blinked as she felt a familiar ache building between her legs. She almost cried out with disappointment when Bo pulled her foot away, winking, the very picture of a 'cock tease', minus the cock. 'Vag tease?' Lauren wondered.

"…but here's the thing. Mr. Moneybags thought the virus was meant to target defense satellites and government instillations. He planned on auctioning it to the highest bidder on the black market. But _really_, the virus was designed to go right for Moneybags' jugular. So as soon as I opened it up, freakin' Pandora's Safety Deposit Box got released. His private assets and the company's savings started flying off into untraceable offshore accounts. I plugged the hole, but almost 20 million dollars had already been sucked down the drain…"

Lauren playfully slid her fingertips along the collar of her shirt, opening it wider and exposing more skin.

Bo realized that she was really starting to like button down shirts.

Hale caught on to what was happening. He wished he had amphibian eyes so he could watch both women at once instead of swinging his head back and forth like a spectator at a tennis match.

Kenzi continued, oblivious to the fact that her audience had gone down by three. "…Evgeni ran for it. Still don't know where he is, the punk. Two bodyguards found me and dragged me back to Moneybags, kicking and screaming. I thought I was gonna get whacked. Moneybags in the Study with the Lead Pipe. Game over. I was ready to be whacked, but I _wasn't_ ready for the style of whacking…"

Lauren kicked her shoe off, with much less grace than Bo had. She reached low under the table, sliding her toes up a pant leg, her foot coming to rest in the general vicinity of a crotch. She wiggled her toes.

They came into contact with a certain piece of anatomy she _knew_ Bo didn't have.

"SERIOUSLY!" Hale shot up out of his chair. "What is wrong with you people? The SUCCUBUS is over HERE!" He gesticulated wildly at Bo. "If you really want some of this Doc, we can work something out. But at least have the self-respect to keep from toeing the testes until _after_ we get a room, kay?"

Ciara choked on her drink. "Toeing the testes?"

"HEY!" Kenzi slammed her palm on the table, making the others jump. "The more you keep interrupting, the longer this is gonna take! You wanna be here all night!?"

"No," they answered in unison.

"Then listen up, because this is important! Buncha freaks." She cleared her throat. Her outburst had earned her their undivided attention, as five pairs of eyeballs fell on the tiny, tiny human. "Okay. That's better."

"So I'm standing in front of Moneybags, ready to die. And the guy grins, but all of a sudden he has 9,000 freaking teeth, and he tells me he's gonna suck the marrow out of my bones and I'm all like, 'Whaaaaat? Listen Voldemort, this isn't a fairy tale. Is this some kind of joke? Are you gonna grind my bones to make your bread, you Jack's giant wannabe?'"

"Huh?" Hale looked at Dyson. Dyson shrugged.

"I guess my reaction caught the guy off guard. I think he thought I'd be too scared to even move, let alone talk back. But that's how I roll. And it bought me a few seconds. Then out of nowhere this one," she pointed to Bo, "comes swinging down from the chandelier like Tarzan at a debutante ball. She sucked the juice out of Moneybags and his guards and picked me up under her arm. We booked it out of there like Usain Bolt on caffeine pills."

Bo cut in. "I was there on outside business. 'Moneybags' was actually a Naga named George Lachlan. I hear his brother used to be your Ash."

"Small world," Ciara said.

"Anyway," Bo continued, "I couldn't just let him kill her, so we ran. I have regretted it every day since."

"Hey!" Kenzi flicked Bo's ear.

"Kidding, kidding."

"Wait," Lauren gathered up her mental faculties enough to make an astute observation. "How did you two manage to escape and hide from a Naga with unlimited resources?"

"We didn't," Kenzi said.

"At least, not for very long," Bo added. "We headed east, picking up jobs along the way. When Lachlan's guards caught up with us, we convinced them it would make better business sense to let us stay alive so we could pay back the money."

Kenzi picked up the story. "Right before they found us, we'd finished up a lucrative gig getting a dwarf miner his stolen diamonds back. Miner as in pickaxe, not minor as in ten year old. He paid us with gold, and for almost two full days of glory we were millionaires. Our share ended up making a sizable dent in our debt, so the Naga agreed to let us live on the condition he got reimbursed, with interest."

"You keep saying 'we'," Dyson cut in. "Bo, why would you put your own life at risk for some puny human you didn't even know?"

"After I told her what I was, and what Lachlan was, and explained about the Fae, she still accepted me for who I am."

"We got on like Ghostbusters," Kenzi said.

"Gangbusters," Lauren corrected.

"I thought it was gangbangers?" Hale frowned.

Dyson ignored the peanut gallery. "That's still a big leap to take."

Bo shrugged. "What can I say? I lost my big sister in New York. I found my little sister in Vancouver."

"Aaaaaawwwww," Ciara and Hale gushed. Dyson rolled his eyes.

Lauren hiccuped.

"I have to tell you," Dyson scratched his beard, "the fact that you are millions of dollars in debt to a Naga makes me even _less_ interested in going into business with you. I don't want any part of that."

Kenzi peeled the rest of her beer label off. Perfect. Not a scrap of paper left on the bottle, just glue. A clean swipe. "Think of it this way. In two years, we paid back all but five million bills. That's 15 million dollars. Pretty serious earning power."

"Dyson, that's Wall Street hedge fund manager money," Hale whistled.

"Dondothat," Lauren slurred. "Nowhissling."

"Sorry."

Dyson was impressed, but did all he could to hide it. He looked at Kenzi. "You still haven't told us what _you_ can do. What can you possibly contribute, other than poor decision making and general stupidity?"

"I already told you I'm a hacker. A good one."

"So is Lauren," Dyson countered. "What else do you have?"

"I'm the Canadian Artful Dodger."

"What practical use is pickpocketing?" Dyson scoffed.

"Where's your wallet, Snoop Dog?" Kenzi raised an eyebrow, while Dyson dug in his pockets.

"What the…?" He searched frantically, but the strip leather wasn't there. He looked up at Kenzi, who held the wallet aloft with pride written all over her face. "Give me that!" He snatched it away, and checked to make sure his money and cards were still there. "Not bad," he conceded.

"And what about your watch?"

Dyson rolled up his sleeve. His Rolex was gone. "I just had it! When did…?"

"Just now. When you took your wallet back."

"Whaaaat?" Hale leaned back in his chair. "Damn, girl!"

"I know, right?" Kenzi slapped him five.

"Uh, guys?" Ciara pointed to Lauren, whose head was bobbing up and down, her body fighting itself to stay awake.

"Right," Hale said, as Ciara shook Lauren's shoulder to bring her back to the world of the living. "Who's ready for a vote? Bo and Kenzi, in or out?"

"I vote in!" Lauren said, a little too loudly.

Dyson rubbed his ear, and shot Lauren a dirty look. "I vote out," he growled.

"Well," Hale grinned, "I'm all about Succubus sexiness and feisty short stack humans, so I vote in. Ciara?"

"Hmm." Ciara looked around the table. Hale and Lauren were voting with their libidos, Dyson was voting with his pride. It was up to her to be the vote of reason. "There's no questioning that you'd bring an impressive skill set to the team," she said. "On the other hand, I still don't know if I can trust the two of you not to run away with our money." She frowned.

"Use your common sense, Ciara!" Dyson growled.

It was the tone of his voice that tipped the scales. "Okay. I vote in." Bo, Kenzi, and Hale jumped up, celebrating. Lauren would have jumped up too, if the room would stop spinning. "Conditionally!" Ciara added, and everyone sat back down. "Dyson has a job lined up. I want you to join the team for this gig. If it works out, we'll make the situation permanent. Does that sound reasonable?"

Everyone except Dyson nodded their assent. "Good," Ciara smiled. "Dyson? Why don't you tell the group about the _very unique object_ we've been hired to track down?" She gave Dyson a meaningful look.

He grinned, as it occurred to him why. "We're looking for a pair of handcuffs."

"Handcuffs?" Bo raised an eyebrow. "You've got a pair, hanging from your belt. Case closed. Where's my money?"

"These are special handcuffs. They belonged to a Fae posing as a priest during the Spanish Inquisition. They have a set of unique properties, among which the victim who is wearing the handcuffs is incapable of telling a lie. The priest used them during interrogations to discover the true intentions of the men and women imprisoned in Avila. Their last known location was Barcelona, two hundred years ago. That's where we'll start."

"We're going international now?" Hale asked. "How do you expect all of us to get time away from the Light?"

"Your sister is the Ash, bro," Dyson grinned. "That's your job. You figure it out."

"Aw, man."

"We leave in five days," Dyson said. "I only have four plane tickets, so you two will have to figure out how to get there on your own. Same goes for hotel reservations."

"No prob, Bob," Kenzi pulled out her cell phone and was at the Orbitz website before she even finished her sentence.

"Barcelona," Lauren mumbled. "Home of Ignacio Barraquer, ophthalmologist known for advancements in cataract surgery. Ignacio sounds like Inigo." Her voice deepened into a sexy Spanish timbre. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." She erupted into a fit of giggles.

"Ummm…I should probably get her home," Bo said. She shook hands with each of her new teammates, except for Dyson, and helped Lauren to her feet. "I guess we'll see you in five days."

* * *

Lauren groaned as Bo carried her up the stairs to her bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. "Wanna fool around?" Lauren asked. Bo could sense very little desire in Lauren's aura…her feelings were almost completely drowned out by the alcohol.

Bo chose to ignore the proposition. "You were worried about me. That's why you're drunk."

"Yep." Lauren licked her parched, dehydrated lips. Somewhere in the sober doctor part of her brain, she knew she should drink a lot of water to avoid a hangover. But the sink was in the bathroom, and the bathroom seemed to be a thousand miles away.

"That would be cute if it wasn't so pathetic," Bo teased.

"I'm not pathetic," Lauren whispered, as Bo took the Doctor's shoes off and tossed them in a corner. "I'm a very accomplished physician." Her words slurred, and sounded more like, "Imavrrcmplishfizzy." But Bo understood all the same.

"You're a very sexy one too. Even when you're drunk as a skunk." Bo brushed a stray hair from her cheek. She got up and went to Lauren's bathroom. She filled a plastic cup with water, and shook two ibuprofen from a bottle on the sink. She placed them on Lauren's nightstand. The Doctor was already asleep. Bo kissed Lauren's forehead, pulled the blanked over her and tucked her in. With one last glance at the slumbering doctor Bo said, "goodnight", turned off the light, and closed the door.


	17. Mile High

**Chapter Seventeen – Mile High**

Lauren Lewis stared out of her window at the Atlantic Ocean thirty-five thousand feet below. Not a cloud in the sky to obstruct the view of blue saltwater that stretched as far as the eye could see. Lauren contemplated her odds of survival if both engines exploded at once at sent the plane careening into the watery depths.

Obviously, the odds were shitty.

Lauren watched as the sky dimmed from blue to purple to red to orange at the horizon, and the sun disappeared below the curvature of the earth. She leaned back in her Iberian Airlines first class recliner, placing her laptop on the empty seat next to her. She sighed, contentedly. It had been six years since she could call herself an international traveler. She'd missed it.

The attractive flight attendant with the gorgeous brown eyes grinned at her and offered her a glass of champagne and a hot towel, which Lauren gratefully accepted. She turned to watch as the flight attendant made her way down the rows toward Dyson and Ciara. The tight, red uniform skirt accentuated the perfect curves of her gluteus maximus and tensor fasciae laetae.

"Ariba ariba." Lauren grinned and took a sip of champagne.

"Hey!" Hale hissed from across the aisle. "Don't even think about it, she's mine."

"We're three hours into the flight. The statute of limitations is up on 'dibs'. She's fair game," Lauren hissed back.

"C'mon Doc! You've already got a supernaturally sexy Succubus waiting for you in coach class with her legs wide open, why you gotta be greedy?"

"First, we don't even know if she made the flight. Second…yeah, I don't have a second. Supernatural Succu-Sex is pretty great." She leaned in closer. "But just so you know, I haven't talked to Bo in five days. And that's entirely your sister's fault."

"I can't help it." Hale shrugged. "It's the only way I could get her to let us bounce for the weekend - 120 hours of non-stop work to make up for it. Val's a slave driver."

Lauren flinched at the mention of the word 'slave'. It was a reflex. She couldn't help it.

"Sorry Doc, sometimes I forget."

"Don't worry about it." She waved him off. "I mean, who wouldn't want to own a piece of this?" She snapped her fingers and jiggled in her seat. "I got the moves, baby. Geek swag."

Hale laughed. "Geek swag squared, for sure."

"Geek swag times Skewes' Number."

"The what now?"

"The Skewes Number is 10^10^10 to the 34th power. It's like this – think about a game of chess played with all the particles in the universe as pieces, where one move is the interchange of a single pair of particles, and the game ends when the same position recurs for the third time. The number of possible games in that eventuality would be about the Skewes Number."

Hale stared at her, blankly.

"It's a really freaking big ass number," Lauren simplified.

"Yeah…a'ight." He nodded, slowly. "I get it, you're smart and I'm dumb. You got swag, but I'm smooth as silk. You're bangin' a Succubus, but players gotta play. The flight attendant is mine."

Lauren looked back down the aisle and laughed. "Actually, I don't think she's either of ours."

Hale turned in time to see Dyson kiss the back of the flight attendant's hand. She blushed as red as her Iberia Airlines uniform. "Damn it!" He smacked his hand off of the arm rest.

"You should have flashed her your abs. _That_ would have gotten her attention."

* * *

Bo looked at the approaching flight attendant with a feeling of abject terror. She'd already been chewed out for being late to the gate, and for standing up when the seatbelt sign was on. Now it was time for the dinner service, and Bo seriously thought she'd rather go hungry than face this woman's withering glare. Bo shifted, trying to get comfortable in her rock hard coach seat, while Kenzi snored lightly next to her.

They'd gotten to the airport with plenty of time to spare. But this was the first time that Bo had ever been on a plane, and there were plenty of rules she didn't know about.

For example, unless in a clear plastic bag weighing less than three ounces, toothpaste and mouthwash are not acceptable carry-on items.

Also, airlines generally frown upon brass knuckles and throwing stars on a plane.

And it's a bad idea to strap a dagger to your thigh when you have to go through a metal detector.

After an hour of police interrogations and one extended session of chi-sucking and thralling she arrived, weaponless and very late, at the gate, only to be verbally attacked by the flight attendant from the ninth circle of hell. Demon spawn, wearing a red skirt.

Deb, by her nametag.

"Chicken or fish?" Deb loomed in front of Bo – Bo's words caught in her throat, such was her fear of this woman. "CHICKENORFISH!?" Deb screamed.

"…ch-ch-chicken…" Bo shrunk back, as Deb slammed an aluminum foil tin down on Bo's seat back tray. Deb rolled the cart forward down the aisle, and Bo exhaled. She lifted the corner of the foil and sneered – dinner did not even remotely resemble chicken. Or fish. Or actual, edible food of any kind. It looked like a sponge dipped in grey rubber cement.

Bo looked over angrily at the slumbering Kenzi. Bo had wanted to fly first class with Lauren and the others. But Kenzi wasn't having any of it. 'Too expensive', apparently. Bo stared longingly at the curtain separating coach and first, and daydreamed about the luxury, beauty, and comfort on the other side.

* * *

**Three Hours Later**

"When I move you move…"

Lauren looked over at Hale and shook her head. His earphones were in, and he was singing in his sleep. The cabin lights were off, and as far as Lauren could tell everyone else in first class was asleep too. But there was no way she was getting any shut eye. She was too excited.

She hadn't travelled internationally since the Congo. But she hadn't been to Europe since the summer between undergrad and med school. She grinned. Thinking back to Europe made her think about her ex, Nadia.

They'd met totally by chance in a 'coffee shop' in Amsterdam. Lauren was travelling alone, writing in her journal, when she looked up to see Nadia staring at her from across the smoke-filled room. Lauren took a puff from her joint and tried to look mysterious and cool. Nadia grinned back, took a long pull, shaped her mouth into an "O", and blew out three smoke rings, one after the other.

From that moment, Lauren was putty in Nadia's hands.

They spent the rest of the evening together, hoping from coffee shop to coffee shop. They ended up at a Rastafarian bakery, tried some hash brownies, hallucinated about dancing squirrels and leaped, stark naked, into the Voorburgwal Canal.

After they were fished out by the Amsterdam Police, and after they spent the night in the Nieuwendijk Politie Station, Nadia adjusted her plans so the two of them could travel together for the next seven weeks.

Beer gardens in Berlin, lesbian bars in London, raves in Rome, clubs in Copenhagen. Lauren always managed to stay sober enough to enjoy the museums and churches and markets, although the same could _not_ be said for Nadia. Lauren was surprised that her kidneys and liver were still functioning after they got back to Canada.

She and Nadia tried to keep things going once they got back home, but somewhere between arguments about politics, religion, music, and laundry it became clear that they weren't compatible in the real world.

Lauren couldn't help but wonder where Nadia was now, and what she was doing. Probably lying in a hospital somewhere, in an alcohol or drug induced coma.

The pretty flight attendant came by and handed Lauren a blanket and pillow. Lauren shook her head to clear out the memories. No point in living in the past. She pulled her computer onto her lap and powered it up. She scrolled through her notes on the Spanish Inquisition. The first class cabin was dark but for the glow of the screen, quiet but for the clack of her fingers on the keyboard and Hale's occasional garbled sleep-rapping.

* * *

Bo shifted in her chair. She _still_ couldn't get comfortable. For once in her life she wished she had a fat ass, so she could have some padding. She considered waking Kenzi up, just to have someone to talk to, but thought better of it. Early morning Kenzi could give flight attendant Deb a run for her money. Bo wondered if Lauren was awake up there in first class. She hadn't seen the Doctor for five days. Bo was surprised by how much the separation had gnawed at her.

Bo flinched as Deb stalked the aisles like a hall monitor. Risking life and limb, Bo reached over her head and hit the "attendant call" button. Deb's head snapped in Bo's direction, and she stomped through a row of sleeping passengers – the shortest distance between two points, customers and their feet be damned.

"What can I get you?" Deb asked between clenched teeth, in a voice that sounded more like, "How would you like to die this evening?"

Bo motioned for her to come closer. Deb reluctantly leaned in, and Bo lightly rubbed her arm. "Can you tell me if there are any empty seats in first class?"

Deb's eyelids fluttered, as Bo's glowy red hypnotic energy worked its magic. Deb's mouth curled upward into a grin. "Yeah. A lot of them."

Bo stroked Deb's arm, mentally kicking herself for not thinking of this sooner. "I think I deserve an upgrade, don't you?"

Deb sighed happily, and nodded. "Follow me."

Other passengers looked on with envy as Bo followed Deb to the front of the plane, and Deb opened the curtain to a veritable paradise. "Thank you." Bo ran a hand along Deb's cheek, then closed the curtain behind her.

Bo could see Lauren's blonde hair poking out from the seatback. She was still working, naturally, and the only person still awake. Bo smiled – she couldn't help it. Screw it, there was no point in lying to herself. She'd missed the Doc. Bo crept quietly toward Lauren's seat, intending to surprise her. She reached out to run her fingers through Lauren's hair.

In an instant Lauren reached back and snatched Bo's wrist, twisting it into a painful angle as she stood and spun to face her 'attacker'.

"Alright, who are you and what do you…Bo! It's you!"

"Ow, ow, ow," Bo whimpered.

"Oh, sorry!" Lauren let go of her wrist. "I thought I was being attacked from behind – why would you sneak up on me like that?"

"Ow, ow, OW."

"Here, sit down!" Lauren plunked Bo down in the empty seat by the window, and turned on the overhead light to get a closer look at the damage.

"Nice to see you too, Doc." Bo grunted in pain as Lauren inspected the wrist for broken bones. "Ow!"

"It's just a sprain. You can heal this right up, can't you?" Lauren rubbed the sore spot with her thumb.

Bo winced. "Without a snack, it'll be a day or two."

Lauren brushed her hair behind her ear, and lifted Bo's hand up to her face. She placed a soft, feather-light kiss on Bo's wrist.

Bo cocked her head sideways and smiled. "What was _that_ about?"

"I kissed it and made it better. Did it work?"

Bo flexed her wrist. "Yeah…maybe a little, actually."

"There's science behind that particular technique. I deflected your pain by presenting you with a pleasurable stimulus, and you modified your response in the parietal lobe of your brain to create a different, more desired output."

"Is that how you treat all your patients?" Bo grinned.

"No. Just the ones I find irresistibly attractive. And the ones who look 'easy'. It just so happens you fall into both categories," Lauren teased.

"Oh yeah?" Bo leaned over the armrest and kissed Lauren on the lips. Gently, at first. But as Bo increased the pressure, Lauren shuddered as she felt the _most intense sensation_ – nothing she'd ever experienced could possibly compare, not even the feeling of an orgasm – and she was devastated when Bo pulled away. "What. Was. That?" Lauren stuttered.

"I kissed _you _and made _me_ better." Bo leaned back in her chair, pleased with herself. "You just got chi-sucked, biotch. _Now_ I'm healed." She rotated her wrist, pain free. "That's what you get for calling me easy. How does it feel to be used, Doc?"

Lauren grinned. "Actually, it feels pretty damn good. I should make a mental note to be used more often. Bend me, shape me, any way you want me."

"Any way I want?" Bo raised an eyebrow.

"Within reason, of course." Lauren packed up her laptop and slid it under the chair, pretty certain she wasn't going to need it for the rest of the night. She pulled the blanket over her waist and closed her eyes. "So, what have you been up to? What does a Succubus do on her days off?"

"Two chicks at the same time."

Lauren's eyes snapped open. "What? _Seriously_?"

"Oh come on, it was a joke. You've never seen 'Office Space'? Pieces of flair? O-face? Milton and the red Swingline stapler?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lauren yawned.

Bo did a facepalm. "I don't think this is going to work. We don't have anything in common with each other."

"Not true. I can think of one thing…" Lauren reached her hand out from underneath the blanket, and stroked the inside of Bo's thigh.

Bo stood up. "I need to go to the bathroom," she declared.

"So go."

"No, you don't understand. I _need_ to _go_ to the _bathroom_." Even in the dark, Lauren could see Bo tilt her head toward the small stall at the front of the First Class cabin.

Realization dawned on Lauren. She made a face. "Do you have any idea how many germs can be found in a bathroom, not to mention a bathroom in such a confined space with such poor air circulation? Not a chance in hell Succubus, you're on your own. Let me know how everything works out." Lauren lay back and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

Bo sat back down and pouted. "You're boring."

"Not boring. Just concerned about unsanitary conditions. I am a doctor after all. Here." She raised the armrest to remove the barrier between them, and lifted the blanket, inviting Bo in. Bo grinned, appeased, and snuggled up next to Lauren. She laid her head on the Doctor's chest. Lauren wrapped the blanket around the two of them then reached up and turned off the overhead light, throwing the cabin into darkness.

"Sorry I called you boring," Bo said.

Lauren wrapped her arms around the Succubus underneath the thin airline blanket. She kissed her behind the earlobe. "You should be. I'm anything but boring."

"Oh yeah?" Bo's breath hitched in her chest, as Lauren's hands slid down her waist, unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled down her zipper.

"Yeah." She flicked Bo's earlobe with her tongue, and slid her hands further south. Bo's back arched against Lauren's chest, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

"Oh my god," Bo whispered.

"Can you keep quiet?" Lauren asked.

"Yes," Bo answered.

"Are you _sure_?"

"_YES_."

"Then hold that blanket in place and lay back," she whispered in Bo's ear. "You're about to find out how..._stimulating_ a plane ride with me can be."


	18. The Forgotten and the Bodacious

**Chapter 18 – The Forgotten and the Bodacious**

"Hello lovely." Vex grinned as his sultry teammate strode – stomped, really – into their basement lair. "You're looking suitably bitchy this evening."

She kicked off her boots and sank into the leather recliner in the corner. "Kiss my ass, V."

"I'd love to, but something tells me there isn't enough Vaseline and Chapstick in the known universe to protect my lips from that lava tube you call an asshole."

She held out a palm and sent a fireball flying at Vex's head. He ducked just in time. The fireball hit a painting on the wall, instantly turning a priceless Renoir into a pile of ashes on the carpet.

Vex chuckled. "Good riddance, I never liked the Impressionists anyway. Now Francis Bacon on the other hand…that was a screwed up and amazing artist. Bleak, abstract, and wonderfully grotesque. Do you know his work?"

"I have better things to do with my time than look at pretty pictures on walls." She took a drink of water then threw the glass against the wall, shattering it into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Something have you hot under the collar, love? Are you steamed? Burning with rage?"

"Hey! I'm the only one allowed to make fire puns around here." She held up a finger and blew out the last remaining flicker of flame.

"And you wonder why you haven't got any friends. Bad puns, and no sense of humor." Vex flicked his wrist, and his partner poked herself in the eye.

"Ow! I'ma kill you, motherf-"

"Excusssse me." A hooded figure emerged from the shadows. He was slumped forward and hidden under a brown hood, like a Franciscan monk. "If I may, Vex and S…S…" The hooded figure struggled with her name.

"Oh for the sake of…it's Serena! Se-Re-Na! How many times do I have to tell you that, you worthless fool?" She kicked the coffee table as she rose from her chair. "You'd think that being head of security for the Light Fae – _head of freaking security_ – would be enough that lowly idiots like you would at least have the decency to _remember my name_. Head of security, man!"

Vex shrugged. "You're never around. You're easy to forget."

"That's because I'm _doing my job_! Doing what I'm supposed to do! A good security chief goes unnoticed, working in the background, seeing without being seen! Ready at any second to protect the Ash, not prancing around town waving swords and picking fights and acting like an attention whore."

"I quite like whores," Vex replied.

"Assssss do I."

"Yeah, you'd _need_ to pay for it, mate. With a mug like yours you'd need a ten foot wang to get a girl close enough for sex. Pain Eaters are not an attractive species." Vex clapped him on the shoulder.

"Sssssscrew you." The Pain Eater slashed Vex's cheek with a fingernail, drawing a trickle of blood.

"You know I like the rough stuff." Vex winked. "And as for you, don't even pretend that you care if something happens to the Ash. If you gave two flying fucks about the Ash you wouldn't be here now."

"It isn't my fault. Everyone knows that the Clan Zamora only takes care of their own. As soon as the Ash finds some Zamora crony to take my place, I'll be out of a job. It's all favoritism; qualifications don't count for a damn thing. I'm just looking out for my future interests. Now Lachlan…_there_ was a leader I could get behind."

"Or below or above or bent over or reverse cowgirl…"

"Shut up, Vex."

The Pain Eater sighed. "Helloooo? I'm here to deliver a messssage. Our bosss is displeased with our performance. He demandsss the final ssstone."

"He can demand all he wants, but without more information I can't find it. I. Can't. Find. It." Serena enunciated each word. "Anyway, what the hell? We brainwashed a Boraro, broke the boss into the Santiago ball, and barbequed a light Fae elder. You two broke into the damn Dark Fae compound! We found two of the three. I'd say that's decent work."

"We agree on something for once," Vex chimed in. "How are we supposed to find a centuries old rock when it could be anywhere on the face of the earth? Google it?"

"What'sss a Google?"

Vex shook his head, pitying, at the Pain Eater. "You need to spend less time in people's heads and more time in the real world."

"Don't mock me. I'm hip. I've ssseen Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I know who the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesss are. I'm radical and tubular and bodaciousss to the maxx. You can't touch thissssss." The Pain Eater broke into MC Hammer shuffle, particularly awkward as his thin, scaly legs poked out from under his brown robe. "You can't touch thisssss."

Vex looked on in horror. "Ever wish you could _unsee_ something?" He asked Serena.

"Every time I look at your face," she replied, as the Pain Eater Hammer-danced back into the shadows.

* * *

_Five Hours Later_

The Morrigan strutted down the sidewalk in a pair of stilettos and a tiny, blood red Alexander McQueen dress. She felt people's eyes on her as she walked. How she adored it. Craved the attention. She sometimes wondered if she had an ancestor who fed off the adulation of others. A fame whore of the Fae variety.

She spotted The Ash sitting under an umbrella at a small café. The Morrigan removed her dark sunglasses, and flashed her rival an ultrawhite grin before joining her. "You've picked a rather public place to meet. Very brave."

"My people own this coffee shop. Most of the customers are members of my security staff. I feel perfectly safe here." She glanced sideways at Serena, her chief of security, who was currently sipping a green tea latte and doing the daily crossword puzzle. "And I have news."

"Do tell."

"Trick thinks he might have a lead on the location of the Siancyn Stone. I'm sending in a team to investigate," Val whispered.

Serena's ears perked up, and she leaned imperceptibly closer to the Ash's table.

"And where might you be sending them?" The Morrigan spoke in a whisper.

"Trick discovered an ancient text that mentions an object of great power, fitting the Siancyn's description, in the Congo."

"Africa?"

"Yes, the Congo is in Africa. Ten geography points for The Morrigan." Val rolled her eyes.

"Honey, I don't need a map to tell me where to go." The Morrigan winked at their waiter; he gulped and set a small cup of coffee in front of her before backing away slowly. "Your wait staff is intimidated by me. I like it." She never took her eyes off of the young man. "He's not bad looking. Can he sing?"

"I wouldn't know anything about him."

"Oh, come on." The Morrigan leaned back in her chair. "You mean to tell me you don't dip into the human help? It's one of the perks of being in charge. Free food. All these old ideas about human and Fae relations are going the way of the dinosaurs, snap bracelets, and perms." She sipped her coffee. It was scalding hot, but she barely noticed.

"I try not to take advantage of people."

"How on earth did you gather enough votes to become the Ash? Politics is built on taking advantage of people. Bribes. Blackmail. Boning. The three B's."

"Lucky for me, I have an unscrupulous father who takes care of that for me." Val grinned.

"Not the boning, though."

Val's coffee mug stopped halfway to her face. "I sincerely hope not."

The Morrigan laughed. "We seem to have gotten off track. You are putting together a team, correct? I have just the woman for the job – resourceful, powerful…"

"Actually I already have a group in mind. I think you know them. My sources tell me you've used their services on several occasions."

The Morrigan had to sit and think. She frowned, as realization struck. "The human doctor? Her team?"

"The very same." Val narrowed her eyes. "You seem unhappy."

"I'm just surprised. I would have thought you could find a group that's a little more professional and a little less…Scooby Doo. I only use them because they're cheap."

"Cheap, yes. But also effective." Val took a sip of coffee. "Of course, I'm not supposed to know any of this. My brother thinks he's keeping it a secret, these illegal dalliances with his crew. If our father knew his son was a thief, he'd probably wring Hale's neck and leave him for dead in a dumpster."

"How did you find out, then?"

"I'm the mothafuckin Ash, bitch." Val grinned. "All seeing and all knowing."

"Ooohh…I like that attitude." The Morrigan raised her coffee mug, and they clunked glasses. "Although, I'm still not sure I like your choice, here. We're in a struggle for our survival, and you want to put our fate in the hands of a human, a glorified cockatiel, a rather useless shape shifter, and a fairy queen. Is there anything more fragile sounding than 'fairy queen'?"

"She's tough. Don't let the title fool you."

"Actually you're right," The Morrigan leaned back, "I've known a few fairy queens in my day. I used to go down to the Church Wellesley Village…some of those bitches would break a heel over your head and not think twice about it. I was very popular there."

"Anyway," Val tried to scrub the image of The Morrigan, dark princess of the 'fairies', out of her mind. "Hale asked me for a few days off. I'm told they're headed to Barcelona to find a pair of handcuffs."

"Kinky."

"What they're looking for isn't important. What matters is that I have a group of my own tracking their movements and reporting back to me. If their performance impresses me, the job is theirs. I just have one small problem. An unknown, if you will."

"I don't like the sound of that. What is it?"

"It isn't a _what_, it's a _who_. It appears an unaligned Succubus slept her way into the group. I don't know anything about her, and that makes me nervous."

"You're talking about Bo? Funny, that's who I was going to suggest in the first place. She's not too bright, but she's street smart. Seems loyal enough."

"To who?"

"To herself, and whoever her employer is. I've used her quite a bit since she and that strange little human showed up in Toronto. It doesn't hurt that she's easy on the eyes, either."

"You trust her?"

The Morrigan laughed, with an modulation and pitch that sounded a little too much like Cruella de Ville. "I don't trust _anyone_. And neither should you. But she's tough, and fearless. _Fearless_. And that has to count for something, right?"

Val, The Ash, frowned at her still steaming coffee mug, not wholly convinced. She was eagerly anticipating the first report from her team in Spain, half-expecting the trip to be an unmitigated disaster.

Serena sat nearby, tapping her pencil on the crossword puzzle in front of her. She'd heard the whole thing. Every word. She pulled out her cell phone and shot a quick text to her employer, simultaneously excited and relieved. In the end, she hadn't even gone looking for information, it had come right to her in the form of a loose-lipped politician. And that information may have just saved her life...or at least kept her boss from turning her into KFC style Extra Crispy.


	19. International Women of Mystery

**Chapter 19 – International Women of Mystery**

"Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod," Bo muttered to herself as she stared out the window, fingers in a death grip on her armrests.

"Are you okay?" Lauren asked, with concern.

"Yes," Bo squeaked out, even though it was plain to anyone with two eyes and two ears that she was anything _but_ okay. Lauren observed tiny droplets of sweat forming on Bo's forehead, and the ragged nature of her breath. Classic signs of a panic attack.

"Bo…"

"The plane is pointing down." Bo turned to Lauren. "Why?"

For some reason, Lauren found Bo's palpable fear to be highly amusing. This amazing, stubborn, proud woman in front of her was turning into a scared little girl. Lauren answered, in her most calming bedside manner. "The plane is losing altitude because we're coming in for a landing. This is all completely normal."

"I don't like it." Bo's legs began to shake.

The pilot's voice rang through the cabin. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now beginning our final descent into Barcelona-El Prat Airport. Temperature on the ground is 24 degrees Celsius, 75 Fahrenheit. Unfortunately there are thunderstorms in the area, so expect a bumpy ride in…"

Lauren sighed. That wouldn't make things any easier for Bo.

"The seatbelt sign is now on, and we ask that all passengers return their seat backs and trays to their full, upright positions. Thank you for flying with us."

The plane tilted down at a more pronounced angle, and Bo whimpered. She turned away from the Doctor, so Lauren wouldn't see the look on her face. With another whimper, she realized that looking away from Lauren meant looking out the window at what was now a diagonal horizon. She finally gave up and closed her eyes.

"Is this your first time on a plane?" Lauren asked.

Bo nodded.

"But you were okay up until now. Even with the takeoff?"

Bo nodded again.

"You just don't like the idea of landing."

Nod. Again.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Because you're going to laugh at me."

The petulant, pouty way Bo said it nearly made Lauren do just that. The fact that a badass, leather-wearing, knife-wielding Succubus could be afraid of _anything_ was pretty incredible, and somehow a relief. Lauren slid her hands down her own cheeks, to push her smiling facial muscles down into a more neutral expression. "I promise I won't laugh."

Bo slowly turned to the Doctor, with a mixed expression of horror and nervousness. Just then, the plane hit a patch of turbulence and lurched sideways. Bo closed her eyes and whimpered.

"It's okay, Bo. This is all normal. Trust me." Lauren stroked Bo's cheek, hoping to calm her down. "You have a better chance of being bitten by a wyvern than dying in a plane crash."

Bo's eyes shot open with fear. "But I _have_ been bitten by a wyvern!"

Lauren balked. "You have not."

"Yeah, I have! I met this rich Fae guy at a bar, we went back to his penthouse apartment, and we started fooling around. He had a miniature wyvern as a pet, and wyverns are really protective and this one was young and confused, and he must have thought I was attacking the guy because I was straddling him – I felt this horrible pain in my calf, looked down and saw a scaly dragon-y freak of nature attached to my leg."

"But wyverns are endangered! And poisonous…"

"Yeah, no shit. I had to chi suck the guy almost to death to heal from it – and that was AFTER I used most of my energy trying to detach a squealing lizard monster and his three inch fangs from my leg."

Lauren allowed a choked laugh to escape. She couldn't help it.

"It's not funny."

"It is, though." Lauren grinned. "You have had a very interesting life."

The plane gave another lurch, and Bo resumed her death grip on the chair. "An interesting life that's about to end, I know it," Bo muttered. Lauren reached over and, one by one, pried Bo's fingers from the arm rest – no mean feat for as strong as Bo was. Lauren found out just how strong when another patch of turbulence caused Bo to grip her hand like a vice, cracking all of Lauren's knuckles at once. She winced in pain, but didn't make a sound.

"So I guess my statistical comparisons weren't very helpful to you," Lauren thought out loud.

"Not really," Bo breathed. "I need a distraction. Tell me a story."

"A story?" Lauren replied, bemused. Apparently fear turned Bo into a five year old. "You mean like Little Red Riding Hood? Dyson doesn't like that one, do you know that? He thinks it gives wolves a bad name…"

"No, no." Bo shook her head. "Tell me something about you."

Lauren rubbed her thumb over the back of Bo's hand. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Anything you want to tell me." Bo sucked in a breath as the plane tilted further down. "And don't stop talking until we land."

Lauren frowned slightly, trying to think of something to say.

Apparently, the pause was to long for Bo. "I don't care what comes out of your mouth, just start talking, _please_," she whined.

"Okay, okay," Lauren said, flustered and at a loss. "I uh…uh…I like pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, but that's not a story…um…I always use a paper towel to sponge the excess grease off the top though…do you know that the grease on a pizza can build up within your system in the span of just...never mind." Lauren bit her lip. "Um…new topic. Oh, okay! I own sixteen different lab coats. I have a favorite one that I wear for good luck when I have a major procedure coming up. There's a tiny stain on the front left pocket – gastric acid from the third stomach of a Bonnacon. He was my first successful Fae surgery." Lauren chuckled at the memory. "A Bonnacon is an Under Fae with large, protruding horns, like a bull. He had a blockage in his large intestine – but the trouble with Bonnacons is that they emit burning feces. Because of the blockage he was literally roasting his insides."

Bo's mouth hung open. "I ask you to tell me a story, and you tell me about flaming Fae poop?"

"Like I said, he was the first Fae I successfully operated on. It was only my third day on the job. The Ash had given me two months to study up on Fae-kind, and thrown me right into the thick of it. I'll have you know, that was one of the proudest moments of my life thank you very much."

"How did you end up working for the Fae in the first place?"

"_That_ is too long a story for what's left of the plane ride."

Bo frowned. "Okay. Fine. What else ya got?"

Lauren glanced back across the aisle at the still slumbering Siren. "The first time I met Hale, he almost killed me."

"_What_?"

"It was an accident. I was dropping off an autopsy report at the police station. It was late, and Hale was the only one in the office. I opened the door. He was whistling the tune to 'Take My Breath Away' by Berlin. You know that song? From Top Gun? Tom Cruise? Aviator sunglasses? 'I feel the need…the need for speed'?"

Bo shook her head, slowly.

"You should watch it sometime. 80s classic. Anyway, Hale must have really been getting into the lyrics behind the song, and not paying attention to anything else around him, because I felt my airway start to constrict and I suddenly found it impossible to breathe. He was literally taking my breath away. I can tell you that despite what you may have heard, there's _nothing_ romantic about sudden respiratory failure. I tried to shout for him but he had his headphones in, naturally. I managed to crawl over to the fire alarm and yank it before I passed out. He heard _that_, and stopped whistling, my oxygen intake was restored, and all was well. Of course, as soon as I had recuperated enough to move, I punched him in the face. Since then we have an agreement that he won't whistle in front of me, even though he often forgets."

Bo stared at Lauren, mouth agape. "Death by 80s music. Huh. It…sort of makes sense. I think I'd rather take a shot to the head than suffer through 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go'." The plane lurched; Bo squeezed Lauren's hand – although not as tightly this time.

"Me too. It's not all bad though. My first kiss was to an 80s song." Lauren blushed and looked down at her hands, surprised at herself for blurting out that particular fact.

Bo was instantly interested. "Yeah?"

"Yep. I was fourteen. Eighth grade. We went ice skating. The song was 'I Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore' by REO Speedwagon. Classic."

Bo's grin was so wide it almost stretched from ear to ear.

"What?" Lauren ventured, seeing the look on the Succubus' face.

"I'm just trying to picture you at fourteen."

Lauren threw back her head and laughed. "Picture the nerdiest girl you've ever seen, then multiply that by ten. That was me, in junior high school."

Bo reached up and ran a hand along Lauren's perfect jawline. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. I had braces, stringy hair, acne. Teacher's pet. Nose always in a book."

"I wasn't much better," Bo offered. "My parents had me in braids and frumpy clothes until I got to high school. I looked like an Amish girl. I didn't discover leather until senior year. Anyway, it's probably for the best that our paths didn't cross. I might have chi sucked you to death before I learned control."

"Doubtful. If you had met me back then, you wouldn't have even looked twice at me." Lauren grinned. "But _I_ would have noticed _you_. I probably would have watched you in math class, from the other side of the room, chewing on my pencil and writing 'Mrs. Dennis-Lewis' in my day planner, with sad, lonely little hearts dotting the 'i's," Lauren joked.

Bo rolled her eyes. "Like _we_ would be in the same math class. You'd be in calculus, while I was still trying to perfect one plus one."

"It's two," Lauren added, helpfully.

"Yeah, thanks."

"I would have volunteered to tutor you," Lauren said, enjoying this game and this conversation immensely. "You could come over to my place. We could go upstairs to my room, put Ace of Base on my CD player, lay all our papers and books out on the floor, and do math. As long as you didn't make fun of my X-Files posters or my Power Rangers figurines."

"Are you kidding? Who'd make fun of you for _that_? The pink one is haaaaaawt."

Lauren narrowed her eyes at Bo, sure the other woman was pulling her leg. As she did so, she glanced over Bo's shoulder, out the window. She could tell they were only a few minutes from landing. Evidently Bo was sufficiently distracted.

The Succubus smiled. "I don't know if we'd get around to doing much math, though."

"Of course we would. I take my academics very seriously. I am a strict disciplinarian."

"And I am a very attentive listener. Up to a point. But eventually I'm going to be distracted by those lips of yours, all thick and full over your braces," Bo teased.

"And the whole time I'm repeating the periodic table of elements in my head, to keep from wondering what sexually repressed Amish girls wear under their dresses."

The floor vibrated beneath them as the pilot lowered the landing gear. Bo didn't even notice. "You have an awfully dirty mind for a fourteen year old."

"I am a precocious, budding scientist with a healthy interest in human anatomy, whose parents have recently subscribed to the Cinemax channel," Lauren countered. "That's all."

"A precocious geek is no match for a teenage Succubus and her raging hormones. If I say we're done studying, we're done studying." Bo leaned in closer.

"And what if my parents are home?"

"They aren't," Bo whispered.

"What if my cat's watching?"

"It isn't."

Lauren grinned. "What if I'm a bad kisser?"

"You won't be." Bo's lips were only millimeters from Lauren's now.

"Bo?"

"Yeah?"

Lauren's eyes flicked to the window, then back. "Brace yourself."

"For what?"

Lauren carefully but firmly placed her free arm in front of Bo, like a roller coaster lap bar. "We're landing."

Before Bo even had time to freak out the wheels had already touched down and the plane was rolling along the runway. Lauren bit her lip as Bo dug into her forearm, leaving what would surely be two perfect handprint-shaped bruises on her skin. But if that was the price she had to pay to be Bo's safety net, then so be it. The pilot applied the brakes, and the plane slowed to a crawl, taxi-ing toward the gate.

"Ladies and gentleman, the pilot has left the fasten seatbelt sign on. Please remain in your seats until the plane has arrived at the gate and come to a complete stop. You may now use your mobile phones. We hope you enjoyed your flight with us today, and we look forward to serving you again in the future. Gracias and thank you for choosing Iberian Airlines."

Lauren watched as the flight attendant returned her radio to its position on the wall. She wondered, vaguely, where one might procure an Iberian Airlines flight attendant uniform, and what Bo might look like wearing it.

These are the things you think to yourself, and do not say aloud.

"Bo?" Lauren dipped her head down, to look in Bo's eyes. She was staring forward, pale as a ghost, still with a death grip on Lauren's arm. Lauren gently shook her shoulders. "Bo, we're good. We're safe, and on the ground. You can let go of me now." Bo slowly inched her head toward Lauren. Her fingers snapped open, releasing the Doctor's arm.

"I'm still alive, right?"

Lauren chuckled, and placed two fingers to the pulse point on Bo's neck. "Yep. Alive and kicking, at one hundred twenty beats per minute. That heart rate will slow down, I'm sure. If it doesn't, let me know." Lauren rubbed what remained of her crushed radial and ulna.

Bo let out an exhale that, by Lauren's count, lasted almost thirty seconds. Bo must have had the lung capacity of a racehorse.

Lauren already knew she had the stamina.

"Aaaaaaaaahhh," Hale stretched, and happily yawned from across the aisle. "Nothing for a good night's sleep like first class, baby." He opened his eyes, where Bo, still in fear-induced robotic mode, turned to him with wide eyes. "Well hey there, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting," Bo replied.

"She doesn't like to fly," Lauren explained. "I'm just helping her out."

"Where's Kenzi?"

"Sleeping. In coach."

"You left her there all by herself? That's cold."

"She probably slept the whole time. She didn't miss me at all." Bo shrugged. They reached the gate, and the plane came to a stop. The seat belt sign turned off.

"Bo-freakin'-Dennis!" They heard a shout from the coach cabin, as the curtain was yanked off the rod and one very upset human burst through, followed by a fussing but clearly outmatched Flight Attendant Deb. "What. The. Hellz? I wake up and you're gone? A. That's rude. B. How was I supposed to know what happened to you?" Kenzi slapped Deb away with her hand. Deb gave up and returned back to coach in a huff.

Lauren frowned. "It's a plane. Where did you think she could have gone?"

"You shut up!" Kenzi silenced Lauren with a finger in her face. "For all I know, there's some kind of Under Fae that lives in airplane toilets and sucks people in with their freakishly powerful vacuuming flush."

"There is something similar," Lauren replied. "It's called the 'arachnis gluteus'. It's about the size of your thumb. It thrives at high altitudes and lurks in bathrooms, waiting for its victims. All it takes is one bite. You experience a sudden onset of high fever, vomiting, and muscular breakdown. In forty seconds, all that's left of your body is a pile of dust. They're very rare, but they do exist."

Kenzi paused, staring at the doctor. "You're shitting me."

"Am I?" Lauren grinned, and stood up to retrieve her carry-on bag.

"Oh my God." Kenzi froze, in horror. "I can never use a public bathroom again."

"Kenzi." Bo rolled her eyes, stepping out into the aisle behind Lauren. "Use your brain." She knocked lightly on her friend's forehead, before turning back to the Doctor. She put her hands on Lauren's hips, and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Thank you for all the in-flight entertainment, Doc."

"Anytime." Lauren grinned back at the Succubus. The jet bridge connected to the airplane, the flight attendants opened the doors, and started waving passengers through. Hale was first, Lauren and Bo followed. "Come on," Lauren nodded toward the exit. "Let's go play international women of mystery."

"I do like the sound of that." Bo practically skipped as they left the plane behind, entered the terminal, passed under a sign reading 'Bienvenidos a Barcelona', and headed toward baggage claim. "World travelers, and international women of mystery. Sex-ay."


	20. Nenes Perdudes

**Chapter 20 – Nenes Perdudes**

Lauren listened as the raindrops pitter pattered against her window. 4pm. It had been raining, off and on, since they'd arrived in Barcelona, though the massive thunderstorms had moved off into the Mediterranean Sea. It was much darker than it should be at this time of day. She moved the curtain aside, to look out the window of her five star hotel onto the La Rambla below. The puddles on the cobblestones reflected the light from the buildings in such a way that it seemed the entire pedestrian boulevard was aglow. The rain wasn't keeping anyone from being out and about. As she watched, a fire-dancing street performer tossed a flaming baton at least thirty feet in the air and caught it behind his back.

Lauren wondered…if she opened the window, and tossed a one Euro coin as hard as she could, would she be able to reach his busking hat? She decided against it, for fear of striking someone in the head and causing lacerations to the skull. Instead, she sat back on her mattress and stared at her laptop screen.

Dyson and Ciara had disappeared off into the city not long after they'd arrived at the hotel. Dyson claimed they were on a 'scouting run', but Lauren had her doubts about that. Hale had gone 'searching for senioritas'. At least he was honest with his plans. Kenzi had gone looking for paella and sangria in the Gothic Quarter. Lauren wasn't expecting her back any time soon.

As far as Lauren could tell, Bo was still in the next room, asleep. Bo had thralled the front desk clerk into giving them rooms next to each other – connecting doors and all. But as soon as they got up to the rooms, Bo had passed out on the bed, a combination of jet lag and residual exhaustion from her panic attack. That was two hours ago. Lauren stared at the door that separated them.

It had put her in a difficult position, this door. This door, in fact, seemed to represent a potential turning point in her…whatever...with Bo. Relationship? Arrangement? Mutually beneficial sexual partnership? Either way, the door represented a simple choice with wide-ranging implications:

Locked, or unlocked?

If she left it unlocked, she was allowing Bo full, unfettered access whenever she pleased, inviting openness and suggesting a certain level of emotional intimacy and trust that Lauren wasn't quite sure she was ready for. If she left it locked, she was forcing Bo to ask permission to enter, leaving up a physical and psychological barrier that yes, was safe, but was also potentially destructive and hurtful.

She stared at the latch, and frowned.

She'd decided to keep it locked.

She slammed her laptop screen shut. She was in Europe dammit, for the first time in almost ten years. Why was she just sitting on her bed, moping about doors? She got up and dug around in her suitcase, until she found what she was looking for. Low cut black top, dark skinny jeans. Euro chic. Perfect for a warm-ish evening in Barcelona. She pulled off her sweats and t-shirt, to get changed.

There was a soft knock at the front door.

"Just a second!" Lauren hiked her jeans up over her hips, and haphazardly threw on the shirt as she scurried over. She opened the door.

Her jaw dropped.

It was Bo. Holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, wearing the most well-fitting sexy little black dress ever tailored in human history. Bo grinned.

"I…uh," Lauren found herself temporarily lost for words. "I thought you were asleep?"

"Fifteen minute power nap," Bo replied. "It's all I needed."

"What are you doing here?"

Bo laughed, a sound that sent pleasant shivers down Lauren's spine. "What does it look like? I'm asking you out on a date. I even brought roses and chocolates. The guy at the market says they're dark chocolate with catamaran macaroni acorns. At least, that's what I think he said. His accent was kinda thick."

Lauren tilted her head to the side, comprehension not quite dawning on her features. "You want to go out on a date?"

"…yes?" Bo was confused. "I thought you'd be happy."

"I'm just…flabbergasted. I didn't know Succubi went on dates."

Bo stepped past Lauren into the room. "Usually we don't. But I thought _maaaybe_ I'd make an exception with you, since I _kinda_ like you. It's only fair that I try and romance you a little bit before I get back in your pants." She placed the flowers and candy onto Lauren's TV stand, and whirled on the Doctor. "Nice outfit, by the way."

Lauren looked down. Her top was askew, and her jeans were unzipped. She hastily corrected both, as her cheeks burned red.

"There's no rush," Bo teased. "I like seeing you when you're all…messy."

Lauren rolled her eyes, and turned her back to Bo. "There's a button, just at the top of the shirt, here. Can you get it for me? I can't reach." Lauren pulled her hair up and out of the way, so Bo could see.

Bo grinned. Boy, could she ever see. Slender, graceful neck, smooth, tanned skin. She crossed the distance between them, and placed her hands gently on Lauren's hips, sliding them upward towards her neck. Bo leaned in and kissed the bare skin there. She heard Lauren gasp (god how Bo loved that sound) as she buttoned the shirt, simultaneously tracing a line with her lips from Lauren's neck to the sensitive triangle behind her ear…

"Bo?" Lauren whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What happened to romance before pants?"

Bo sighed. "Right," her tone was mildly disappointed. "Right!" She spun Lauren around wildly, and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Get your shoes on, and let's go."

Lauren frowned. "It's raining…I don't have a jacket…"

"No problem. I'll keep you warm. And," Bo pulled a small, plastic something from her bag. She hit a button, and it expanded to full size, nearly taking Lauren's head off. "You can stand under my um-ba-rella ella ella hey hey hey, under my um-ba-rella ella ella hey hey…"

Lauren rolled her eyes skyward at Bo's ridiculous, but vocally in-tune, R&B ditty. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

It wasn't until they were outside that Bo realized what a good idea the umbrella was. The rain wasn't even rain so much as an occasional mist, thickening the air and rising from the pavement. The key benefit to the umbrella was the necessary closeness it fostered between the two women. There was only so much space under their shelter, which meant Lauren's arm wrapped around her waist, turned inward, upper body pressed firmly against Bo's shoulder and arm as they walked.

And more bodily contact with Lauren made Bo a happy, happy girl.

But even for all that, Bo could not keep her eyes off of their surroundings as they walked down the Las Ramblas. Never being out of North America, Bo had never seen these styles of architecture before, or the care and artistry put into everything from a building to a simple street lamp. She didn't have to know much about anything to know that this stuff just _looked cool_.

Lauren, for her part, could not keep her eyes off of Bo, and couldn't keep the goofy smile off of her face. She loved reading Bo's expressions, and loved that she was getting to watch Bo's eyes light up at so many new sights and sounds and even smells. She looked like a kid at Christmas. Lauren gulped at the warm, fuzzy feeling growing somewhere in her stomach.

"You've been here before, haven't you?" Bo asked, as they passed a vendor selling songbirds, next to a street performing magician.

"I have. A long time ago."

Bo squeezed Lauren tighter to her. "I want you to show it to me."

"Show what to you?"

"All of it. Barcelona. Be my tour guide."

Lauren laughed. "I didn't know I was going to be _working_ on our first date."

"Well, it won't be _working_. It's more like volunteering. I don't plan to pay you."

"Oh really?" Lauren pulled back, grinning. "What incentive can I possibly have, then?"

Bo kissed her, lightly, on the lips. "My eternal gratitude. Two free backrubs, to be redeemed at a time and place of your choosing." She dug around in Lauren's jean pockets, grinning as she found what she was looking for. "And the return of your precious one Euro coin." She held the coin in her fist, as far away from Lauren as she could get it.

Lauren tried to snatch at it but Bo, supernaturally stronger, easily held her in place. "Thief."

"Takes one to know one. It's why we're here in the first place."

"Touché," Lauren replied. "Two backrubs and a foot massage, and you can keep the Euro."

"Deal." Bo stuck out her hand. Instead of shaking it, Lauren brought it up to her lips, kissing the knuckles one by one. Bo laughed. "You're already the best tour guide I've ever had."

"Come on." Lauren smiled excitedly and pulled Bo towards the subway station. "It's getting late, and we don't have a lot of time."

* * *

For being a science geek, Lauren prided herself on the fact that she'd always had a healthy appreciation for the arts. She adored the collection of paintings and sculptures in her apartment. She took art history classes in college, as electives. One of the happiest moments of her Euro trip ten years ago was finally getting to see Botticelli's "Birth of Venus" in person. Lauren did not care if that made her pretentious. Art, like science, made her happy.

She suspected, however, that Bo would have little patience for museums…being a more visceral person in general. Bo, Lauren had quickly discovered, liked to touch and experience, not just look from a distance at an object behind glass. Luckily Barcelona's most famous architect, Antoni Gaudi, designed his buildings for people like Bo. So when she took Bo to the Casa Batllo ("It looks like a bony, scaly dragon.") and the Park Guell ("It's like being inside a Dr. Seuss book.") she was lucky enough to catch that glimmer in Bo's eye of excitement, discovery, and joy.

Now that she'd seen it, Lauren was sure she would never, ever get tired of it.

The air had dried out long ago, the umbrella cast aside and forgotten. Lauren grabbed Bo's hand and interlocked their fingers, as she led her, practically jogging, up the Passeig de Gracia. "Now, this is my _favorite _place. It's called the Casa Mila, or La Pedrera. You can go up to the roof, and the whole terrace looks like a wavy orange chessboard, and the ventilation towers look like Storm Troopers, and the view of the city is just _gorgeous_ and the whole thing looks like…"

"A cave, turned inside out," Bo finished, as they rounded a corner and the building came into view.

"Precisely. Or maybe a grotto. And it also looks like…"

"It's closed." Bo frowned.

"Nooooooo..." Lauren let out a disappointed groan and sank down, slumped over, like someone had just told her that her favorite mathematical formula had been disproven. She looked up. Bo was right, all the interior lights had been turned off, and the only person still around was a night watchmen sitting in front of the large double doors. "I thought we'd make it in time. Sorry. I'm a failure as a tour guide. You can knock one back rub off of my fee."

"Don't be dumb." Bo lifted her back up. "Who cares if it's closed?"

"What are you talking about. We can't get in, Bo."

"Hell_OOO_? Succubus." Bo pointed to herself. "Come on, follow me."

The pudgy, mustachioed security guard seemed bored, like he'd rather be anywhere else than sitting in front of a building the rest of the night. But he stood and immediately perked up as the two women approached, and Bo threw him her most winning smile. "Buenas noches. Habla ingles?" She asked in a horrible accent, as Lauren stood behind her and tried not to laugh.

"Si," the guard answered.

"We'd like to go inside, please."

"Sorry." The guard shrugged. He really did seem apologetic. "Closed."

Bo took a step forward. She ran her palm along the guard's hand, slipping it underneath the cuff of his blue uniform. "Are you sure you can't let us in? We'd really, _really_ like to see what's inside."

Lauren could see the transfer of energy, as Bo's hand and arm glowed red. The expression on the guard's face went from apologetic to enamored to punch drunk in the span of about a half a second. "Okay." He nodded, pulled the keys out from his pocket, and heaved open the heavy front doors. "Be quick."

"We will." Bo slid a hand along his cheek. "Promise."

Lauren gave him a half grin half grimace as they walked past, and he closed the door behind them. "What if we get caught!?" Lauren whispered in the darkness of the atrium.

"Would you just relax? If we get caught I'll charm the pants off of everybody, and you can run away."

Lauren scoffed. "Whoever coined the phrase 'you can't always get what you want' obviously never met you."

"Obviously," Bo agreed. "Where's the elevator?"

Lauren glanced around in the darkness, until she spotted the glow from the up/down buttons. "Over here." She put her hand to the small of Bo's back, and led her to the end of the room. She pushed a button and the doors opened immediately, casting fluorescent light over the polished wood floor.

"Going up or down?" Bo asked playfully.

"Up, for now. Maybe down later, depending on how the night goes." Lauren winked cheekily as Bo pressed the top button for the roof and the doors ding-ed shut. The elevator started its rise to the top floor – not much faster that a snail's pace.

"Do I look like that, when you…thrall me? Do I get that vacant expression on my face?" Lauren wondered aloud.

"Yes. But you take it one step further, and drool from the left side of your mouth."

"No I don't…do I?"

Bo grinned. "No, I was just messing with you. But you _do_ make this unbelievably attractive soft, moany noise." Lauren stared at her shoes in embarrassment, as Bo leaned against the wall. "Anyway if it makes you feel any better, I told Kenzi I thought you had a Fae superpower too."

Lauren looked up at Bo, and pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Really?"

Bo stared back at Lauren – the Doctor's brown eyes smoldered. "You're doing it right now, in fact."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You _so_ are, even if you don't realize it." Bo teased, as Lauren's gaze slid down to Bo's chest and back up again. "Lauren Lewis, your Fae superpower is 'eye sex'."

Lauren closed the space between them. She placed a hand on either side of the Succubus, never taking her eyes off of Bo's. "And what on Earth is eye sex?"

"It's when you look at me, and your aura is scorching hot all around you, and it feels like you're already stripping me naked and throwing me down on the bed without even touching me."

Lauren grinned mischievously. "How interesting. And I'm doing this right now?"

Bo bit her lip and nodded. Lauren internalized this new information about eye sex, and pondered how to use it to her advantage in the future. The elevator doors opened, and the women were hit with a blast of cool air.

"Come on." Lauren grabbed Bo's hands in hers and walked backwards, leading her out of the elevator and onto the roof. As soon as Lauren set foot on the pavement, a set of automatic lights kicked on, bathing the space in a soft, orange glow.

"Oh, WOW." Bo's eyes grew wide as basketballs as she stepped into a surrealist dreamscape, where everything was waves and colors, and elaborate chimneys were silhouetted against the starless night sky. "This place is incredible. I can't even…_wow_."

"Let me show you," Lauren sucked on her lower lip to keep from grinning like an idiot as she led Bo up a set of stairs, to get a better look. "Gaudi built this entire terrace without straight lines. He wanted all the elements to be based on naturally occurring patterns, or shapes reminiscent to what you might find in nature. It's called biomorphism. But that's just where it starts – he wanted to build something that caused people's imaginations to spiral out and to impact not just their thoughts but their feelings and their moods."

Bo watched Lauren's face light up as she spoke. Bo couldn't get enough of 'geeky' Lauren – the way she talked faster when explaining things, the way she used her hands to accentuate certain words. "So, what do _you_ see and feel up here?" Bo asked.

"I see an intersection of science and art. Structure is achieved through mathematic principles, but beauty is achieved by the power of a brilliant mind to take the basic principles and turn them into something truly creative by finding inspiration in the mundane. Look here…" She led Bo to the edge of the roof. "Most buildings, you see angularity. But what Gaudi did is say, 'screw angles, let's use undulation." Lauren grabbed Bo's hand and set it on the railing. She slid Bo's hand across the concrete, so she could feel the way it dipped and curved. "You feel that line?"

"Yeah," Bo replied. Lauren removed Bo's hand, and placed it on Lauren's own outer thigh. She slowly slid Bo's hand up her side, from thigh to buttocks, hip to waist, all the way up to her chest.

"And you feel that?"

"Yes," Bo breathed.

Lauren grinned. "It's the same line. Same curvature. Gaudi married biology and art, science and imagination, in a way that is truly amazing. I'm up here, and it makes me feel…free, and excited, and horny, and inspired, and…" Lauren paused. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Bo stared at the Doctor, and slowly her mouth curled into a sideways grin. "I've never seen you like this before," she answered.

"Well." Lauren stared at her feet, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I don't normally…uh." She shook her head, "I don't usually…it's just…"

"Hey," Bo put her hand under Lauren's chin, and forced it back up. "I like it."

Lauren exhaled. Without meaning to, she'd revealed a little too much of herself to Bo. Badasses and scientists weren't supposed to have a soft side. The wind picked up, and she pushed her hair behind her ear. "Want to see the view?"

"Heck yeah. Lead the way, tour guide." Bo followed closely behind as they circled the perimeter, coming to a stop next to one of the ventilation shafts.

"We can't see it because it's too dark, but over there is the harbor and the Mediterranean Ocean. Over there is Montjuic and the 1992 Olympic Park. You see that big, phallic looking building lit up in about a hundred different colors? That's the Torre Agbar." She pointed toward the south. "And _that_ cathedral with all the towers? That's another Gaudi building. The Sagrada Familia. It's where we're going tomorrow. Ciara did some research, and she thinks it's the most likely hiding place for the handcuffs."

Bo had not been listening. Not carefully, anyway. She was too busy watching Lauren's hair blowing in the breeze. "Can you say that name again? I love it when you speak Spanish."

"The Sagrada Familia?"

"Can you roll the r's?"

"The Sagrrrada Familia."

"Oh yeah. That's hot," Bo teased.

"Oh, shut up." Lauren gave Bo a playful shove. "I'm better at it than you are. Hablay anglays Mr. Night Watchman? You couldn't sound more American if you tried."

Bo scoffed. "It didn't matter what I said. The guy was staring at my chest the whole time anyway."

"Can you blame him?" Lauren chuckled. "Speaking of the guard…as much as I'd like to spend all night here, we should probably head back before your mojo wears off."

"Wait…show me that Sangria Family thing again." Bo asked. "I didn't get a good look the first time."

Lauren cocked an eyebrow. "What's there to show? It's right over there. Big towers? All lit up? Right there?"

Bo turned away, so Lauren wouldn't see her face. "I still don't see it…"

"Seriously?" Lauren stepped directly behind Bo. She physically shifted Bo's hips and turned her head, so she was staring right at the building. "There it is. See it now?"

Bo bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Nope."

"_What_? Are you _blind_, Succubus?" Lauren pressed in closer so their bodies were flush, and lifted Bo's hand in the air. She pointed it at the building, and pried Bo's index finger open, stretching it out with her thumb. "It's _right there_. Do you see it?"

Lauren felt Bo's body start to shake beneath her. "N-n-nope," Bo managed to squeeze out, before bursting into laughter.

Lauren sighed. "Think you're funny, do you?"

"Yep, I do." Bo turned to face Lauren and, on seeing the look on her face, burst into laughter again.

"Having a laugh at my expense, are you?"

"Yeah, I am." Bo said, wiping a tear from her eye as a few more chuckles escaped. "You're a doctor, don't you know that laughter is the best medicine?"

"I _have_ heard that before. Never tested the theory." Lauren scratched her chin. "In the interest of scientific discovery, I may have to perscribe a preventative dosage."

"What the heck does that –AH!" Bo shouted as Lauren dove for her stomach, nimble fingers latching onto Bo's sides and tickling her mercilesly. "Wait, no, stop!" She shouted between laughs, but Lauren had her pinned against an air vent. "Lauren! Ah!" Her voice echoed through the night air.

"Do you give?"

"I give, I give, you win!" Bo shouted. Lauren's fingers stopped moving, but she didn't let go of Bo's waist as an evil smile curled across her face.

Bo stood up straight, to regain her composure, and fixed her eyes on Lauren's. "That was a bold move, attacking a Succubus."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Lauren pulled Bo closer, until their hips were pasted together.

Bo grinned. "Nothing, for now. I can be patient." She leaned in, so that their foreheads touched. "I can wait. And wait. And wait. And then, when you least expect it," she ghosted her lips over Lauren's, "that's when I'll pounce."

They hovered in place for what seemed like ages.

It was Lauren who initiated the kiss.

It was soft. Sweet. Sensual. Perfect. Lauren ran her hands through Bo's hair, gently massaging her scalp and turning her head to just the right angle to force the kiss deeper. She moaned softly as Bo massaged her lips and tongue with gentle strokes in a way that spoke of intimacy, experience, and inexhaustible craving. Lauren had never felt anything quite like kissing a Succubus.

The breeze swirled around them, gently blowing Lauren's hair against Bo's cheek. Bo sighed contentedly into the kiss as she realized – she had never felt anything quite like kissing Lauren.

Somewhere to the South, a clock chimed eight. Reluctantly, and with a Hurculean effort, Lauren pulled away. "We really should go," she whispered.

"I'm pretty happy with just staying here," Bo replied.

"Trust me." Lauren stepped back, motioning toward the elevator. "I have one more place I want to take you."


	21. Olé

**Chapter 21 – Ol****é**

"Wow, you're slow." Lauren turned around and walked backwards, waiting for Bo to catch up. "So much for superhuman Succubus powers."

"Yeah well, strength and chi-sucking don't do me any good when it comes to high heels and cobblestones." Bo hobbled a little bit faster, heels clicking on the stones under her feet.

"Why didn't you pack a pair of those ass-kicking boots that you and Kenzi love so much?"

"They wouldn't fit in my suitcase," Bo replied. "And they weigh like, twenty pounds."

Lauren jogged up to Bo, kissed her forehead, and then jogged backward, teasingly. "Want me to give you a piggyback ride? We'll never get there at this rate."

"You know, for a while there I was starting to like you, but I think I changed my mind."

Lauren grinned. "As long as I know where we stand." She waited for Bo to catch up, and held out an elbow. Bo gratefully wrapped her arm around Lauren's for support.

"Where are we, anyway?" Bo asked. Over the past ten minutes, Lauren had led her down so many narrow side streets and back alleys Bo was sure that if Lauren abandoned her to her own devices, she'd never be able to find her way out again.

"This is the Barri Gotic. The Gothic Quarter. It's the old city center of Barcelona. A lot of these buildings date all the way back to Roman and Medieval times. The same streets we're walking now were trodden by the Visigoths and the Carthaginians. Maybe even Charlemagne himself."

"It's like a maze."

"More of a labyrinth, really. We're quite far off of the tourist map right now."

They passed under an ornamental arch connecting two ancient buildings. The alley grew so narrow they could no longer walk side by side. Bo fell in step behind Lauren. "And you know where we are?"

"I think so."

"You _think_ so?"

"Well…it _has_ been almost ten years. I'm not even sure if the place I'm looking for even exists anymore," Lauren admitted, with a shrug. "But if it does, it'll be worth it. You trust me, right?"

Bo narrowed her eyes at the Doctor. "Sort of."

"Well, that's better than _no_." Lauren smiled as they emerged from an alley not much wider than shoulder width, and stepped out into an open square. "HA! Yes! This is it."

"What's _it_? I don't see anything." Bo's eyes swept the dimly lit square, where the only living things around were two bored looking pigeons out past their bedtime.

Lauren curled her fingers through Bo's so that their palms were touching. She backed into the square, dragging Bo along with her, and stopped right in the middle. Musky old buildings loomed around them like ancient sentinels. Bo watched, fascinated, as Lauren's face erupted into something like joy. "I was right. You can't see it from here. But if you listen closely, you'll be able to hear it. It's right under your feet."

Bo tilted her ear toward the ground, and concentrated. Now that Lauren had mentioned it, she thought she could hear a rhythmic, repetitive noise from below – almost like clapping.

"Ha ha!" Lauren practically yanked Bo to the corner of the square, where a steep set of stairs led down into the darkness. "I can't believe it's still here!" She skipped down the stairs, two at a time, and didn't even realize Bo wasn't following until she was halfway down. "What are you waiting for, let's go!"

"Down there?" Bo asked.

"Don't tell me Succubi are afraid of the dark," Lauren teased.

"Succubi aren't afraid of anything." Bo tilted her chin up and defiantly strode down the stairs.

"Except flying?" Lauren whispered in her ear as Bo stomped past.

Bo ignored the Doctor. She reached the bottom of the stairs, and stood in front of a large, thick, weather-beaten wood door. There was no signage here at the bottom, and no indication about what may be found on the other side. "There isn't a chainsaw wielding psycho down here, waiting to sell me for parts, is there?" She asked Lauren, as she reached the landing.

"Your parts are perfect exactly as they are," Lauren replied. "Any human with an ounce of business sense would know that the best way to make a profit off of a Succubus is to bottle your chi, not your liver."

"Great. That makes me feel better."

Lauren cupped Bo's chin in her hands. "You're being ridiculous. I'm taking you to a juerga."

"What's a juerga?"

Lauren grinned. "Open the door and find out."

* * *

The second Bo heaved open the heavy wooden doors, the dull, rhythmic noises morphed into a cacophonous roar, tearing through her eardrums. Light streamed from the end of a twenty foot tunnel. She could smell booze, cigar smoke, and some sort of baking dough as Lauren led her inside. And simmering underneath it all Bo felt an undercurrent of sexual energy.

She quickly decided that a juerga, whatever it was, was delicious.

Lauren led Bo to the end of the tunnel, and Bo got a good look at what exactly was making all the racket. She found herself in a huge room, with at least thirty tables all set up in a circle around a jam packed dance floor. There must have been close to two hundred people crowded in a space not much larger than a tennis court. Men and women with guitars and drums provided the music, while nine or ten couples danced. Some people clapped along, others were stumbling away from a makeshift bar, falling down drunk, still others were groping each other and making out in darkened corners. It was lusty, it was hot, and loud, and to Bo, mouthwatering.

Lauren had to raise her voice to be heard over the sounds of guitar music and cheering. "This is the Taverna Jacinta. Almost all locals, all ages." As Lauren pointed this out, Bo noticed that the majority of the dancers were old enough to be her parents. "This is a juerga flamenca – it's a flamenco jam session – there's no formal distinction between the audience and the performers. If the mood strikes, anyone can get up and dance along. It's all a collective experience – playing, singing, dancing, and cheering."

"If the crowd likes something, they shout or clap their hands. The claps are called palmas." Lauren paused for effect, as shouts of "Olé!"rang out after a particularly slick dance move. "It's raw and steamy in the best possible way, right?"

Bo nodded, licking her lips. Lauren laughed. "Come on, let's go find a table." She practically had to drag the Succubus away from the dance floor. Lauren found an empty spot and plopped down, with Bo across from her. Lauren leaned in to initiate the conversation. "Flamenco is actually more closely associated with Andalucía, which is the southern part of Spain. But you can find it anywhere in the country, if you know where to look." Lauren winked.

A harried but friendly looking woman sidled up to their table. "Que te gusteria tomar?"

"Cava." Lauren replied with a smile. She held up two fingers. "Dos. Por favor."

"What was that?" Bo asked.

"I just ordered us drinks. At least, I hope so. I haven't had a Spanish class since high school." At the table next to them, a group of men erupted into loud cheers.

"How did you find out about this place?" Bo asked.

"Ten years ago, between Pre Med and Med school, I decided to backpack around Europe for a few months. Barcelona was my first stop. I was by myself, and I was fearless and stupid back then. So I followed a group of local girls my age that looked like they were out for a good time, and I ended up here."

"Ballsy move, Doc." Bo replied, clearly impressed.

"Thanks." Lauren grinned, as the waitress placed two glasses in front of them, and poured out the contents of a green bottle into both. "Actually," Lauren turned to the waitress, "dejar la botella?" The waitress nodded and walked away, leaving the two women with a bottle of sparkling wine between them. Bo held one of the glasses up to her nose.

Lauren laughed. "Does it smell good?"

"Huh?" Bo asked, confused. "Oh…no, I'm not smelling it. I just like the way the bubbles feel. It tickles."

Lauren laughed again – she suspected she had spent more time laughing in the past five hours than the past five weeks. She held up a glass for a toast. "To a romantic night in Barcelona."

"To trying new things." Bo raised her glass. They clinked. Bo took a sip, as the bubbles danced down her throat.

The musicians in the East corner completed their jam, to the sounds of applause echoing through the room. A guitarist two tables away picked up the slack, and soon a new group of dancers was invading the floor, while the others collapsed at tables for a drink and a break. Lauren turned and watched Bo's reaction – she caught the slightest glint of blue in the Succubus' eyes.

"Isn't it killing you right now, all this energy? Don't you want to go crazy? This must feel like a buffet dinner to you," Lauren said.

"Eh, it's not so bad." Bo shrugged. "I've had worse, believe me. Like every time I look at you for instance. Right now it's taking all my self-control to keep from throwing you down on this table, ripping your clothes off, and having my way with you."

Lauren choked on her cava.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Bo burst out laughing at Lauren's expression. "Well...sort of."

Lauren blushed a deep red, partially because of the cava but mostly because of Bo. "You have no idea how impressed I was, when you were talking about how you managed to keep your libido in check during high school – most Fae, whether they do it on purpose or not, are happy with feeding off of humans. For the most part, they have very little regard for the health and well-being of their…uh…prey."

Bo put a hand on Lauren's. "Well, I'm not most Fae. I happen to like humans. I happen to like you. And I'd rather keep you alive and play with you long term, than use you for a night or two and then run off to the next best thing."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Lauren said.

"Good," Bo replied. "You should. And I mean it."

"Bo, I…"

"Hola." Lauren was interrupted by an old man – at least seventy. He had grey hair, a bit of a stooped posture, and deep wrinkles etched into the skin of his face like canyons. The man grinned at Bo, and bowed. He held out a hand, and looked at her expectantly.

"Uh…Lauren?" Bo turned to her date. "What's going on?"

"I think he wants to dance with you," Lauren replied, sipping her cava.

"Oh…uh, no." Bo turned to the man, as politely as she possibly could. "No, I don't know how."

The man replied with a thirty second bout of Spanish, which Lauren was unable to translate. He grinned widely, and gestured for the Succubus to stand up. "Go for it," Lauren said. "He'll show you how. Take a chance. I want to see you move." She ran a finger along her champagne glass.

Bo groaned. "Fine, fine." She stood up and pushed her chair in. The man bowed again, and held out his arm. Bo curtsied awkwardly, and wrapped her wrist around his elbow. "But there was no flamenco in _Dirty Dancing_. If I make a fool of myself, you're the one to blame."

Lauren raised her glass. "I take full responsibility for any and all possible eventualities. Now go and show these Spaniards how it's done." She grinned, as the old man led Bo right to the middle of the dance floor and the drummers and guitarists picked up the pace to something a little more up-tempo and exotic.

Lauren couldn't keep the smile off her face as the man, shockingly spry for his age, began to move his hips to the music. He put his hands on Bo's waist, and moved her hips along with his. Lauren bit her lip, as a smile spread, beautiful and real, across the Succubus' face. Soon, she started to pick up the simple choreography. By the time Bo held a palm against his age-spotted face and dipped low, Lauren was all but transfixed by the gorgeous and game-for-it Succubus.

Bo may have been having a bit of fun, dancing. But Lauren was having the time of her life just watching her. Lauren took a very large swig of cava, to drown out those warm fuzzy feelings that insisted on rising up through her stomach no matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay. "Olé," she whispered, low enough that no one else could hear.

* * *

A few hours later they found themselves right back where they started – outside Lauren's hotel room. Except now they were dirty and disheveled from their Barcelona adventure, both having spent the last part of it learning the intricacies of Flamenco in a smoke filled bar. "Do you want to come in?" Lauren stepped aside, leaving room for Bo to enter.

"And sleep with you on the first date?" Bo grinned. "If I do that, you might think I'm a slut. And I don't want to give you the wrong idea."

Lauren laughed, playing it off, trying to hide her disappointment. "Fair enough." She brushed Bo's hair with her fingertips. "I had an incredible time tonight."

"Me too. Thanks for showing me around." Bo leaned in for a good night kiss. She'd meant it to be quick, but the moment her lips touched Lauren's she found she couldn't bring herself to pull away. It was a strange sensation for her, to be so _attached_ to someone that she suspected Lauren used glue for chapstick.

In the end, it was Lauren who broke away first. "Goodnight," the Doctor whispered, with one last peck on Bo's lips.

"Night."

Lauren gave Bo a smile, and closed the door on the Succubus. She heaved a huge sigh as her fingers lingered on the doorknob, desperate to be touching something else entirely. She stood in place, listening carefully as Bo's door opened and shut. Through the wall she was just barely able to hear Bo shuffling around – she heard a drawer open, and a few mysterious thumps.

Bo sat at her desk, and smacked her forehead off of the wood, twice, to try and clear thoughts of Lauren from her mind.

Lauren looked at the clock. It was almost 1 am, and they had a busy day tomorrow. Bed time. She wondered, not for the first time, what Bo wore to sleep in. "Come on," she muttered to herself. She kicked her shoes and socks off, placing them neatly in the corner. She opened her suitcase, chastising herself for not hanging up her clothes sooner. Everything was wrinkled. She pulled a tank top and a pair of shorts from her bag, slid out of her clothes, and headed for the shower.

Hotel showers always presented a challenge – a mundane but somehow pleasing puzzle to be solved. After an unintentionally invigorating burst of freezing water, Lauren mastered the hot and cold nozzles. She luxuriated in the feel of the hot water as it steamed up the mirrors, contentedly sighing as it rolled down her back.

Bo changed out of her clothes, lay on the bed in her yukata, and watched an entire episode of _The Simpsons_ dubbed in Spanish. There was no way she was getting to sleep any time soon, especially when she could hear the water running next door.

Lauren finished up and toweled off. The mirror was still steamed up. In a fit of childish giddiness which took her completely by surprise, she used her finger and wrote on the glass – L.L + B.D. She enclosed the letters in a heart outline. The Valentine's Day kind of heart, not the anatomically correct heart which, let's face it, couldn't look more different.

Of course, feelings of love originated in the brain anyway, not the heart. Even though the heart may palpitate upon seeing the person you're enamored with, it's the signals from the brain that tell it – 'hey, you really like this person, you'd better do something'. So really, she should have drawn a brain and not a cartoon heart. Lauren shook her head at her own ridiculousness and overanalysis, and wiped the letters away.

Lauren dried her hair and brushed her teeth, all the while replaying the events of the evening in her mind. Holding hands with Bo on La Rambla. Kissing Bo on the Casa Mila. Watching Bo dance at the Jacinta. Lauren gulped. She realized that, contrary to what she'd previously believed and intended, this was turning into much more than a sex thing.

Bo's _Simpsons_ episode ended. Another began – the one where Homer tries to build a barbecue pit. If Bo had been paying attention, she would have realized she'd seen that episode before. But the only thing that registered in Bo's mind was that Lauren was out of the shower.

Lauren grabbed her shirt and shorts from the towel rack. She made a face. The clothes were wrinkled. Wrinkled! How very un-Lauren-like. She placed them back in the suitcase and sat down on her bed.

She stared at their shared door.

She could overanalyze until morning. She could open her laptop, and make a list of pros and cons, build a pie chart, come up with a hundred statistical reasons why it would be a bad idea to unlock that door. She could rationalize the terrible unlikelihood of any relationship being a success, she could calculate the incredibly low amount of time that they had known each other, and the even lower amount of time they had been able to stand each other. She could count on two hands and feet the dangers to her welfare and safety being with a Succubus could portend. She could easily talk herself out of it, if she gave herself a few minutes to think.

She didn't even give herself a few seconds.

She crossed the room, turned the latch sideways, and unlocked the door.

Bo heard the click. The sound echoed through her brain.

Lauren draped her towel over a chair, and slid beneath the bedcovers. She lay on her side, back to the door, eyes closed. And she waited. She'd made her choice, and now it was up to Bo.

Lauren could hear the second hand of her wall clock, tick ticking away. It didn't get very far in its circular course before Lauren heard the soft squeak of a door opening. She grinned, and pulled the covers up over her face so Bo couldn't see.

Bo peeked inside. A sliver of light from the open curtain fell across the duvet. Bo watched Lauren's body rise and fall with each deep, slow breath. Bo knew Lauren wasn't sleeping. She could feel energy rising from her body like heat off the pavement. But it was different, somehow, like the variation between fire engine red and warm, rich maroon.

Bo closed the door behind her, and walked toward the bed, and Lauren. Her yukata slid into a puddle at her feet, as she lifted the duvet and slipped into the bed. She snuggled up behind Lauren, playing the big spoon, pleased by how well their bodies fit together. Bo skimmed a hand over Lauren's chest and kissed the back of her neck.

Lauren groaned, softly. "I really like you," she said, almost an admission of defeat. "A lot."

"I like you too," Bo whispered in her ear.

"Aaah," was Lauren's articulate response, as Bo's light, sweet touches turned more urgent. She teased and pulled at Lauren's nipples until the Doctor was writhing under her hands.

Bo lavished attention on the sweet spot behind Lauren's ear. "Now turn around, and kiss me like you mean it."

Lauren didn't need to be told twice. She rolled over and happily sunk into the warmth and comfort of Bo's lips, arms, and skin.

* * *

_Much, Much Later_

Lauren tapped gently at her keyboard. She made a few notes in her three ring binder, placed her pen between her teeth, and then pecked at the keyboard some more. Beside her, Bo shifted on the bed. The duvet slipped lower, and Lauren was momentarily transfixed by the perfect musculature of the Succubus' back and waist. As Lauren watched, Bo's lips curved into a smile.

"Are you staring at me?" She opened her eyes and asked, in a sleepy voice.

Busted.

"No. Well, yes," Lauren stumbled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Bo sat up, and pulled the covers up over her naked body. The room had grown chilly in the hours since their very heated session. She put her chin on Lauren's shoulder. "Don't you ever sleep?"

"I catch a few winks when I can." Lauren's attention was drawn back to her laptop. "Unfortunately, five days away from the office does not mean five days away from work. I'm expected to keep up with events back home. I am," she sighed, "forever at the beck and call of the Ash."

"Don't you get sick days or something? Isn't that a law? Workers' rights?"

"Human laws have no bearing on Fae laws, you should know that by now," Lauren softly chided the Succubus. "No, I don't get sick days."

"But what if you get sick?" Bo frowned.

"Then I suck it up, and do the best I can, and take frequent breaks." She gave Bo a smile. "And I wear a mask so I don't spread disease around…a doctor spreading illness to patients is a bit counterintuitive to the Hippocratic Oath."

"Ah, what do the hippos know," Bo scoffed.

Lauren looked at Bo, and slow-blinked. "The Hippocratic Oath is…"

"I know, I know, I was only teasing. I'm not that stupid." She kissed Lauren's bare shoulder. "What are you working on?"

"I'm going over my autopsy report for Arthur Naia again. You remember him?"

"The Luck Fae who got very unlucky at the Zamora Ball?"

"The very same."

"So you haven't figured out who killed him?"

"No. I still can't match the burn signature with any species of Fae." She grinned. "I may have just discovered the Fae equivalent of the Cercopithecus Lomamiensis."

"The _who's the what_ now?"

"A new species of monkey, just discovered in the Congo. Don't you read the news?" Lauren glanced over at Bo, who was clearly giving her a 'bitch, please' look. "Right. Dumb question. Anyway, I try to make jokes about it, but this case is driving me up the wall. I can't stand _not knowing_. It's the worst, most discouraging feeling." She sighed. "You know, I never have two seconds to relax, under the employ of the Ash."

Bo could see the frustration mounting in Lauren, as the little crease between her eyebrows grew deeper with every passing second she stared at the screen. Bo reached out her hand, and without warning, snapped the laptop shut.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sick," Bo replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm a Fae. I don't feel good. You're a doctor. It's your job to check me out. Do your job, Doc." Bo reached over Lauren's lap, placing the computer on the end table. She ripped the covers off of Lauren who was, to Bo's immense delight, still stark naked.

Lauren grinned, lying back on the pillows. "And the symptoms of this mystery illness are?"

"Hunger." Bo rolled on top of Lauren. "Craving, really." She bent down and kissed Lauren's neck, drawing a gasp from the Doctor.

"Anything else?"

"I'm sore." She whispered in Lauren's ear. She pushed her knee between Lauren's legs, straddling her thigh. "I ache…all over."

"I see." Lauren's body rose to meet the Succubus. "Show me where it hurts the most."

Bo lifted Lauren's hand and placed it on her chest. She slid it all the way down her body, the final destination the heat and wetness pooling between Bo's thighs. "Right there." Bo arched her back as Lauren slid her fingers across Bo's center.

"Well," Lauren breathed, "that _is_ a problem."

"So, what do you think we should do, Doc?"

Lauren sat up, so her eyes were only inches from Bo's. "Take two aspirin, and call me in the morning." She gave Bo a peck on the cheek, lay back down on the bed and rolled onto her side, away from one mightily confused Succubus.

Bo's mouth hung open, in complete shock. She was still straddling the Doctor, but something somewhere had gone horribly, horribly wrong. She stayed in place, dumbstruck, too surprised to even move.

Lauren grinned. She couldn't see it, but she could picture the indignant look on Bo's face. She silently counted up – at nine seconds Bo still hadn't moved or spoken. At thirteen seconds Bo heaved a sigh of such dejection it almost made Lauren burst out laughing. At fifteen seconds, Lauren felt Bo shift her weight away from her own body, resigned to the fact that she would not be getting lucky for the rest of the night.

At sixteen seconds, Lauren pounced.

She burst up and out, rolling Bo underneath her, pinning the Succubus' arms against the pillows above her head. She planted kisses all over Bo's prone body, one for every second she'd made Bo suffer, before placing one final, sensual, lustful kiss on Bo's waiting lips.

"You thought I was serious, didn't you?" Lauren laughed.

Bo's chest heaved up and down as she breathed, a heady mixture of desire and anger. "Yeah, I did. Not cool." She reached up and caught Lauren's lip between her teeth, giving it a tug.

"Don't worry." Lauren slid down Bo's body. "I'm a Doctor. I'll always fix what ails you. Now let's see what we can do about this ache."

"Olé," Bo moaned. Lauren dove in, and didn't come up for air.


	22. Live Studio Audience

**Chapter 22 – Live Studio Audience**

"Ooohh…what's this?" Kenzi snatched a box from Dyson's desk.

Lauren yawned. "Concentrated gastric fluid from a Hypaction – a Peruvian mountain goat that spits poison. The substance reacts violently when it comes into contact with metallic compounds, so we often use the fluid to cut through safes."

"What's this?" Kenzi picked up a tiny, rusted needle.

"The Dagger of Philestus, King of the Delphic Garden Fairies. Just the right size for picking locks." Lauren yawned again.

"How about this?" Kenzi picked up something that looked like a squishy, pale raisin.

"That would be a dehydrated centaur testicle."

Kenzi gagged, dropped the object on the night stand, and ran to the bathroom to wash her hands. Lauren heard her yell, "Horse balls!" over the sound of running water. Lauren's own laughter was cut off by another massive yawn.

"Are you alright?" Ciara asked. They were the only ones left in the room. Dyson and Hale were renting a car, and Bo was still zonked out in Lauren's room. The Doctor stifled a smile, at the memory of waking up with Bo that morning, warm bodies flush against each other, limbs still entwined.

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"Dried up horse balls, people!" Kenzi shouted from the bathroom.

"I can't imagine why you'd be tired," Ciara teased. "Rough night?"

"Rough. Gentle. And everything in between." Lauren gave a saucy wink.

"Yes!" Ciara patted her friend's thigh. "More than anyone I've ever met, you deserve a lifetime's supply of earth shattering shagathons."

"Um. Thanks?" Lauren laughed. "Although a lifetime supply does seem greedy. I'm willing to share, if you'd like."

"Trust me, if I ever become curious, you'll be my first port of call." Ciara grinned.

"Now I really _am_ flattered."

"Of course, by that time you might not even want me anymore."

"That's ridiculous. Why wouldn't I want you?"

"Horse! Balls!"

"Because you only have eyes for Bo. It's taken you what, all of two weeks? At the rate you're progressing, you'll be picking out carpets for the guest room and fighting over closet space before the end of the month."

"You're exaggerating."

"And you're smitten. Don't deny it."

Lauren blushed, but was saved from answering when Kenzi walked back into the room, hands red and raw from the scrubbing. A look of utter disgust was plastered on her face. "What the hell, Doc? Why would you keep something like that?"

"To foster mental distress in annoyingly curious humans," Lauren rolled her eyes. "It's all for you, Kenz."

"Kenz?" Kenzi whispered to herself, unaware that she and the Doc had progressed to nicknames. Or, in Kenzi's case, nicknames that weren't meant to annoy, alienate, offend, irritate, or otherwise act as a barrier to a real friendship.

The door opened with a squeak and in strode Bo, rubbing her eyes and yawning, looking for all the world like she'd been tossing and turning all night.

Which, in a way, she was.

Lauren felt her libido give an involuntary lurch, and Bo's yawn turned into a grin. Lauren silently cursed her lack of self-control. She was going to have to work on that.

"BoBo!" Kenzi hopped over and gave the Succubus a friendly hug. "How's my BFF? Good night's sleep?"

"Very satisfying," Bo replied. She sat next to Ciara on the bed. Lauren busied herself with gathering up her gear, sure that if she allowed herself one look at the Succubus sitting on the bed she might take her right then and there, Kenzi and Ciara be damned. She rolled her eyes at her own appetites, and packed up the COM sets instead.

Bo reached out toward the wrinkled, fleshy bit of centaur on the night stand. "What's this?"

"Don't touch it!" Kenzi flew across the room like Superman, slapping Bo's hand out of the way just in time.

"What was that about?" Bo snapped. She rubbed her wrist where Kenzi's knuckles had hit.

"I just saved your ass from pickled Fae genitalia and two weeks' worth of therapy."

"Not pickled," Lauren said. "Dehydrated."

Kenzi plopped back on the bed. "Your girlfriend has some weird kinks."

"Is that so?" Bo licked her lips. "I can't wait to find out all about them."

Lauren sighed as her forehead dropped to her palm. "Your mind really _is_ a gutter dweller."

"Oh, definitely." Bo grinned. "I have a huge house down there. Porch. Picket fence. Sex swing."

"O-KAY!" Kenzi got up off the bed. "We're gonna file that one under 'TMI', and I'm gonna get us some coffee." She crossed the room and opened the door, just as Dyson was reaching in from the other side. "Holy Wolfmother!" She grabbed her chest and staggered backward. "You scared the SHIT outta me, dude!"

Hale popped his head around. "Nah. If we scared the shit out of you, there'd be nothing left for you to talk about."

"Huh?" Everyone asked at the same time.

"You know," Hale stumbled, trying to explain himself. "Cause all she ever does is talk shit? No one else got that? Nothin?" The others just looked at him with something approaching pity. "Aw, hell with all of you."

"It's okay, Hale." Kenzi clapped him on the back. "From now on, leave the snark to the pros, yeah?" She led him to the bed, where he and Dyson took up the remaining space.

"Did you find us transport?" Ciara asked.

"Well, it has four wheels and it moves. So, yes," Dyson replied, cryptically. "We leave in three hours. Lauren, you did most of the research, how about a rundown?"

"Right." Lauren stood and cleared her throat. She assumed her professional air. "Our location today is the Basilica I Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Familia, more commonly known as just the Sagrada Familia. It's a large, uniquely conceptual Roman Catholic church, designed in a semi-Gothic fashion by the architect Antoni Gaudi…"

"He also designed the Casa Mila," Bo added, knowledgeably. "And the Park Guell. And the Casa…uh…the Casa…oh, the Casa Balki!"

"Balki?" Hale chuckled.

"Two out of three ain't bad," Dyson teased. "We should do the Dance of Joy!"

"I don't think I'm comfortable with that," Hale said. "These two ladies are still just _Perfect Strangers_ to us, after all."

Lauren sighed. "Dyson and Hale, your inexplicable knowledge of 80s sitcoms never ceases to amaze."

Dyson smirked. "What can I say? It was a good decade. I felt like I was…standing tall, on the wings of my dreams…"

Bo and Kenzi looked at each other, impossibly confused.

"Just YouTube it later," Lauren told them. "Now, can we get back to the job at hand?"

"Hardass," Hale muttered.

"_Anyway_, construction on the Sagrada Familia began in 1882, relying entirely on private donations. With the exception of the Spanish Civil War, it has been in a near constant state of construction ever since. It's not scheduled for completion until 2026, which means we'll be dodging cranes and power tools as well as security cameras and guards."

Kenzi frowned. "Why does a church need security cameras?"

"To keep people from stealing things," Bo replied.

Kenzi scoffed. "Like what? Sour wine and vanilla wafers?"

"You're going to Hell, you know that?"

"Actually," Lauren interrupted before things could get out of hand again, "Catholic churches in Europe have always been repositories for priceless art and historical artifacts. The church as an institution has amassed an untold fortune in gold and priceless jewels, all of which must be stored somewhere." She reached into her back, and pulled out a set of blueprints. She laid them on the bed, between her teammates. "I found these in the Barcelona Agency for Urban Development database. They would seem to indicate nothing out of the ordinary. However," she unrolled another long sheet of paper, "the Light conducted a clandestine survey of this area over twenty years ago. Utilizing Differential Acoustic Resonance Spectroscopy and a young Fae girl who could turn invisible and walk through walls, they determined that there are nearly six miles of passageways and vault space underneath the Sagrada Familia."

"Why do the Light care about a bunch of human gold?" Bo asked.

"They care because this particular church is thought to have strong associations with three of the five Dark Fae royal families. Alphonse de Campolisto, head of the Oscuro Family, was one of the chief financial contributors in the early days of construction."

"Ooh, ooh!" Kenzi raised her hand.

"…yes?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Oscuro means 'dark' in Spanish. Senor Douglas, ninth grade, C-plus, baby. Holla!" Kenzi victoriously raised the roof.

"Thank you, for that _valuable_ insight." Lauren could not keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "It has long been suspected that the vaults beneath the Sagrada Familia function as a giant safety deposit box for the Dark Fae of continental Europe. In addition, it was Oscuro's ancestor, Father Paulo de Rincon, who famously possessed and used the Cordoba Shackles – the freaky handcuffs," she added, for Bo and Kenzi's benefit, "during the latter years of the Spanish Inquisition. For these and other reasons, we're 95 percent sure that the shackles can be found here."

Ciara frowned. "There is one rather glaring problem. There are, as you say, six miles of tunnels under the church. How on earth do we find one small set of handcuffs?"

"With this." Lauren picked up the centaur remains between two fingers.

"Oh, the humanity!" Kenzi recoiled.

"Centaur testicle, also known as Gorthencya. Worth more than this hotel. It has many uses, one of which is a tracking device. Grind it up into a fine powder, speak an incantation followed by the name of the object you're looking for. Then just blow, and follow the dust cloud. Simple."

Kenzi looked like she might horf. "What sick, perverted, Fae Wizard freak figured that shit out?"

Lauren placed the Gorthencya in a small case, then returned it to her bag. "Actually it was Leonardo da Vinci, back in 1483. He really was much more than a painter."

"You're gonna wash those hands, right?"

Lauren rolled her eyes. "That Gorthencya is two hundred years old. And it's been sanitized."

Bo's mouth curled down in disgust. "You didn't answer her question, Lauren."

"Oh for the sake of fuck," Lauren threw up her arms and stomped into Dyson's bathroom. They heard the sound of rushing water. "If you knew all the places these hands have been, Succubus, you'd never let me touch you again!"

"Oh yeah? Well…ditto!" Bo shouted back.

The room dropped into an uncomfortable silence. Dyson shook his head. "That was the most inane argument I've heard in centuries."

"Was that an argument?" Bo wondered. "Really?"

"Yes. A dumb one."

"Huh." Bo's eyes widened in amazement. She'd never been with one of her sexual partners long enough to have an argument before. How exciting! She shot up off the bed and ran to the bathroom, where Lauren was drying her hands. "Hey guess what? We just had our first fight!"

Lauren narrowed her eyes. "Congratulations?"

"Don't you understand? This is great! We need to celebrate!" Bo's eyes flashed blue, and she slammed the door shut with her foot. Before she knew what was happening Lauren was pinned against the towel rack, her lips under tactile assault from a suddenly ravenous Succubus.

"Oh no!" Dyson shouted. "Not in my bathroom, you don't!" He slammed his palm against the door. "Bo! You keep those pants ON, do you hear me!"

Ciara, Hale and Kenzi looked at each other, and burst into peals of laughter. Ciara wiped her eyes, as Dyson pounded on the bathroom door. "I told you. First date. First fight. It's only a matter of time before they're buying hers and hers bathrobes and weekending at their cottage by the lake."

"Well shit," Kenzi said. "I might have to invest in some soundproof walls. Or, you know, walls. Period."

"I'm coming in!" Dyson warned. He took a step back, and rammed all his weight against the door. The wood frame snapped, and he fell in, slamming his head against the toilet seat and hitting the ground at the feet of one very hungry Succubus and one very embarrassed Doctor. "Owwww…" he groaned, seeing stars.

Hale grinned. "It's like a wacky 80s sitcom, and we're the live studio audience."

"Where's the popcorn when you need it?" Kenzi added. They couldn't see what was going on in the bathroom, but they could hear it.

"You're bleeding. Let me take a look," Lauren said.

"Don't touch it! It hurts!"

Bo scoffed. "I thought you were a wolf, not a chicken."

"I _will_ kill you, Succubus."

"Sure, after you recover from your 'owie'."

"Bo? You're not helping."

"Just let me handle it, Lauren. I can fix him in two seconds."

"I _said_ don't touch me!"

"Why, afraid you might like it?"

"Bo!"

"Sorry Doc. Instinct. It's a bitch."

"So are you," Dyson spat.

"Hey!" There was a loud thump, and another growl of pain.

"You KICKED me!"

"You DESERVED it!"

"Get OUT!" Lauren shouted, as Bo stumbled out of the bathroom and the door slammed behind her.

"She pushed me!" Bo told the audience, indignant. Though it was hard to take her seriously with her leather pants pooled around her ankles.

"Cue the laugh track?" Kenzi asked.

"Cue the laugh track," Hale and Ciara agreed. The three of them broke out in uncontrollable snorts and guffaws, as Bo snatched her pants back up to her waist and Dyson howled in pain from the bathroom.


	23. Diversions with a Capital D

**Chapter 23 – Diversions with a Capital "D"**

Bo tapped Dyson's shoulder. "If you'd just let me fix it…"

"Fuck. Off." Dyson pouted from the driver's seat, arms crossed, staring out the window. A comically large and thick bandage covered the cut on his forehead.

"Fine,"Bo snapped. She plopped back in her seat.

Lauren frowned. Bo had accidentally bumped her chair, _again_. That was the third time. The rental was much too small for six people and all their gear.

"Where did you even find this hunk of junk?" Bo asked, referring to their beat up, dark blue, rusted out van. "I mean, I _own_ a hunk of junk, and even _my_ car wouldn't be caught dead at a drive-in with this thing. I thought Europeans all drove Fiats and Mercedes-es."

"Yeah well, creepy European stalkers need wheels too." Kenzi hovered over Lauren's shoulder, watching her as she worked. "I'm not surprised the Big Bad Wolf knew where to get one."

"One more crack like that, and you're out," Dyson growled. "Any luck, Lauren?"

"Still working on it." She leaned in close to the screen, scanning through endless lines of code. This being an international snatch-and-dash, she didn't have her usual assortment of surveillance equipment and monitors. Airlines charged an Octopede's worth of arms and legs for extra baggage. As Kenzi watched her every move, breathing a heady mix of stale alcohol and Fresh Mint Tic Tacs on her neck, Lauren reflected that she was dealing with enough extra baggage already.

No, all Lauren had for this job was her laptop and her wits. Which, granted, still made her a formidable human.

"Yes!" She slapped her hand on the car seat, and a whisp of what she hoped was just dust (and not powdered Rohypnol) flew into the air. Thirty-two tiny displays popped up on the eighteen inch laptop screen. "I'm in!" She enlarged one of the monitors to full size. A Japanese tour group wandered through the cathedral nave, snapping photos. Lauren could hear their tour guide shouting 'hayaku, hayaku!' Hurry, hurry. She cracked her knuckles. "Full video and audio capabilities, at our disposal."

"Any sign of Hale and Ciara?" Dyson asked.

Lauren minimized the transcept monitor, and the 32 smaller cams re-emerged. "The images are too small to pick out individual faces. COMs are going to be vital on this one. I'll need audio cues from you as you move throughout. As for visual in the tunnels…" she dug around in her duffel bag, "one of you lucky treasure hunters gets to wear this." Lauren pulled out a beanie with a three inch wide, one inch thick camera perched on top.

"Not it!" Bo and Kenzi shouted at the same time.

Lauren grinned at Dyson, handing him the hat. "Happy hunting." He looked at it like it was carrying infectious diseases from a thousand contagious Fae.

"Hey, it's a wolf cam!" Kenzi shouted with glee. "Just try to keep your nose away from your crotch, and we'll be all good."

"Who's sticking whose nose in whose crotch?" Hale's voice rang out over the cheap laptop speakers.

"No one, unless you buy me a drink first," Bo quipped.

"A'ight, let's do it," Hale joked. He and Ciara were scouting the interior of the Sagrada Familia, searching for the entrance to the underground tunnels. It was late evening, but the building was still packed with tourists gawking up at the crazy geometric shapes on the ceiling and walls. If Lauren had been inside with them, she could have told them that the shapes were hyperboloids, paraboloids, helicoids, and conoids. A large portion of the cathedral, including the apse and the staircase leading down to the crypt, was closed for construction. A huge, bright yellow Caterpillar crane took up the space where the altar should be.

"Hey Doc," Hale continued, "Do you think my Siren skills would work through the speaker? Like, if I was going to sing into this microphone, could I get you to take your top off?"

"No," Lauren replied, dryly. "The influence you exert through your voice is predominantly based on directed waves and vibrations. The source of the sound, you, transfers the vibrations of rhythm to your surrounding area, disturbing the air in a regular, periodic way; these disturbances are picked up by your victim's ear. If this is done indirectly, as via a recording, the resulting waves do not have the umpfh to make much of a difference."

"That's a scientific term," Kenzi said. "Umpfh. You can measure it in units of _kapow_."

"Where are you, anyway?" Lauren asked. "I can't find you on the monitors."

"We're following along the East side of the nave, by the Nativity Façade," Ciara chimed in. Lauren located the closest security camera. She spotted Hale's old man hat and pulled the shot up wide.

Hale groaned. "I've been whistling at walls and floors for twenty minutes, guys. The bounceback signatures have all been the same – solid. I can't find the entrance. And my lips are starting to hurt."

"What, they don't' get enough practice?" Kenzi teased. "No kissy kissy for the Whistling Dixie?"

"Hey, I get more action in a week than you've ever had in your life."

"Don't believe him," Lauren cut in. "He's just a blow hard."

"Oh SNAP!" Kenzi reached out and slapped Lauren five. "Two points for the Doctor."

"How is it that I ended up the butt of everybody's jokes?" Hale wondered.

Dyson grinned. "It's hard to take a male siren seriously, you know that. You're more 'cockatiel' than 'cock of the walk'."

"More 'robin' than Batman," Bo added.

Kenzi laughed. "And do you wear those hats all the time because you think you're stylin', or because you're a balding eagle?"

"Enough!" Hale shouted, with a force that knocked down all the tourists in a five meter radius. "Oops." He surveyed the damage, as three quarters of the Japanese tour group rolled on the ground, groaning, dizzy and confused.

"Step away," Ciara grabbed his arm. "Slowly. Nonchalantly. We saw _nothing_."

"You're damn right, we see nothing," Hale grumbled. "This whole trip was pointless."

"Why don't you guys move away from the main tourist areas? They wouldn't put a trap door in a place where any idiot with a camera and a fanny pack could open it by mistake," Bo said.

"Unfortunately, too much of the interior is still under construction. Half of this place is roped off," Ciara said. "I can zip right in unseen, but not Hale. And there are too many people milling about to 'Siren Sing' all of them into submission."

Kenzi tapped her chin, and looked at Bo. "What we need…is a diversion."

"Oooooh no." Bo shook her head. "This isn't gonna be like the Winnipeg job. I'm not doing a strip tease in a church."

"Nobody's asking you to strip. Gawd, Bo. _Any_ excuse to take your clothes off…"

"Says the girl who sings Lady Gaga naked in front of her bedroom mirror every morning." Bo rolled her eyes.

"Hey! Love of one's own skin and a positive self-image is important! I may be a tiny stick figure with no boobage, but I was born this way, baby!" Kenzi pumped her fist in the air. "Wait…that's it! Nerd girl!" She turned to Lauren.

"…yes?"

"COM me!" Kenzi stuck her hand out, and a bemused Lauren placed a microphone headset into Kenzi's open palm. "Can you hack the PA system from here? And the lights?"

Lauren pecked briefly at the keyboard, pulling up a few new windows filled with symbols and numbers. "Yes. But I'd love to know where you're going with this."

Kenzi pulled her iPod out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Lauren. "When I give you the signal, play song number four on the Bootylicious Karaoke mix."

Lauren mouthed silently, "Bootylicious?"

"BoBo, you're coming with me." Kenzi slid open the van door, and pulled a very confused Succubus out with her. "You're my bouncer. If anyone comes near me, I don't care if it's a guard or a crazed groupie, you need to calm them down. Or knock their asses out, if you have to." She donned a pair of aviators, and popped the collar of her leather jacket.

"But what are you _doing_?" Bo asked, as Kenzi clipped on the COM set.

"Babycakes, we're doing what I do best. Being fabulous, and creating a diversion." Kenzi winked, and dragged Bo the two blocks to the Sagrada Familia.

* * *

Serena sat in an inconspicuous blue Fiat. The Succubus and the human walked right by, unnoticing. Through dumb luck, The Ash had chosen _her_ to scout out the Doc Squad, and determine their worth. She'd placed a bug on the bumper of their crack van hours ago, and so far had heard the entire conversation. Strippers and birds and Lady Gaga. Obviously these people were amateurs. They couldn't be less of a threat to her.

That would not be the story she would feed the Ash. She would talk them up, call them the perfect team for the job. Consummate professionals, highly skilled thieves. She would lie straight out of her toned, sexy ass.

She gunned the engine and pulled away. No point in staying to witness any more nonsense, when there was a beach nearby, with Pina Coladas and lots of sexy Spanish hunks to oogle.

* * *

Bo paced back in forth in front of the crane. "Kenzi!" She whispered to the sky. "Have you lost your mind?" But Kenzi was well outside of earshot, channeling Spiderman as she scaled the crane arm. Bo watched, arms stretched out, ready to try and catch her roommate in the likely event that Kenzi plunged 40 feet to her demise.

Bo let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding as Kenzi reached the top and swung one leg, then the other, overtop of the rails of a scaffold attached to a huge stained glass window. So far, only a sculptor had noticed, and Bo was able to take him out easily with one brush to an unshaven cheek.

"Can you hear me, Doc?" Kenzi asked, as she steadied herself on the wood planks of the scaffold.

"I can hear you, but I really don't think…"

"Then _don't_ think. Hale, get ready for the diversion of your life. Thundercrotch, hit me with a spotlight and push play."

Lauren took a deep breath. She had to remind herself that she'd asked for this. She wanted Bo and Kenzi on her team. This was all her idea.

But this had not been what she was expecting. She said a silent prayer to no one in particular, and gave the mouse two clicks.

The lights in the cathedral went dark. All around Bo, people murmured their confusion in every language under the sun. And then from high above, a single high pitched voice, magnified by the church's audio system, rang out through the rafters.

"_It doesn't matter if you love him…or capital H-I-M._"

"Oh no," Bo whispered. "No, no, no…"

Lauren clicked the mouse again, and a single floodlight above the crane shone down on Kenzi like a beam from heaven. Kenzi, her face mostly hidden under the huge pair of sunglasses, raised a fist in the air.

"_Just put your paws up…Cause you were born this way, baby_!" Kenzi shouted, as every single face in the cathedral turned in her direction. Suddenly, the speakers blasted to life with a pop beat to back the vocals of one truly outrageous, undeniably extraordinary human. "Come on!"

Kenzi clapped her hands, stomped her feet, and roared her way into the first verse. _"My momma told me when I was young, we are all born superstars…"_

Bo looked around. She was shocked to see people were bobbing their heads, smiling, clapping along with Kenzi. Well, most of them. Bo could clearly see a small army of security personnel barreling her way. She cracked her knuckles. Time to go to work.

"_There's nothin wrong with loving who you are, she said cause he made you perfect babe…"_

"What the HELL?" Hale whispered.

"Let's go!" Ciara grabbed his arm, but his face never left Kenzi as Ciara dragged him under the ropes, to the closed off portion of the Sagrada Familia cathedral. "Can you still pick up audio clues over the synth?"

"Of course. I got this." Hale ripped his eyes away from an unexpectedly talented Kenzi, puckered his lips, and went back to whistling while he worked.

"_I'm beautiful in my way, cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way!"_

"You know," Lauren chuckled to Dyson, "this is actually an appropriate song choice for a cathedral."

Dyson still couldn't believe what he was witnessing. "Lauren…how could we have let this happen?"

"It's working, isn't it? No one's paying attention to Hale." She clapped him on the back.

"_Don't be a drag, just be a queen…"_

As Kenzi strutted, danced, and pulled "Vogue" poses to a now bouncing, lip synching crowd, Bo was starting to sweat. Guards continued to stream toward the crane, only to stumble confusedly away after Bo finished with them. Exerting her influence and thralling them all was making her incredibly hungry. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep this up.

"I think I might have found something!" Hale shouted over the racket, stepping into the left sacristy. "Stay tuned you guys, I want to make sure…"

"_A different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-I-M!"_

Lauren looked at Dyson again, and grinned from ear to ear. "Dyson?"

"What?"

"You're tapping your fingers."

"I am not!" He snatched his hands away from the dashboard, and tucked them under his armpits.

"_Mi amore vole fe yah!"_

"Yes!" Hale shouted, triumphantly. He stood behind one of the administrative desks. "Found it! The entrance is just behind this bookshelf!"

"Great," Lauren marked the spot on her map. "Bo and Hale, get out of there, before you get arrested. Dyson, pull the van out front to pick them up. Ciara, can you snatch Kenzi?"

"Yes ma'am."

"_I was born this wa-ay, I was born this wa-ay, I'm on the right track baby I was born this wa-_HEY!" Kenzi's final 'ay' was cut off as Ciara appeared on the scaffold and wrapped her arms around Kenzi's waist. They shimmered and disappeared, reappearing on the floor. "Thank you Barcelona!" she shouted, her voice trailing off as one leap later they were at the exits. One more leap and they were outside. The next thing she knew Kenzi found herself back in the van, the sliding door slamming shut behind her, as Hale and Bo plopped down on either side and Dyson peeled off into the Barcelona streets.

Hale looked back and forth between Kenzi and Bo. "You two…damn. That shit was…_damn_."

"Very elegantly put," Lauren teased from the passenger seat. "But really. That plan seemed unnecessary and complicated."

"Not to mention unrealistic and convoluted," Dyson added.

"Dangerous and impractical," Ciara chimed in.

"Psychotic and dumb," Bo muttered, still panting, trying to get her energy levels up.

"Of course it was." Kenzi rolled her eyes at the statements of the obvious. "It was also fun as hell, and not at all boring. And it got the job done. Now…who wants an encore?"

"No!" They all shouted at once.

"Everyone's a critic." Kenzi chuckled, good-naturedly. She bopped up and down in her seat, dancing to the music in her head.


	24. Mythical Guard Dogs

**Chapter 24 – Mythical Guard Dogs**

"Why am I stuck on the ground floor with _you_?" Kenzi pouted, as Lauren tightened her headphones and tried her best to ignore her fellow human. They were seated at a desk in what looked to be the bishop's office. Kenzi looked around nervously, as statues of saints and religious figures all seemed to be staring her down, judging her, looking down on her from the perches of bookshelves and mantles. She nervously shuffled closer to Lauren.

"It's because you're fragile, like a chopstick. You've got chopsticks for limbs, girlie girl," Hale responded. The team was connected over their COMs, and thanks to the Wolf Cam the humans had a Dyson-eye-view of what was happening in the tunnels. Lauren couldn't help but notice just how often the 'Wolf-Cam' seemed to be pointing straight down the plunging neckline of Bo's boob enhancing vest.

Apparently there was something Dyson liked about the Succubus after all. Two somethings, to be exact. Lauren chuckled to herself, causing Kenzi to shoot her a confused frown.

"I thought this was going to be dangerous?" Bo muttered, not bothering to hide her disappointment. "The scariest thing we've seen is a rat."

Lauren cleared her throat. "Rats are known carriers of a plethora of diseases, including but not limited to leptospirosis, salmonella enterica serovar typhimurium, murine typhus, hantavirus pulmonary syndrome…"

"Okay, okay." Bo rolled her eyes, but Dyson's head was pointed at Ciara's bum, so Lauren didn't see the reaction.

"I'm just trying to prove the point that rats are one of the scarier species on the surface of the Earth – Fae or otherwise."

"Point taken, geek out achieved, moving on," Ciara cut in. "Bo's right, this is a Dark Fae vault, why haven't we come across any sort of security system? I too was expecting a mythical guard dog of some sort."

"You mean like Cerberus, the three-headed freak that guards the gates of the Underworld and keeps the souls that have crossed the river Styx from ever escaping?" Kenzi asked.

Lauren gave her a 'WTF' look, but didn't say a word.

"_What_? I _read_."

"Do you?" Bo asked. "I've never seen you with anything but comic books and those trashy romance novels you think I don't know about."

Kenzi sighed, caught in her lie. "Actually, I think I saw it on a _Hercules_ rerun while I was playing hooky from school once. And don't knock bodice rippers. They feed the mind, body, and soul."

Bo scoffed. "Oh Fernando, take me back to your pirate ship and _ravish_ me with your throbbing, pulsating, engorged…"

"Not _quite_ like Cerberus," Lauren interrupted. "As a matter of interest, much of Greek mythology originated in fables written by an ancient Fae bard named Herodonticus. Cerberus was based on his pet dog – a terrier with a glandular problem who liked to sit by the river and bark at the fish."

Crickets over the COMs.

"I read too," Lauren shrugged. "But I read books you can't borrow from the public library."

"Well isn't _that_ special," Kenzi mocked. Just then there was a huge crash over the COMs, sending Lauren and Kenzi bolt upright.

"Are you guys okay?" Lauren pressed her COM to her eardrum. The Wolf Cam went to black. "Bo? Bo? Dyson can you hear me?"

Much to Lauren's relief, she heard Bo's voice over the sound of Hale, Dyson, and Ciara coughing. "We're fine. I think part of the ceiling caved in though, there's dust everywhe-ere." She choked on the last word. The Wolf Cam flickered back to life, Dyson's head pointed toward the source of the crash.

"I don't think it was a random cave in," he muttered, as a booming sound echoed through the dark corridor, and more debris fell. "I think we're about to meet the guard dog." The booming continued, drawing closer, and it soon became apparent that the noise was actually footsteps made from a creature MUCH bigger than a rat. They stepped forward, and dirt from centuries past fell from the ceiling onto their shoulders as they stared into the darkness. Dyson barked orders, looking at each of his teammates in turn. "Ciara, point that light over there. Hale, wet your whistle." Hale nodded and pursed his lips. "Bo…do whatever the hell it is that you do."

"Just pull that zipper down a few inches, show a little bit of skin. Maybe you can make it drown in its own drool." Kenzi grinned and popped a potato chip into her mouth. It was like watching a movie. A shaky, first person monster flick, like Cloverfield.

"Too bad you aren't here," Bo snarked. "You could nag the monster to death."

"You're like an old married couple, aren't you?" Lauren asked, reaching into Kenzi's bag and pulling out a ridged sour cream and onion chip. Carbs. Stressful moments required carbs.

"Kinda," Kenzi grinned. She put her hand over her mouthpiece, to keep their conversation private. "Does that mean that you and BoBo are the young married couple? Can't keep your hands off of each other. Can't keep your dirty bits off each other? Lots of smoochilooches and grabby grabbys and touch-a-touch-a-touch-me's?"

Lauren heard another banging noise over the COM. "This is not the time or place for this conversation," she hissed. "Dyson, can you give me a straight shot down that hallway? I'll see if I can zoom in on the image and let you know what you're up against."

"Yes ma'am." Dyson stared straight ahead at the approaching, shadowy figure. Lauren took a screenshot, and with a few clicks of her mouse had pulled it up in a Photoshop window. She zoomed in by a factor of four, adjusted for sharpness and brightness, and got a much clearer idea of exactly what was slowly approaching her team.

She gave an audible gasp. "You guys aren't wearing any fireproof undergarments, are you? Because that would have been _remarkable _foresight on your part."

"What do you mean by-WHOA!" Hale shouted as a streaming jet of fire erupted from the blackness and singed his sleeve. A smaller fireball came right after, striking the floor right at his feet. The temperature in the corridor leapt from 40 to 120 degrees Fahrenheit in the span of a half second. "Oh SHIT!" Hale raised his head just in time to see flaming orange as it approached, seemingly in slow motion, on a collision course with his forehead.

Had this been Detective William Haley Francois Santiago's last moment on earth, the last thought to pass through his mind would have been "Not the face!"

As it was, the orange fireball smashed against a glowing, electric blue barrier that hadn't been there a second before. Hale turned in shock to Ciara, whose features strained with the effort of keeping the barrier in place.

"You can do force fields?" He shouted.

"Darling, you haven't known me long enough to know half of what I can do," she grunted back. "Lauren? What is this thing?"

Lauren gulped. "Judging by the number of heads and the scale pigmentation – I'm fairly certain you're looking at a Lernaean Hydra."

Dyson's nostrils made a noise; it sounded like he was deflating. "Fuck. My. Ass."

"Um…_no thank you_," Kenzi muttered.

"Someone want to tell me what a Lennon's Hydra is?" Bo shouted over the crackling sound of fireballs slamming against the force field. The Succubus took note that it seemed to be turning a paler shade of blue.

That couldn't be good.

Lauren pulled up an article on the eBook version of her FaePoedia. "It's an extremely rare breed of dragon – honestly I thought they'd disappeared centuries ago. They can have anywhere from five to ten heads, all of which spit fire."

Kenzi tapped her lips. "That sounds familiar."

"It should. Hercules slayed a Lernaean Hydra as the second of his Twelve Labors. You probably saw Kevin Sorbo kill one back in the late nineties."

Kenzi shot Lauren a dirty look.

"Okay, fine, how do _we_ kill it?" Bo asked. Over the COM Lauren heard a series of high pitched whistles, as Hale searched for a frequency that could slay a dragon. She heard Dyson curse, as the pitch hit a particularly sensitive one for a wolf.

"You can't."

"Bullshit," Bo called, as Dyson's head swiveled in Bo's direction, giving Lauren a good look at the Succubus.

"You don't have the means to kill it, Bo. If you chop of one of the heads, two grow back in its place."

"Well, how did Kevin Sorbo do it then?"

It was Kenzi who answered the question. "Hercules chopped the heads off, but like, as SOON as he did it he had an amigo torch the stump so a new head couldn't grow back."

"Of course. He cauterized the roots. Theoretically, that could work," Lauren said. "Hale?"

"I got it Doc." He turned to the group. "Anyone have anything sharp and pointy that'll lop off a head or two? Or ten?"

"Hell yeah." Bo licked her lips and pulled a twenty-six inch sword from her thigh-high boots.

"Where did _that_ come from?" Lauren asked. "I thought the airline confiscated all your weapons?"

"They did," Bo admitted. "I bought this at a tourist shop on the Ramblas before our date. The same place I got your flowers and chocolates."

Lauren stood up out of her chair so fast she nearly hung herself on the cord of her headset. "You mean to tell me that you plan to attack a millennia old, immortal, mythological Underfae with some cheap strip of metal you bought from a place that sells tacky tourist kitsch, plastic bullfighters and goddamn postcards? You think that sliver of tinfoil is going to cut through dragon scales?"

"It will if I swing it hard enough."

Lauren flopped back into her seat, unable to formulate a response.

"Whatever you decide, do it fast!" Ciara groaned, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. "I can't hold this much longer!"

Dyson took off the Wolf Cam/beanie, and laid it on the ground next to him. "I'll try to distract it. Bo, you take care of the heads…if you can." Bo snarled at the doubt in Dyson's voice. "Hale, you're sure you can cauterize what's left?"

"Positive."

"Good. On my mark Ciara, I want you to drop the force field."

Ciara just nodded – she didn't have the energy left to speak.

Kenzi sat, riveted to the screen, and crossed herself.

"Two…one…mark!" Dyson yelled, and sprung forward, letting out guttural war cry. He was joined in the fray by Ciara, then Bo. Lauren swore silently – all she could see was their boots. The foot shot was interrupted only seconds later, when the screen flashed a bright orange and then they lost the feed entirely. The COMs went to static.

"What the fuck just happened?" Kenzi yelled to Lauren, who frantically bashed the keyboard trying to pull up the video. "Are they okay?"

"I don't _know_ Kenzi!" Lauren smashed at the keys, losing her cool in a most un-Lauren-like way. She yanked off her headset, and grabbed her bag from under the desk. "Stay here. Don't move."

"Where are you going?"

"To make sure that my best friends aren't dead."

"I'm coming with!" Kenzi shouted back, but Lauren was already out the door and halfway down the stairs.

* * *

"Bo!" Lauren shouted into the dark, empty corridor. The team had taken the flashlights, leaving her with a battered old Daerwyff Candle – it was an eternal burner, but it only gave off a tiny bit of light. She could barely see three feet in front of her own face. Hearing no answer, she picked up her pace to a jog. "Dyson! Hale! Ciara! BO!" She yelled each name in turn, with no response. Despite her normal, cool exterior, she was beginning to panic. She gripped the candle with white knuckles, ignoring the burning sensations as droplets of wax struck her skin.

She should have gone with them. Kenzi could have handled the surveillance. Why hadn't she gone with them? She beat herself up mentally, although not allowing herself to breach that darkest level and open the floodgates to the _real_ possibility that all her friends were dead. Instead, she tried for dark humor. "I swear to all the gods Bo, if you died I'm going to Dr. Frankenstein you back to life just so I can kill you again for being so reckless and stupid!" Her voice echoed through empty space, but again there was no answer. "Tourist shop sword," she muttered to herself, as she reached a fork in the path. She was 95% sure that Bo and the others had gone left…

"They aren't dead, they've just abandoned you." Lauren jumped at an unfamiliar male voice that seemed to be coming from the tunnel on the right. "You always knew they would, simple human that you are. Perhaps it's best it happened sooner, rather than later."

"Who are you?" Lauren held the candle out further, to illuminate the space.

"Would you believe me if I said I was your inner monologue? Or your conscience? The voice in the back of your mind that you try so desperately to ignore?"

"If that's the case, I believe I need to see a psychiatrist immediately," Lauren deadpanned.

The voice let out a bellowing laugh. "Humor. How very human of you, to use a defense mechanism to shield your weak, mortal mind from the truth."

"And what _is_ the truth?" Lauren asked, moving towards the voice and slowly, ever so slowly, pulling a small, empty bottle from her bag.

"You could be the smartest, most powerful, most beautiful human on the planet, and it would not make you good enough to kiss the ground at Bo's feet," the voice mocked. Lauren sucked in a breath. She couldn't help it. "By the simple fact of who she is and who you are, the limited duration of your pathetic human lifespan, your existence is almost irrelevant to her. You are dust in the wind, Dr. Lewis."

"Well, you know what they say. 'The candle that burns brightest,' et cetera." She continued to move forward; she was almost certain what she was up against, but she needed to keep the creature talking. She needed him to become corporeal.

"She could kill you, you know. Every time you take your clothes off, every time she fucks you, you put your life in the hands of a creature whose grip on 'control' is tenuous at best. A Succubus is a primal, visceral creature. And all it will take is one slip up…just one small mistake."

"I know, right? What a rush." Lauren kept her voice calm, light even. "Now I know how people feel when they skydive and jump canyons on motorcycles. It's dangerous. Exciting. Titillating, even." She turned the corner into the tunnel and thrust the candle forward. She felt something blow by her cheek, but saw nothing. Suddenly, the voice was coming from behind her.

"Of course, if she did kill you, it would not be a great loss, would it? Professionally, you could be replaced. Personally speaking, you have no family left. No contacts outside of the Fae world and, as we have already established, the Fae think no more of you than you would of a cockroach in your kitchen."

"I wouldn't know the feeling; my apartment is immaculate and I don't have cockroaches."

"It was a metaphor, Dr. Lewis.

"Funny, I wasn't aware that abasylrs spoke in metaphors. I thought your kind preferred a more straightforward approach," she taunted the Fae.

There was a long pause. "You know what I am."

"Phantom voice in the dark, you have no body but you create a strong breeze when you move. You are reading the insecurities and fears of my subconscious mind, trying to weaken me. It wasn't hard to figure out." Lauren loosened the cork on the vial. "You intend to break me down mentally, so you can boot me out and take over my body."

"Very impressive, Doctor. But then, intelligence was never your problem. It's the emotional part. Deep connections. That's where you're lacking. That's the real reason Nadia dumped you…it had nothing to do with arguments about laundry. Have you ever had a single _true _romantic relationship in your life? Or has it always been Friday nights alone in the lab, or alone in your bedroom wanking to fantasies of beautiful women?"

"You're trying very hard to make me feel angst. It isn't going to work, you know." She inched toward the voice again. She needed to get the timing just right…eventually he was going to hit on something that stung…

"Because you're a badass?" The voice chuckled.

"Of course."

"A badass who prefers to be alone."

"Yep."

"Who is alone by _choice_."

"Indeed."

"That's good. Because you will _always_ be alone. The Succubus will never love you."

"Who said anything about love? And I thought we'd already covered the Bo situation…"

"You aren't worthy of her, but it's not because you're human. Not really. Would you like to know the real reason?"

"Please, _do_ enlighten me."

"It's because you have the emotional depth of a flea, Doctor Lewis. You'll like her, a lot. You'll want her sexually, of course. But she will leave you, because no matter how much you might want to…you _can't_ love her back. You are too stubborn, and too stupid to let yourself." She flinched, and all of a sudden the voice was much closer, not even three feet away. "Sure, you put on your act. Your badass attitude. You let yourself be chased, you let yourself flirt, and you let yourself sleep with her. But you will never see yourself as her equal, because you sold yourself as a slave to her own kind for the price of almost nothing. She's Fae, so you can't trust her. You can't love her." The voice was right in front of her, now. "Of course, you won't have the intestinal fortitude to tell her until it's too late. But by then, she will be in too deep. And your hangups, and resentments, and everything that you are, will_** DESTROY HER**_."

That did it.

The voice roared with renewed power, fed by fear it had pulled from Lauren. She fought the instinct to jump backward as the ugliest face she'd ever seen appeared right in front of her nose, grinning with flesh and teeth deeply decayed. She managed to force down the thoughts of inadequacy and despair and revulsion that flooded through her, raised her hand and uncorked the bottle with her thumb.

"You're wrong," she said simply, and pointed it at the abasylr. Its yellowed eyes bulged and grew wide, but before it could speak again a sound not unlike a vacuum cleaner erupted from the glass. The abasylr's face burst into thousands of tiny particles, and was sucked unceremoniously into the bottle in Lauren's hands. With a shiver and a sigh, she put the cork back in, and shoved the bottle in her bag. "You're wrong," she repeated.

She hitched up the bag on her shoulder, pointed the candle toward the left hand passageway, and began to sprint.

* * *

"My lips are chapped," Hale put his fingers to the sensitive skin.

Dyson patted him on the back. "Partner, if the worst injury you have after going up against a dragon is a set of chapped lips, you should be a happy man."

"Seriously. All you had to do was stand back and toot your horn while we did the dirty work," Bo ripped off Hale's sleeve and wrapped it around one of several large burns on her arms.

"That shit was _silk_!"

"Would you rather I sucked your chi and healed myself that way?"

"If we can be naked and in my bed, absolutely."

"Guys," Ciara interrupted from further down the corridor. "Lauren's horse ball dust cloud has been hovering here, patiently waiting to show us the way. Perhaps we should get a move on?"

Hale grinned. "With that accent, you can even make 'horse ball' sound sexy. Wish I had an English accent like that." He tested it out for himself. "Pip pip cheerio, Bob's your uncle."

"Dude," Dyson said.

"That was brutal," Bo finished.

"Worst attempt I've heard in quite some time," Ciara agreed. "Possibly worse than Kevin Costner in Robin Hood."

"Hey, I liked that movie," Bo frowned.

"You'll forgive us if we don't value your opinion on movies, seeing as how you've seen Dirty Dancing twenty times."

"Lauren _told _you about that?"

"Speak of the devil," Dyson frowned, as he saw the familiar outline of the Doctor headed towards them. "What are you doing down here?"

"Making sure you didn't need medical attention," she replied. But her voice was low – and she seemed to be moving slowly, and with a limp. Dyson's smile slipped into a frown as she stepped further into the light.

Her shirt was covered in blood.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Bo was at her side in an instant, running her hands over Lauren's torso, making sure there weren't any gaping wounds.

"I'm alright. The blood isn't mine. I ran into catoblepas. This is just spatter." She pointed to her shirt. "Do you know how hard it is to aim at something when looking it in the eye causes instant death?"

"Catoblepas?"

"Two of them. That was after the abasylr and cave troll, but before the sphinx. At least she let me go without a fight after I answered her damn riddle. In short, it would appear that there are plenty of mythical guard dogs protecting these vaults." She looked at Bo, noticing the burns on her arms. "You're hurt. I have some ointment we can apply…

"Who cares about me, are you _sure_ you're okay? I've had a run in with an abasylr, and he almost had me in tears before my friend Aoife trapped him."

"I told you, I'm fine. Really."

Dyson lightly put a hand on her shoulder. "Why didn't you stay in the office with Kenzi?"

Lauren snatched her arm away. "I can pull my weight around here, just the same as you."

"You just took on five Underfae; I certainly wasn't questioning your worth."

Lauren sighed. "I'm sorry, Dyson. I didn't mean to snap. We lost the video feed and the COM feed, and I wanted to make sure none of you were injured."

"We're fine, you're fine, everyone's fine. But we're running out of time, and I really do suggest we haul ass." Ciara motioned toward the darkness.

"Seconded." Lauren held the candle in front of her, and strode purposefully into the tunnel. Bo followed, not trying to hide the look of concern on her face.

* * *

Kenzi popped her gum and spun around in the swivel chair until she became nauseous and puked in the bishop's trash bin. Peter and his fellow disciples looked down at her from the walls, in disgust. "Oh, like _you're _so perfect," she muttered, wiping her mouth. After her triumphant debut that afternoon, her only tangible contribution that evening was now sitting in a garbage bin, which smelled vaguely of sour cream potato chips and bile.

* * *

"This must be it," Ciara said, as the dust cloud slipped though the keyhole of an ancient, rusted lock. They were in a room that contained row after row of compartments that resembled safety deposit boxes. There had been several additional encounters with UnderFae, but they had been 'human' enough that Bo worked her long distance chi sucking magic and drained them until they were unconscious. The burns on her arms were gone, and she was now ragingly horny.

Bo told herself that now was not the time for that sort of thing. It didn't keep her from picturing Lauren shirtless, on top of her, straddling her thighs. Not for the first time, Bo was glad she wasn't a guy – or else _everyone_ would know _exactly_ how she was feeling at that moment. She licked her lips and tried to concentrate on what Ciara was saying.

"Give me just a moment," she pulled out the fairy dagger and picked the lock. The rusted hinges stuck for a few brief seconds, but she gently worked them loose. The lock came open with a loud clang. She placed the padlock on the floor, and grabbed the door handle.

"Wait," Hale held out a hand. "What if this is some Indiana Jones shit, and when you open the door the wall drops and a huge ass bowling ball comes out?"

"Then I suggest you run very, very fast." She yanked the door open. Hale winced. Dyson winced. Lauren looked at the wall. Bo looked at Lauren's chest.

Nothing happened. Ciara reached into the dark vault, and grinned as she pulled out a pair of heavy iron shackles.

"Well that was anticlimactic," Lauren joked. She was feeling a lot better, now that she was back amongst the team. Fear was for the weak, and she wasn't weak.

"Bingo. One pair of lie detector handcuffs." Ciara held them up for everyone to see.

"Cha-ching, baby!" Hale clapped his hands. "Drinks on me tonight."

"Cristal?" Bo's eyes lit up.

"Don't get too excited, he's a cheap bastard," Dyson grinned. "I hope you like Natty Light."

"As long as it has alcohol in it, we're good." Bo followed Hale and Ciara back into the hallway. Lauren turned to join them, but Dyson grabbed her arm.

"I need to talk to you about something..."

When Bo turned back to wait for Lauren, her smile disappeared. The Doctor was arguing with the Shifter, poking him in the chest with a finger. Bo couldn't hear what was being said, but she was pretty sure whatever it was, she wouldn't like it.

* * *

One hour later, the team was back at the hotel, in Lauren's room. Two bottles of champagne sat on Lauren's desk, one of them now half empty. Kenzi, still feeling sick, had called it an early night. Bo leaned back in Lauren's desk chair, and raised her glass.

"To a new beginning, with my new team." She grinned.

Hale raised his glass, and said "Cheers!"

He was the only one. That fact didn't escape Bo's notice. "What the hell is wrong with you guys? We got the handcuffs. We're makin' money. We kick ass."

Lauren sighed, and her head dropped into her hands. "Bo…I'm so sorry about this."

"About what?" Bo furrowed her brow, but she didn't have to wait long to find out. Before she even realized what was happening, Dyson was behind her and she heard a soft, metallic click. She tried to get up, but her hands were restrained by the Cordoba Shackles, the chain looped through the chair to keep Bo in place.

"What is this?" She shouted. "What the _fuck_ is this?"

Dyson sat in front of her, on the bed. "You did well tonight. But if you're going to be a part of this team, we need to be _sure_ that we can trust you. So we're going to ask you a few questions. And now we know for _sure_ that you're going to tell you the truth." He leaned back with a smirk on his face.

"I can't watch." Lauren stood up, and walked out the door. Ciara and Hale at least looked apologetic. But the self-satisfied look on Dyson's face sent Bo's blood boiling.

"Oh you are dead." Bo strained against the iron shackles until they bit into her wrist. "You hear me? You're _dead_."

"Would you really kill me?"

Bo looked as though she was about to answer, but the words caught in her throat and her face contorted, as she struggled to say what she wanted to say. There were many, many choice words and insults running through her mind, but to her abject horror she heard a robotic, monotone version of her voice say simply, "No."

Dyson's smirk turned into an all out grin. "I think this is going to work very well."


	25. Cuffed

**Chapter 25 – Cuffed**

Lauren paced back and forth in the hall. She found herself back in front of her room door, fingers at the handle, ready to open it. "Damn," she whispered to herself as she pulled away again, leaned back against the wall, and repeatedly hit the back of her head. The paintings shook in their frames. "Damn, damn, damn."

So far, Lauren hadn't heard any yelling coming from inside the room. There was the occasional raised voice, but no yelling. She supposed that was a good sign. She couldn't make out what was being said, but she recognized Bo's voice.

Lauren felt horrible. She felt like Lord and Mistress of the Royal Fuckwads. She should have warned Bo that this was going to happen as soon as Dyson told her about it. Bo would have had time to prepare at best, and run away at worst. And now she was inside, undergoing who knows what kind of interrogation from two Fae police detectives and a fairy queen. Lauren shook her head and bit her lip. She wondered if she should have stayed in the room and tried to control the situation – or if hearing Bo's answers would have just made things worse.

She wanted to believe that Bo was on their side. She desperately wanted to believe that simple fact – but really, what proof did she have? Bo could be playing Lauren, using her instincts and Succubus charms to make Lauren feel more important than she actually was. This could all just be one massive long con. For better or worse, questioning Bo under the power of truth-inducing handcuffs would settle things once and for all. "Damn." She smacked her head again, feeling guilty for even entertaining the thought.

The abasylr had dug into the deepest recesses of her brain, and pulled out everything she had been trying to supress since the she and Bo's first night together. Now that it was out, it was all she could think about.

The door opened, and Lauren straightened her posture. Hale and Ciara slipped out. Hale gave Lauren a cheeky wink; Ciara nodded and added a quick "I'm sorry. We'll talk later." They headed off to their respective rooms. Dyson was last, and he emerged with a big smile on his face.

"Okay. I'm satisfied," he stood next to Lauren.

"You're a dick."

"I'm a satisfied dick. We can trust her. She was a good find Lauren, nicely done."

"You're a colossal, elephantitis infested dick. And you might trust her, but she's never going to trust us again. Not after this. I'll be lucky if she'll ever even _look_ at me again."

"I asked her if she was still interested in joining us, and she didn't say no. She said she wasn't sure. Of course, her words were more colorful than that. I think the handcuffs do more than make you tell the truth – I think they make you more articulate too…"

"Did she punch you when you uncuffed her? I hope she did. Hard. In your…"

"In my elephantitis infected dick, yes I get it. You're pissed off." He sighed. "I'm sorry Lauren, but if we hadn't cleared this all up, there would always be that nagging doubt. You wanted us to be a team, now we can be. I didn't ask her anything inappropriate, it was just a little bit about her past, about her partner, and the simple question, 'can we trust you?' Everything will be fine. She'll hate me, but she'll forgive you." He scratched the end of his nose, nervously, as he passed along one last bit of news. "I haven't uncuffed her yet."

"What?" Lauren slammed Dyson into the wall. "You left her in there tied to the damn chair?"

"She _asked_ me to." Dyson straightened the collar on his vest. "She said she wanted to talk to you first."

Lauren froze, her hand still on Dyson's shoulder. She frowned. "Why?"

"I didn't ask. It's none of my business." He grabbed her shoulders, spun her around, and lightly pushed her in the direction of the door. "That's for you two to work out."

* * *

Lauren took a deep breath, and slid into the room. She was afraid to meet Bo's eyes, but she couldn't help taking a brief glance in the Succubus' direction. It was long enough to notice that Bo, secured as she was with her hands behind her back, was displaying some truly impressive cleavage. Lauren felt guilty and turned on at the same time.

Bo easily picked up on the latter. "Funny. I wouldn't have pegged you for the bondage type."

Lauren noticed the coldness in her words. There was no trace of humor. "I'm not. I'm sorry for my inappropriate response."

"The body wants what the body wants. I say 'body', because we both know it isn't your head or your heart that wants me, is it?"

Lauren flinched. She pulled a chair away from the desk, placing it backwards in front of Bo. She crossed her arms on the seatback, and placed her chin on her hands. She had no idea what to say, and no idea where to even _start_.

Bo glared daggers back at Lauren, not bothering to hide or disguise her fury. An alarmingly large lump appeared in Lauren's oropharynx. She didn't need to be Fae to feel the rage coming off of the Succubus in waves. She tripped over her words but managed to stutter out, "Bo, I…"

"What?" Bo snapped. "You _what_, Lauren? Spit it out, because I have better things to do than listen to you sputter through some half-assed apology."

"Like what?" Lauren asked, without thinking.

"Like find Kenzi and book us two tickets on the next flight back to Toronto," Bo's answer was robotic.

Lauren had forgotten about the handcuffs and their effect. She could ask Bo anything, and be told the truth. "Bo, I really am sor-"

"Fuck you." Bo lunged forward as she tugged against her restraints. "Fuck you, and fuck your apologies." Bo's voice dropped and she looked away from Lauren, instead focusing on a cigarette burn on the carpet near Lauren's foot. "I trusted you, without questioning it. Trust doesn't come easy for me. And this is what I get for it."

"Bo…"

"Look. I know how we started, with the bickering and the competition and the flirting," Bo began. Her voice had no hint of the monotone – Lauren realized that this was Bo being honest, and the words were her own. "I know it hasn't been that long. And yeah – I'm a Succubus. And yeah, I want to have sex with you. Like…_all the time_ I want to have sex with you. Constantly. Any second of the day I'm not touching you feels like a wasted opportunity."

Lauren couldn't help but feel a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. Wisely, she suppressed it. "It's your sex drive. It's who you are."

"Except it isn't!" Bo snapped back. She rolled her eyes in frustration, unable to find the right words to express exactly what she was thinking. An idea occurred to her. "Lauren, just ask me how I feel about you," she said. "Be direct, and maybe these damn handcuffs can be good for something."

"No," Lauren's voice was firm, hiding the fear that was rising up from the pit of her stomach.

"What do you mean 'no'? Ask me the question! I want you to understand why I'm so pissed off at you right now!"

"I don't want to know." Lauren frowned. She should just end this now, before things got worse. Before things got too deep. Before anyone really got hurt.

Bo kicked her heel against the chair leg in frustration. "Okay." She took a deep breath to summon up some courage. "That's too bad, because you're going to hear it anyway. You were, _are_ not just another shag. The first time I saw you at the museum…the first time I _felt_ you, when I tapped into your aura? It was electric – _amazing_. I hadn't ever felt anything that strong. And I didn't understand it at the time – I just knew I had to find out more about you, and see you again."

Lauren shook her head, and sighed. Bo didn't stop.

"And we did the whole back and forth thing, but all that teasing was _killing_ me. Ask Kenzi – I was a mess. But when it finally happened, when you let me into your apartment, and your bed, and your _life_ it kinda felt like…like…" she struggled. "Oh fuck it, it _felt_ like _home_. I never thought – Lauren you don't understand, I never thought I would have that. I didn't even know that I _could_. I'm a Succubus, and we aren't built for romance. But you were everything. And it was unexpected, and overwhelming, and wonderful because I didn't realize what I didn't have until you were already in my life and I could see how empty it was before. And I felt so strongly – well, I guess it was okay that you didn't feel the same way because I could want it enough for the both of us."

"Bo…"

"I trusted you. I wanted us to be real. Don't try to defend yourself – if you felt the same way about me as I do about you, I wouldn't be handcuffed to this fucking chair."

"It wasn't my call! It was the only way Dyson and Ciara would agree to take you and Kenzi on – if they were allowed to question you under these circumstances. It was the only way I could get them to trust you…"

"And what about you?"

Lauren didn't answer right away. She was trying to formulate a coherent response, trying to find a way to make Bo realize that this wasn't at all what she wanted, when Bo interrupted her speeding train of thought.

"Just put me out of my misery, Lauren." Bo's eyes pleaded with Lauren as much as her words. "Rip the Band-Aid off, tell me we're done, tell me you don't want me. I don't want any of this slow motion torture."

"I can't!" She lost her cool.

"Why?"

"Because it would be a lie," she replied, weakly. She dropped her head into her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, as all traces of badass Lauren Lewis were stripped away. Bo slow-blinked, but said nothing. They sat in silence for what felt, to Lauren, like years. She finally worked up the courage to look up at Bo – the Succubus' eyes had softened considerably.

"That's what I wanted to hear." Bo went as far as to smile.

Lauren rubbed her temples. "If I let you go, do you promise not to attack me?"

Bo's face screwed up, as her mind fought the unbearable urge to tell the truth. "Define 'attack'."

Lauren's face finally broke out in a grin. The spell on the shackles was apparently lenient enough to allow arguments on semantics. "If I uncuff you, will you cause me physical pain?"

"No."

"If I uncuff you, will you cause me physical discomfort?"

"Probably." Lauren caught the flicker of blue in Bo's eyes, and it made her heart do a medically abnormal and heavy *thud*. She gulped.

"Probably, huh?"

"Yes."

"Is it the kind of physical discomfort that I might come to enjoy?"

"You have it backwards. You'll enjoy it. Then you'll come."

Bo's eyes smoldered. Lauren made a noise that sounded something like, "hurzyfrry". She tried to cover it with a cough, and patted her chest to try and legitimize the acting job. It wasn't fooling anybody. "What's your plan?" She managed to ask.

"Short term?"

"Yes," Lauren said.

Bo couldn't have lied even if she wanted to.

She didn't want to.

"You're going to come over here, and uncuff me. I'm going to stand up, stretch my arms, and act like everything is okay. I'm going to reach out and pretend like I'm giving you a forgiving hug. But really, I'm going to lift you up by those delectable thighs, and tackle you onto the bed. Before you even realize what's happened, you'll be naked, on your back, with your arms over your head. You see that bedpost?" Bo's eyes flicked toward Lauren's double bed.

"Yes," Lauren croaked.

"I'm going to wrap the chain around it, and snap your wrists into the cuffs. You won't even realize what I've done until you reach out to touch me, and discover that you can't. I'm going to show you how good it feels to give up any sense of control, and just be. If you uncuff me, I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me, and I'm going to show you how much you mean to me. But I'm not going to make it easy for you."

Lauren didn't realize that her hands had migrated to her shirt collar, and were now gently stroking her own neck. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to take my time with you. I'm going to explore every inch of your body. I'm going to find your secret weak spots – spots you didn't even know existed before until you're writhing under me, begging for me to touch you there again and again. I'm going to run my tongue all over your skin, kissing and caressing and sucking – everywhere but that one place you'll need it the most. I'm going to have you whimpering, and pleading, and you'll be straining your arms against those cuffs, but try as you might you won't be able to move my lips and hands where you want them to go. And when you roll your hips to find that contact, I'll pull away. It will be the most erotic, most horrible form of torture you have ever felt, or will ever feel. Serious, serious physical discomfort."

Bo winked at the last part, but Lauren didn't see it. Her eyes were closed, as she ran her fingertips over her scorching skin. Dyson was right; the cuffs were certainly making Bo more articulate. "And?"

"It'll only be then – after every rational thought has escaped your brain, and nothing is left but passion and _need_ – so much so that your body is shaking from the raw power of your own desire – only then will you feel my fingers slide inside you. Only then, will you feel my tongue circling your clit."

"Holy shit," Lauren whispered. A wave of desire hit Lauren so strongly that it caused Bo to moan at the reflected glow of it.

"And you might think, for as charged and as desperate as you are, that you'll come quick and hard."

Lauren gave an involuntary shudder.

"But you'll be wrong. Because I'll know how to play you like a piano. I'll know how to take you to the edge and keep you there, in a fog of pure sensation and complete, utter bliss. I'll take your body to heights you didn't even know were possible. And then, with one single kiss, in just the right spot, I'll send you hurtling over the edge into a screaming orgasm that you can measure in _minutes_, not seconds."

Lauren finally reached out and touched Bo's knee. Bo nearly lost her focus at the contact, but there was more she needed to say.

"And while you're lying there, beautiful, shaking and sweating and moaning your recovery, I'll uncuff you. And once you've come back down to Earth, I'll kiss your lips, and hold you tight against me, and stare into your eyes like you're the most precious being, human or Fae, I have ever known. And I will allow myself to admit – I could so easily see myself falling in love with you."

Lauren opened her eyes to stare at Bo.

"Now," Bo whispered. "Are you going to uncuff me?"

Lauren clenched her jaw, and though her eyes were still on the Succubus, there was a war going on between her scientific and emotional brains, her id and her ego. The smart move, the safe move, would be to walk out. To tell Dyson to come back and uncuff Bo, to never see her again and to gradually forget the way she laughed and tasted and smelled. To live every day just the same as she had before Bo walked into her life, to go back to being the single genius who played doctor and stole artifacts and kicked ass without questioning any of it. To be secure in her own self-worth. To be the center of her own universe again. _That_ would be the smart move.

She stood, surprised that her jelly legs were able to support her weight. She crossed the short distance, to Bo. She sat on the Succubus' lap. And with expert fingers, whose skill had been honed from years of delicate procedures and surgeries, she slid the key into the shackles. She unlocked them with a click that echoed through the hotel room.

"Good choice," Bo whispered.

* * *

Bo watched Lauren's chest heave violently as she panted through the last vestiges of an orgasm that was everything Bo had promised, and more. Bo was afraid, in fact, that she might have overdone it. She'd had more experience with Fae than humans, and she wasn't sure how much a mortal heart could take. Just looking at Lauren, as the Doctor slide elegantly into post-coital bliss, Bo's own immortal heart felt like it might explode. She kissed Lauren's flushed cheeks, before lightly kissing her lips.

"Lauren?"

"Mmm…yeah?" She forced her eyelids open, and turned her head toward the Succubus.

"You okay?"

The simple question made Lauren laugh out loud. "I'm alright. Just so you know – you've skyrocketed up to number two on my 'best' list."

"Hey!" Bo gently poked her in the side. "Keep talking like that, and I'm leaving those cuffs on." She was teasing, of course, as she reached onto the nightstand to collect the keys.

"Wait," Lauren's expression turned serious. Maybe it was just the post-sexual high, drowning out her better judgment, but she didn't care. She was giving up control, totally. Bo was right. It felt amazing. "You want to ask me something, don't you? Go ahead and do it. Do it now."

"I don't think…"

"Please."

"Okay." Bo sighed, and stroked Lauren's cheek. "What are your intentions with me? Long term?"

Lauren could feel the uncontrollable urge to tell the truth coursing through her veins. She didn't mind one bit. "I'm going to do everything I can to spend every waking moment with you. I'm going to find excuses to visit your disgusting apartment, just so I can see the look on your face when you open the door and see that it's me. I'm going to learn how to make pancakes shaped like hearts, so when you spend the night I can wake you up with a breakfast in bed that will make you want to die from the cuteness of it. Every night, I'm going to drift off thinking about you in the hopes that you'll show up in my dreams. And sooner, rather than later…even though you're Fae, and I'm human, and I have issues, and I'm terrified of it…" she gulped before saying the words, "I'm going to fall in love with you. And every time I see you smile, I'm going to fall deeper."

Bo sighted, contentedly. "You do know you're perfect, right?"

Lauren rolled her eyes at the ridiculous statement. "No one is perfect, and especially not me. Now…if you don't uncuff me soon, I suspect I won't be able to lift my arms any higher than chest-level for the next few days."

"Right." Bo sheepishly grabbed the keys, and let Lauren loose. The Doctor took a few seconds to stretch and shake out the muscles and joints before wrapping her arms around Bo. "Let's just stay here," Bo said.

"In bed? Sure."

"Well yeah, that too. But I meant in Barcelona. We could survive here. I can speak a little Spanish. 'Hola seniorita. Yo queiro Taco Bell. Voulez vous couchez avec moi.'"

Lauren chuckled. "That last one was French, you dope."

"At least I got the continent right," Bo replied, somewhat defensively.

"I guess I can give you a break, just this one time. But we can't stay. I have obligations."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Ash. The Light. Being a supergenius Doctor. Whatever."

"I _am_ sorry." Lauren brushed a stray hair from Bo's cheek. "Tell me how to make it up to you."

"I can think of one or two ways." Bo grinned mischievously. Lauren pulled her closer, ready and willing to express her gratitude to the woman she was kind of, sort of, almost definitely close to being in love with.

**End of Part Two**


	26. Forward Motion

**Chapter 26 – Forward Motion**

"You've lost the plot, Dr. Lewis."

Lauren fidgeted in her chair, opposite Val Santiago, the Ash. "What do you mean?"

Val frowned. "It's been two weeks since you returned from your vacation, and since your return your work output has dropped, precipitously." Val consulted her notes. "I see several ongoing projects and experiments that appear to have been abandoned. I still don't have a cause of death on Arthur Naia. Remember him? Burned to a crisp at the ball, _in my home_? And one week ago, I asked you to research the Three Fabled Stones – the Orsedd, the Llangareth and the Siancyn, and it does not appear that you've even begun aside from," Val checked her notes again, "one Google search performed on your laboratory computer, four days ago. Tell me, did you find anything about three enigmatic Fae amulets of immense power on a _human search engine_?"

"No," Lauren admitted, her face turning red with shame.

"As I said. You've lost the plot. You've forgotten what is important. Lauren, you know I like you, and you know I'm not going to toss you in the dungeon like Lachlan. I don't see you as a slave, I see you as an employee. Having said that, I need tangible results if I'm going to keep paying the rent on your enormous apartment, and importing that chervona ruta hair conditioner from Lithuania that you like so much."

Lauren ran a hand absentmindedly through her blonde locks. "It makes it silky smooth."

"Agreed. You have gorgeous hair, and it would be a real shame to rid the world of the greatness that is Dr. Lauren Lewis hair porn. But Fae cosmetics and beauty products are expensive. And I have a assemblage of elders to answer to for every cent I spend. It was hard enough to get them to agree to a monthly stipend for you – and that was before you started stealing artifacts from them."

Lauren froze. "You…you know about that?"

"Please. Hale can't hide anything from me. I'm the Ash. I tolerate your little group of moonlighting thieves because I find your antics amusing, and because I may have use for you myself someday in the near future. Especially since the formerly unaligned Succubus is playing for _your _team now." Val winked at the double entendre.

Lauren furrowed her brow. "You know about Bo, too." It was a statement, not a question.

"Lauren, I applaud your ambition – it isn't easy, roping a Succubus into a commitment of any kind. It's difficult simply getting them to spend more than one night in the same bed. Good for you. Fuck long, fuck hard, fuck often. Girl power. But don't let that overshadow your work _here_."

"Right. Sorry. The plot. I haven't forgotten. I know how important my work is, and I haven't abandoned any of it, but…"

"Your mind has been elsewhere. It seems to have taken up residence in the general vicinity of your crotch." Val teased.

Lauren cleared her throat. "I _am_ sorry. I'll get back to work right away."

"Good," Val nodded. She crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. "This is a dangerous time to be a Fae, Light _or_ Dark. By extension, it is a dangerous time to be a human working for the Fae. I need you with your head in the game, not motorboating between Bo's…"

"Okay." Lauren stood up, and tightened her lab coat around her waist. "Message received. Thank you for your time."

Val grinned at the retreating figure of her very embarrassed, very flustered human doctor. She'd had a certain fondness for Lauren, ever since the doctor had helped Val clear up a rather embarrassing breakout of adult body acne a few years ago. It had turned out her hormones were all out of whack, due to the family gardener planting a single lochrituvalis hercendium in the herb garden. Only Lauren would have noticed something so seemingly innocuous.

Val's smile slipped into a frown. If she lost her most valuable team member to some horny bitch in black leather, there would be serious hell to pay.

* * *

"Y'all know what you need up in here? A _Brownie_." Hale put his legs up on the coffee table at the Crack Shack. "You got the Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes over there in the corner, I saw three pairs of underwear hanging from doorknobs upstairs – not that I'm complaining – and I don't even wanna _know_ what that smell is coming from the basement…"

"They're patchouli candles," Bo replied, defensively. "I use them for meditation."

"_Tantric_ meditation." Kenzi grinned. "One of these days she's gonna figure out the secret Doc, and when she does…you better clear your schedule cause you are gonna get _rocked_."

Lauren frowned, and turned a page in her ancient tome. It was later in the evening, and she was seated on the couch next to Bo and Hale. Kenzi sat on the floor across from them. A huge pile of books were stacked on the coffee table, along with a plate of cookies that Lauren had brought as a thank you for helping her with her research. The cookies were almost gone, but Lauren seemed to be the only one actually looking through the books.

"First of all, I am sick of other people commenting on my sex life. Second of all, I asked you to help me look up Fire Fae, not eat my cookies…"

Kenzi, wisely, kept the joke inside.

"Third of all," she turned to Bo, "patchouli candles?"

"What's wrong with that?" Bo asked, absentmindedly running her hand across Lauren's arm.

"Patchouli is often associated with the hippie movement of the 60s and 70s. It was used to cover the scent of drugs on clothing, and some might argue to cover the scent of unwashed, unbathed, sweaty skin. Is there something…untoward that you are trying to hide in the basement?"

"Damn it, we've been made!" Kenzi jumped up. "She's discovered our underground hippie fight club! Pack up the hemp necklaces and weed pipes and let's beat it!" Kenzi sprinted toward the basement, and disappeared through the door while the others stared wordlessly.

Lauren looked at the stack of books. "She did that to get out of helping, didn't she?"

"Almost definitely." Bo grinned and kissed Lauren on the cheek. "Don't take it personally."

Hale leaned back and stretched. "I don't even know why we're here, to be honest. Doc, you know more about Fae than any Fae I've ever met, how the hell are _we_ supposed to help _you_?"

"I've been over my notes a hundred times now, I thought maybe a fresh pair of eyes might notice something I've missed." Lauren rubbed her forehead in frustration. "There are no documented Fae that cause the type of burn scar I observed on Arthur Naia's body. But _something_ attacked him, and stole the stone…something which managed to slip by the Boraro's security barrier. Hale, you and Dyson interviewed all the guests, and no one saw anyone suspicious on the premises. Whatever it is, it's powerful, dangerous, and very good at disguising itself."

"And likes making crispy bacon out of balding arseholes." Ciara walked into the room, and set her Prada purse down on the table. She collapsed into the lounge chair, and covered her eyes.

"Welcome home, honey. How was work?" Hale teased.

"Terrible. I spent all day dealing with human nonsense. No offense," she said to Lauren. "The board of directors act like a pack of greedy, rabid dogs. Or garuda, more like."

"What's a garuda?" Bo asked.

"_What_?" Hale turned to the Succubus. "You mean your mom never told you stories about the garuda to get you to eat your vegetables? I used to have _nightmares_ about those things."

"I was raised by humans, remember? I was scared of the Boogie Man, not the garuda."

Lauren closed the book she was leafing through, and sat it on top of the stack. It was obvious that this wasn't working. She took a deep breath. "The garuda are a legendary race of eagle-like creatures that appear in Hindu and Buddhist tradition. Legend tells that they feed on the discord between the Fae, specifically the Light and the Dark. As such, they have been blamed for much of the historic strife between the two sides. They're like the Boogie Men of the Fae world."

"And they're real?"

"Used to be," Hale replied. "They all died out centuries ago."

"It's too bad," Lauren muttered, lost in her own world. "Garuda expectorate fire. If a garuda were still alive, it's possible that he or she could have killed Naia."

"If the garuda were still alive, we'd have a shitload of problems on our hands. And they'd be a lot more serious than some dude getting charbroiled," Hale said.

"Yes, but it would provide me with the necessary information to keep your sister from slashing my budget," Lauren joked. "Now, help me find a Fire Fae." She handed everyone a heavy, leather bound book. The room was quiet, but for the flip of turning pages and the echo of Kenzi in the basement, singing 'Purple Haze' at the top of her lungs.

* * *

Fitzpatrick McCorrigan, better known to countless Dal Riata patrons as the bartender "Trick", was spending his evening in similar fashion to the Doc Squad – with two notable differences. The first – he was snacking on Doritos, not cookies. The second – he was poring over books about the Three Stones, not Fire Fae. He scratched his beard, frustration hitting him so hard that his fingernails dug into the skin.

"Ouch," he muttered, pulling his hand away. He noticed a small drop of blood on his index finger, and sighed. Oh how easy it would be, to get out his tools and write himself a solution to the problem of the Orsedd, Llangareth and Siancyn stones. Of course if he did so, there was always the likelihood of something terrible happening. The Earth reversing polarity. A meteor striking Australia. The cancellation of _The Big Bang Theory_. Universal erectile dysfunction. All possible consequences of a blood sage using his powers.

Trick shuddered. No – using his powers was not an option. He pulled another ancient book from the bottom shelf, resigned to just one more in a long line of nights filled by mind numbing, old fashioned research. He plunked the heavy tome down onto his work desk. When he opened it, book dust flew up into his face, making him cough and causing his eyes to water. His vision was so poor in that moment that he nearly missed the small annotation, handwritten in the corner of a page depicting the location of prehistoric temples of the Congo jungles.

"Of course…" he whispered, shocked that the answer to the mystery of the Siancyn location was suddenly right there, right in front of his face. "Of course that's where it would be! Why didn't I think of that before?" He picked up his antique, rotary phone, and digit by agonizing digit he dialed the Ash's private office line.

"Hello?"

"Ash. It's Trick. I've found it."

* * *

Serena was having a terrible day. She had been unceremoniously fired as the Ash's head of security, in favor of some punk ass Wood Elf who was a longtime friend of the Santiago family. She'd known this was coming, but that didn't make it sting any less.

It's why, when she had been approached by her boss about helping him retrieve the stones, she agreed to take the job. A woman had to think about her own future, after all. And her boss was about to become a very powerful man. Any Fae who held the key to turning other Fae human was one to be feared and, therefore, honored – w th devotion, reverence, and gifts of cash. Hopefully, some of the cash would trickle down to her.

Serena often daydreamed about herself, on the beach, with a pina colada in each hand and a hot piece of man candy massaging her feet. Today, her daydreams were a bit more violent. As soon as they found the Siancyn, the first Fae she wanted to go after would be Val Santiago. She could just picture Val's powers being sucked out of her, leaving her an empty, rail-thin husk of skin stretched tight on the bone. Serena smiled to herself.

It was worth it, to have to deal with Vex and the Pain Eater, if it meant she could watch the Ash suffer.

"Damn it, man!" Vex shouted, stomping into the living room with toothbrush in hand. "How many times do I have to tell you, squeeze the toothpaste from the _bottom_ of the tube. The bottom, you unspeakably ugly wanker!"

"Kissss my assss, Vexxx." The Pain Eater lay in the leather chair, reclined all the way back, callused feet sticking up for the whole world to see. "And ssstop leaving your filthy magazinesss all over the houssse, you perverted freak monkey."

"You're calling me a freak? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently?"

"Pot, meet kettle. I've ssseen better looking facesss on a sssqueezed tea bag…"

"Oh really? Well this face will be the last thing you ever see!" Vex raised his hand and flicked his wrist, causing the pain eater to poke himself in both eyes.

"Damn you! Damn you!" He screeched, at just the right pitch that the glass on the plasma TV screen exploded.

"Oh, _now _look what you've done!" Vex shouted. "I'm stuck in this house with the two of you, and now I can't even watch Days of our Lives."

"A tragedy of epic proportions." Serena rolled her eyes.

"Oh, stop acting all superior. We're in the same boat now, love. The same sinking ship. Dumped by our respective political leaders, cast out to fend for ourselves in this crazy, mixed up world, with only our wits and our balls to keep us afloat…"

"If that was the case, you would have drowned weeks ago."

"Oh sssssnap!" The pain eater laughed. At least, Serena thought it was a laugh. It was hard to tell – he sounded like a cawing crow.

"I was not aware that I had hired the Three Stooges for this assignment." A booming voice rang out through the room, and the three Fae jumped to their feet, saluting the unseen spectre. None of them had ever actually seen their employer, not even when they'd snuck him into the Zamora ball. To them, he was nothing but a disembodied voice who could roast them alive.

"Apologies your greatness, we were just having a bit of a laugh." Vex bowed deeply. "To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Pack your bags. My spies tell me that the bartender has learned the location of the Siancyn Stone. Our time has finally arrived. Don't fuck it up."


	27. Level Eleven

**Chapter 27 – Level Eleven**

A cheerful, five second long, looping tonal ditty rang through Bo's bedroom for the third time in the past five minutes. Bo sighed. Below her – directly below her, in fact – Lauren attempted to sit up.

"Bo," she panted heavily, "I have to answer that. It might be the Ash."

"You're not going anywhere." Bo shifted her hips to juuust the right angle, causing friction in juuust the right spot to send the Doctor's eyes rolling back in her head. Bo shook the aerosol can in her hand and rolled her hips again, eliciting a long moan from her girlfriend.

"Girlfriend," Bo thought, but didn't say aloud. A smile crept over her face – she liked the sound of that word, even though she wasn't sure if it was entirely accurate. She stared, captivated, at the look of pure pleasure on Lauren's face – nope, 'girlfriends' did not do justice to their situation at all.

The ringing stopped.

Bo bent over, her voice husky as her lips hovered millimeters from Lauren's ear. "I had to sit and watch you flip pages in those books for almost five hours, and the entire time all I could think about is getting you naked and licking you all over. Are you really gonna deny me that? After I made a special trip to the supermarket and everything?" Bo shook the can, again.

Lauren's phone started ringing. Again.

Lauren opened her eyes, put a hand on both of Bo's cheeks, and forced the Succubus to look at her. "Bo. I need to answer my phone."

"But I'm _hungry_…" Bo's seductive timbre devolved into whining.

"Are you aware that the substance you hold in your hand contains the equivalent saturated fat content of six McDonald's double cheeseburgers? And furthermore, that can utilizes nitrous oxide, which can be hazardous when inhaled in mass qua…"

"UGH!" Bo rolled off Lauren and splayed out on the blankets next to her. "Fine. Fine, science geek, you win. Answer your damn phone." Bo slammed the can of whipped cream onto the night stand, and crossed her arms over her chest. Lauren tugged the blanket from under Bo and wrapped it around her body, catching the phone just before it went to voicemail.

"Hello? _Trick_? It's late…is everything okay?" She turned away from Bo and put a finger over her free ear, to block out the noise of the Succubus' antagonistically loud sighs. "Just give me the short version. Uh huh. Uh huh. _What_?"

Bo tapped out a beat on her abdomen, and stared up at the ceiling, occasionally rolling her eyes at the 'really's and 'uh huh's coming out of Lauren's mouth. It was a very one sided conversation, and Bo wasn't getting any hints as to what they were talking about. But it didn't matter – she soon found another distraction. The blanket Lauren had hastily wrapped around herself was starting to slip down her back. Lauren was too engrossed in her discussion to notice that she was giving Bo a slow striptease.

But Bo noticed.

Boy, did Bo ever notice.

Before she could stop herself, she was up and out of the bed, right behind Lauren, sliding the blanket the rest of the way off and rubbing her hands across Lauren's back, kneading the muscles lightly, working her way down, down, down to the Doctor's…

"_Hey now_!" Lauren finally noticed, giving a jump and swatting Bo away with her hand. "No, sorry Trick, I wasn't talking to you…"

Bo, undeterred, bent over and placed her palms on Lauren's toned calves, grinning as she made her way up, up, up, and back to the…

"_Fuckbutton_!" Lauren sputtered, reflexively. Horrified, she put her hand over her mouth as she gave Bo an annoyed kick, sending the Succubus falling to the floor on her butt, giggling like crazy. "Trick I am _so_ sorry…yes…fill me in on the rest later. We'll be there in fifteen minutes. Bye." Lauren thumb-stomped the 'end call' button and whirled on the Succubus, fire in her eyes, steam practically coming out of her ears.

"Now _that's_ a side of you I haven't seen before. I like it. It's hot," Bo teased.

"You just made me look like an idiot in front of the most influential Fae in recorded history."

Bo laughed out loud. "Oh come on, Lauren. Don't be dramatic. I made you say 'fuckbutton' in front of a bartender. And by the way…_fuckbutton_?"

"He's not just a bartender, he's the Blood King."

"What's a Blood King? Is that like…the sworn enemy of Captain Crip? Is this a red vs. blue thing? An original gangsta, Westside Eastside, 'bust a cap in yo ass' thing?"

Lauren facepalmed. "I'll explain it on the way. Get your clothes on and wake Kenzi up, we're meeting the rest of the team at the Dal." Lauren grabbed her neatly folded clothes from the chair.

Bo's expression dropped. "But I didn't…you know…finish you!"

"No, you didn't." Lauren buttoned her top and rolled her sleeves up.

"But that's totally unacceptable!"

"It happens sometimes, Bo."

"Not to me, it doesn't! I have a one hundred percent completion rate! I have a reputation to uphold! If anyone finds out they'll send me back to Remedial Succubussing 101."

Lauren stepped into her jeans and pulled them up. "I promise to keep your secret safe from the Succubus Sex Task Force. Wait – what are you doing?"

Bo strode toward Lauren like a hunter stalking her prey. She reached out and grabbed the uncovered skin of Lauren's forearm. "I'm preserving my perfect record."

Lauren stifled a laugh. "Are you going to make sweet, sweet love to my arm?"

Bo rubbed the crook of Lauren's elbow. "Do you doubt my talents?"

"Yes, I do." Lauren raised an eyebrow. "The arm is not the first body part that comes to mind when discussing female erogenous zones."

"You know I've been holding back on you, right?" Bo grinned, and sent a pulse of sexual energy into Lauren, causing her to gulp and rapid fire blink. "That was only a two." She pulsed again, stronger this time. Lauren groaned and swayed unsteadily on her legs. "That was a four. It's as far as I've ever gone with you. But do you want to know something, Doctor?"

"Sure."

Bo winked. "I have an amp that goes to eleven."

"What does that m…HOLYFUCKOFALLTHINGSGREATANDG OODONTHISPLANET." Lauren spewed out before collapsing into a puddle on the floor, bucking and writhing and screaming out obscenities, lost in a sensation of pleasure so intense it transcended space and time and reason – Lauren had no idea how long it lasted, no memory of when it finished. When she finally opened her eyes, all her brain could piece together was the image of a naked Succubus, hovering over her, looking smug.

* * *

Much later on, when asked by Ciara to describe the feeling of getting whammied with a level 11 Succubus sex shot, Lauren rather inarticulately put it thus:

"It was like a neutron bomb of awesome exploded in my vagina."

To which Ciara took a deep drink of wine and replied, "Some girls have all the luck." She glanced across the bar at Dyson, and sighed. "You get neutron bombs. I get pin pricks."


	28. I Am Spartacus

**Chapter 28 – I Am Spartacus**

"Y'aight, Doc? Your face looks kinda red," Hale said as Lauren, Bo, and Kenzi walked into the darkened Dal Riata. Peanut shells crunched under their feet as they approached the bar and the rest of their team. It was almost 4am; the Dal had closed hours ago.

"I'm fine." Lauren struggled to keep her John Wayne, cowboy-fresh-off-a-bucking-bull gait as subtle as possible. She was still a bit sensitive in the nether regions, and even the slightest bit of friction in the wrong spot might send her spiraling into a very potent, very public orgasm. Bo followed behind, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. She gallantly pulled out a chair for Lauren – the Doctor sat down carefully, as though the chair were covered with hundreds of carpentry nails.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady.

Trick appeared, with a pot of steaming coffee. He placed a mug in front of each of the women, and poured. "Thank you for coming in."

Kenzi took a sip of her drink, and made a face. "Not even a _little_ Irish in this coffee, old man? I thought this was a bar, not a Starbucks."

"And I thought sidekicks knew when to keep their mouths shut," Dyson countered.

"Hey! You leave my bestie alone, or you'll know what it feels like to be neutered, dog boy." Bo pointed a finger at the Shifter. She hadn't forgiven him for the interrogation, and could still barely stand to look at him.

Lauren put a hand on Bo's shoulder, rubbing it gently. "Relax, okay? Dyson's an idiot; he didn't mean anything by it."

"Excuse me?" Dyson lifted an eyebrow.

"Don't pretend you didn't hear. I called you an idiot. Are you going to contradict me?" Lauren set out the playful challenge.

"Nope." Dyson grinned at Lauren.

She took a long drink of coffee, and smacked her lips. "So, Trick. You say you found the Siancyn Stone, and you want to hire us to bring it back."

"Yes, I think I know where it is. But no, I didn't hire you." He checked his watch, just as the front door creaked open. "Ah, perfect timing. Here come your employers."

Each member of the Doc Squad spun on their barstools. Six pairs of eyes grew wide as The Ash and The Morrigan sashayed in, side by side. Dyson frowned. "Now there's something you don't see every day."

"Val!" Hale stood up out of his chair. "I'm not…I'm not with them…" he sputtered.

"You traitorous little shit," Kenzi smacked him on the back of his head.

"Relax, baby brother." Val winked. "I've known for a long time that you're besmirching the Santiago name as a common thief. And you, Doctor of mine," Val turned to Lauren, "have a lousy poker face."

Lauren's face turned a few shades redder. "Why didn't you stop us?"

"Because she's The Ash, and she's too tolerant of disobedience." The Morrigan stepped forward, and ran a hand along Lauren's cheek. "If you belonged to me, I would have disciplined you ages ago."

"Hey!" Bo grabbed The Morrigan's arm, yanking it away from Lauren. "Step off, bitch!"

"Well hello there, Succubus." The Morrigan's eyes gleamed. "It's been awhile since you were last in my office. Darling I've always liked you, but if you don't remove your hand immediately I'm going to melt a hole in your girlfriend's pretty forehead. And no one wants that, do they?"

"Please!" Trick's voice boomed from behind the bar. "This is a place of sanctuary. No one is hurting anyone. Right now, we all must be on the same side."

"He's right," Val said. "We're really up against it here, people."

"Up against what?" Ciara asked, frustrated. "All I know is that we keep getting hired to find stones and we keep losing stones. Yes, they're pretty and yes, they may be powerful, but this isn't the end of the world, is it?" She watched as The Ash and The Morrigan exchanged meaningful glances with Trick. "Is it?" Ciara frowned. "What aren't you telling us?"

Trick sighed. "There is much more to this set of stones than I initially realized. Originally, I hired you to find the Llangareth Stone out of pure selfish interest. It grants the bearer physical stamina above and beyond the norm, even for Fae."

Kenzi almost did a spit take with her coffee. "Oh my god, it really _was_ Fae Viagra? I was just joking when I said that…"

"No, it's not meant specifically for sex – although it can be used in that manner. It's more about strength and endurance. I'm getting older, you see. I just passed my second millennium. I have a bad back, which makes it difficult to do simple chores around the bar."

"Oh, honey." The Morrigan shook her head. "You were going to use an object of ancient magic so you could lift and move a keg of beer?"

"Among other things, yes."

"I'm so glad the Succubus brought it to me first – what a waste that would have been."

"A lot of good it did _you_." Trick snapped back. "It was stolen from under your nose within a week." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We should be working together. Back to my story – the Llangareth grants physical strength. The Orsedd, which was owned by Arthur Naia, has amazing restorative properties of healing – which also grants the wearer general health and longevity. The Siancyn Stone is the most powerful of all. It contains the ability to grant untold wisdom."

"But Trick," Lauren countered, "there are hundreds of objects spread throughout the Fae world with similar properties. I don't understand what makes these three so unique."

"They're unique because they are bound together in such a way that, if one person owned all three at once, they would be able to do more than pull strength, longevity, and wisdom from the stones. They could use the stones in concert to pull these properties from other Fae."

"Meaning?" Bo asked.

"Meaning they could render a Fae completely powerless. Render them mortal. Render them no better than a common human. And if the bearer should happen to turn his or her attention toward a human – well, that human would be killed instantly. There is no defense for something as powerful as this. And we have very good reason to believe that right now, at this very moment, there is a creature or a being who possesses two of the three and is actively searching for the last."

"Whoever killed Arthur Naia and broke into The Morrigan's compound," Dyson thought aloud, "is one stone shy of _owning_ the Fae. Is that what you're telling us?"

"Yes," Trick answered, simply.

"It would be difficult to stand up to a being that powerful," Lauren muttered. "And most Fae care about saving their own skins more than they care about loyalty."

"Hey!" Bo smacked her arm.

"No, she's right," Dyson said. "When your life is measured in centuries, you don't give it up easily. You get greedy for it. Causes don't matter, nationalities don't matter and, when it really comes down to it, Dark and Light don't matter. We're a selfish bunch."

Kenzi snorted. "So humans are superior to Fae after all."

"No," Hale replied. "Humans are just too stupid to realize what's most important. Protecting yo' neck."

"What about the Fae Wars? Light and Dark?" Bo asked. "Aoife told me…"

"Who?" Trick's eyes narrowed at the name.

"Aoife. Another Succubus. I met her in New York. Anyway, she told me all about the fighting between the Light and Dark."

"Our race was younger, back then." The Morrigan replied. "Dumber. We've evolved, as most species tend to do. Evolve or die. Sure, I don't particularly care for the Light, but I'm not about to risk my beautiful face on some power grab or disagreement about territory. It's just not worth it. What I _do_ care about is some asshole breaking up our structured, organized system of government and ripping my powers away from me. We need the Siancyn."

Lauren turned to Trick. "So. Where is it?"

Trick sighed deeply, and looked down at his hands to avoid meeting Lauren's eyes. "It's in the Congo."

Lauren recoiled, as though she'd been slapped in the face. "Where, in the Congo?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"I think you know the answer to that."

Lauren's eyes took on a faraway appearance, as she retreated into her own memories. "Six point zero seven nine three latitude. Twelve point four six longitude. The Okahange Ruins, in the Congo Rainforest."

"The exact place it was last used. Am I right?" Trick gently prodded the Doctor to continue. "You've seen it before. A blue sapphire, shaped like…"

"An owl." All eyes were on Lauren, as she struggled internally with this information. "I didn't think…Trick I had no way of knowing." She rubbed her forehead, and closed her eyes. "But I guess it makes sense. I mean, how else would the old Ash have been able to…" she frowned, cleared her throat, and pulled herself together. "Right. I know where the Siancyn is. I can take us there."

Kenzi looked back and forth between Trick and Lauren. "Can anyone tell me what just happened?"

"Not now," Val replied. "I have a private jet waiting at the Toronto airport that will take off in six hours. It'll take you as far as the N'djili Airport in Kinshasa, but the rest is up to you. I want you all on that plane and ready to go by ten a.m. We're already stocked up with clothes and supplies, but Lauren I need you to make sure you and the goth get malaria boosters…"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on there, madam president." Kenzi held up a hand. "These other suckers might be beholden to you, or whatever, but BoBo and I don't work for free. What's in this for us?"

"I won't kill you," The Morrigan replied. Kenzi leapt out of the stool as she felt a white hot spot erupt in her chest, but the sensation was gone almost as soon as it had begun.

Kenzi rubbed her sternum and scowled. "Lady, you make a compelling argument."

"Evony! We talked about this!" Val snapped. Her eyes softened as she turned to Bo. "In return for your cooperation, we'll pay off your remaining debt to one George Lachlan in Vancouver."

Bo's jaw dropped. "But that's millions of dollars…"

"And this is a life and death situation. That's my offer, take it or leave it."

Bo looked to Kenzi. Her best friend was practically bouncing out of her chair with excitement, assaulting the Succubus with pale blue eyes that screamed "take it, take it now, TAKE IT DAMN IT!" Bo looked to Lauren for advice, but the Doctor, her girlfriend, was staring out into space, still off in her own world, looking disgusted with herself. It made Bo's heart ache to watch Lauren suffer – even though she wasn't sure what was wrong.

But it _did_ give her an idea. Bo turned back to the Ash, the Succubus' eyes cold as steel.

"No deal."

"WHAT?!" Kenzi shouted, as the Ash took a shocked step backward. That was not the answer she was expecting at all.

Bo stood from her stool, and walked to where the leaders of the Light and Dark stood. The Morrigan had her arms crossed, combatively postured in six inch heels, ready to melt the obstinate Succubus into a puddle of goo. The Ash's jaw was somewhere around waist-level. "Have you lost your mind?" Val asked.

"No. But I have my own terms. I want our debt to Lachlan taken care of." She paused, for dramatic effect. "And I _demand _three weeks of vacation for your Doctor, Lauren Lewis. Plus five sick days. Paid."

Lauren slowly turned to Bo, her brow furrowed. She mouthed, "Why?", but Bo just winked.

"Those are my terms, Ash. Take it or leave it."

Val laughed. "How I manage my people isn't _any_ of your business…"

Ciara stood out of her stool, and stared Val down. "You heard the lady. Vacation and sick days, or no deal. I'm not going anywhere either, until you agree."

"Emergencies happen, I can't help that…"

Dyson stood. "That's what Lauren's lab full of highly trained assistants is for. You can survive without her for a few weeks. These are my teammates and if they're staying I'm staying."

"Come on Dyson, understand my position here…"

Hale jumped out of his stool. "Save it, Val. You know the Doc is worth more to you than anyone else who works for you. Time to show a little gratitude, don't you think? Show a little respect? It's either that, or find someone else to schlep to the Congo, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere."

"Hale…"

"I AM SPARTACUS!" Kenzi pumped her fist to the sky, caught up in the moment. The room was silent, all eyes on her. "Wait…I guess that doesn't apply here, does it?"

Bo grinned at The Ash. "You heard them. What's it gonna be?"

Val sighed. "Fine. Fine! Days off for Lauren, and the debt paid." She stuck out her hand, and Bo gleefully shook it. "We can't waste any more time, I want your asses on that plane by ten AM, or I'll let The Morrigan suck you dry, is that clear?"

"Crystal." Bo pulled a stunned Lauren from her stool, and held her hand as they left the Dal. Bo crawled in through the passenger side of her faded yellow junker of a car, Lauren following and closing the door behind her. Before Bo could get the keys into the ignition, Lauren wrapped her up in the bear hug to end all bear hugs and planted a deep, wet kiss on her eager lips.

"Thank you." Lauren whispered against Bo's lips, before resting her head on Bo's shoulder. "That's the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time."

Bo scoffed. "Your friends must be a bunch of assholes, then."

Lauren's body shook, as she laughed. "I'll make sure to tell Dyson you said that."

"Good," Bo turned the key, and the beast came to life with a roar. "But I guess we can give him points for standing up for you this time, at least." Bo left the car to idle, waiting for Kenzi to catch up. "Are you going to tell me what happened in the Congo? You seemed really upset."

"I will, later. I promise. Right now we need to stop by my apartment and the lab, so I can pick up some gear and poke Kenzi with long, sharp needles." Lauren chuckled, as she caught sight of Kenzi skipping toward the car. "She isn't going to scream and cry like a child, is she?"

"Eh, give her a lollipop beforehand and she'll be fine. She's a sucker for suckers."

"Did you _see_ that?" Kenzi entered the car like a whirlwind. "I was all like, 'I AM SPARTACUS and Spartacus gotsta get _paid_!', and The Morrigan was all like, 'who is this plucky human, I must destroy her with fire because I am afraid of her pluckiness', and I was like, 'AW YEAH, BITCH, you better recognize!'"

Bo rolled her eyes and revved the engine, to drown out Kenzi's rapid rewriting of recent history. She slid the car into first and smiled to herself, as Lauren's hand came to rest on her own.


	29. Storytelling

**Chapter 29 – Storytelling**

"Now _this_ is the way to travel – Bill Gates style. Is that a minibar? If that's a minibar, I'm moving into this airplane. Sorry Bo, it was fun but I can't be your roomie anymore." Kenzi did a running leap onto a huge, thickly cushioned couch, and rolled around happily.

"Good. Then I won't have to worry about you walking in on me when I have company," Bo slapped her friend on the butt as she walked past.

"Does that happen often?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, constantly. Kenzi doesn't understand the concept of closed doors, and I have people over all the time for dirty, hot, kinky sex – the kind that would make you insanely jealous. Do you feel insanely jealous?" Bo teased.

"No. But I feel like I should get a Hepatitis shot."

"Ha _ha_." Bo gave her a poke in the ribs, then ran a finger along the thick bandage in the crook of Lauren's elbow. "You've had enough shots for the day. You and Kenzi both. I didn't realize there were so many ways to die in the jungle that don't involve getting bitten or eaten or squeezed to death by a python."

"The microscopic killers are the most dangerous. Malaria is not a pleasant way to go," Lauren said. She followed Bo to the very back of the airplane. The Ash's personal jet was a sight to behold. It was much larger than most private jets - almost the size of a 747. The seats were more like La-Z-Boy couch/recliners than the stiff coach seats the Doctor was used to. There were ten rows of these couches spread out through the entire length of the fuselage, each with curtains that could be pulled closed to create mini-compartments. Each compartment had its own personal television/stereo/gaming system, along with a fridge stocked full of beer, pop, and sandwiches.

Bo sighed happily as she collapsed into a couch and pulled Lauren down onto her lap. One hand immediately went to close the curtain, affording them total privacy. The other hand slipped under Lauren's shirt.

Lauren chuckled. "Well _that_ didn't take long."

"Why wait?" Bo grinned, licking a slow line up Lauren's neck, pausing on her pulse point so she could feel the Doctor's heart beating faster and faster.

"Why? Because we're in a plane filled with my close friends, who are all very much awake and alert." Lauren groaned contentedly as Bo's hands massaged her neck. "And if Kenzi's no good with closed doors, I doubt closed curtains are going to stop her."

"Kenzi is running on two hours of sleep. She'll be conked out in five minutes. And," she grinned wickedly, "You forget, I can read sexual energy. Dyson and Ciara won't notice us; they're all over each other already. Hot and heavy."

"_That_ is a visual I didn't need." Lauren rolled her eyes. "You've put me off, completely."

The engine roared to life underneath them. Lauren tried to extricate herself from Bo's firm grip, but the Succubus wasn't quite ready to let go. Lauren frowned. "Bo Dennis. Federal air safety regulations require that we be buckled in during takeoff, landing, and any instance of heavy turbulence whilst airborne. You need to let me go now."

"Unf." Bo made a guttural noise. "I love it when you pull the stern, sexy librarian routine."

"Down. Now."

"Fine." Bo groaned and lifted her arms, so Lauren could scootch back onto the couch. They both found the seatbelts hidden in the cushions, and buckled up. Lauren sighed. As soon as she'd been released from the comfort of Bo's arms, she remembered where they were going. The Congo. The site of Lauren's worst hour.

Bo noted the abrupt change in Lauren's expression, and how the Doctor was wringing her hands together with white knuckles. Bo placed a hand over Lauren's fist, gently rubbing with her thumb in what she hoped was a reassuring way. The relationship stuff was still so new to her that every little romantic gesture or simple touch felt like a leap into the unknown. Her curiosity about Lauren's time in the Congo was way beyond piqued, but she didn't want to push Lauren to talk before the Doctor was ready. They sat in silence until the plane was up in the air, holding steady at 35,000 feet.

"So. The Congo." Lauren finally cleared her throat to begin her story. But as soon as she met Bo's eyes her courage faltered. She sighed deeply, eyes dropping to the floor.

"Hey, look at me." Bo pushed a strand of Lauren's hair behind her ear, then ran her fingertips along Lauren's cheek and under her chin, gently lifting up to make Lauren look her in the eye. "You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"I don't know about that, I really don't."

"Come on, what could possibly be so bad that you're beating yourself up like this? Lauren, you're perfect…"

Lauren winced at the word. "No I'm not. Not even close. Bo, this is…if I tell you this story, you'll have seen the worst part of me. This is the stuff I am the least proud of. And once I tell you, there's no taking it back." She kissed the back of Bo's hand. "I just want to enjoy these last few seconds, because who knows if you'll even want me anymore, after all is said and done."

"Lauren, you could tell me that you were a serial-killing, nose-picking donkey rapist, and I would still want you."

Lauren managed a sad grin. Bo traced the outline of her lips with a finger, which Lauren kissed gently. This trusting, almost innocent touch from the Succubus, from _Bo_, finally gave Lauren the guts to speak.

"It was 2005. Not long after medical school. I'd decided to specialize in pathology and microbiology, specifically as it pertains to curing some of the most devastating diseases of the human condition. After completing a rigorous study of the practices of the medicine men of the Aka tribe while earning my PhD, I was convinced that one of their most frequently used medicinal plants, the kismembari flower, had great potential as a possible cure, or at least treatment, for Alzheimer's. After an intense competition, I won a research grant to go to the Congo."

"I had written a paper on my findings about the Aka, and by the time I left for the Congo it had already been published in several leading medical journals. The secret was out. So, when I arrived just outside of a small Aka village in the deeper reaches of the Congo rainforest, mine was not the only team present. I was told that there was a group of Chinese researchers about 30 miles to the east. And a team being led by a Dr. Richard McGill of Princeton University, five miles to the south."

"So I settled in, and began my research. Conditions were primitive to say the least, but we were very excited by our findings. As I spent time with the Aka, I began to pick up on bits and pieces of the language and culture. I kept hearing references to something called the Khassu. The Feeders. However, any time I tried to ask the people about the Khassu they refused to talk, so I put it to the back of my mind."

"One afternoon a few weeks in, we received an unexpected visit from Dr. McGill. He just showed up in camp with a picnic basket and thermos, and invited me to lunch. At least, that was his excuse for coming; I was fairly certain he was there to spy on us. But I took him up on his offer, out of sheer curiosity. We spoke at length about our backgrounds. He was a professor, and former chief of surgery at a Boston hospital. Much older than me, much more experienced. He too, was in search of a cure for Alzheimer's."

"I didn't like him from the start. He was brash, arrogant, and misogynistic. His attitude towards me and my team was completely condescending. His attitude towards the Chinese team was blatantly racist." Lauren paused to shake her head, and calm herself down. Bo stroked her arm softly, encouraging her to continue.

"I found out that his trip was being entirely funded by a large American pharmaceutical company. Any discoveries he made would belong to that company, and that company alone. He would take a percentage of profits from sales, making himself millions and the company billions. Meanwhile, those who most needed the medication would be susceptible to price gouges, and those who couldn't pay would be shit out of luck, so to speak, and left to suffer. I wanted to find a cure to Alzheimer's and make it available to the whole world. He wanted to find a cure to Alzheimer's and make enough money to buy his own private island. He offered me a spot on his team. I declined."

"After that conversation, I threw myself into my work like never before. But things began to take a turn for the worse. Our team's botanist suddenly became quite ill, and needed to return to North America for treatment. One of our local security crew disappeared entirely from his bed one night, leaving all of his things behind, never to be seen again. I continued to hear whispers about the Khassu. And my progress on the kismembari flower came to a screeching halt. Without delving too deeply into the science of it…the Aka have a high predominance of the L1 genetic haplotype, which is the most divergent human DNA haplotype."

Lauren allowed herself a small smile. As soon as the world haplotype came out of her mouth, Bo's eyes had completely glazed over. "What that means is, a cure that works on the Aka needs to be modified to work on the rest of us."

"Aaaaahhh." Bo nodded her head.

"Sorry if I'm boring you with all the science stuff. It ties in at the end, I promise."

"Don't apologize. I could listen to you talk all day."

"_All_ day?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Well…okay, most of the day. Listening to you talk will make me want to touch you. And once I touch you I'm gonna want to take your clothes off. And once I take your clothes off…well, there won't be much talking at all." Bo winked.

Lauren grinned. "Like, 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'?"

"More like, 'If You Give a Succubus a Hot Blonde'."

The two women laughed heartily, breaking the tension. "Okay," Bo prodded. "You're a young, idealistic doctor in the Congo, working your butt off to help other people. So far, nothing in this story would make me want to leave you."

Lauren sighed, before jumping back into the story. "Right. I had been in the Congo for three months, and my research had hit a brick wall. Around this time, rumors began spreading throughout the village of a terrible sickness affecting tribes in the north. That's when I learned about the Khassu. They were an advanced tribe, very solitary and very much feared, living in a village of several hundred people about a day's hike north of my camp. The legend among the Aka was that the Khassu were demons who fed on men and women while they slept. No one ever went near their village. One afternoon a tribesman stumbled into our camp, raving with fever and covered with lesions and a horrible rash, shaking as though he were having a seizure and coughing up blood. He looked at me and said three words, in perfect English: 'Khassu. Help us.' And he dropped down, dead, right in front of me."

"I packed up provisions that very day, and found a local guide to take me as far as the river. After that I would be on my own. The Aka warned me not to go, but I was needed. My research wasn't going anywhere, and I wasn't of use to anyone just sitting around, chewing pencils and pulling my hair out. I needed to do _something_. So my team stayed behind to continue their work, and I headed north."

"When I arrived at the village, it was complete chaos. There were six hundred and thirty-two men and women in that village, along with another ninety-eight children, all of whom were suffering from varying stages of the same illness. Many had already died, and there was no treatment, let alone a cure. I set myself up in a hut just outside of the village, and began seeing patients and taking cultures and samples. I was shocked to discover that most of the tribe spoke English. Their small society seemed much more advanced than that of the Aka. And they certainly didn't seem evil or dark in any way. If anything, they were grateful that _someone_ had come to help. But as I continued running tests, I discovered biological anomalies. These people were different, for sure, even more so than the L1 Aka. But I tried to put it out of my mind in favor of studying the disease. I quickly learned that it was a virus. But beyond that, there wasn't much I could do with so little equipment in so primitive a setting. People kept dying. It was devastating."

"A few days later, a man showed up in the village. I wasn't sure where he'd come from, but he came toting crateloads of medical and laboratory equipment. He seemed to have some sort of authority amongst the villagers, and I distinctly remember feeling an aura of power around him the first time he shook my hand. He certainly looked like a leader. Tall, powerful build, crisp white suit, deep voice. I'm talking 'Barry White' level of deepness. He introduced himself to me as Wallace Smith. I showed him the progress I had already made on the virus. He seemed incredibly impressed, and offered me all of his resources to continue my work. He was a brilliant man, and we worked side-by-side developing a vaccine. Normally that process would take months, but thanks to him we had it finished within the week. I administered the shot to each member of the tribe, and within hours their symptoms had cleared up. They were all fine. It was amazing."

"That evening he invited me to dinner in his camp, to celebrate. Over our meal he asked at least a hundred questions about me, my medical background, what I liked to study, that sort of thing. As the night went on the conversation grew strange. We talked about myths and legends of Africa. He asked me if I believed in monsters and creatures that go bump in the night. I gave him the standard answer about the possibility of still undiscovered species, blah blah blah. I mentioned that the tribes in this part of Africa displayed unique genetic variations and mutations. I mentioned how different the Khassu seemed, on a biological level."

Lauren took a deep breath, before continuing. "I'll never forget what happened next. He asked me, 'What if these people aren't people at all?'. Then he held out his hand, palm facing upward. And a small flicker of flame emerged, right there on his skin. I had to blink and shake my head, to make sure I was actually seeing what I thought I was seeing. The flame grew larger, and he twirled it around his fingers. He snapped his wrist and the flame shot out to the corner of the tent, incinerating a bookshelf, turning it to ash in just seconds. He looked at me and, said, 'What if _I'm_ not a person? What if I'm something different?' I was speechless. And that's when he told me all about the Fae."

"He spoke for hours. I was enthralled. And when he finally reached the end of his explanations, he offered me a job, as Doctor to the Light Fae. Before Val and Lachlan this man, Wallace Smith, was the Ash."

"And you accepted?" Bo asked.

"You need to understand I was already on a high from curing the disease of the Khassu. And this man – suddenly he was offering me _everything_! An entire new genus to study, filled with hundreds of unique and fascinating species! Unlimited resources to research whatever I wanted whether it affected human or Fae. A full staff of experts under my authority – individuals who had been alive since the days of Hippocrates and Hypatia. Bo, it was like he was setting an entire, brand new universe right in front of me and saying, 'Here, take it. It's yours!'" Lauren's hurried speech subsided, as she sunk deeply into the chair. "It was temptation, in its purest form. Eve and the Serpent. Me and The Ash."

"Lauren, I still don't understand what's so horrible…"

"It's horrible, because in that conversation I became just another Dr. McGill. As The Ash was talking, I could see myself winning the Nobel Prize for my discoveries under The Ash's employ. I could see myself being mentioned in the same sentence as Jonas Salk. And the second I let it become about me, and not about helping people, I was done for. I was so wrapped up the idea of glory that I didn't stop to consider what I would be giving up, if I took his offer. You've heard the phrase, 'read the fine print?' That's a universal truth, Bo. I was so eager to get started that I didn't even glance over the fine print, or think of the consequences. And my greed cost me my freedom."

"You were young…"

"That's not an excuse." Lauren shook her head. "But you're right. I _was_ young. And it was a long time, years even, before I realized the magnitude of my decision." She sighed. "I gave up my Alzheimer's research. McGill was successful, but he double-crossed the pharmaceutical corporation. Now he's being paid by several governments, insurance conglomerates and medical organizations to keep his mouth shut. With the amount of money spent annually on treatments for those with Alzheimer's, there is more cash to be made with a treatment than a cure. And _that_ is all on me. That's my fault. I could have beaten McGill to a cure. But that evening, when I agreed to servitude under The Ash, I abandoned humankind. I haven't had time to return to the Congo to continue my research. In fact for a long time, I'd forgotten about it entirely." Lauren rubbed her forehead, face contorted with shame that felt physically painful.

"But, back to that night. I agreed to servitude, but with the Fae, nothing is ever easy. It's not as simple as signing a contract. The Ash taking on a human requires a ceremony, in a place of power, officiated by an Elder. The Ash told me there was just such a place nearby – an ancient temple standing amongst the ruins of the prehistoric city of Okahange, considered by the Khassu to be the resting place of their ancestors. The next morning The Ash collected one of the village Elders, we packed a few supplies and off we went."

"I won't go into the details of the ceremony…but do you see this scar?" Lauren held up her right palm so Bo could take a look. She saw a tiny scar shaped like a runic character, on the webbing between the thumb and forefinger. "Oss. It marks me as one who belongs to the Light. Apparently they used to use necklaces, but those were too easy to pull off and throw away. So, lucky me, it's burned into my skin," she smiled sadly.

"Damn Lauren. If I knew about this before, I'd have asked for your freedom, not for a lousy three weeks of vacation."

Lauren laughed. "It's okay Bo, really. I love what I do. And things are really great for me with Val as the Ash. I couldn't leave now, even if I wanted to – which I don't. I've learned so much, and seen so many amazing things that most people never get to see. I've met some incredible Fae. I met Dyson, and Ciara, and Hale. I met you. So no, I don't regret the choice that I made. I just regret how I made it, and why. Oh!" Lauren exclaimed, as Bo pulled her in for a tight hug.

Bo tried to put every ounce of feeling, every ounce of respect and gratitude and…well…_love_ that she felt for Lauren into that hug. "Thank you," she murmured into the soft skin of Lauren's cheek.

"For what?" Lauren sat stiff as a board, confused, as Bo pulled her in deeper.

"For _trusting_ me." Bo pulled back, gently cradling Lauren's cheeks in her hands. "Thank you for telling me the truth." She kissed Lauren on her forehead. "Thank you for sharing the parts of yourself that you don't like." She kissed the tip of her nose. "Thank you for sharing your dark side." She kissed her cheek. "Which, by the way, isn't all that dark." Bo teased, kissing Lauren's other cheek and eliciting a smile from the Doctor. "Just…thank you." Bo kissed her on the lips, almost overwhelmed by the strength of her feelings for the suddenly vulnerable human in front of her.

"As much as I'd love to see where you're going with all this," Lauren paused as Bo kissed her lips again, "don't you want to know about the stone?"

"Oh yeah. The stone." Bo pulled back. "What does that have to do with the Congo?"

"That afternoon I went to the temple with The Ash and the village elder…something happened that The Ash didn't know about. Before we left, the elder removed one of the rocks from the temple wall. Behind it, there was a small box. And inside _that_ was a small, blue stone, shaped like an owl. He approached me, and said he wanted to give me a gift as a thank you for saving his tribe. He put the stone in my hand, closed his own hands around it, and began to chant. I didn't understand what he was saying, but a bright blue light shot out from the between my fingers. It expanded and snaked around my entire body, and then just like that it was gone. The Elder finished his chant, smiled at me, then took the stone and put it back where he'd found it."

"Whoa," Bo cut in. "What did it do?"

Lauren shrugged. "Nothing, as far as I could tell. I didn't feel any different. I still don't. The only person I ever mentioned it to was Trick – I was hoping he could offer an explanation but he was stumped too. I suppose knowing what we know now, that it was the Siancyn, could offer up some clues. But like I said – I feel the same now as I felt six years ago, before the whole incident. Except maybe a little bit older and wiser."

Bo grinned. "Well, that's what the stone is supposed to do, right? 'Grant untold wisdom'? Maybe you only feel a _little bit_ wiser because you were _already_ a wise, supergenius to begin with."

Lauren rolled her eyes so violently it actually stung. "Yeah, right." She pulled Bo close and kicked up the recliner, so they were practically lying down on the couch. "But thanks," she said, feeling a bit of happiness for the first time since she'd started her story. Bo laid her head on Lauren's chest, enjoying the slight rise and fall as Lauren breathed in and out. "You wanna fool around?" Lauren asked.

Much to Bo's shock, she found that she didn't. She was perfectly happy to stay right where she was, for as long as she could. "Do you?" She hedged.

"Not really." Lauren wrapped her arms tighter around Bo, and bent slightly to breathe in the scent of Bo's shampoo. "But I _do_ feel like I've been talking too much. It's your turn." She closed her eyes and smiled. "Tell me a story."

"What kind of a story?"

"How about… 'If You Give a Succubus a Hot Blonde?'"

"Whaaat?" Bo asked, her head bouncing up and down as Lauren laughed heartily. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I'll even get you started." Lauren cleared her throat. "If you give a Succubus a Hot Blonde, she'll want to take her to dinner."

Bo chuckled, but quickly picked up the story. "And if she takes the Blonde to dinner, she'll want to order wine."

Lauren grinned. "And if she orders wine, they'll both get a little tipsy."

"And if they both get tipsy, they'll take a taxi home."

"And if they take a taxi, it'll drop them at the doorstep."

Bo laughed. "And if the Succubus is at the doorstep, she'll want a kiss goodnight."

"And if the Succubus gets her kiss, then the Blonde will invite her inside." Lauren chuckled.

"And if the Succubus goes inside, she'll never want to leave." Bo looked up at Lauren, suddenly all seriousness. Lauren took a few seconds before finishing.

"And if she never leaves…they'll live happily ever after." The two women stared at each other, before breaking out in simultaneous shy, embarrassed grins. Lauren held tightly to Bo until they dozed off in each other's arms.

They slept all the way to Africa.


	30. Welcome to the Jungle

**Chapter 30 – Welcome to the Jungle**

Bo fought desperately to keep from laughing, as Kenzi emerged from their shared bathroom at the Mwigmai Hostel and Outdoor Outfitters.

"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" Bo managed to eke out. She covered her mouth with her hand so Kenzi wouldn't see the cheshire cat grin on her face.

"I hate khaki." Kenzi brushed a stray bit of thread from her brand new slacks. "It's too light. Why don't they make expedition khaki in dark colors?" She snapped her fingers. "That's how I'll make my first million. Create a new line and call it, 'Blahki.' Outdoor wear for your inner goth."

"Spin around, so I can get the full idea." Bo twirled her finger. Kenzi groaned, but complied. She was done up in a baggy pair of convertible khaki pants, with the legs tucked into a heavy, brown pair of hiking boots. Her shirt, also khaki, had more pockets than one human being could ever need, with a pair of sleeves that hung past Kenzi's thumbs when she straightened her arms. In contrast to the tight clothing Kenzi was so fond of, everything here was baggy and way too big. It made her look like an anorexic brown elephant. To top off the ensemble, she had a khaki colored pith helmet plopped on her head, the brim hiding her eyes.

Bo giggled. "You look like a cartoon explorer from the 1800s."

"It's the helmet, right? It's too much." Kenzi took off the headgear and tossed it in the corner, where their backpacks and trekking poles were already stashed. "The Doc said I needed it, to protect my head from the sun. And she said something about spiders the size of gophers getting tangled up in my hair." Kenzi shivered at the thought.

"I think Lauren made that second part up," Bo teased, getting up from her chair to do one last check of the gear. "Do you have sunscreen?"

Kenzi rummaged in one of her shirt pockets, and pulled out a small tube. "SPF100. Total protection for the discerning pasty white girl." Kenzi frowned at Bo. "Aren't you getting dressed? Lauren says we're leaving in a half hour."

"What do you mean? I _am_ dressed."

Kenzi scoffed. "Bo. You're wearing a black tank top and a pair of shorts that would be illegal in most countries. This is a three day hike in the jungle, not turning tricks on the street corner. What about the mosquitos and snakes and shit?"

"I'm a Fae. I heal." Bo shrugged. "Besides, I'm wearing hiking boots. That's jungle-y."

"When the Doc sees you she's gonna be pissed. As soon as she puts her tongue back in her mouth."

Bo pulled out a pair of long pants from her bag. Kenzi was probably right…yes Bo could heal, but bug bites and poisonous plants were still pretty unpleasant. "I don't see why we couldn't just book direct with that Fae travel agent, and save ourselves the trouble of a long hike."

Kenzi rolled her eyes. "Probably because you Succ-ked her, then never called her back."

"_Really_?" Bo and Kenzi spun around to see Lauren standing in the doorway, arms folded over her chest, an unreadable expression shrouding her face. "You banged the travel lady?"

"Well it wasn't a 'bang'," Bo grinned. "It was more like a pop. Like a BB gun. It wasn't a Grade A bunker busting Stark Industries style laser canon, like what you have."

Kenzi scoffed. "If your vaginas are packing heat, I hope you use armor plated dental dams."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "As interested as I am to hear more about Bo's sexual history, the reason we didn't use the travel agent is because The Ash doesn't want anyone to know we're here. So we're trekking the old fashioned way. Are you two ready to go? We need to move before it starts to get dark outside, unless you want to spend the night in the open air with the pythons and mambas…" she stared blankly at Bo. "Is that really what you're wearing?"

"I told you!" Kenzi stood up and grabbed her pack. "Put some pants on you slut, and let's get outta here."

"You know, Kenzi," Lauren's tone turned gentle, "You really don't have to come along for this. We're going to be roughing it through the woods…you won't have a television, or video games, or phone reception, or running water…"

"I can be outdoorsy! I've been camping!"

Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Once." Kenzi continued. "In our backyard. In my Lion King tent and sleeping bag. And yeah okay, I got scared and ran back inside but still…I was outdoorsy for like, 45 minutes. I got this." She stomped out of their shared hut and slammed the door.

Lauren and Bo looked at each other, and laughed. "Are you sure she can handle it?" Lauren asked.

"Hell, I'm not even sure if _I_ can handle it." Bo slipped off her short shorts, and into a pair of khakis, Lauren watching her every move. Bo stood up straight and, for the first time, took a good look at the good doctor.

Lauren wore a pair of tan cargo pants, and a brown leather jacket overtop a beige shirt with the top three buttons undone. A canteen was strapped to the belt loop of her pants. In her hand she held a dark brown snap brim fedora.

Bo licked her lips. "Can you put that hat on?"

"What?" Lauren chuckled.

"Please?" Bo took a step forward.

Lauren shrugged, and put the capper on the ensemble. Bo exhaled. "You look like a sexy, blonde, female Indiana Jones. I didn't realize you could be any hotter…but this is a whole new level of fuckable."

Lauren laughed. "You think so? I'm surprised this stuff still fits. I bought it all when I came to the Congo six years ago. I guess my body hasn't changed all that much."

"Your body," Bo took a step forward, "is perfect. Every bit of you, from your arms to your thighs to your fingers and toes." Bo lifted Lauren's hand to her lips, and kissed it for effect.

Lauren sighed. "You exaggerate."

"I don't." Bo leaned forward and kissed Lauren's slender neck.

"Bo?" Lauren cleared her throat, determined to cut things off before she was thrown past the point of no return. "We really need to leave, _now_, if we want to make the riverbank by sundown."

"Fine." Bo pulled away, grinning. "But the next time I get you alone...I want you to wear that hat. And nothing _but _that hat." Bo slapped Lauren playfully on the butt, and walked to the corner to grab the bags.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Would you at least put on a long sleeved shirt? I like having tickets to the gun show….but you need to be concerned about sunburn, bug bites, cuts or scratches that may become infected…"

Bo flung her backpack around her shoulders, ignoring Lauren's request. "It's not about the guns, Doc. I need to let the girls breathe." She gave one last look around the room. "What time is it?"

Now that Bo had drawn Lauren's attention to her cleavage, Lauren couldn't concentrate on anything else. Time? What time?

What was time?

"It's boobs o'clock." Lauren heard herself mumble.

A small, sideways grin spread over Bo's face. "What did you just say?"

Lauren's face reddened instantly, and tore her eyes away, kicking herself mentally for letting that phrase slip from her lips. She checked her watch. "It's almost eleven."

"But what did you say _before_ that?" Bo followed, as Lauren headed for the door.

"Nothing. I said nothing."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard –" Bo was suddenly silenced, as Lauren turned, grabbed Bo's face between her palms, and laid a thick, desperate, please-shut-the-fuck-up kiss on the Succubus' pleasantly surprised lips.

Lauren pulled away and stared directly in Bo's eyes. "You heard nothing."

"Okay, okay." Bo laughed. "I heard nothing. Lead on, Doctor Jones."

Lauren grinned and put the hat on, playfully sliding her fingers across the brim. "Call me Indy. Now get your ass moving, Succubus. Don't make me crack the whip."

* * *

Lauren parked the Jeep 4x4 at the edge of a thicket of ferns. A grove of Kapok trees loomed above them, casting shadows over the entrance to a small trail through the vegetation. This is where the dirt road they'd been following for the past few hours came to an abrupt end. This is where they'd have to get out and start walking. Lauren was grateful, at least, for the sunlight. It was a rare thing to see in this area, this deep into the rainy season. She had a feeling their luck wouldn't hold out for the entire trip. She cut the ignition. Dyson pulled up beside her, and did the same.

The tension was palpable. For a moment, no one moved or spoke. They were all, each one of them, dealing with different levels of nervousness.

Finally Kenzi stood up in his backseat. She held something in her hand, but Lauren couldn't tell what it was. Ignoring the distraction for the time being, she, Bo, and Ciara got out of the car and started unpacking the camping gear. Beside them, Dyson, Hale and Kenzi were lugging backpacks from the Jeep. Lauren picked up a few snippets of their conversation.

"My babushka told me, 'Kenzi, you're such a little girl. When you're scared, you make yourself bigger. You scream, and you shout, and you let the thing you fear know that _it _should be afraid of _you_.' And then she passed out from the vodka, and I snatched it from her and ran into the basement to drink it…but still! Good advice."

"And that works?" Hale asked. "Because I don't want to be doing this. There's too much shit in there that can kill you. Snakes and shit. Not just regular, innocent, thirty foot pythons. I'm talking Fae serpents that can hypnotize you and suck out your insides and…what's that thing?" He asked, pointing, as Kenzi placed a box on the hood of the Jeep, and hit a button.

Lauren's ears perked up, as a familiar, echoing electric guitar blasted out through the tiny, but powerful, speakers. She grinned. She couldn't help it.

"Do you know where you are, Hale?" Kenzi asked.

"Uhhh. No?"

"You're in the jungle, baby. And you're gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Behind her, the guitar picked up, joined by drums, and a screaming Axl Rose. Kenzi hopped up on the roof, next to the portable stereo, banging her head and rocking out, shouting along to the first screaming, lyric free seconds of Guns and Roses – Welcome to the Jungle.

Lauren started tapping her foot. Beside her, Bo bobbed her head. And then, to everyone's surprise, proper British fairy queen Ciara got down and dirty and started to sing.

"Welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games! We got everything you want, honey we know the names!" She pointed to Lauren, and Lauren grinned widely and picked up the lyrics:

"We are the people that can find whatever you may need! If you got the money honey, we got your disease!" Lauren pointed to Bo, who screamed:

"In the jungle! Welcome to the jungle watch it bring it to your…"

"Shun-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-knees, knees!" Dyson cut in with a howl. "Awooooo! I wanna watch you bleed!"

Kenzi leapt off the hood with a windmill slam on her air guitar. "Welcome to the jungle we take it day by day! If you want it you're gonna bleed but that's the price you pay!"

Lauren pulled Bo towards her. "And you're a very sexy girl, that's very hard to please. You can taste the bright lights but you won't get them for free."

Ciara sashayed next to the stereo, "In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Hale?!"

"Feel my, my, my serpentine!" Hale finally gave in.

The entire Doc Squad yelled at the top of their lungs, "I WANNA HEAR YOU SCREAM!"

And somehow, in the middle of one of the most deadly and dangerous situations they'd ever faced, in a remote location in the middle of nowhere, Africa, their very serious expedition turned into a head banging, leaping, air drumming dance party. For a tension breaking four minutes and twenty-seven seconds, they rocked out and had some fun.

* * *

A mile away, from the cover of the bush, Serena pulled her binoculars from her eyes and handed them to Vex. A look of confusion covered her features, her eyes wide and mouth agape. "Tell me Vex, what does it look like they're doing?"

Vex put the binoculars up to his eyes, and grinned. "If I don't know any better, I'd say they were dancing. Looks like wolf boy is trying out for the Air Guitar World Championships. And the brunette might be dry humping the blonde. It's hard to tell from this angle."

Serena snatched the binoculars back, and looked through them again. "I thought so. What the hell is wrong with these people?"

"I quite like it." Vex chuckled. "A little bit of raunch, before the real work begins. Who doesn't love a little bit of raunch, am I right?" He thrust his hips toward Serena; she socked him in the face as a reply. They both jumped, as the Pain Eater came crashing through the bushes.

"I'm going to die here." He gasped, as opaque beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. "My kind are not meant for such climatessss. We like the cold. And the darknesssss." He coughed, and clutched at his chest with a clawed hand. "Ssssoooo….humid! Feelssss….like…drowning!"

Serena rolled her eyes, and pulled what looked like a giant fishbowl from her backpack. She plunked it, not at all gently, on top of the Pain Eater's head. The curved glass magnified his facial features and made his eyes bug out like…well, a bug. "Better?"

He took a few deep breaths, and his shoulders slumped with relief. "Yeeeeeeeesssssssssssss."

Vex made a disgusted face. "Mate, did you just _come_?"

The Pain Eater ignored Vex, turning instead to Serena. "What isss thisss wonderful contraption?"

She shrugged. "Something the boss gave me to help you breathe."

He sputtered angrily, and a spray of spittle clouded the glass. "Why did you not give it to me _before_?"

"I liked watching you suffer." She shrugged and took another long look through the binoculars. The Doc Squad had stopped flailing around, and looked to be getting back to the business of prepping for the long hike. "Showtime," Serena muttered. "Remember, we're staying at least a mile and a half behind, at all times. They should be easy enough to track through all the bushes and the mud. The wolf has world class hearing, so at least _try_ not to make a lot of noise when you walk." Serena and Vex stared at the Pain Eater, who sheepishly did his best to pull his robe over his massive feet.

"And they're off," Vex said, as he watched the distant, tiny forms of their rivals disappear into the green mass of the Congo Rainforest.

* * *

**A/N: ** _If you want a chuckle, go to YouTube and play the song "Welcome to the Jungle" while picturing it sung by the characters of Lost Girl. If that doesn't make you grin, I don't know what will. I particularly suspect that Bo would do a great job with the Axl Rose 'heavy breathing' portion of the song. _


	31. Superfreak

**Chapter 31 – Superfreak**

Congo Rainforest. Day 1. 5pm.

"Have you ever stopped and thought about how ridiculous our lives are?" Kenzi opined, as she munched on a Cheeto.

Bo frowned. Her arms were covered in mud and sweat, muscles straining as she fought her way through a forest of mangroves. "Not really, but I think it's ridiculous that I'm waving a machete around the jungle hacking trees and leaves, while you're walking behind me, eating junk food, and contributing nothing to the group but bullshit observations."

"It's not bullshit, it's truth. And I'm drafting. I get in your slipstream, so I don't use up all my weak human energy. It's called ae...uh…shit, what's it called. Doc?"

"It's called aerodynamics. But in your case, I'd call it 'being lazy.'" Lauren bent over, hands on her knees, gulping in the humid jungle air. The atmosphere was so thick she felt she might be better off drinking it than breathing it. She flung her machete downward in frustration; it wedged itself six inches into the muddy ground.

"I thought you were supposed to be Indiana Jones' Tarzan wannabe jungle wife." Bo teased, unhooking a water bottle from her pack and tossing it at Lauren. "You should be used to this."

"Yeah well, I've had many long years of relative comfort in an air conditioned lab." She drank deeply from the bottle, and wiped her mouth. "It takes more than a few hours to recondition oneself for field work."

"This feels like a hell of a lot more than a few hours." Hale gasped, crashing through the bushes to catch up with the ladies. "It feels like we've been walking for three months."

Lauren frowned. "_That_ was an oddly specific time frame."

"Three months huh?" Kenzi said, raising an eyebrow. "Do you want a medal or a plaque for your 'Exaggerator of the Week' award? I bet it would look really nice on your mantelpiece next to the Flo Rida Memorial Whistle Baby Championship trophy."

"I'm with them. You need to shut up and start doing some work, shorty." Hale tossed his machete at Kenzi's feet, then whipped his t-shirt off. He dabbed at his sweaty forehead with the cloth.

"Um….hello there, muscles," Kenzi muttered, suddenly transfixed by the sight of Hale's sculpted torso. "I don't think we've been properly introduced – my name is Kenzi."

"Girl, what the hell are you talking a-ooooh." Realization hit Hale, and he grinned. "You like that, huh? You like my twelve pack?" Kenzi simply nodded her response and continued to stare.

"Are you _flexing_?" Lauren asked, trying to suppress a laugh.

"Gotta give her the full effect, don't I?" Hale lifted his hands above his head, to show off his abs in all their glory. "Aw yeah."

"Kenzi?" Bo poked her friend in the shoulder, but Kenzi didn't seem to notice.

"Yes. Mama like…" Kenzi muttered under her breath. Hale swung his shirt over his head and spun around, shaking his butt like a male stripper.

"Oh my god," Lauren facepalmed.

Just at that moment, Ciara and Dyson emerged from a grove of trees. They'd gotten ahead of the rest of the group, and were doubling back to check and make sure everything was okay. Dyson surveyed the scene as Kenzi walked up to Hale and started rubbing his abs. Dyson wasn't sure that 'okay' was the right word to describe the scene. "Hey bro, there's a dollar in it for you if you take your pants off!"

"Make it ten and you've _got yourself _a _deal_._" _Hale accentuated each word with a thrust of his hips.

"Does anyone have a ten spot?" Kenzi asked, palm outstretched. "Anyone who can help a sister out?"

"Kenz." Bo whispered. "You gotta snap out of this, you're embarrassing yourself."

"What, you're allowed to go around looking at Lauren like she's made out of bacon, but I can't enjoy the sight of true abdominal greatness?"

"Oi! Magic Mike!" Ciara shouted. "As much as I'm loving the show, put your clothes back on and get moving. We only have a few hours of daylight left."

"Awwww," Kenzi groaned, as Hale pulled his shirt back on.

"Hey, just so you know," Hale clapped her on the shoulder. "I'm available for private viewings and shows. Just say the word." He winked and limped toward Dyson and Ciara, following them into the underbrush. Lauren watched them go.

"That was weird." She took one last sip of water, then hiked up her backpack.

Bo grinned. "You know, if _you_ wanted to take _your _shirt off and dance around a little bit, I wouldn't mind."

Lauren rolled her eyes and strapped the pack around her waist. "You're going to need a lot more than ten dollars to make me do that. I don't come cheap."

Bo slunk toward Lauren, and made a big show about unstrapping Lauren's pack. She ran a finger along the inside of the Doctor's khakis, using it to pull her closer. "You'll come when I say you'll come," Bo whispered.

"Oh, is _that_ how this works?" Lauren grinned.

"Uh huh." Bo bit her lip and nodded.

"You see that's funny, because I could have _sworn _it was the other way around." She wrapped her arms around Bo's waist and mashed their hips together.

"You were misinformed." Bo untucked Lauren's shirt, and slid her hands up the Doctor's sides.

Lauren ground her thigh against Bo's center, eliciting a gasp from the Succubus. "I'd love to offer you proof to the contrary," she said, "But I'm sweaty, tired, and covered in mud. And we still have eight miles of terrain to cover." She gave Bo a peck on the lips before pulling away.

"Seriously?" Bo whined. "We have plenty of time for a quickie! We can hide behind those bushes and catch up to the others before they even realize we're not there."

"I'm sorry, but we can't."

"Why not?" Bo asked, petulantly stomping her foot.

"Because I said so," Lauren teased, enjoying Bo's discomfort.

"HEY!" Kenzi shouted back to them. "Are you two coming, or what?"

"Apparently not," Bo growled to herself. She hoisted her backpack around her shoulders and headed toward the sound of Kenzi's voice. Lauren tucked in her shirt, grinning the entire time, and followed.

* * *

Congo Rainforest. Day 1. 8pm.

Lauren assumed that the sun was setting, judging by the darkness shrouding their campsite. Darkness was a relative term. Not much sunlight would have reached their campsite anyway, thanks to the wall of trees surrounding them on all sides. So this was simply a darker shade of dark. She watched from her perch on a fallen log, as Dyson pounded the last tent peg into the ground. He stood and surveyed his handiwork – four small, two person tents stood in a circle around a roaring fire.

Kenzi lay in a useless heap on the mossy earth, occasionally making a pathetic moaning sound. Bo stepped over her and tossed an armload of branches onto the flames. The fire wasn't so much for heat, but to keep away any wild animals that might get any ideas. Ciara emerged from the tent with two handfuls of granola bars, handing one to each of the team members. "Dinner is served," she said.

"Gimme." Kenzi held her arm in the air and wiggled her fingers, but otherwise didn't move.

Hale sat down on the log next to Lauren, and unfolded a large map. He spun it around. He spun it again. "You're gonna have to help me Doc, I have no idea where we are."

Lauren laid the map on the ground and studied it for a few seconds before responding. "We're here." She pointed. "A day's hike east of my old research camp. Tomorrow we follow the river for about twenty four miles, then branch off through the forest for the final two. We'll get to the site before sunset, if all goes well. Hiking along the riverbank should be easier than bushwhacking through the jungle like we've been doing today."

"Easier on the legs, maybe." Dyson sat across from them, and rubbed his beard. "But if we're going to be hiking along a water source, we need to look out for predators and UnderFae."

Bo scoffed. "What are _you _so worried about, Big Bad? If anything attacks you, you can wolf out and rip them to shreds."

"I'm not worried about me." Dyson chomped a piece of his granola bar. "Or you. But there are some people in this group who aren't so good at defending themselves." He nudged Kenzi with his boot.

"Don't touch me, everything hurts." She moaned into the ground. "My blisters have blisters."

Bo rolled her eyes. "You didn't have to come…"

Kenzi groaned and managed to roll herself onto her stomach. "_Don't even_ say 'I told you so'. If those words come out of your mouth, I will murder your future Succubabies."

"You'd have to get up, first," Bo teased.

Kenzi opened her mouth like she was about to say something smart ass. Instead all she said was "good point".

"C'mon l'il mama." Hale scooped Kenzi in his arms and carried her to the closest tent. "If you're gonna pass out you might as well do it in a sleeping bag."

"But the moss is so comfy," she yawned as Hale unzipped the tent flap.

"Yeah, comfy now. Until you get chomped by a swarm of flesh eating bugs." He laid her gently on the sleeping bag. "Get some sleep. It's a long day tomorrow." He backed out of the tent. Before he'd even finished zipping it up he heard Kenzi's deep breaths turn into gentle snores. He rejoined the group at the fireplace.

"You're such a gentleman," Dyson teased.

"Yeah well, my mom raised me right. I'm not an animal like you," Hale shot back. Dyson gave him a big, wolfy grin in return, and tossed him another granola bar. Bo intercepted the pass, unwrapped the bar, and finished it off in three bites. "Hey!" Hale gave her a swat, but she jumped out of reach.

"Snooze and lose." She grinned and crossed the fireplace, plunking herself down in front of Lauren. She leaned backward into the Doctor, using Lauren's body like a recliner and her thighs like an armrest. When Lauren started absentmindedly massaging Bo's scalp, running her fingers through her hair, Bo decided there was nowhere else on earth she'd rather be.

Ciara handed Hale another granola bar, and the team sat quietly, staring at the fire. Although the group was silent, the jungle was anything but. Tree frogs peeped a chorus, predators howled, and somewhere above them monkeys flitted through the trees, making strange noises and yelling at each other. Bo sat and listened, contentedly, as Lauren stroked her hair.

All was peaceful.

Until a blood curdling scream ripped through their campsite, directly from Kenzi's tent. Bo was up like a shot. "KENZI!"

"AAAAAHHHH! FUCK GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

Dyson was the closest, and the first to the tent. He opened the flap and was about to storm inside when he saw exactly what Kenzi was screaming at. "Uh uh…" he backed out. "Uh uh, uh uh, no way." He jumped up and down on one foot, then another, shaking his hands and arms like there were insects crawling all over him. "Get it, Lauren. Get it. Kill it."

"WILL SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!?" Kenzi screamed

"What are you, a five-year-old girl?" Bo looked at him in disgust, before poking her head into Kenzi's tent. "Oh FUCK!" Bo too yanked her head out of the tent like she'd been slapped in the face, eyes wide. "Fuck, fuck….LAUREN?"

"I'm right behind you, what the hell is the matter with you people?" She shoved Dyson and Bo aside, squatted down, and peered into the tent. What she saw was like something from a nightmare. She stared into the bulging eyes and snapping pincers of a mustard-yellow spider the size of a dachshund. It was perched directly on Kenzi's stomach. "Don't. Move." Lauren told Kenzi, as she slowly inched backwards, and the color drained from her face.

"Doc?! DOC! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DOC?" Kenzi yelled, as Lauren let the tent flap fall from her hand. Kenzi's screams turned to pathetic, blubbery whimpers.

"What the fuck is that thing!?" Bo hid behind Lauren, using her as a shield. "It's like a monster. Like a mutated monster tarantula. Jesus Christ Lauren it's bigger than Kenzi!"

"It's not a tarantula." Lauren squeaked out. Terror had seized her chest, but she had to be the adult here. Obviously Dyson and Bo couldn't handle things. "Tarantulas aren't native to the Congo. _THAT_ is a J'ba Fofi. It's a spider-like Underfae. We're lucky it's only a baby – they grow up to four feet tall."

There was a crash behind them, as Dyson passed out next to the campfire. "Unbelievable," Ciara muttered, rolling him over so he didn't catch on fire.

"Hale?" Lauren asked.

"Right here." He squatted next to her, face a picture of worry.

"I need you to calm Kenzi down. If the spider becomes agitated, he may bite. J'ba Fofi are extremely poisonous. Can you make her sleep?" Hale nodded and shuffled to the other side of the tent. He bent down next to where Kenzi's head would be, and whistled a soft tune, almost like a lullaby, through the canvas. The whimpers from inside quickly stopped, replaced once again by Kenzi's soft snores.

"There." Hale wiped his mouth and rejoined Bo and Lauren. "She's asleep."

"Oh-kay." Bo took a deep breath. "How do we kill this thing?"

Lauren shook her head. "We can't. At least not while it's still in the tent with Kenzi. These things aren't just poisonous…their blood is highly acidic. If we smoosh it like a regular spider, Kenzi is going to get burned. Literally."

Ciara kneeled next to Lauren, leaving Dyson unconscious and by himself. "So, we lure it out."

"How?" Bo asked.

Hale held up his granola bar. "Munchies?"

"Worth a shot." Lauren nodded. She unwrapped the bar and placed it a few feet in front of the tent. "Bo, grab that hiking stick." Bo did as she was told, and stood next to the tent. Lauren stood next to her. "When this thing comes out, I want you to do your best Tiger Woods impression."

"You want me to cheat on you with a porn star?"

"No I don..." Lauren slapped herself in the forehead and groaned. "I want you to smack that thing to kingdom come. Okay?"

"Got it." Bo took up a golfer's stance, like she was about to start Hole One at Augusta. Lauren tiptoed back to the tent flap, and gently opened it. The spider stared back at her. It hadn't even moved since the ordeal started.

"Ciara," Lauren whispered. She motioned for Ciara to hold open the tent flap, then picked up the granola bar and showed it to the spider monster. "Heeeeeere freaky freaky freak." She called it like she might call a dog. The spider perked up, and wriggled its pincers.

Lauren felt like she might throw up, but she swallowed and ignored the sensation. "Come on boy. Come and get the yummy food." The spider wriggled its pincers again, and inched forward. "Here it comes Bo, get ready," Lauren whispered, never taking her eyes off the arachnid.

Bo bent her knees. All she knew about golf she'd learned from the movie Happy Gilmore. She didn't expect that would be much help in this situation. She held the hiking stick high above her head, ready to swing.

The spider hopped down from Kenzi's stomach, causing Lauren to flinch. She composed herself and duckwalked backwards. "Come on, you disgusting freak monkey. Come and get the granola."

Bo held her breath as first two, then four, then eight thick, hairy, yellow legs scuttled out from the tent, into the open. Now that she had a good look at it, illuminated by the light from the fire, it looked like some sort of demon spawn from the ninth circle of hell. Something snapped in her brain.

Bo froze.

"Do it now, Bo." Lauren muttered from the side of her mouth, as the spider inched closer. Bo stood stock still, hiking stick high in the air, like a statue. "Bo!" Lauren hissed, staring the creature in its glowing red eyes. As the seconds ticked by, it became increasingly obvious to Lauren that Bo wasn't going to move. "Shit!" she muttered to herself. She wanted to try and get Ciara or Hale's attention, but she was afraid the spider would pounce the moment she looked away.

Hale and Ciara would have been useless anyway. Ciara was frozen in place just like Bo, and Hale was hiding behind a tree with his hands over his eyes. Dyson was still unconscious. Or at least pretending to be.

"God. Damn. It." Lauren realized she was in this alone. She placed the granola bar on the ground, and slowly reached behind her, to where a towel was drying on a makeshift clothesline. She waited until the creature was preoccupied with its meal and took a deep breath, snapping the towel between her hands.

"Dear person or thing or entity or idea or particle or stroke of dumb luck that created the universe. Please help me get out of this alive," she silently whispered. She took a deep breath, counted to ten, and charged.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" A guttural scream ripped forth from her lungs as she grabbed the creature at full speed, and wrapped the towel around it to keep it from biting her. "AAAAHHHHH!" The scream continued, unending, as she sprinted full speed into the jungle undergrowth, holding the squirming spider at arm's length like it was a ticking time bomb about to explode. "AAAAAHHHH!" The screams got louder as the spider managed to wriggle its head out of the towel and snap at the exposed skin of Lauren's forearm. "**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!**" The scream reached maximum volume as Lauren tripped over a rock and the creature, still wrapped in the towel, flew from her outstretched arms and careened off the side of an embankment into a small stream fifty feet below. Lauren kept screaming until the creature, and the towel, floated downstream, out of eye sight. She took two deep breaths, and sprinted full speed back the way she came, crashing through the woods like Bigfoot on caffeine pills, swearing up a storm that would make a prison inmate blush. She emerged back at the campsite, shaking uncontrollably.

"Fucking shit piss asshole son of a bitch fucking sack of goddamn fuck on a stick." Lauren shouted, shaking out all her limbs to in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the creepy crawly feeling assaulting her body. "Get me the sanitizing wipes!" She shouted to no one in particular. Bo, Ciara and Hale stared at her. No one moved. "SOMEONE GET ME THE GODDAMN SANITIZING WIPES, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!"

Bo leaped over the fireplace in a move that would make Olympic athletes jealous, and rummaged through her backpack until she found a pack of sani-wipes. She handed them to Lauren who ripped the bag open with her teeth, grabbed a handful of wipes, and furiously started rubbing every millimeter of exposed skin on her body.

Bo inched closer to Lauren. "Babe I'm sorry, do you want any…"

"GAH!" Lauren spun on her girlfriend, fire in her eyes. "Do NOT touch me. We're in a fight." The skin on Lauren's arms was turning red from the scrubbing. Lauren flung the empty pack and all the wipes in the fireplace, and stomped toward the tents. "Four fucking Fae, abandoning a human to get rid of a j'ba fofi. You can kill a _dragon_, but you can't kill a spider." She ripped open the tent. When Bo made to follow her, Lauren rounded on her girlfriend again. "Oh no you don't. You find somewhere else to sleep tonight."

Bo paused outside the tent, as Lauren zipped herself in. She thought about asking a question, thought better of it, then ended up asking anyway. She was a Succubus. She couldn't help herself. "Sooooo…I guess that means you don't want to have sex tonight?" Bo winced, immediately regretting the decision. There was a long pause, before Lauren inched the tent flap open and poked her head through.

"You'll be lucky if I ever have sex with you _again_." Lauren huffed, zipping the tent flap back up. "HALE! Knock me out!"

Hale shuffled over like a kid in trouble with his mom, and within a few seconds had whistled Lauren to sleep. Ciara shuddered once before retreating into her own tent. Bo glanced around at the four tents, three of which were currently occupied, and looked sheepishly at the Siren. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Huh? Yeah," Hale agreed, rubbing his forehead.

"I just mean sleep. No funny business."

"Girl, my testicles receded up into my body five minutes ago. I couldn't have sex with you right now if I tried."

"Good." Bo slunk into the tent and collapsed. Hale followed close behind.

An eerie silence descended over the camp. The humans slept soundly and dreamlessly in their tents, thanks to Hale's Siren song. Ciara followed closely behind, then Hale, and then, eventually, Bo. The fire slowly burnt itself down until only glowing red embers remained. An industrious ant was the only creature still moving around. He wound his way around the remaining granola crumbs, taking note of their location so he could send reinforcements to collect them later. As he patrolled he noticed something out of place. A large something, slowly rising and falling, and making funny noises. The ant, a much more curious individual than other members of his colony, went to investigate. Using his sharp, preternaturally strong claws, he climbed up on the something, scaling it to its very top. He made his way through a forest of fur, following the strange noises. The ant had no mental construct to understand the noise, what a human might refer to as a 'wheeze'. But he was determined to discover the source of the sound. He emerged from the fur, and stared forward into two great canyons, where a strong breeze pushed the ant backward, and then pulled him forward again. The ant wriggled his antennae, and made the decision to push forward. He entered one of the canyons without a second thought.

"Pfhssszzzttfffzzzzcccck." Dyson woke up with a start and slapped his nose so hard it made his eyes water. "OOOW. Damn it!" He swore, scratching his itchy nose. It wasn't until a few seconds later that he realized how dark it was. "Guys?" He looked around him, eyes adjusting to the darkness, at four closed tents. "Guys?" He rubbed his nose again, and snorted. "What did I miss? Lauren? Ciara? Hale?" Dyson started to panic. "Anyone awake? _Guys_?"

The ant shook his antennae, and rolled over. He'd landed on the grass next to the something, and was still a little bit stunned. The something was making more, louder noise now, and the ant spat in its general direction and kicked the dirt before walking away. The damn something smelled funny anyway. And the ant had more important things to do.

* * *

**A/N** – I am f*cking terrified of spiders. For real you guys, I've had the creepy crawlies all day.

_**Real**_** A/N** – Sorry it's been such a long time. I have a lot going on in my personal life right now…among other things I'm training for a marathon. It's amazing how running 30-40 miles per week will eat up all your spare time. I haven't even had a chance to watch much of Season Three yet – all the eps are waiting patiently on my DVR. As such, please don't expect any characters or ideas from Season 3 to be included in this fic (unless it's by accident)…because I haven't seen them yet. :-p I'm told, however, that some people didn't like the way the Doccubus relationship was handled in later eps. I've said it before that my fic is (mostly) an angst free zone, so I hope this will be refreshing for some of you. Bo and Lauren probably won't be fighting about trivial stuff like the whole human vs. Fae thing. Instead, they will be fighting over important stuff. Like who has to kill the giant ass spiders.


End file.
